He gave a subtle nod. He walked closer and the guard opened the gates before he even reached it.
He said "Thanks."
The lady said, "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
"I just want to ask a question."
"Come inside. It's freezing cold out here."
She looked very complaisant. She had always been very friendly.
They sat inside the lobby.
Jack was just observing the interior of the orphanage. Familiarizing himself to the place he once knew.
The house had a history that echoed within the walls. Somewhere within, mixed with the pain, were images of solitude.
The walls didn't seem so grey when he was only a boy. The walls were bare and the paint was in need of loving care. It stood strong beneath the flakes and dirt of the years.
The floors had been a highly polished parquet, individual blocks lovingly places and sanded to a smooth finish before the varnish was brushed on with fine brushes.
Vividly, he could picture his childhood. The inside is more like an asylum than anything that could be called a home.
There was a smell of mildew, stale air coming from poor ventilation. Very humid.
He looked very serious, with eyes of an empty soul.
The lady spoke, "You seem like you're here for a serious business."
He didn't answer and just kept on looking around.
She said "Do you want me to tour you around?"
He stopped and finally met her gaze. "No. You're right. I was here for a serious business."
"What was it about? Do you want some tea?"
"I won't be here for too long so no thanks.", he said as he sat properly. He turned his body towards the lady and said "Rebecca, do you remember the last time I went here?"
She bowed her head and uncomfortably played with her fingers. Something a guilty person would act. She said "I'm sorry for giving you the wrong information."
"Did you lie to me on purpose?"
"There's a misunderstanding here. I didn't expect you to be looking for them that day and to be honest, I wasn't expecting you now either."
"I'm here now. Tell me where they are."
"Don't you think this is all coming too fast?"
"I don't want to stay longer in this place. It's hot. It's crowded. It smells like children's piss!"
"If you're going to talk like that, please leave."
"Tell me why I shouldn't talk like that? That is how I remember this place. A burning hell in disguise."
"How dare you spit those words out? The people here took care of you!"
He laughed then changed his facial expression abruptly. He looked mad.
The look they all were scared to.
"Where are they? Are you hiding them from me?"
"We just want to ensure both parties' safety."
"Safety?!"
"Jorge, please calm down and let's not talk in a hot-headed manner. The children might get awake."
"I will not calm down until I know the truth!"
Someone came out of the children's room. She looked scared and worried at the same time. She said "What's going on here?"
Rebecca said "Denise, how are the kids?"
"They heard you. I told them not to go out. What's happening?"
Denise looked at Jorge. Jorge didn't greet her.
Rebecca said "Jorge, do not terrorize the kids."
"I did not come here to terrorize anyone! All I'm asking is where are my parents!"
She composed herself, breathed out and said "They were not ready to meet you back then. That's why they told me not to tell you where they are."
"What do you mean not ready?"
"They had their personal struggles before."
He scoffed haughtily. "Personal struggles? I see..."
No one talked after.
Jack stood up and said "Are they hiding from me?"
"We cannot answer that. But we will surely contact them and tell them you came here again and we'll see about what they will do."
There was a momentary flare of anger in his face. "You will contact them? How in the world can you contact them and I can't?! Give me your phone!" He walked around the reception bar looking for a phone.
Denise called the guards as they held his arms but Jack shove them away.
"Get your filthy hands off me! You pathetic pieces of shit! How could you keep on running this orphanage without even an ounce of conscience! You immoral cunts!"
Rebecca said "Jorge, we already asked for forgiveness for what the past has brought you."
The guards arrived. But Rebecca forbid the guards to touch him this time.
Jack yelled "Tell me where they are and I'll leave!"
"We said we will tell them and we'll follow up to you with an update. For now, we are not certain about where they are. It's been so long since we contacted them and it was years ago when you last came here so we thought you didn't bother finding them anymore."
He was hushed to that.
He turned around and said "I don't even know why I came here. But every time I do, I was always reminded why I cannot forgive you all for what happened."
