Author note;
This was supposed to be something short and sweet, I had planned for it to be around five chapters. But the boys had other ideas and decided they wanted more attention, so it's ended up being a lot longer. And I mean a lot longer! :')
This is set pre BDS.
The title of this fic comes from lyrics, I caught fire- the used. One of my fav bands ever. I was listening to the song when this idea hit me.
'So kiss me like you did,
My heart stopped beating,
Such a softer sin.'
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Thunder boomed in the sky as the metaphorical heavens opened, the sky alight with flashes of lightning every so often. Lila ran as fast as her legs could carry her, her clothes stuck to her like a second skin. Of course she would get caught in this weather, she didn't know why she was so surprised at her misfortune when her whole life had been a shit show. Her first day back in Boston and she was already hating being here. She stood huddled under a shops tarp as she tried to figure out where to go next, her arms wrapped around herself like a protective shield from the rain. Her black t shirt and jeans were soaked through and felt uncomfortable, like she was wrapped in a blanket made of ice.
Lila had moved to Boston with her grandfather. She had been his live in help and carer for the past year since his dementia and lung cancer had took a turn for the worst. So when the man said he wanted to go back to Boston, she didn't feel like she could say no, and she had no intentions of not coming with him. She herself was born in Boston, her grandad was Irish and the Irish community here in Southie was booming. She was raised here by her parents, but when she was 10, her mother and grandfather decided to move to New York after her father was murdered. He was caught in the crosshairs of a mafia war, just an innocent bystander that was collateral damage. And as a result, she was left fatherless and heartbroken. She never wanted to set foot back in Boston after that, she wasn't stupid enough to think the mafia weren't still running things here despite the 11 years that had gone by. But her grandfather really wanted to come back here, the closest to home he could get since he couldn't travel. He knew he didn't have too long left, and she couldn't really deny him what was essentially his dying wish.
When they arrived, the small apartment they'd rented wasn't what she'd expected. She wasn't exactly well off and didn't have some fancy ass place back in New York, but this was ridiculous. The whole thing was like one big room, the only private bit being the bathroom that had nothing but a toilet and a sink. There wasn't even a shower. And then there had been the search for a part time job that she had undertaken as soon as they unpacked. She didn't want to leave her grandfather at all, but he couldn't work and she needed to earn at least some money in order for them to live. But it seemed no one was fucking hiring. Either that or no one wanted to hire her. And now, on her way back home, she was caught in a storm, and she fucking hated them. Loud noises as always scared her, sending her back to being a 10 year old girl and hearing the gunshot from the car as her dad was shot, walking back to the car from paying for gas.
She was soaked, cold and scared and she needed to get inside somewhere to wait for the rain to calm down. She hadn't expected the storm, if she did she would have worn a fucking coat. Her red wavy hair that she had inherited from her mother was luckily up in a messy bun, bar a few tendrils that framed her face, lest it clung to her head and make her look like a drowned rat. She really fucking hated storms. She saw a sign across the road for a pub and she made a mad dash for it. It would be warm inside at least, and it was an Irish bar. She always felt at home there, her mother worked in one back when they lived here and then worked at another in New York. She pushed open the door and the warmth enveloped her, making her sigh with relief. She moved to sit in a booth and closed her eyes. She didn't even realise she was shivering, her clothes still wet and cold and the hair that fell around her face was dripping onto her. The warm air in the pub could only do so much to warm her whilst she was still wearing them and piss wet through.
She sniffled a little and hoped to God she wouldn't come down with a cold from being caught in the rain. She seemed to get sick at every fucking chance and it made her life that much harder. She was in her own world when a blanket was suddenly draped around her and a shot of whiskey placed in front of her, she looked up shocked only to find a pair of piercing blue eyes looking at her.
"Ye looked cold love." The man said with a boyish smile, looking almost innocent despite his smoldering looks. She blinked at him for a minute like the cold had made her brain malfunction a little. He had dark brown hair and was dressed in a black t shirt that stretched across his broad shoulders and a pair of jeans, almost mirroring what she herself was wearing.
"Uh...thanks." She replied, still looking a little confused. Since her life was mainly looking after her grandfather now, she had almost forgotten just how it was to be in an Irish pub. The people in New York were so closed off, the opposite to how they were in this little Irish community here in Southie. He chuckled a little and shifted on his feet, looking like he wanted to sit in the booth with her but was fighting against the urge. Maybe he was waiting for her to offer, not wanting to just impose himself on her, but she couldn't find it in herself to ask him to, she wasn't really in the mood for company.
