Sapphire's Review Store ๐Ÿ’™

By TreasureCommunity

61.9K 2.9K 5.2K

Hey there, gems! Are you looking for someone to review your work and provide helpful feedback so you can hone... More

Welcome!
FAQs
(Head) Reviewer: Sunshine ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Misty ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Aviva ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Joanna ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Olivier ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Shravani ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Rishi ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Ryan ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Eliza ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Gnome ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Hana ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Kristen ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Anjali ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Faye ๐Ÿ’™
Reviewer: Kanika ๐Ÿ’™
Waiting List
Form
Review Criteria (for reviewers)
Review by Sunshine: Reflection
Review by Sunshine: Wings and Claws
Review by Sunshine: Immortally Beloved: A Vampire's Vignettes
Review by Sunshine: The Portrait of Evienne
Review by Sunshine: In The Mornin'
Review by Painite: The Vampires of New York
Review by Tas: Billion Dollar Problems
Review by Sunshine: The Technologist
Review by Sunshine: Wickedly Yours
Review by Sunshine: Rose in a Heartful of Thorns
Review by Painite: Survival
Review by Sunshine: Golden Boys
Review by Tas: Meant For You
Review by Tas: Chills and Thrills
Review by Sunshine: The Sandman
Review by Painite: A Candle in the Wind
Review by Sunshine: Coming Home
Review by Painite: Hidden
Review by Sunshine: Falling Apart
Review by Sunshine: Northwoods
Review by Sunshine: Pilferer
Review by Sunshine: Face Your Demons
Review by Sunshine: Branded
Review by Painite: Finding Jules
Review by Sunshine: Wolf Child
Review by Painite: All I See
Review by Ayesha: Meant For You
Review by Sunshine: BOYS: Her Addiction
Review by Ayesha: The Brother's Curse
Review by Sunshine: I Kissed A Bad Boy
Review by Painite: The Lost Realm
Review by Sunshine: Revenant Reborn
Review by Ayesha: Stellar Lucifer
Review by Sunshine: Azure Memory: Nocturnal Moonlight
Review by Sunshine: A Time to Heal
Review by Sunshine: Hocus Lovus
Review by Sunshine: Simple Wish
Review by Sunshine: The Harvest
Review by Sunshine: The Betrayal
Review by Painite: Twisted Love
Review by Sunshine: Beyond My Expectations
Review by Painite: Hell's Bane
Review by Sunshine: All Too Well
Review by Painite: Mahogany
Review by Sunshine: Stones and Cyanide
Review by El: The Beauty of Pain
Review by Sunshine: Ruthanne Georgeson High
Review by Sunshine: Vlad the Impaler
Review by El: The Past is in the Past
Review by El: Restored (A Caleo Selection)
Review by Sunshine: Obsidia
Review by Danielle: Don't Let Me Love You
Review by Sunshine: Missing
Review by Painite: En Garde
Review by El: Prongslet
Review by Sunshine: Of Suns and Spirits
Review by Rrc: Spring Day
Review by Sunshine: The Prince's Heist
Review by Danielle: Cromulent
Review by El: Thoughts From Home
Review by Sunshine: Dragon Rider in the Modern World
Review by Painite: From the Heart
Review by Sunshine: Cupid's Little Game
Review by Lilo: Last Man Standing
Review by Rrc: The Fact and our Foibles
Review by Sunshine: Crazy Rich Dragons
Review by Sunshine: Snow Shadows
Review by Fatima: Knight Fire
Review by Sunshine: When Night Comes
Review by Fatima: Inside Falls
Review by Sunshine: Under My Wings
Review by Rrc: Across the Wildlands
Review by Sunshine: Irony of Fate
Review by Sunshine: Lucifer's Fall
Review by Rrc: Xalvandor
Review by Sunshine: Mystery of the Olds
Review by Lilo: Of Suns and Spirits
Review by Sunshine: Cee's Collection of Short Stories
Review by Lilo: Just Survive
Review by Painite: Irony of Fate
Review by Sunshine: Ruin Me
Review by Daryl: Stone of Chaos
Review by Rrc: Trapped by a Beast
Review by Lilo: Angels
Review by Danielle: Misadventures with Monsters
Review by Lone Wolf: 24 Weeks and A Day
Review by Claire: Of Suns and Spirits
Review by Rrc: The Victims Street
Review by Sunshine: Reborn
Review by Sunshine: Fallen For You
Review by Painite: Dreams of Escape
Review by Sunshine: Yours, Allie
Review by Fatima: Tag You're It
Review by Lone Wolf: Sixty Seconds of Sanity
Review by Lilo: Broken Kingdom
Review by Sunshine: The Cursed Prince
Review by Painite: She's Feisty
Review by Daryl: The Rise of the Shadows
Review by Lone Wolf: Psychic Detective Team
Review by Claire: Eye of Saffiyah
Review by Sunshine: His Queen Her King
Review by Rrc: For His Sake
Review by Lone Wolf: Without Me
Review by Sunshine: The Electra in Me
Review by Danielle: Scarlet
Review by Syd: Hearts
Review by Sunshine: Still
Review by Sunshine: A Little Death
Review by Daryl: Zeitgeist
Review by El: The Fae Hunt
Review by Lone Wolf: NinRai
Review by Lone Wolf: Unripe Souls
Review by Sunshine: Super Psycho Project
Review by Lilo: Silver as Glace
Review by Lilo: An April Sort of Place
Review by Claire: Beauty of an Assassin
Review by Sunshine: An Enchantment of Time
Review by Painite: The Guardians
Review by Danielle: Looking In
Review by Lone Wolf: Protecting His Mate
Review by Sunshine: Destiny
Review by Claire: Flares in the Dark
Review by Sunshine: The Tangled Princess
Review by Fatima: Letters to Manny
Review by Fatima: Signs of Hope
Review by Painite: Half Hope, Half Love
Review by Daryl: Beauty of Wrath
Review by Lone Wolf: Misunderstood
Review by Sunshine: All That We Lost
Review by Claire: A Second Chance
Review by Sunshine: Survive Another Day
Review by Painite: Everlyn and Derrick
Review by Lone Wolf: The Way
Review by Claire: Tempest
Review by Sunshine: The Elementalists
Review by Lone Wolf: Legend of Antalasia
Review by Sunshine: Cinderella
Review by Fatima: A Second Chance
Review by Daryl: Script [Forest]
Review by Izzy: Half Life
Review by Lone Wolf: Her Queen
Review by Sunshine: Blood Ink Muse
Review by Sunshine: Only Human
Review by Lone Wolf: The Original One
Review by Lone Wolf: Hot Ticket
Review by Fawn: The Day I Die
Review by Sunshine: A War of Fire and Death
Review by Sunshine: Be Still, My Heart
Review by Sunshine: The Stigmatised
Review by Izzy: The Battle Within an Angel
Review by Izzy: Spicy Sugar
Review by Sunshine: The Start of the Black Pandas
Review by Nathan: Dead Minds
Review by Sunshine: The Saga: Sucker for Pain
Review by Nathan: Tears Unnumbered
Review by Cherylene: Hearts
Review by Lone Wolf: VLAD
Review by Lone Wolf: Dream
Review by Sunshine: The Undying
Review by Tahsin: Hope
Review by Sunshine: Grendilton: Rise of the Shadows
Review by Nathan: Pressed Between the Pages
Review by Lone Wolf: Call of the Decads
Review by Sunshine: Anagata
Review by Cherylene: Hope
Review by Sunshine: Wicked Cindy
Review by Fawn: The Sea Thief
Review by Fawn: Meet Me in September
Review by Sunshine: Wattpad World
Review by Maryam: Last Man Standing
Review by Maryam: Bluebells and Hanging Ropes
Review by Nathan: Star Stuff
Review by Sunshine: The Book Keeper's Heart
Review by Tahsin: I Don't Trust You Enough
Review by Izzy: Midnight Moon
Review by Nathan: Ghost
Review by Izzy: Restless Thoughts
Review by Sunshine: Cold-Hearted