"Jorge, you have everything now. What more can the world possibly owe you?"
He faced them and nerves started to pop out on his forehead while he said "The truth! The reason why! And you all keep me from getting that! Do I have to kneel down?! Kiss your shoes and beg, oh please, please tell me where my mom and dad is, I want to know." He mocked a crying kid. "No! You are not getting that. And I think what's happening here is that you keep them away from me because you're all afraid I might sue you to shut down this organization once I got what I want!"
"We never wished you anything but a normal and happy life after that. We never had a bad intention for keeping your parents away from you, but we would rather let them talk and tell it to you themselves, rather than speaking about it on their behalf. I hope you understand, Jorge."
"So you knew something, all along?! And you tricked me that they were at the Home for the goddamn old people?!" He shouted with a deep and gravelly voice. "You never had to live with the confusion of why you were abandoned and why you're not allowed to see them! I did! And you! All of you!--never suffered the way I did!"
"Jorge, please keep your voice down."
"It's a simple question!"
"We don't know where they are! If you want us to help you with this matter, keep your voice down and let's settle with a fair agreement."
He was out of breath. His jaws are hardened by wanting to open his mouth and speak one more word but he fought against himself to.
She said "You are not the only one who is confused! You are not the only one who is abandoned! Those kids inside the rooms-you think they know why their parents left them? Do you think they don't miss them and cry every night, hungry for their mother's touch? Do you think they don't ask why this had to happen to them?"
Her eyes got teary all of a sudden. "They will grow up without their biological parents but one thing for sure, we will not let them grow up the way you did."
His eyes exposed his hollow core. He leaned closer to her face to deliver his words with more impact. "I will never give you the satisfaction of forgiveness nor the gratitude you wanted me to give. So stop that drama, Rebecca. You make me want to vomit."
He walked away, pushing aside the guards out of his way.
"Get the fuck out of my way! You stinky pricks!"
He audaciously went out of the orphanage and climbed into his car. He drove hurriedly for the meeting. He was late and now it's even worse because he's ill-tempered. He's always been mad towards this subject.
He never liked it when he doesn't get what he wants.
He poured his anger by honking in every car in front of him so that they would get out of the way, hence, arrive quicker to the venue of the dinner meeting.
Left in the orphanage was Rebecca and Denise, concerned to what just happened.
Denise ordered the guards to go back to their respective areas.
The lobby was only lit by a single lamp because of their lights off period. It was very dark and silent when the night got deeper.
Rebecca sat on a chair.
Denise patted her shoulder and said "Though I'm not really sure about what happened. He seemed furious."
Rebecca explained to Denise, a new volunteer in the orphanage, about Jorge's history with them.
"Her mother came here and gave him to us when he was a small child. She said he started showing red flags at 4 years old. I think this brings up another issue, that no one wants to admit that your child is a monster. She refused to bring her child to therapy and instead left him here. We can clearly see something is wrong with him."
"You said red flags... what about it?"
"He broke his playmate's arm and he's not even sorry. He usually doesn't talk much. He liked to be left alone by his own. He doesn't even smile."
"Every kid has a shallow effect. They lack empathy. They lack morals. They lack impulse control."
"Her mom surrendered him here because she said she wanted to protect him and then she didn't tell me why."
"Then what are the strange things you noticed about him as you said earlier?"
"We thought he's mad."
"Mad? Like crazy?"
"Psycho."
"How can you say so?" She felt the hair from the back of her neck rose.
"He watched some of the kids as they play while he's holding a pair of scissors like he's ready to stab someone with it. But when we talked to him about it, he suddenly acted harmless. He was an outcast within the group of children here before. He just liked to observe and sometimes with a very creepy behavior. He acted more and more strange as he grew up. He barely exhibit different kinds of emotions."
"Psychopaths are just adults that didn't develop their pro social personality during childhood, so that explains. And I believe that psychopaths still can showcase emotions. I think there was something wrong with the parents or the situation that's why he acted like that. Never have I heard of any case of sadism where the victim had a normal healthy childhood."
