This body should be mourned.
Iyong narinig kong sinabi ni Azrael. It doesn't take much to figure it out.
Matagal ko na itong naisip pero hindi ko masyadong pinagtuunan ng pansin. I already feel bad that I'm using someone else's body. Mas lalo lang akong magui-guilty kapag inisip ko na ninanakaw ko pa ang katawan ng taong wala na. She's already gone and no one is even mourning for her death because of me.
"I feel so guilty, Jakob," I confessed. "What if she can't get back because I'm in her body? What if it's my fault that she's..."
"Don't think that way," he gently said.
"What if she's really dead?" I whispered.
"Fabienne," he started. His soft voice felt like a warm sheet was wrapping over me. "We'll only frustrate ourselves if we worry about it when we clearly don't have the answers. Let's focus on finding the culprit and keeping you safe for now, okay?"
I nodded and forced a smile to assure him. "Okay."
Jakob walked me to my room before going to his own. Normally, I'd listen to the discussion and be a good student as a payment for staying in Kinsley's body but with all the endless questions buzzing inside my head, I can't even make myself pretend that I'm listening.
Ang dami kong gustong malaman. This time, it doesn't have to do with whoever tried to kill me. I want to know about Jakob's glowing eye. What is he? Because I know for sure that a mere mortal can't do that.
I want to find out more about the two entities that I heard. I wanted to know why I'm in Kinsley's body. Bakit hindi na lang ako ibalik sa dating katawan ko?
Lumipas ang mga oras na wala akong natutunan. I was halted from my mystical thoughts when I received a text message from Kinsley's friend. Sakto namang nag dismiss na ang professor namin sa harap.
Today 11:55AM
Pen:
Hey Kins, I'm here at the canteen. Sasabay ka mag lunch?
My mind quickly diverted to the murder case. I don't have a solid list of new suspects yet but I'm beginning to think that the killer might be someone who's close to Jasmeen or Kinsley.
The only solid clue I have so far is that the culprit is into instant camera and I can't ignore the fact that Pen owns one. Ever since I found out about the photos and the connection between Kinsley and Jasmeen's death, there's an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach whenever I'm around Pen. Lalo na nang makita ko ang instant camera niya matapos ko makita ang mga picture na itinago ni Kinsley sa laruan ni Nial.
Being around them is starting to give me the creeps but if one of them is the culprit then I have to act like everything's normal or it'd raise unwanted suspicions. Keep your friends close and your potential enemies closer and all.
At isa pa, wala rin naman akong makakasabay dahil ang sabi ni Jakob sa akin kanina ay may klase siya hanggang 1:30.
Madali kong nakita si Pen sa canteen. Nakaupo siya sa gitnang bahagi ng canteen. It doesn't bother her one bit that she's all alone. She's got earphones on and she was writing something on a notebook. If I'm right, that's her writing journal. Maqui was nowhere in sight. Hindi naman na ito bago dahil ayon sa kanya, his professor always dismisses their class on time.
Huminga muna ako nang malalim bago naglakad palapit. She was so wrapped in her own bubble that she didn't notice my arrival. Naalis lang ang atensyon niya sa ginagawa nang ilapag ko ang bag sa ibabaw ng lamesa.
Her eyebrows raised at the sight of me. She smiled and removed her earphones.
"You're here!" she happily stated.
"Hey," I greeted as I sat down in front of her.
She neatly rolled her earphones before placing it in her bag. I watched as she inserted the diamond studded elephant dust-proof plug on her phone. Sunod niyang itinabi ang notebook at tsaka lang ako muling hinarap.
"Kamusta? What's the latest update about you?" she asked.
I contemplated before answering. She looked genuinely curious. There's no hint of anything in her face. It's either she's really innocent or she's just a good actress.
"Natanggap ako ng swimming team," I offered the information.
"Really?" Her doe eyes widened in surprise. "That's good news, Kinsley! Congrats! Manlilibre ka ba?"
I managed to orchestrate a laugh. "Wala akong pera."
"Sus. Damot." Pen pouted. Nagpapaawa pa ang mga mata niya habang nakatingin sa akin. Ngumisi na lang ako. Her eyes passed through me. "Oh, there's Maqui na."