Review by Lone Wolf: An April Sort of Place

54 6 3
By TreasureCommunity

Book Title: An April Sort of Place

Author: Buttertech

Reviewer: GryffindorsLoneWolf


Summary: 2/5

The summary was really short and concise, which I don't completely have a problem with. You use unusual twice however, and within the three sentences there isn't much covered. Try introducing a couple of crucial characters, maybe build some suspense with a conflict of sorts. It doesn't need to be so short.


Grammar: 2/5

It felt like there were commas in every sentence, sometimes unnecessarily, sometimes not where they were needed. There weren't any tense shifts, but considering that the story's being told from the children's point of view, how could they have known what their mother sensed in the back of her head? Try to be careful of that. Also...numbers are usually typed out in stories/books. The numerical form isn't usually used, unless something is being referenced in the book that the character's seeing.


Character Building: 3/5

I didn't get to read much of the story, since there were four chapters...but there wasn't a lot of character building. It starts off talking about Ashi, then and then mentions how she lost...and then switches to Grandpa Nade. My suggestion? Cut the beginning chapters and start with Grandpa Nade's story. Or start off the book falling in the hands of the children currently, since a lot of importance has been put on the book (in the summary and the following chapters). Add more descriptions about the characters. We have no idea what they look like, even after four chapters. I do think it was nice, pitting the cautious mother against the stubborn dad, because it contrasted their characters well, so good job with that!


Writing Style: 3.5/5

There was a variation in sentence structure, but it seemed like I was reading the same thing over and over again. Minute details aren't really needed in flashbacks (when you look at the book overall); details about the surroundings, the way the family interacts with each other, those would be more interesting to read. Some of the shorter sentences could be combined into longer ones, and your longer sentences could be cut. Try not to word dump when describing; a few words about the scene or place is better than listing a bunch of words.


Plot + Uniqueness: 3/5

I didn't read much and because the chapters are short, I can't really comment about this. I do like how you started in the present and went to the past. But the shift was sudden, and for no reason to, other than explaining why the scavenger hunt existed...which didn't really get explained. How does this book concern the kids of the current generation? Does it fall into their hands? You've left me with more questions unanswered, which is good: you're keeping the suspense up. But add more descriptions, and tie it in to the present. It is a unique plot, and I like the premise of the story, how it takes place in a wooded area, and is set away from modern society. But add more descriptions. It's okay if the chapter is longer, unless you're trying to keep a lower word count per chapter.


OVERALL SCORE: 13.5/25






Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

294K 17.9K 40
You live in a different time zone Think I know what this is It's just the time's wrong
89.5K 327 20
My wlw thoughts Men dni ๐Ÿšซ if you don't like these types of books block don't report Pm me girls<3
53M 377K 65
Stay connected to all things Wattpad by adding this story to your library. We will be posting announcements, updates, and much more!
144K 7.6K 82
Being flat broke is hard. To overcome these hardships sometimes take extreme measures, such as choosing to become a manager for the worst team in Blu...