Rebecca didn't respond and she sat still. She started to sweat.
It was very silent and only the ticking of the clock was the sound that could be heard.
Denise said "I just had a slight background of how it works before I enter here as a volunteer so I'd know what I'll potentially be dealing with. Orphans have different back stories so I ought to study about possible traumas as well."
Still, Rebecca didn't answer. She fan herself as she felt too hot.
Denise asked, "Are you okay?"
"There is... something that happened before all that--But we kept it as a secret."
Denise sat beside Rebecca's chair and moved closer to hear.
They talked with a lower voice.
"You've mentioned about sadism... I think something happened to that man when he was a kid which damaged his mind even more."
"What could it be?"
Tears fell from Rebecca's eyes and it formed an endless stream like a river flowing down her cheeks. Denise was surprised.
Rebecca said "I saw it. I was aware and I didn't do anything."
"What happened?"
"The owner of this orphanage came here from time to time and he had kept an eye on Jorge since he was the odd one of all kids. He didn't talk. He didn't play much. He just liked to stay in his room if he's not in the mood to go out and watch. It was one day I saw him go out of Jorge's room and Jorge wouldn't stop crying.
He took advantage of Jorge's quiet nature. I was about to call the police but he threatened to shut the orphanage down and lose the home of all the children here. I cared more about the mass of children. I was forced to remain quiet about it. It happened every time he visits this place. He died of a heart attack after a year.
The pedophile was finally dead as he should be! There was never a moment in my life that what happened didn't haunt me. I could have done more to save him. I could have done more."
She sniveled while her hands shake.
Denise couldn't believe everything. She was in shock that she wasn't able to say a word about it.
She connected the events in her mind like a puzzle. She realized that Jorge's hatred towards the orphanage was very fair and reasonable.
She understood why he can't forgive Rebecca just like what he said lately. He just wanted to see his parents despite his dark past. Maybe he wanted to set things right. Psychopaths can feel emotions too and knowing he came back looking for his parents again, she thought that he was definitely up for a change.
She wished him the best of finding what he's been looking for.
Meanwhile, Jorge just arrived late at the hotel restaurant where the meeting was held. No one else was in the table...
...except Morrie.
He was surprised to see her there. He saw her bare back from the backless blouse she's wearing. She stood up, carrying a coat with her, which looked like what she wore from the meeting.
She turned around and was about to go out of the restaurant when she saw Jack standing by the door.
She stopped but her face showed no reaction.
Jack said "Am I too late or am I too early?"
She walked past him and said "You owe me one."
She acted so cold. Jack followed her as she continued walking.
"How did you know I have a meeting?"
"I'm the designer slash assistant secretary. I'm mindful about everyone's schedule. I should know."
"Where is Alice?"
"You should just thank me I saved your ass back there. You weren't there. Alice wasn't around either, so I had to be the proxy."
"Thank you, but can you stop for a minute." He pulled her hand to stop her.
She looked back and faced him with a straight face. She looked grouchy.
He said "What happened to the meeting?"
"It was successful, although quick. They were very excited to work with us."
"I can never thank you enough tonight. I'm sorry I was late. I really was about to go but I just came from-"
"Doesn't matter." She turned around like she didn't care about his excuses. She kept walking through the empty hallway.
Jack chased her. He hurried to stop her by standing in front of her.
She said "Out of my way."
"Morrie... Listen, I'm sorry about what happened before." He looked at her luscious lips that looked so appetizing then her whole face next. She looked different from what he remembered her to be. She was wearing less make-up and her skin looked soft like the inside of a rose. The feeling finally came to him.
He missed her.
She looked into him as if she knew his desires. It had always been written in their gaze. It doesn't do to let someone with an ego like his know how much power he has.
Not a word spoken by either one of them.
Then he felt a sudden craving for her touch once more. He cupped her face in his hands and gave her what he knows she wants.
