March 31st, 1991- Janet's POV
"Yeah this is a nice dress you have to wear it tonight." I stared at this emerald green dress that Ari was holding up and I sighed, not even feeling the good vibes that I should be feeling. "You're only 6 months and it's just beginning to show, so I think it'll give the public a great sense of who you and E are." Lauren said and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't sure how many more times I would have to say that me and Eric aren't the same. He's not even home as much anymore. It's like it happens so much I don't even react anymore. But when people say that me and Eric are couple goals and the ultimate hip hop couple, it stings a little bit.
But if you want to know why I'm even looking at dresses, it's because Eric is being honored at this galley tonight. It's not a NWA award either, it's just for him. He won it because of his giving back to the community and stuff. And as his wife and supposed right hand, I'm gonna be there by his side to see him accept the honor. Plus, it would be awkward not to go because the public don't know shit about what's really going on. All they know that's going on is that I'm pregnant again but me and E are happy, rich, powerful, in love and live in a palace in Calabasas. Literally the only problem the public thinks we have is Cube. And in reality it's the pure opposite.
Are we rich, to some extent yeah. Am I pregnant again, yeah. But am I happy, hell no. But fuck it. "More than likely Eric's wearing all black so it'll look good." Lauren's voice brought me back to reality. I waved my hand lazily and Lauren smiled. "She'll take it." She told the lady and I shook my head. Ari stared at me and I know she wanted to say something. And, as much as I didn't want to hear it, I know she was going to say something. "So Jay.." I looked at her. "...About Pac." My eyes widened and Lauren looked absolutely taken for a loop. "Pac? As in Tupac?"she asked and Ari nodded smirking.
Let me explain. The first time I met Tupac was back in 1990. He had come to one of my shows and he wanted to meet me. I only granted it because I knew he was in Digital Underground and they were pretty good so I wanted to meet him too. What I wasn't expecting though was for him to one be so flirty and good at it too. And two for him to be as good looking as he is. But either way it goes I'm not looking for a man, and allowing my eyes to wander before was what landed me in so much bullshit. I told Ari exactly that then and I'm taking this moment to repeat myself. "Ari I'm not interested in ole dude." Ari smacked his lips. "Yeah I know but he into you and the other night proves it. Not to mention E act like yo ass is non-existent unless y'all going out somewhere." I rolled my eyes.
I meant to add that me, Gina and Ari went out Thursday for dinner and Cube was gonna meet us there. And when he came, he brought Pac along because they had just met. And the entire time, Pac talked to me and only me. Like he was so damn interested in me for whatever reason. But I didn't crack, all he knows is that I'm pregnant and I'm with E and that's all he'll ever know about me. But Ari is hell bent on making us something. She truly now thinks Pac just might be the one for me. But I don't know. Lauren continued to stare with her mouth opened. "Janet you got all of Tupac's attention and you mean to tell me you're ignoring it?" I shook my head. "I'm 5 months pregnant. I have children and a career to worry about." Ari smirked.
"What?" I sighed and she laughed. "It's just...Eric didn't once come up in that list." I just sighed and then the lady reappeared with my dress. "Here you are. Have a great day ladies." "You too," we all said in unison as we walked out the shop. "Jay listen," Ari spoke when we were halfway to the car. "What?" "What you just did in there, your reaction when I said that Eric didn't come up in that list of things you care about...it shows me that you know you need to move on. You know you want to move on and you should. You know you should." I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. She put her arm around me as we finally got to the car. "But if you not ready right now that's cool. But you'll know when it's time to cross that bridge.."
...
I sat in the passenger seat of Eric's new cherry red Impala as he pulled up to the curb next to the front of the Staples Center. He got out and walked over to my side as the valet opened my door. I stepped out and I think I looked pretty nice seeing that this was somewhat a fancy event. Eric was wearing some black dress pants, a grey and black dress shirt with a grey tie and some shiny new Stacey Adams black dress shoes. He had his hair in jherri curls without a hat. He looked so great for him to be dressed business casual. I complimented him nicely in my emerald green evening dress with a black shawl that laid on my shoulders. I wore black and silver wedges on my feet and I had emerald and diamond dangle earrings on my ears as well as silver bangles on my wrists. My belly of course poked out but it only added to my phony glow that I have managed to perfect over the past two years.
