"Byul-ah? Could you come here for a while? I need you to help me taste this kimchi stew. I haven't cooked in a long while and I don't know-"
Seokjin stopped abruptly when he felt Byulyi's thin arms wrap around his waist. He turned around and saw Byulyi, with her head resting against his back and smiled. "Why? Was work difficult today?"
Seokjin felt Byulyi's head bounce side to side on his back. "It's nothing. Let's just stay like that for a while."
Seokjin grinned as he stirred the kimchi stew with his wooden spoon. "You sure you don't want to try this?"
"Nope."
"Alright then," Seokjin turned the gas off, turning around to face Byulyi, wrapping her tiny hands in his big strong ones. He smiled sweetly, looking into her sparkling eyes with his own gently brown ones. "Why? Did something happen? Why did you suddenly come and hug me?"
"I just felt like it," Byulyi pursed her lips, hesitating slightly.
Seokjin just observed quietly.
"I just," Byulyi sighed. "I just don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."
Seokjin just stared at her, his eyes widening with concern. "How can you ever say that?"
"My grandma told me what you said, Seokjin," Byulyi couldn't look into Seokjin's eyes anymore, so she turned her eyes towards the ground instead. "About you wanting to marry me?"
"She told you that?" Seokjin laughed. "What... I told her to keep that a secret between us."
"But... you really do?"
Seokjin's facial expression turned serious. "I do, Byulyi. I mean- if you're willing to marry me of course, in the future, sometime, when we're graduated, and we're all settled down-"
Byulyi's face froze. "You really love me?"
"What are you saying?" Seokjin patted Byulyi's head gently, smiling down at her with the most gentle expression on his face. "Of course I do. Haven't I made it clear enough?"
"But why?" Byulyi frowned. "Why would you want to marry someone like me? I'm not that smart, I'm not that pretty, I'm not that kind either and the list goes on. I'm average at everything at best, Seokjin. Meanwhile, you are- you are..." Byulyi swallowed hard. "Perfect."
"Hey, hey-" Seokjin spoke gently, caressing Byulyi's face with one hand. "Shh- Look at me."
Byulyi looked up, biting her lower lip to stop herself from crying.
"I know we got together so quickly it could be difficult for you to process," Seokjin whispered, tracing Byulyi's cheekbone with his thumb lightly. "But I want you to know that I love you and you are literally perfect in my eyes. I mean, I am perfect but you are, too. Isn't that great? We match."
Byulyi smiled a little, momentarily distracted from her worries because of Seokjin's self-centred talk. But as soon as the humour died down, the frown came back to Byulyi's face. "But how? Why? How can you love someone like me?"
Seokjin frowned. "Something really did happen at work. You were fine earlier today."
Something did happen. Except it wasn't just today. It had already been going on for a while. A long, long while. Ever since the day she had taken up that part-time job at that restaurant.
"What happened?"
"A co-worker has been asking me what my plans were for the future," Byulyi began on a shaky note, hesitating to continue. But now was too late to stop. "And it was today that I realised I didn't have any."
"And?"
It wasn't like she wasn't used to it or anything. It was normal, she was fine. She was asking Byulyi about her plans all out of concern. It shouldn't bother her.
"It bothered me," Byulyi admitted with a sigh. "I don't have any hopes or dreams, Seokjin. I spent my entire school life struggling to keep afloat, thinking that one day, I'll eventually find something I'm good at. But I'm literally about to start my final year in about a month's time and no, nothing. I'm not good at anything, Seokjin. My grades are average, my looks are average, I have a wealthy background, I-"
"That doesn't matter, Byulyi," Seokjin laughed, pulling Byulyi closer to him and wrapping his hands around her waist so that he could stare down straight into her eyes. "You don't need to have dreams now. I understand that we're going to our final year and us starting a relationship right now might have put even more pressure on you somehow to find something you have a passion in, but-"
"That's not just it," Byulyi avoided Seokjin's gaze. "I just don't know why you'd settle for someone like me. Someone with no hopes or dreams."
"Settle?" Seokjin frowned. "Excuse me, young lady. I'm not settling for you so you should stop thinking that way. I don't love you for your grades, or your appearance, or your family background - I love you for... you."