With the kiss came the smooth touch of her body, poised, just the right blend of relaxation and tension.
He pulled away and said "We can check-in." He held her hand and brought her to the reception area to book a room.
Morrie never said a word until they're inside the room. Jack contrived a way for them to be alone, a chance for their bodies to communicate without the need for words.
All previous thoughts stopped in their tracks.
Even before she touched, she felt his hands and her lungs expanded with briny air. He leaned in to caress her neck, slow and gentle. Morrie was just expressionless. The look in her eyes says that she is tired of everything, particularly of him.
His breathing hastened as his hand slithered toward her body, searching smoothly for the seam of her blouse to get rid of it. He began to lick her chest, drawing a line from her stomach to her lips, as soon as she was bare.
He knew that what they were about to do was wrong, now that he's in a relationship with Alice, but he wanted this. He felt guilty but he couldn't stop.
He clutched his hands unto her hips, leaning her in against his muscular body. She was weakened by his gentle seductive touch.
This night, he was in control and Morrie was under his command.
Jack took his clothes off, laid her down in bed and kissed her neck.
Morrie had never looked at herself so small until now. She knew and she heard it from his own mouth that he only wants her for that specific thing. She liked him. Liked him a lot.
She just wanted to make him feel okay. She's willing to be his night time when the day had worn him out. Even just for a moment, she can help him get past through his hard times. She felt sorry for herself at the same time. She was not hurt for how many times Jack returns to do their thing but she was hurt for letting him fool her more than twice. She knows by herself that no matter how long the nights they have for themselves, he will be gone in the morning.
He will never love her like the way she loves him.
She began to cry soundlessly while Jack was busy licking her upper body like a tasty dessert.
Her heart felt heavy. She was disgusted with herself.
She started to think that maybe she's really only up to that to all men. She will never be loved and will only be men's past time.
He was right.
Her eyes were empty as the tears come out of them. She just lets him do whatever he wants. She remained unresponsive.
She hated herself for being like this.
Jack didn't even notice her crying. She discerned that he never really cared about her feelings. So when Jack was about to remove her skirt, she stopped him.
She pushed him away, sat on the edge of the bed, wiped her tears and said "I can't do this."
Jack had zero idea. He said "What's wrong?"
Morrie picked her clothes from the floor, wore her bra and blouse next. She covered herself with her coat. She faced him, with no stain of tears in her cheeks. A look wherein you'll never know that she cried.
She said "We can't keep on doing this after all that."
"What? Morrie... come on."
"Jorge, you're a very insensitive person, you know that?"
"What's going on?"
"Let's face this as real adults. You can't keep on making me your decoy. We can't keep having sex and then pretend like nothing is going on. I think I deserve more than that. I may be a hoe in the past, but not tonight, not tomorrow, not anymore."
She stood up, ready to leave.
Jack stood up next and said "Morrie, please."
"Goodbye, Jorge."
She went out before he even says something, and shut the door.
Jack was left in the room. He punched the concrete wall so hard after she left. When his fist came in contact with it, he tried to shake the aching after effect upon the knuckles of his hand.
His face had become rigid, his jaw clamped tight, and his teeth grinding. He was so lost in the moment and the torment his brain was in.
He had always feeling rejected and unsatisfied. He was an emotional volcano with an erupting angst within him. He felt like a disappointment; a failure.
He grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He emptied the glass in one shot. He thought he needed the cold water to cool his head down a bit. But he remembered what happened from the orphanage and with Morrie. He didn't like the turnout of events. He felt like everyone was trying to get rid of him.
He knew he shouldn't depend on anyone at all because it'll be safer, and easier to choose to walk away but what happened was the opposite. He depended on people and now they're walking away.
It wasn't his plan. He hated that it had to go out of the structure he had in mind.
He threw the glass to the wall and the broken pieces shattered around the floor.
He screamed, "Fuck you, Morrie!"
