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♡Chapter dedicated by the beautiful and talented duchessoftheclouds♡
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I took my apron off as I sighed, staring at the letters in front of me. Why was being an adult so difficult? Why did it feel like as soon as you reach the double digits in your age that life seems to change?
Life is all about change, even though we love to deny that we haven’t changed. We all love to say that we've has this mentality from a young age. Doesn't mean it's true, thought. I think we all have encountered troubles in life that have changed our mindset and made us smarter.
The sad reality is we all acted stupid at one point.
But now, it's time to grow up. Some grew up faster than others. And those others still haven't seemed to grow up.
“Why are you stressing yourself out, dear?”
I shook out of my daze and stared into Betty's blue eyes.
“Just some university letters.” I said, looking down at all four of them.
“Have you opened them?” She asked, looked down at them.
I nodded.
“So…?”
“I got accepted to all four,” I said.
“That's wonderful! I'm so proud of you, dear. Always knew how smart you were.” She exclaimed, coming towards the counters and hugging me tightly.
“Thanks, Betty.” I smiled, hugging her back.
“Now want to tell me what's really wrong?” She asked, leaning on the counter.
“I didn't expect getting accepted to all of them. You know when I moved here, Betty, I told myself that I'd go back to Toronto after high school and attend university there. But look at me now… I have a life here, too. I don't know how I can just leave everybody and go back.” I said, feeling overwhelmed.
“Oh, dear,” she said, holding me in her arms.
“I know that you love your friends a lot. But you must know that this decision that you make shouldn't be based off of your friends. You must make this decision based off of where you will succeed the most. Where you'll be the most happiest. Your happiness should be number one priority.” She said, stroking my cheek.
I nodded. “I know, it's just so hard to put myself first when so many people are counting on me,” I said, looking down.
She lifted my chin gently. “If they really are your friends, Madina, they will respect your decision. And plus, they will have their own decisions to make about where they attend. Yours shouldn't be such a big burden.”
“Yeah…” I said, taking a deep breath “What about Bryson, Betty? How can I just leave so easily? He will probably hate me forever.”
“He won't hate you, Madina. If this young man loves you, he will allow you to go. The distance will either make his love stronger towards you, or it will make both of you go separate ways. Don't rush things, love, God always has another plan.” She said, squeezing my hands.
I smiled slightly. “Thanks Betty, this helped me with my decision,” I said.
Inside, I knew I was still confused. But her wise words did help the jungle in my mind.
“I'm glad dear. Now get out of here, your shift is over,” she said with a big smile.
“Right,” I said, grabbing my bag.
I went to the back and changed out of my uniform. I shrugged my hoodie and skinny jeans on, wishing I was in my pajamas at the moment.
We are in public, Madina, the bags under your eyes are embarrassing enough. Let's not being Pj's into this situation, I reminded myself.
“Bye, Betty!” I yelled, opening the door.
“Goodbye, dear!” She yelled back from the back of the store.
I was excited to go home until I remembered that Majeed took my car today to his job interview. Something about how he didn't have enough time to do the oil change on his own car. For a son of a mechanic, he sure was lazy when it came to cars.
I didn't mind walking. Improving my cardiovascular system made me feel empowered. But I've been up from 6am, and now it's almost 3pm; I think I deserved to drive home.
I walked out of the shop and looked up from the ground.
My eyes widened as my lips turned into a smile. A genuine smile. Not a forced one. A type of smile that I wouldn't have noticed until someone pointed it out.
I saw Bryson leaning against his blue Corvette. Sun glasses, jeans jacket, and black jeans that hung low on his waist.
His smirk stretched when he saw me staring at him.
It felt good to know he could drive his car again. I know how much it hurt him when I would drive him around. You see, Bryson over here is the dominant one. He likes to be in charge. He will put me in charge to make me happy, but in reality, he is still in charge by putting me in charge.
That was complicated…
Just like our relationship.
I took a couple more steps towards him, the sun making him look like a fallen angel from heaven.
“Do I know you?” I asked, keeping a good distance between us. “I just caught you staring, sir, and I thought I should ask.” I said, crossing my arms with a sly smile.
“Maybe this will help you remember.” He said, grabbing my arm and pulling me close to him.
I let out a shrieking sound when he pulled me close to him. My hand landed on his shoulder as I looked up at him.
Bryson took off his sunglasses as he stared down at me with his peculiar blue eyes. His blue orbs shined a deep blue, never leaving my own brown ones.
“Do you remember me now?” He asked.
I wanted to make a snarky comment back and embarrass him a little… but I couldn't. His eyes had me in a trance that had me twirling around with them.
My lips parted as my heartbeat was increasing, and my throat feeling the Sahara desert.
“Okay, love birds, let's get rolling.” I heard Dylan's voice.
