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Review by Claire: Of Suns and Spirits

82 10 2
By TreasureCommunity

Title: Of Suns and Spirits

Author: riyamcyriac

Reviewer: fantasy_panda2003


Summary: 4.5/5

Your summary is very powerful and intriguing and gives good detail about your story. However, I feel like the last paragraph of your summary seems like a fill-in paragraph. I think that cutting your summary off after "All have different intentions, different stakes, different strategies, and different goals, but the end goal is victory" and then following that up with "Let the Blood Battles commence" would make your summary more suspenseful. I feel this would also attract more readers to your story because they will be left thinking what could happen next. Leaving out those little details will give the reader an opportunity to find out about them when they read your story. Other than that, your summary is very well written.


Character Building: 5/5

I love how your characters each have their own distinctive personalities that differs from the others. Varona has determination for winning and getting her way, even if that means betraying what her older sister Elena tells her. Even though she is unsure at times, she still finds a way to pull through. Kardith's personality is extremely different from the others. He is sly and persuasive, but also charismatic. There also seems to be gentler side to him that cares for his wife and daughter. These traits can be seen as he struggles to balance out both sides of his life. Akuru is also a character that differs from the others. He is very independent and yearns to find a purpose and power within himself and move on from his past life. Overall, you did an amazing job building your characters personalities and shaping them into who they're meant to be in your story.


Writing Style: 5/5

Your word choice and vivid descriptions make your story a joy to read. I noticed in your preferences for focus points that you wanted to know whether your story has that hooking and page turning effect, and it definitely does! I love the layout of your chapters and how some of them are left on a cliffhanger. It really gives your story that feeling of suspense that readers crave.


Plot + Uniqueness: 4.5/5

Your plot isn't like any other I've read in a fantasy book before. The way you built the worlds of the different Realms and tied them individually into each character's life and situations was impressive. The description of the Blood Battles and the moments leading up to them was extremely suspenseful and I loved how each character had their own individual purpose for going into the Blood Battles. The plot twist where we find out about Akuru's homosexuality was an exciting addition. The building of suspense in your plot made your story so much more interesting to read. As far as uniqueness goes, your story is similar to other fantasy stories I've read, but it definitely takes the typical plot of a fantasy story and makes it something more.


Likeability + Interest: 4.5/5

I enjoyed the content of your story a lot, but I feel that some of your aesthetics were a bit of a distraction from the story. You want to keep your reader engaged throughout the entirety of your story and keep any potential distractions from the story to a minimum. I think the aesthetics for your chapter titles fit very well and should be kept. However, I feel that the playlist aesthetics were distracting as they may not really be a necessity to the story. Also, I felt that some of your chapters could have been a bit shorter or split into two separate chapters.


OVERALL SCORE: 23.5/25

I definitely think this story should be a bestseller! This was one story that I couldn't stop reading because it was just that good. I can tell you have put a lot of time and effort into writing this and I admire your dedication. Keep up the amazing work!


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