He put his clothes on and checked out from the lobby exasperated. He paid for the broken glass but it wasn't what makes him fuming. It was just like paying a cent for a guy like him. A small amount of money won't bother him in any way. On top of that, his black card was never empty.
He drove back to his apartment, ate dinner and slept the night away.
He came to the office the next day, irritable, and ready to snap at any moment. He arrived like a dark cloud painting the blue sky grey.
He glared at everyone he walked pass through. It wasn't something new because he was normally like that before.
He always looked like a man of terror when he walks around. Never the one to mess with and everyone was intimidated by his presence.
Above everything, some events are inevitable, especially if requiring much need.
His assistant came to him with papers. He was catching up to his pace as he said "Sir, we need to book the conference room for our project meeting with the designers so they would do the visual presentation effectively with sufficient information."
He paused and looked at him. He replied with such truculent defiance, "Be specific with your objective. You're wasting my time!"
The assistant trembled just by looking at his defiant stare.
"We-we need your signature for permission." He presented the page he needed to sign.
He quickly signed and continued walking. He said "Lose the caffeine. You're shaking."
He looked around as he walked towards his office's door. He saw that Morrie wasn't around today in the office and caught Alice with wondering eyes that seem to be thinking of what is wrong with him today. He looked away as if to disregard her sight.
No one in the office approached him after witnessing his mood.
He looked overwhelmed and they thought that he must be busy putting out other fires that might even be bigger emergencies than theirs.
They were already sensitive about when to stay away when he doesn't look like he's in a good place to have a productive discussion.
He entered the door and stayed undisturbed inside his office for the rest of the day.
In situations like this, it is best to leave him secluded.
All that, because Morrie set him off last night.
But Morrie was on another errand today. She went to Joe's place. She knocked on his door and he opened after a few knocks.
He was astounded to see her. Her hair was tied and her cheeks are flushed from the cold weather outside.
Morrie was even more surprised to see Joe's grown facial hair.
She said "What happened to you?"
"You don't want to know. What about you? Why are you here?"
"I came to visit you because you were not around for days already. I got worried, so..."
"So you had to visit me on a weekday?"
She chuckled. "Yeah, I don't want to go in the office anyway."
"Now that's a good story to talk about." He opened the door wider, welcoming her to his house.
She spoke while stepping inside, "Do you live alone?"
"Yes. Is there a problem?"
She laughed and hit his arm. "No. Nothing."
"I might seem like a hopeless romantic to you now huh."
"More like a maniac." She chortled a bit. "What do you do here alone?" She walked to his sofa, put her bag down and sat.
Joe jested, "Watch something to fulfill my manly needs?"
He sat beside Morrie. They both laughed. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
They both looked at the show playing on the screen.
Joe added, "Sometimes I do it on this couch."
"Gross!"
He just stared at her disgusted but laughing face. He said "Kidding aside, why don't you want to go in the office?"
He looked keen about her answer. More serious now.
"I don't know... there's something that happened the night before and I am avoiding someone today."
"Is this sir Jorge?"
She was taken aback. "How did you know?"
"For the record, you suck at hiding things. And you are my friend, I know you."
"So you know what's up?"
"Ever since."
"Wow. I feel... relieved and... ashamed."
He chuckled and looked down on the table in front of them. His smile was slowly gone. He said "What you had broke off because of Alice, right?"
Her mood changed. A faint smile appeared on her face. Something in the middle of breaking down and fighting it.
She said "Yes." with discontempt.
"Funny thing about it is that was the reason why I wasn't around in the office too."
"You're saying you really had a thing with Alice?"
"No shit, what gave me away?" He blurted out sarcastically.
Morrie laughed. She said "I knew it! So in this case, Jorge was the reason to stop whatever is going on between the two of you?"
"Oh no, we don't do whatever you had with sir Jorge. I never took the chance."
"Then were you together?"
"Should be... but then that Jorge entered the picture."
"I don't get it. Then why are you here?"
"He suspended me. We... we kind of fought."
"Oh... alright. I got it now." She looked away and watched TV. She sighed and said "I can't believe it."