I snapped out of my daze and saw Dylan's head poke out of Bryson's car window. Then, I saw Aadila waving from behind Dylan's big head.
“What are you guys doing here?” I smiled widely, pushing Bryson out of the way as he groaned.
“Ask Prince Charming over here, he planned everything,” Aadila said.
I turned around and faced him again. “Oh, now I remember you now!” I said to Bryson.
“I can't deal with them, they're so weird,” I heard Dylan say.
“You're crazy,” Bryson said, opening the door for me.
I smiled, holding the door from the other side as I faced him. “Tell me something I don't know.”
His eyes lingered down to my lips as I snapped my fingers in his face. “Eyes up here.”
He snickered and ushered me into the car.
Bryson got in as well as he shut the car door.
“Can I know what's going on?” I asked.
“It's a surprise,” Bryson said, starting the car.
“I hate surprises.” I said, facing him as Aadila snickered.
“I know,” he smiled towards me.
“You're-”
That's when I heard a car pull up beside Bryson’s car. The window rolled down, I saw Chase looking at me with a cheeky smile.
My smile widened as I laughed when I saw the other windows roll down, revealing Dre, Evan and Stephan.
“These idiots are coming along?” I asked.
“Hey! Respect princess, that's all I ask for,” Evan said.
“Yeah, they forced me to bring them along.” Bryson said with a smile.
“I'm glad, this will definitely be fun.” I noted, turning back towards the boys.
“She has an evil look going on in her eyes, bro, I'm lowkey scared for my life.” Evan said, tapping Dre’s shoulder.
“You should be scared, good luck,” Dre said.
“Can someone please tell me where we are going?” I asked.
“Yeah of course, we are going to-” Evan began, but Stephan slapped his hand in front of his mouth.
“No!” Everyone yelled at the same time.
“It's a surprise, you f*ck tard,” Stephan said.
Stephan removed his hand immediately from Evan's mouth as his face morphed into a grimace.
“Did you just lick my hand?” Stephan asked, flailing his hand in disgust.
I couldn't help but laugh.
“Yes, don't you ever put your greasy ass hands on my precious mouth again.” Stephen said, wiping his mouth.
“You see what I have to deal with?” Chase said, with am annoyed face.
“Its suppose to be a surprise, so keep your mouth shut,” Dre threatened.
“We've been a here for a whole 15 minutes.” Bryson said, moving my head back so he could look at Chase. “Because of you dumbasses.”
“It's not my fault, I blame them,” Chase said, pointing to the back of the car.
“I'm just gonna ignore the fact that you compared me to Evan,” Stephan said.
“You should be honored to compared to me, I'm fu*king amazing,” Evan clarified.
“Yeah, okay.” Stephan said, rolling his eyes.
“Alright, I'm leaving, follow behind me,” Bryson said, clearly annoyed.
As the car drive began, Aadila and Dylan started arguing in the back.
“Lighten up,” I said, tapping Bryson’s shoulder.
He faced me with one hand on the wheel. He seemed to be out of his daze, because he suddenly winked at me.
“I'm good, Beads. I just want you to have fun today,” he said.
“What's so different about today than other days?” I asked.
“You've been stressed out lately, I can see it.”
“I have not been stressed out.” I said, waving it out with an ugly laugh.
“Yeah, and the world is flat,” Bryson teased. “I'm just tryna do something nice for my girl-” He looked at me glaring at him, “I mean my friend, I'm trying to something nice for my friend.”
“That's better,” I smiled.
“You've been through hell and back with me, and I know you deserve a day to just relax,” he explained, shrugging.
“Is it just me, or are you also suffocating in this car?” Aadila asked.
“No, I think it's just you,” Dylan said.
“They're so freaking cute, it makes me almost despise my best friend.” Then she gasped. “Does that make me jealous?” Aadila asked.
I giggled and looked over at Bryson, who was shaking his head.
After a long 10 minutes, we arrived somewhere I didn't know of.
Bryson drove up as I noticed a hill pulling the car in a sideways position. My eyes widened in excitement as the view caught my eyes.
“Brys… where are we?” I asked, leaning out of the window.
“We are at El Matador Beach, babbyy,” he said excitedly.
“No freakin’ way,” I said, staring at the beautiful blue waves and the big brown rocks.
“There's more, don't get too excited.” He said, chuckling.
“There's more!”
“I thought Beads was getting bored of the beach in our backyard; she needs a little spice in her life. That's how I thought of this beach, been here a couple times with the boys,” Bryson said.
“A couple times?” Dylan questioned. “That's rich people talk. Aadila, listen closely.”
“This is more than just spice, this is the hottest chilli in the world.” I said with a beaming smile.
“I'm glad you’re happy, Beads,” he said sincerely.
I tilted my head and looked at his cute man face.
“You make me happy, thank you.”
His smile dropped as he tried bringing me into one of his trances.
