Clary: A fresh start

Chapter 2

Today is the day. I am flying out to New York today. My mother is probably so upset to see me. I have to fly in from Louisiana, I am so nervous. Last time I saw my mother it looked like she was celebrating because she got my brother and my dad got me.
I want to see my fathers grave one last time before I leave and may never see it again. The words I made them put on his tomb will forever stick in my mind.
"Valentine Morgenstern, To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed."
He taught me that at the age of 6. He never approved of my boyfriends, "because it destroyed me." The truth was I never loved any of them. They were just my distractions from my shitty life.
3 hours till liftoff
I see my mom and brother in 6 hours. I'm so nervous because my mom never cared for me. Maybe she will now that I'm 15 and older. She won't be proud of me for getting involved with gangs or accepting that I lived in "the hood" but who the hell cares. She's to rich to ever understand the shit I had to be put through. It was join a gang or die. I chose gang and my dad didn't. I protected him. He was my responsibility on the street but once we weren't on the street it was a normal father-daughter relationship. Besides him hating me 1/3 of the time we were together.
I decided to stop a one of the restaurants in the airport and grab some food and a drink. The perks of looking older than you are is that you don't need an ID to drink. It also might be because i have about four bags under my eyes and haven't slept in like four days. I'm to afraid that one of the boys from the gang I left was the one who shot my father and he wasn't trying to hit my father, he might have been trying to hit me. It scares the shit out of me, going away might be the right choice.
1 hour left till liftoff
All I can think about is how my mother and brother will react when they hear my voice and how I talk. I developed a southern accent and I talk like I was raised in a gang. Everyone in my school knew not to fuck with me though. I may have be nice sometimes but if someone tried to say something bad about me or someone I cared for they would regret it. My dad tried to ignore the fact that I got into some pretty shitty things, when I went away with my now ex-boyfriend he pictured us going to the mall but we were really going to our gangs hangout and we got into some drugs sometimes. It was a mess. I was a mess. I am a mess.