She wasn't really sure what to say, she was cold and miserable at her failure to get a job and she was worried about her grandad being back home alone whilst she was caught out in the storm. When she didn't say anything else, the man gave her a nod with a small smile before returning to sit at the bar, next to a guy wearing the same clothes but with dark blonde hair. The blonde was looking at her and he looked almost concerned and she wasn't sure why it unsettled her. She turned away from them and downed her shot, welcoming the warmth that spread through her body as she did. The men kept looking at her every so often as they spoke in hushed tones but she ignored it. If she learnt anything from coming from an Irish family and having a mother that worked in Irish pubs, it was that they looked out for each other, it was one of the reasons she chose to come inside here to get warm and not anywhere else.
A few minutes passed before the barmaid came over, she looked around 40 with dark brown hair with a few grays mixed in. She had a kind face as she came over.
"Can I get ye anythin'? Some food or somethin'?" She asked with a warm smile. Lila wondered just how bad she looked if everyone seemed so concerned about her. She knew she was soaked through and she could feel her body trembling pretty bad, but she hadn't caught a glimpse of herself and she wasn't sure she wanted to with how everyone was acting.
"I'm okay thank you. I just need to wait for the storm to pass." She replied with a small smile of her own, but it didn't meet her eyes.
"Do ye need te call anyone? We have a phone ye can use." The woman offered politely. Lila thought about it, it would be good to check in with her grandad and make sure he was okay.
"Yeah, thanks. I need to check in with my granda." Despite the fact she was born in Boston, her parents were both Irish born and bred. Lila didn't have an accent yet she still said the same terms the Irish used as a result of her Irish upbringing. The woman could tell she had at least some Irish in her, her hair was a dead giveaway and her pale skin. The woman nodded and led her to the phone behind the bar and Lila followed gratefully, the blanket still wrapped around her.
The phone wasn't exactly private, it was right behind the bar and next to the man who had helped her earlier and his friend. They were both watching her curiously and it was making her slightly uncomfortable as she picked up the receiver and dialed her grandfather's new number. She knew the men wouldn't be able to hear the whole conversation and she hoped the lull of conversation in the bar was enough to drown out her side of it too. After a few rings, her grandfather answered.
"Hello?" He asked gruffly, making her grimace a little. Her grandfather was always a lovely man, affectionate and happy. But since his condition got worse he started getting angry, a short fuse. His confusion made him mad and she felt sorry for him. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like to forget things like he did, important things and people.
"Granda? Are you okay?" She asked softly, her hand clutching the receiver tightly. She knew when he sounded like this he was having one of his moments.
"Who the fuck is this?" He barked at her. Her heart squeezed a little, she would never get used to having to deal with this.
"It's Lila granda, your granddaughter, remember?" She prompted softly, sometimes that was enough to make him remember and snap out of it, but as time went on it was getting harder and harder to do it.
"I don't have a granddaughter! Are ye takin' the piss? Who is this?" He growled angrily, making her bow her head and inhale a shaky breath. It didn't matter how many times she went through this, every time he forgot who she was and acted like this towards her, it hurt like hell. She felt tears stinging her eyes and she tried to summon the courage to answer him.
"I just told you granda, it's Lila. Your daughter Mary's daughter. I live with you remember? I take care of you." Her voice wobbled as she spoke, betraying her at how upset she was getting. There was a long silence on the phone and she wondered if he was even still there.
"Aye...Lila...where are ye? Shouldn't be out in a storm lass." She breathed a sigh of relief and sniffled a little, a mixture of the cold and the pain expanding in her ribcage.
"I got stuck in the rain granda, I'm waiting it out in a pub. I'll be home soon okay?" She said softly as she wiped her eyes. She knew despite the fact he currently remembered her, once she got home she would have to go through it again. It was never ending and it was getting harder for her to deal with. The 21 year old girl hadn't ever expected to be caring for another person like this, to have to watch them deteriorate before her very eyes. The man had raised her after her father had died, it was killing her to see him like this.
"Alright, be safe gettin' home Delila."
"I will granda. Love you." She wiped her eyes again and bit her lower lip with a sigh.
"Love ye too." With that, he hung up.
Lila put the phone back and heaved a sigh, she could feel eyes on her and she glanced to her left to see the same two men watching her sympathetically and she fucking knew they had heard her. She looked away feeling weak and pathetic for being such a mess and walked back over to the booth she had been sitting at. Ten minutes later the rain had calmed down enough and she knew she had to go before it picked up again. She stood and folded the blanket neatly, bringing it with her empty shot glass to the bar and handing them to the barmaid from earlier. The woman gave her a warm smile before she slipped out of the door and made her way back to the tiny apartment that she now shared with her grandfather.