“This is what I'm talking about. I need someone to love,” Dylan said, fake-crying.
“There, there, we have hope you'll find someone who can put up with you,” Aadila said.
“That hurted.” Dylan said, eyeing her.
Bryson stopped the car on the cliff as I saw Chase parking right behind him.
I took my seat belt off, ready to get out of the car. Bryson held my seat belt as he stopped me.
“Let me open the door for you,” Bryson said.
I tilted my head. “Really? Come on, I got hands,” I said, flexing my hands in front of him.
He chuckled and put my hands on my lap.
“Remember all the times I couldn't open the door for you, and you had to open them for me. Just let me be a gentleman.” He grumbled, clearly annoyed.
“Fine, go open the door, Prince Charming,” I said.
“Thank you.” He smiled widely, getting out of the car quickly.
He opened the door and I got out, facing out.
“No, thank you,” I smiled.
He smirked back.
“Let's get going, love birds.” Chase said, walking forward.
“Calling us lovebirds is getting a little old, you know,” I said.
Everyone looked back at me.
“I'm just saying,” I shrugged.
Every step I took closer, my heart beat hammered more violently in my tiny chest. This was the best feeling. I wondered if became like this when coming here.
Maybe not.
But I guess I just appreciate God's creation.
“This is so beautiful.” I said, getting closer to the ocean as Bryson followed behind me.
“It really is,” he said from behind me. “I made a promise to myself.”
I looked over my shoulder at him. “And what was that promise?” I asked.
“I made the promise that if you remained in my life, Beads, I'd take you to as many beaches I could before I die,” Brys said, looking off at the waves.
I fully turned around and smiled weakly at him. “I'm not going anywhere, you know that?”
“Life always had other plans for us, Beads. But I really do hope God doesn't take you away from me.” He murmured, looking down at me with sincere eyes.
I nodded, looking down at my shoes covered with sand.
“I think beaches are our thing.” Bryson said, smiling widely, trying to lighten up the mood.
“Oh, beaches are definitely our thing,” I smiled.
“Come on, let me show you the rest.” Bryson said.
The group followed behind me as we walked further into the beach. I saw a little wooden table that got closer and closer. I finally noticed all the food and little snacks on the table. There were even lanterns set around.
“I know you don't like big gestures or anything, so I had to think outside the box. I thought maybe a picnic with your closest friends would be it,” Bryson nervously stated, shifting back and forth.
I stood there silent as I could be staring at the perfectly cut sandwiches and even the little umbrellas in the drink.
“Fuck… you hate it, don't you? I should've taken you to a restaurant, right? I was doubting myself, and I know you don't like tha-”
“Bryson… shh.” I said, effectively shushing him.
He swallowed the lump in his throat.
“This is so… thoughtful. So amazing, words can't even explain. Like, I'm just so shocked that you would do this for me.” I said, feeling my eyes water.
Yeah, okay, I was a little emotional today. But little things like this were a huge deal for me. Driving me from work to a gorgeous beach and taking your time to prepare a picnic because you know I don't like big gestures??
I think I'm winning over here.
“If I could kiss you, I would.” I said, still dazed from the ocean view.
The guys started laughing as I snapped back into reality.
Bryson smiled cheekily at me and shrugged. “I mean, I'm cool with it if you are.”
“Shut up,” I said, pushing him. “I wasn't thinking.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, rolling his eyes. He went in from behind me and whispered in my ear.
“You and I both know you fantasize about kissing me.”
Then he was gone, just like the wind.
“Let's eat!” Brys said as everyone hollered.
Ughhh.
Bryson tapped the seat beside him as I rolled my eyes and sat down beside him.
“Thank you though, I appreciate the hard work.” I said, patting his shoulder.
Bryson flexed his arm. “Ah, it was nothing, girl, you know me, always working hard.”
“It was more than nothing! Bryson was in the kitchen all morning cutting the crust off the sandwiches, without his mom’s help. I know, it's hard to believe.” Evan said, chewing his food.
I giggled and looked over at Bryson.
“I called the boys for help cause you know, I needed ideas on some things. Evan wasn't even moral support, he ate half the things I made.” Bryson said, shaking his head.
“Hey, I was moral support, don't lie,” Evan said.
Bryson looked up from his plate and stared dead into Evan's eyes.
“Jeez, bro, fine. I didn't help and I ate mostly everything. But you know. I think I still helped because when you’re angry, you work harder,” Evan smiled.
“Dre, shut him up before I smack him, bro,” Bryson said.
Aadila and I laughed, just looking at these idiots.
Bryson filled my plate with a bunch of different dishes.
I saw some mini tuna sandwiches, salad, chicken with some squash. Yes, there were kebabs.
“Umm, Brys…”
“Don't worry, it’s halal (permissible in Islam).” Bryson said, putting more food on my plate.
