I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
~ Queen, I Want To Break Free
I remember when Marcus came out to me about being bisexual he was fifteen and I was seventeen. I didn't think anything else about it, he was the same boy playing sports and being a shit towards any form of authority. He was still the same bad boy he had made himself out to be and the captain of every sports team he was on, the same boy that had different girls over every weekend and boys when Anthony was away at school and our parents were on business.
I never saw him differently, if anything I saw him as who he really was, not the boy hiding away.
For two years he kept a secret until he was seventeen and had just received acceptance letters from all the top Ivy schools in North America.
I distinctly remember sitting around the table at the mandatory Sunday brunch with my family, pushing eggs around my plate, listening to my parents talk about how great Anthony was doing in his last year of school and how I should take notes.
Marcus had been quiet the whole morning, shifting in his seat.
If I had been a better sister, maybe I would have seen the signs and could have protected my baby brother from our family.
The moment he confessed his sexuality, all hell broke loose. Never had I heard my parents use such vile language to one of their own, threatening to disown him and to send him away.
They kicked him out shortly after and he finished the rest of his grade 12 year living at Kai's house where they accepted him and didn't question him when boys were over, only ever telling him to use protection.
My parents never showed up to his graduation or to see him off at the airport, it was all my aunt and uncle.
Even before I left they acted like that part of their life didn't exist.
I stare at Lucas, knowing the strength and courage it will take him. Something my parents had extinguished in Marcus for a short period of time.
I look into his eyes to see determination, "are you sure?"
"I don't want to lie about who I am anymore, I want people to know that I am gay. I am proud to be gay." Lucas whispers low enough so no one can hear us.
I place my hand on his folded hands, which are resting gently in his lap.
I am going to give him the encouragement and strength I should have given Marcus when he decided to come out to my parents.
Maybe our lives would be different.
"I support you with your decision and I have your back." I feel the bus's engine come to life as I finish my sentence, "even if we are stuck on a bus to Mountain View, wherever that is."
"Thank you, Avril, that means a lot to me." Lucas takes a shaky breath to calm his nerves before nodding his head at me.
I give his hand a tight squeeze in reassurance.
I don't think this will go wrong, all the people on this bus right now are some of the most laid back and accepting people I know.
But you never know.
"I have something to say," Lucas speaks up and catches Isla and Erik's attention who both look at him while Devon and Kyle keep chatting.
Isla gives a quick jab to Kyle's ribs before nodding her head in our direction.
Kyle gives her a nasty look, "what was that for?"
"Lucas has something to say, so shut the hell up."
"Thank you Isla, as I said, I have something to tell you." I rub Lucas's back as he takes a deep breath in, "this is hard for me to say, but I am gay."
I wait for their response, minus Erik's as he already knows.
"Okay and?" Devon asks as he grabs a bottle of water from the counter.
"That's it? I thought you were quitting or something, had me scared for a second." Kyle breathes out, "don't scare me like that again."
Lucas looks at me with a confused expression, "that's it? No dramatic freakout or anything?"
"Well do you want us to? I feel like we don't need to, it's not like you just announced you are a dad or dying." Kyle comments, "so you're gay, oh well. It doesn't change who you are or how we feel about you. You're still Lucas."
"I can throw you a coming out party if you want." Isla shrugs.
"So you don't care, you're not gonna disown me like my parents."
"That's why Andy and Patricia disowned you? Go figure I thought they were cooler than that." Kyle pauses, "you're still the dork with the Star Wars poster above your head but instead of team Lelia, you're team Luke."
I smile at the faces around the room, not fazed by Lucas's confession and carrying on with their lives.
"Did you know?" Devon asks Erik.
"I caught him with some guy when I came home early from um... Ava's one time." Erik eyes me quick to see my reaction as he continues on, "I think that was like two years ago. Wasn't my place to disclose Lucas's personal life."
"Thank you, everyone, I was worried about coming out to you, but I am happy I did. You really are my family."
"Group hug!" I yell as I throw my arms around Lucas and plant a giant kiss on his cheek.
Soon we are all piled on the couch laughing and talking about the times they suspected Lucas was gay or Kyle's embarrassing high school experiences.
I come from the shower to see most the curtains drawn shut later that night except for one, Erik's.
I walk out to see him sitting on the couch with his head resting back against the window with his eyes looking up.
"Are you ready for bed?" I question as I lean against the door frame.
"Can't sleep again and I don't want to use the meds the doctors prescribed before we left for tour. I don't want to become addicted to them."
Seeing Erik likes this makes me sad, so much pain and fear embedded in him from his childhood.
I sit down on the couch on the opposite end and lay with my back against the armrest so that I can look at him. He stretches out so that his head is on my abdomen.
He watches me as I lay the blanket across us so that we are both covered and I begin to run my fingers through his hair. "I was scared for Lucas today."
"Why? I had nothing to fear. I knew everyone would be accepting." Erik tilts his head to look back at me, "is that what happened with your brother?"
"Lucas and he share a similar story with parents and I was worried Lucas would be rejected. I was worried about the damage it would cause."
"We aren't our parents Ray."
"I know, I'm just protective over my brother and Lucas reminds me of Marcus."
"I think they would be the perfect couple."
I roll my eyes at him as I run my fingers through his hair, feeling the cleanness of his strands untouched by product.
"Are you tired?" I ask Erik as I twist one curl around my finger.
"No, are you?"
"A little bit, but I want to make sure you get some sleep. You are the one pleasing thousands of girls." We both laugh at my comment.
"You're the only one getting multiple rounds." I roll my eyes once again and softly flick his nose.
"You're lucky I love you." He catches my hand and kisses the ring he put on my finger earlier in the day.
"I love you too Ray."
"Do you want me to sing to you?" I question looking down at him, seeing the dark circles under his eyes.
This is going to be a long tour for him and then he will be in Europe a couple of short weeks after the end of Warped Tour.
"Sure." I softly run my fingers through his hair and sing the song he wrote when he first saw me, Me Against the Devil.
edited by @GirlReader133