*Possible TW* (talks about a razor and blood) Please don't read this if you think it'll bother you. Love you. <3
After the long chat in the hospital room, the doctor decided it was good to discharge Camila. He saw no reason for keeping her any longer, so he sent them on their way. Camila was so thankful to leave that place, she hated hospitals, even if she was only there for one night. She wondered how she'd feel going back into her apartment, where the attempt had happened. She was extremely nervous about how she'd feel, but she knew Lauren would be next door if she needed anything.
Lauren and Camila got into the older girl's car and started on the short drive to their apartment complex. The younger girl stared out her window, not making a sound. Lauren figured she was just trying to process what she'd just been through, which was fine, she needed to think a little. The green eyed girl decided not to interrupt her thinking and continued driving.
When she pulled into the parking lot, the older one got Camila's attention to let her know they were home, "Hey, we're here." Camila just nodded and got out of the car, waiting for Lauren outside the driver's side door. Camila was playing with her necklace, a tell-tale sign that something was wrong.
Lauren got out of the car and stood in front of the younger girl, "You okay? You look like something's bothering you."
The brown haired girl quietly shook her head, not wanting to speak.
The older girl didn't take that for an answer, "I know something's wrong, what is it?"
Camila let go of her necklace and sighed, "I'm scared."
No kidding. Lauren could see the girl's hands shaking, "Scared about what?"
The younger girl got quiet again and spoke softly, her voice shaky, "I kind of...um...left a mess, in my apartment. I don't want to look. I c-I can't, Lauren. I can't go in there."
Lauren was slightly confused about the mess Camila was talking about since she'd gotten all of the pills and thrown them away, she wondered what she was talking about. She just wanted to help, so she didn't question anymore, "That's okay. You can stay in my apartment, and I'll clean whatever it is that you're talking about. Just let me know where it is, and I'll do it."
The young girl shook her head, "Th-the bathroom. I-I don't know Lauren. I don't want you to see. You're going to hate me."
Camila's hands started to shake more and her eyes grew glassy.
The older girl grabbed her hands to stop them from shaking, "Camila, I'll do it, okay? You don't have to worry about it, I've got it. It's not a problem."
Camila nodded her head and entered Lauren's apartment when they reached their floor. "Hey, don't worry, I don't mind doing this for you. Just rest, okay?"
With that, Lauren moved over to Camila's apartment and let herself in. She closed the door behind her and flicked on the lights, making her way towards the bathroom. When she got to the door, she took a deep breath and opened it slowly, turning on the light.
Lauren's jaw dropped when she saw what Camila was talking about. A razor was laying on the tile floor, surrounded with tons of blood and there were empty pill bottles everywhere. Oh my god. No wonder she was so dizzy when I found her at the door. Lauren almost wanted to faint at the sight, it was heartbreaking, the girl was really trying to kill herself. Instead of getting too emotional, the girl decided to go ahead and get the cleaning done.
She threw away all of the empty pill bottles. She didn't, however, throw away the razor. She knew what it was like to self harm. She knew that taking away the razor would only make things worse. She couldn't make Camila stop overnight, it wasn't that easy, and she knew that. There was nothing she could do to make her stop, she needed to help Camila get enough courage to talk to someone. A professional. She wouldn't break the news today, maybe next week. For now, she would just help the girl as much as she could and be there for her.
When Lauren finished cleaning the bathroom, she took all the garbage outside, not wanting the other girl to see the mess she had made. She closed Camila's apartment door and entered her own, where the girl was laying on the couch.
Lauren walked silently over the the girl and sat next to her, rubbing her shoulder to gently wake her. She could see tear stains on the girl's cheeks, she must've fallen asleep crying. Camila's eyes fluttered open and looked at Lauren, she could tell the younger girl wasn't feeling well.
"Hey, it's all cleaned up now." Lauren put her hand on Camila's thigh to let the girl know it was okay.
The younger girl nodded and sat up on the couch and scooted closer to Lauren speaking quietly, "Can I just stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone."
The older girl replied, "Of course you can." She pulled the small girl closer and let her rest her head on her shoulder. The two girls sat for a while, just watching random movies on the tv until it was dinner time.
Lauren sat up and rubbed her hand up and down on Camila's arm, getting her attention, "It's dinner time. I know you might not feel like eating, but you should eat something, even if it's just a little."
Camila said, "Okay" in a small voice and followed Lauren into her kitchen. She had to admit, she was starving, having only eaten one bite of a granola bar in the last two days. For some reason, she was terrified to eat, but she knew she had to.
She sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen and watched as Lauren made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lauren brought the food over on plates and began eating hers. Camila picked her sandwich up, studying it hard, deciding if she wanted to eat it. She was hungry, she really was, but she couldn't eat. She didn't want to. The younger one placed the sandwich back down on the plate and starting picking at the skin on her fingers, another nervous habit.
Lauren noticed this and looked over at her, "You need to eat something, you know? It's not good to go that long without food."
Camila nodded, she knew the girl was right. She bounced her leg and looked over at Lauren, "Laur, I can't. I can't do it, okay?" She pushed the plate away and rested her head in her hands, "I don't know why I'm so fucking scared of eating! I feel so stupid!"
The green eyed girl took the plate away and opened the fridge, "You're not stupid, Camila, but you still have to eat something. You can't do this to yourself, it'll make everything worse. Do you want something healthier? I have fruit if you want it. It's either the sandwich or the fruit, you're not starving yourself on my watch hon."
The younger girl sighed, knowing that she had no choice but to eat. She picked the fruit and cautiously ate it, squeezing her eyes shut while she swallowed, trying not to think about it. When the girls were done with their food, they made their way back to the couch. Lauren was laying back against a pillow and Camila was against her side.
"Hey Camila?" The older girl spoke up. "Do you want to talk about what I cleaned up in your bathroom earlier?"
The younger girl shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it. I'll- um-I'll show you, what I did, if you're worried. I just-I can't talk about it, not right now, at least."
Lauren rubbed the girl's shoulder to let her know she was listening, "You can show me, but only if you're sure."
Camila nodded, "I'm sure." The younger girl sat up and took some deep breaths. She hadn't actually seen the aftermath, so it was new to both of the girls. She rolled up both of the sleeves of her hoodie. On her arms were two vertical cuts, going from her wrist to the bend of her elbow, both of which had stitches. Camila didn't even know she got stitches, she'd refused to look at her arms until now.
The younger girl turned pale and felt hot tears running down her cheeks, "I didn't know it looked that bad. Please, Lauren, don't hate me."
Lauren stayed surprisingly calm, trying not to upset the girl further. She knew getting emotional would only make Camila feel worse.
"Camila, I could never hate you. You're my friend, my only one, at that. I'm just glad you're okay." Lauren pulled her in for a hug and felt her shoulder getting wet from the younger one's tears. She could feel the girl's body shaking from pure anxiety. "It's okay, Camila. Just breathe. I'm here." She continued reassuring the girl until she had fallen asleep with her head buried in Lauren's shoulder. With the room in complete silence and the warmth of the smaller girl's body next to hers, Lauren fell asleep shortly after, her arms wrapped tightly around Camila.
*AN*
Hey, sorry for all the angsty chapters. I swear the next one will have plenty of fluff and cuteness, no sad stuff. Thanks for reading, don't forget to vote. Love you, be nice to yourselves. <3
-Callie