I just stared at him with a small smile, admiring this beautiful human being.
“That's a lot. I can't eat all that.” I said, looking at my plate.
“Woman, I've seen you eat more,” Bryson said.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Plus, I'll finish it for you if you can't.”
He saved himself.
After a good long group talk, we all went to see the sun set. I enjoyed this so much it was the true definition of being a teenager. Just enjoying life as it came at you.
I laughed as Dylan was trying to fit a whole tomato in his mouth.
I grabbed my phone to see if my mom got my text.
“The sun is going down, we need to take pictures!” Aadila said, running towards the ocean.
After a million photos taken, I had to remind everyone that Aadila and I had to pray.
After praying Maghrib, we all sat down in a row, staring at the waves crashing into each other.
Bryson sat beside me as Aadila was on my other side. Chase sat on the other side of Bryson, then Dre, Stephen, and Evan. Finally, Dylan sat beside Aadila.
“I can't believe this our last year.” Stephen said, breaking the silence.
“I know, right. Next year, we will all be split up,” Chase said.
“Do you guys even know what universities you wanna go to? Cause I'm lost…” Dylan said.
“So many offers, I can't even chose,” Bryson said.
I looked over at him.
“I'm going to Michigan for mechanical engineering,” Stephan said so nonchalantly.
“Oh my Allah (god), that's awesome, Steph!” I said, looking over at him.
He nodded with a smile.
“Yeah, congrats bro,” the boys said.
“That's awesome.” Aadila smiled.
Everyone was talking about their plans of what they had. How much money they had, how much more they needed.
I sat quietly, admiring the view, hoping it could take the heavy clouds away from my heart.
“What's wrong, Beads?” Bryson asked, nudging my shoulder.
“Just thinking about my university letters,” I said.
“Tell me about them. I wanna hear your thoughts.” He whispered, resting his head on his forearms.
“I got accepted to the four of them. University of California, Stanford, University of Chicago… and the University of Toronto,” I said, looking at him.
“Wow, beads. That's my girl. Smart and pretty,” he said, flicking my nose. “All those universities require a high GPA. I knew you had it in you,” he said.
“Thanks,” I smiled, blushing. “I could still get pulled out if my marks drop, though,” I reminded him.
“Don't say that. You're too smart to let your marks drop,” he told me.
“I guess you're right,” I said, playing with my fingers.
“So does that mean you’re staying in America for university or going back to Toronto? I remember when you told me you wanted to go back after high school in the beginning of the year,” Aadila said.
I sighed. “I don't even know anymore… things are different now.”
“But you're considering going back, right?” Dylan asked.
I swallowed the spit in my itchy throat.
“Yeah… maybe.” I said, looking over at Bryson.
I could see how his mood changes. His shoulders sagged and the blue in his eyes darkened.
“I'm still thinking though, you know? I mean, even if I go back to Toronto, I’m gonna still come and visit you guys.” I said, trying to lighten the mood by smiling.
Everyone looked upset with me. Evan didn't make eye contact, his humor was gone. Stephan looked at me with sad eyes. Dre smiled sadly as Chase looked at the ocean.
“You want to go back?” Bryson asked with a broken voice.
“I've thought about it,” I said. “Who knows, you might even wanna come to Canada and live in Toronto.” I said, smiling towards his frown.
“This is my home, Madina,” he told me.
“Well, Toronto is my home.” I told him.
“No, Cali is your home. Your family, your friends are here,” he said angrily.
“It's like you've forgotten where I've come from, Brys. Canada will always be my first home,” I said.
He clenched his jaw.
“I haven't made the decision yet, so don't get angry at me like that.” I said, looking away from him.
I felt guilty. So freaking guilty.
Could I go across the country and still make things work with Bryson? I've always told myself my education comes first, but I guess I never thought I'd be in this position.
Some part of me wanted Bryson to grab me and tell me that I'm not allowed to leave him. I wanted him to tell me that he couldn't live without me. To demand that I shouldn't leave him. Maybe then I would stay, because I'm so crazily in love.
“Wherever you are happy Dina, that's the place you need to be at. Even though it'll break my heart to know you're across the country, as long as you're happy and making your dreams come true.” Aadila said, resting her head on my shoulder.
“Thank you, Aadils.” I said, patting her head.
“I'm still thinking. Who knows what my decision will be?” I said sadly.
The ocean became silent. But the thoughts in my head were louder than any wave that could collide together.
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A/N
Hey/Salam!
I hope you enjoyed my little book babies❤ this chapter took a whole day longer than it should've but I hope you enjoyed it! Because that's all that matters:)
I can't say it enough but I love and appreciate each and everyone of you for always supporting and writing amazing messages that keep me motivated❤
QOTD: Will Madina stay or go?
Salam/Peace, Raz ✌❤