Byulyi finally looked up at Seokjin, staring at him with her tear-filled eyes. "But what if, what if I never-"
"Shh-" Seokjin smiled. "You can, you will. I'll help you, Byulyi. We'll find something you enjoy. And even if you never find something you enjoy..." Seokjin grinned. "Don't worry - I'll raise you."
~
She wanted to look at him... but she couldn't.
It was hard for Jieun. Hiding the truth from Jungkook was difficult as hell. How she wished she could tell Jungkook the truth, but there was absolutely no way he would forgive her. And even if he did, there was no way she could forgive herself. To date Somi's brother... that was torture in itself.
Let's just say they both get over it. She dates Jungkook. There will be times when Somi comes up in their conversations, how will she respond? Then comes the time when Jungkook brings her home. She sees Jungkook's grandma, who also is Somi's grandma. How's she supposed to act around her? Pretend nothing ever happened? Just be merry and act like she wasn't the one who could have prevented her granddaughter's death... but didn't?
Let's get over this quickly, Lee Jieun.
Jieun willed herself to turn around and there he was, an absolute mess.
Gone was the golden boy Jieun had seen Jungkook transform into in the past few months they'd spent together. Gone was the same dazzling boy who smiled at her as they stood side by side on stage at prom night. Gone was her rock, her refuge, her pillar of strength.
He was crying.
Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook, whom Jieun had never seen cry before, was crying. Jieun couldn't help but think back to the time they talked about tears, about crying, about emotions.
Jungkook had said he'd never cried much in his life. Firstly, happy tears was a strict no. He couldn't understand why anyone would cry out of overwhelming happiness. As for sad tears, he'd admitted he'd cried twice in his life. The time his parents passed away and the time his loved one, whom Jieun now knew to be his beloved sister, had left him.
This was the third.
"I'm looking at you right now," Jieun felt like she was going to faint. Her head was dizzy from the lack of food and sleep, and her vision was blurring. But she could still see Jungkook standing right in front of her, bright and clear, sobbing into his hands. "And my answer is still the same, Jungkook. I just don't like you in that way, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."
Jieun fought the urge to just run into his arms. She wanted to console him, tell him she was lying, tell him she loved him and wanted to be with him, tell him to just run away with her, from all the events of the past, tell him to forget it all... Her heart was ripping apart and it killed her to not be able to let it out in the form of tears.
"Why?" Jungkook looked at Jieun with his puppy eyes that were dripping with hot tears. He was standing so close to her his tears were staining her clothes, but Jieun didn't have the energy to care. "Why, Jieun?"
"I-" Jieun's voice cracked. She pretended to clear her voice, hoping that Jungkook, in his sadness, didn't notice. "I already explained myself. Is that not enough?"
"No," Jungkook shook his head slowly, then with increasing intensity. "Nope, not at all. I need more. Help me understand. I really thought we had something, Jieun. Are you saying that all these past - what, five months we spent together, no? Nothing? The bracelet? The rooftop? The late night bus rides? The studying together? The rotten eggs? The-"
Jungkook's voice cracked this time on the last "the", an awful wail coming out in its place. A sound so heart-shattering Jieun thought she was going to crumble right then and there. But she didn't.
"Nothing," Jieun struggled to get that one, heartless, word off her lips. "Nothing at all."
"Okay then," Jungkook's expression hardened, as he wiped away a tear on his cheek. "I understand now."
Jieun frowned, her facade cracking a little. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"I was never okay to begin with," Jungkook's voice was now devoid of emotion, a small smile playing at his lips. It was the most painful smile Jieun had seen in her entire life. "You were the one who brought happiness into my life. But it's alright. Things will go back to normal. I guess this was all a dream that wasn't meant to be."
Seeing Jungkook cry had made Jieun weak in the knees, but seeing him pretend to be alright when he really wasn't was a full on blow in her chest. Stabbing her right in the heart would have hurt way less.
"Jungkook, actually I-"
"Goodbye, Jieun," Jungkook smiled, a stray tear falling down his cheek, which he wiped away immediately before he backed away slowly with his hands in his pockets. "I guess all this while... I was waiting for something that was never going to happen. Take good care of yourself."
~
"What?"
Jisoo waited for Taehyung to look at her before continuing. She had spoken what was on her mind, which wasn't likely for her, but with him, she just felt like she could be completely honest. He was her friend after all. Her good friend.