I slightly turned my body to look for Maqui. Agad ko itong nakita papasok ng canteen. May kasama siyang mga lalaki at mukhang nagkakatuwaan dahil nagtatawanan ang mga ito.
Maqui's eyes easily found our table. May sinabi ito sa mga kaibigan bago nauna sa paglalakad at mukhang sa amin papunta.
"Kanina pa kayo?" Maqui asked and took the seat beside me.
"Ako medyo. Kinsley just got here." Pen meaningfully looked at me. An evil smile curved on her lips. "She's gonna treat us lunch, by the way."
Umangat ang dalawang kilay ni Maqui at ngumiti. He curiously eyed me. "Really? What's the occasion?"
"She got accepted sa swimming team!" Pen excitedly exclaimed.
"Really? Congrats, Kinsley. Thanks sa libre." Maqui boyishly chuckled.
"Wala kaya akong sinabing manlilibre ako," ismid ko.
"Come on. Kahit juice lang," pilit ni Pen. "Ako na bibili ng lunch mo for you."
I heavily sighed. Hindi yata ito titigil hanggat hindi nalilibre. "Fine."
She cheered. Tumayo na ito agad. Tumayo na rin si Maqui para makabili ng makakain. I handed Pen the money and stayed behind in our table.
Paranoid na siguro ako dahil bigla kong naisip na baka lagyan ni Pen ang pagkain o inumin ko ng lason kung siya nga ang killer? If she's the killer, she won't attempt something like that in broad daylight right? She would easily be caught!
Just to be sure, I watched Pen's every move as she bought our food and the fruit juice that she requested.
Hindi nakatulong sa mga naiisip ko ang malaking ngiti niya nang bumalik siya dala-dala ang pagkain naming dalawa. It seemed like a killer's victory smile after doing the deed.
Kukunin na sana ni Maqui ang juice niya na nasa harapan ni Pen pero tinapik ni Pen ang kamay niya. "Wait! I'm gonna take a pic!" she said and searched her bag.
"Really?" Maqui grunted.
"It's a treat from Kinsley and she got in the swimming team. I'm sentimental." Pen rolled her eyes at Maqui. Nang ilipat niya ang tingin sa akin ay maamong ngumiti siya. She lifted the camera. "Smile, Kinsley."
Sinunod ko ang gusto niyang mangyari. My smile was brittle as I stared at the camera. Pen pushed the button and the photo paper began to come out from it. Nawala na ang ngiti ko. I was quickly reminded of the pictures that I've previously received.
Ibinaba ni Pen ang instant camera sa lamesa at pinaypay ang photo paper para pabilisin ang pagtuyo nito. Maqui shook his head in dismay again before taking his drink.
"Can I see?" I asked.
Pen handed me the photo. The print was still slightly faded but I can already see what the image would look like. At the corner of the photo, today's date was printed; just like the photos that I previously received and Jasmeen's photos in the box.
"You're really into this thing, huh, Pen?" I commented and handed her back the photo paper.
She grinned. "Well, you guys influenced me."
"Really?" my surprised reaction was genuine this time.
"Yup. May ganito ka rin before," sagot niya habang itinatago ang picture at camera sa kanyang bag.
Hindi ko na alam ang isasagot kaya tumango na lang ako at itinuon na ang atensyon sa pagkain. I eyed the food suspiciously for a few seconds before finally eating it. I paused and waited for a reaction but nothing happened. I decided to test the juice next and took a drink. I finally relaxed when my mouth didn't bubble after a few good minutes.
"Ano pala ang mangyayari now that you're part of the swimming team? Does that mean you'll be super busy with training?" Pen asked while chewing down her food and picking up her juice for a drink.
"I think so. Kailangan kong humabol sa progress ng swimming team. My stats are pretty average compared to theirs," sagot ko. "I'll probably be asked to do some solo training aside from the regular schedule. I'm not sure yet. Malalaman ko ang details mamaya sa orientation."
"Won't it be bad for your... condition?" si Maqui naman ang nagtanong.
I shrugged. "I'm physically cleared. Wala namang kaso ang amnesia ko."
Hindi sila agad nakasagot doon. They're really tiptoeing around Kinsley's amnesia condition. It's like a taboo topic. Pati nga sa pamilya ni Kinsley ay hindi ito pinag-uusapan. They're all acting like everything's normal. I thought it was for Kinsley's sake but now...