Joe did the same. He said "What?"
Their eyes were focused on the TV while talking to each other.
"Everything that is happening. Noreen... and me... and you... broken hearted like this." She laughed at herself after saying the last few words.
Joe shook his head and said "Some people are not meant for some people."
"Yeah..."
(TV show dialogues playing)
They both got silent. Morrie's eyes looked sad.
He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He was peculiarly conscious of his attractive friend sitting next to him. He couldn't tell her how beautiful he thought she was ever since. He could not for the life of him say. It was their friendship that got in the way.
Her arm was close to his. There's that static, that crackling in the air that always happen whenever two people with opposite gender got within a foot of each other.
Morrie felt Joe's awkward stance from their situation. She wanted to read his mind to see if they were thinking of the same thing.
Joe was the right blend of shy and sweet. She thought he was quite simply the kindest and most reliable person she met. She was never calm, more whole or more healthy when she was on his side.
BGM:
She looked at him and his eyes met hers.
Her gaze slid to the side. He pulled her against his chest. His nose tickled her ear.
She let out a tiny gasp and squirmed uncomfortably. She didn't like being so intimately handled by a friend.
She felt his lips softly graze her slender neck. Her face heated.
She summoned enough courage to meet his gaze.
His eyes twinkled. She knew he's trying to make her feel something.
They exchanged stares rummaging for answers for why they're feeling that way. A search for compatibility and comfort lead them to each other's arms once again.
Morrie submitted to Joe's warmth. Trusting him with every bit of her soul. Besides, Joe was less of an asshole than Jack. She had never felt a touch so gentle as Joe's.
He treated her so fragile that he won't let go as if to avoid her being dismantled. It was all new to Morrie.
They both came to a realization that everything will not be the same anymore after today, now that they're exchanging kisses.
They were aware of what they had but decided to jump onto the heat of the moment and give in to their desires. Both of them wanted to feel wanted.
While their lips are locked, Joe's hand traveled in between her legs and touched hers until she's aroused.
Morrie moaned a little. She said "Take your clothes off."
Joe hastily took his clothes off and Morrie returned the favor by touching his.
After a while, Morrie tossed her hair to her back and climbed on top of Joe.
They followed their senses and did it anyway.
They lasted for half an hour, easing out the pain they feel inside.
As they have gone tired, they rested beside each other with their naked bodies, some parts covered by the sofa's pillows, reflecting of the aftermath.
They did not talk for quite a while. Both of them just watching the show from the TV, still working on believing that it just happened.
Until Morrie picked her clothes and wore them back to her naked body. Joe wore his boxers and said "Morrie..."
"I have to leave."
"Morrie, don't let this get in the way between us."
"I won't. This is just fiddly."
"I didn't do it to take advantage of you. Just to clear things out here."
She chose not to say something back. She got her things and prepared to leave his house but Joe held her arm and stopped her.
"I-I think I need to tell you something.... It's about sir Jorge."
She slowly faced him and saw his serious face like what he's about to say was something vital.
She gulped and said "I have to tell you something too."
It was the look in their eyes that told them they meant the same thing.
In the intervening period, Jack was in his office and the phone in his table rang. It was his assistant.
"Sir, there's someone who wants to talk to you. They're outside our building. Can we allow them to enter?"
"Quit making me guess, will you? And tell me who they are so I'll know if I should let them enter! Jesus fuck!"
"Sorry sir, they wouldn't tell their identities and wished to meet you in person."
He rolled his eyes. "Tell them I'm busy and just come back when they're ready to reveal themselves. I'm not up for the thrill."
"I already told them to come back, sir. They wouldn't leave."
"Then let them freeze outside! Tell them I don't care who they think they are. If they wanted to talk to me, they will let me know who they are, it's that simple."
"Got it, sir."
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up to bend his neck.
"Stupid fucks."
Stressed by everything, he leaned on his chair and brushed his hair backward with closed eyes to signify his magnified stress.