"Jieun," Jisoo laughed. "I think she changed you."
"Why do you say that?" Taehyung raised his eyebrows. "Wait - you didn't even know the me before Jieun transferred to our school. We hardly even talked."
"Just a random guess," Jieun laughed, leaning her body down against the railing. "I mean, we all change for the people we like, don't we? I changed so much because of your brother, I guess you would too, for her."
"I'm over her!" Taehyung laughed, looking out into the sunset to avoid Jisoo's piercing gaze. "I'm so over her. I've had enough, I already decided since a few days ago that I'm gonna give up! And I'm long over her, so don't worry."
"Jieun? Why's she calling me at this hour-"
"What? Why? Where?" Taehyung turned around, only to realise he'd been fooled. "I hate you so much, Kim Jisoo."
"You liar," Jisoo laughed. "You're far from over her."
"Fine," Taehyung sighed, burying his face in his hands. "I'm not over her, but I'm going to. I've decided to. And when I, Kim Taehyung, make a decision to do something, I won't give up."
Jisoo didn't respond.
"Jungkook and Jieun are probably already dating by now, for all I know. I mean, not like it matters to me anyway. I should start liking someone who likes me too from now on, shouldn't I?" Taehyung looked at Jisoo. "Hm? Shouldn't I? I mean, you should, too. We both should."
"Feelings can't be forced, Taehyung, that's the thing," Jisoo sighed, frowning at him. "We can't control who we give our heart to. If we had the choice, who wouldn't give their hearts to someone who loves him or her back? Don't you think so?"
"You're right," Taehyung sighed. "You're absolutely right. Ah, screw it. Why is it so hard for someone to love me back?"
Jisoo laughed, patting Taehyung on the back. "Ya. Don't say that. What's wrong with you? You're handsome, you're kind, you're interesting, you make people feel at ease, you put others before yourself, you're such an amazing guy, there's definitely someone equally amazing out there who's waiting for you. I'm the one who should worry, who would love someone like me?"
"What?" Taehyung frowned, patting Jisoo on the back as well. "What's wrong with you? You're amazing! You're pretty, you're good at studying, you have amazing fashion sense, you're kind-"
"I'm not kind," Jisoo interrupted. "I did horrible things to Byulyi."
"The fact that you knew those were horrible things shows that you still have a heart," Taehyung continued. "You could have done even worse things. Plus, you've already turn over a new leaf - ah! You're fun to hangout with, you're not awkward, there's probably some crazy amazing guys out there waiting for you to meet him!"
Jisoo giggled. "I love how it's just the two of us encouraging each other just because we're both single. Singles rock! Who wants a relationship? We're doing amazing alone anyway!"
Taehyung grinned, leaning over the railing and cupping his hands to his mouth, shouting at the top of his lungs. "I AM THE BEST!!!"
Jisoo laughed, but followed suit. "I, KIM JISOO, DON'T NEED NO MAN!!!"
"I, KIM TAEHYUNG, AM FREAKING DOPE!"
"I'M AWESOME!!! KIM TAEHYUNG, YOU'RE AMAZING TOO!!! FIGHTING!!!"
"KIM JISOO!!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!! DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!!!"
Taehyung and Jisoo were having so much fun, they went on for five minutes like that, thinking that no one could hear them, until-
"KIM JISOO-SSI AND KIM TAEHYUNG-SSI, I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU GUYS ARE BUT WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?!"
Jisoo and Taehyung ducked behind the wall, in fits of giggles that were mostly out of embarrassment.
"Wasn't that fun though?" Taehyung laughed. "I seriously used to do that everyday. But I guess, that was before they built these apartments around here."
"Oh, you bet," Jisoo laughed. "That was hella amazing. I feel like I can conquer the world right now. In fact, I think I'm ready to go talk to my parents."
"That's great," Taehyung smiled. "Let's go then."
The two of them got up to leave, when Taehyung's phone rang.
"Oh-?" Taehyung stopped in his tracks. "Give me one minute, Jisoo. Let me take this call."
"Sure," Jisoo smiled.
Taehyung reached into his pocket and fished out his phone and looked into his phone. His eyes widened.
Incoming...
Lee Jieun