"Wala ka pa rin bang naalala hanggang ngayon?" Pen hesitantly asked.
I sighed and shook my head. "Wala."
Pen's shoulders slumped down. There was a small frown on her lips. Just a split second and she sat up straight. "Oh, well. We can take it as a good thing. You can start anew and make new memories, right?" she affirmed, then flashed me a positive smile.
"Her old memories are still important, Pen," Maqui stated.
"I know pero wala naman mangyayari if she's just gonna sulk about it. I think there's nothing wrong with changing perspective," Pen argued. "If life throws you lemon, make a lemonade. Isipin mo na lang binigyan ka ni God ng panibagong harddrive. It's a chance to start over, ganun."
I looked at Pen with deep regard. She seemed hell bent on making me believe her views. To start over. She unabashedly stared back at me and gave me a bright and uplifting smile.
"You have a point," I sensibly answered. I even nodded my head for affect. "Maybe starting over isn't a bad thing."
"I rest my case," Pen smugly said and resumed with eating her food.
Umiling si Maqui at ngumiti na lang ako. I looked at Kinsley's two friends. If I put the two of them in my new list of suspects, what would be their motive? Was there bad blood between them and Kinsley before? I should ask Jakob about this once we start with our investigation.
For the rest of the afternoon, I attended my classes and the orientation. Coach Haidee and Coach Eve welcomed me to the team and introduced me to the P.E. Department. Kahit na kilala ko naman na ang ilan sa kanila ay ngumiti na lang ako at bumati.
I was right. Aside from the two hours everyday training, they required me to add an afternoon training every Monday and Thursday to catch up. They oriented me about the standard procedures and the guidelines. Binigay na rin nila sa akin ang training schedule at member kit ko. Just a university towel and the likes.
Maagang natapos ang orientation ko. I was expecting it to end at six o'clock. Five-thirty pa lang. Jakob offered to drive me home but his class ends at six o'clock. Wala pa akong text na natatanggap sa kanya mula kanina kaya malamang ay nasa klase pa ito.
Today 5:31PM
Fabienne:
Hey... I'm done with the orientation.
I didn't expect him to immediately respond but he did.
Jakob:
Class be dismissed at 5:45. Can you wait for me?
Uuwi na ba ako o hihintayin ko pa sya? I pursed my lips. I want to talk to him about my suspicions anyway.
Fabienne:
Okay. I'll be at the café.
Alam niya naman na siguro kung saan 'yon. I picked up my bag and headed outside the campus. I yearningly stared at the almond drink on the menu before ordered the dark chocolate with a half-heart.
Nang makaupo na ako sa table ay tumunog na ang phone. I was expecting it to be Jakob but was surprised when I saw Silver's name.
Today 5:46PM
Silver:
Hey, are you still in campus? I need to talk to you.
My forehead furrowed.
Kinsley:
I'm at the café. Why?
Silver:
On my way.
Whatever it is, it sounds urgent. Does it have to do with his investigation on my case?
I made a face as I was reminded of that and how he's innocent in all of this. I believe I owe him an apology. He was my prime suspect after all.
"Fabienne," a warm voice called.
I averted my eyes from my phone and instantly saw Jakob who was standing beside the table.
"Hey," I greeted and kept my phone.
"Let's go?" he asked and looked at my bag. I can't read minds but I think he wants to carry my bag for me.
I grimaced at Jakob. I don't know why I feel hesitant to tell him that I'd be meeting Silver. Pakiramdam ko ay gumagawa ako ng kasalanan kahit hindi naman?
"Uhm... I meeting someone," I carefully said.
Kumunot ang noo niya. "Someone?"
"Uh, si Silver," I sheepishly replied.
His curious face was replaced with something serious. Medyo dumilim nga ang mukha niya sa pagkakabanggit ko sa pangalan nito.
"Why are you meeting with him, Fabienne?" he asked, annoyance hinted in his voice.
"Fabienne?" another voice joined us.
Sabay kaming napatingin ni Jakob sa sumali sa usapan namin. Medyo nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita kung sino 'yon.
"Silver," it was the only thing I could utter.
"Why are you calling her Fabienne?"