Eric handed the valet the keys and he nodded respectfully to us as if we were some royal couple. And he got in the Impala and drove off. The cameras were flashing and the reporters were yelling as Eric took my hand and we walked down the red carpet. "Eazy! Janet! Eazy!" One reporter screamed as we walked up to her. "This evening must be incredible for you Eazy, you're being given this honor for your giving back to your community. And you have your beautiful wife here by your side. How does this feel?" Eric smiled, I forced myself to avoid rolling my eyes. "It's an amazing honor that I'm being given this award. Yes I'm all about the music but I'm even more about using any influence I do have to do good in Cali which will forever be my home. And Janet.."
He looked down at me and I forced a smile on my face. "We've known each other for 17 years and she been my rock through everything." "Aww such a wonderful couple. You guys are beautiful congratulations again." The reporter said sweetly. We thanked her and kept walking. I wonder if E face was aching yet, because mine was from this fake smiling we were doing.
...
We had just finished watching the video of Eric at a few recent charity events he had been too and the crowd cheered. I smiled and clapped along. One thing I can say about Eric, he's always about the kids and giving back. "And without further ado, it is my honor to present the Black Gold Good Humanitarian Award to Mr. Eric "Eazy-E" Wright." Everyone stood up and clapped as Eric walked up to the podium to accept the award. I was definitely proud and happy for him no doubt. He shook the man's hand before taking the gleaming award and touched the mic. "Good evening, how y'all doing?" "Good." The crowd murmured. "Great, well thank you so much for this award. It feels so good receiving it because I love my community and I love the kids who live here,"
"He's so into appearances," I thought but I kept smiling. "I was once in their shoes and to keep them out of the things I did as a child, the things I talk about in my music, I will try my best and I will use all the power that I have to bring them up and do all the good possible for them, so they know that they can be somebody. In this moment I'd also like to acknowledge Rodney King get better man." The crowd clapped, we had all been hearing about the bullshit that happened earlier this month to Rodney King and it was ridiculous so E was right to acknowledge it. "I'd of course like to thank God, my parents, as well as my group NWA. The founder of the label I'm on...oh wait that's me." The entire crowd laughed as did I. He chuckled. "I dedicate this to my kids I love all of them, but most of all I have to thank my wife." I smiled and this time it was genuine as everyone clapped for me.
"We've been married for only 2 years but we've been in each other's lives for 17 years and she's been my rock through absolutely everything when I was down and out and things weren't clear she still stayed. And I love her for that, and I will always love her." He blew me a kiss and everyone cheered. I smiled and nodded. "Thank you all again for this amazing award." They all continued to clap and he came down to where I was sitting. He smiled down at me then leaned down and kissed me as the cameras clicked away. I only wished that this was my reality.
...
It was now 11:00 at night and we were pulling up to our huge house. I was prepared to see my baby who was inside with Ren who had offered to babysit. I turned and smiled at Eric who was staring straight ahead. "I'm really proud of you E...and maybe once Ren leaves and Londy is asleep how about I run us a hot bath." "I have somewhere I have to be." Eric said simply and I sighed. "E tonight's your night." That's when he looked at me. "And I just want to make you happy." He smiled at me. "You want to make me happy?" I nodded. "Okay..." He reached over me and pushed open my car door. "You wanna make me happy, you can do that by getting the fuck out my car." He looked directly into my eyes when he said this.
I sighed and silently turned away from, getting out of the car. I closed the door and walked up the stairs. I turned to see that he was driving out of the gates in front of the house. Once again this night ended just like the others before it. With me all alone.
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