JB
Jae? Fuck. I kicked down the cubicle door, seeing Minhyuk towering over Jae. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him out of the cubicle, the whiteness of the toilet fuelling my anger.
The fact that he had his pants half down made me snap and I shoved him hard against the wall, using my elbow to press him against the wall.
"You said you wouldn't touch him" I growled, raising my arm to punch his cheek.
"He wanted me to. He was tempting me the whole evening" Minhyuk rebutted, shoving me away. He quickly pulled his pants up and sneered at me, wiping the blood from his busted lip.
I turned to look at Jae, feeling so lost in that moment. Jae was squatting in the corner of the cubicle still, crying while pulling his torn shirt tighter around his body, his pants around his ankles. My Jae... why did I even believe him? Why did I even allow this date?
I was turning back to Minhyuk when I felt him hit the back my head, my body stumbling as my vision blurred. That fucker.
I positioned myself before the cubicle, blocking it before charging at the blurry shape in front of me. I hit him with all I had, satisfied when I felt the bone crunching against my knuckles, the fire still burning in me.
I continued hitting him until I felt someone tug on my shoulder, the person lifting me away while I thrashed. I'm not done. I'm going to kill him. My Jae...
"Bum ah. Stop"
I turned to see Taejoon looking down at me with such sad eyes. Taejoon held me tight, only releasing me when he felt me relax.
I looked down at Minhyuk, seeing his face all bruised and swollen. I wasn't sure when he passed out but seeing him like that made me choke. God, I am screwed up. What would Jae think...
I stood quickly, turning to Jae, seeing him still huddled in the corner with his eyes squeezed shut. Will I be soiling him if I touch him?
I turned to Taejoon, begging him with my eyes, too messed up to even talk then. Taejoon sighed and headed closer to Jae, squatting next to him while murmuring something. He wrapped Jae with my jacket, bundling him up right before I took over.
I ensured that my hands stayed clear of his skin, lifting him out of the cubicle bridal style. I felt every tremble while I held him, placing him softly into a chair before turning back to the toilet.
I sunk to the floor while staring at Minhyuk, fishing my phone out to call the ambulance for him, the guilt of what I done consuming me. I know I'm messed up. I have to clean this up... I can't leave. Not yet.
The ambulance came quickly, lifting Minhyuk away on a gurney while I sat there with my head in my hands. How do I even cover this up without dragging Jae in? I've got to step up...
I stood with conviction, finally stepping out to face everything. I took in the scene before me, Taejoon standing there talking to the police, the restaurant now cleared of its' patrons.
Jae sat there huddled in my jacket since before, the medics providing some blankets, draping them over his shivering body.
The rage died in me, the guilt finally crawling up and biting me. Jae... everything about him consumes me.
I explained to the police what happened, Taejoon standing next to me the entire way. The police simply took our statement, taking our numbers down in case they needed more information.
"Look. We usually bring you all down to the station... but it isn't the first time he's been charged. It's a good thing you got there in time" the policeman nodded, bowing slightly before leaving us.
I turned to face Jae's huddled figure, clenching and unclenching my fists, not even knowing how to approach him. Yoon stood beside Jae, his eyes catching mine across the room.
I looked down at my hands, seeing the blood there, the awful feeling still lingering in my stomach and head. I looked back at Yoon, shaking my head slightly before walking away, just needing to get as far as I could.
~
I walked aimlessly, knocking into random people as I kept my gaze down on the floor. I wanted to run away, somewhere, anywhere and yet the further I walked, the shittier I felt about leaving Jae behind.
I finally took in my surroundings, unsure of how I even ended up walking back to a park nearby our dorm. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I lifted it up, seeing messages in the group chat.
Group chat: Bring it 👊
From: Taejoon
Where are you
We're at your dorm
From: Yoon
Either you come to us or we hunt you down
I'm nearby
I'll be back in 5
From: Taejoon
Good
I dragged my feet down the hallway, seeing the two of them standing in the doorway staring at me.
"Hey" I mumbled, lifting my hand in a half assed greeting.
Yoon raised his eyebrow at me, Taejoon shaking his head before turning back to enter the dorm. I followed after them, not knowing what to expect anymore.
Jinyoung gasped when he spotted me, rushing forward to meet me.
"Hyung" he scanned me helplessly, not knowing what to do with his hands. Oh. My clothes.
"It's not my blood?" I muttered, looking down at my stained clothes.
"Those cuts are" he frowned, staring at my knuckles.
"It's... where is he?" I frowned and asked, just needing to know.
"You should change" Jackson frowned, catching sight of me as he exited our room. Jae's in there for sure...
"You'll end up scaring him. Go" Jinyoung urged. Taejoon had grabbed some clothes while we were talking, pushing me towards the toilet and shoving my clothes and towel at me.
I took the quickest shower, my knuckles stinging as I finally washed the dried blood off. I threw my clothes on, stalking immediately to our room.
I stood in the doorway watching Mark try to comfort Jae who kept crying, his huddled shivering figure cutting me deeper than any wound.
My feet carried me across the room and I dropped onto the floor next to him. My arms tugged him into my lap and tucked him into my chest, rocking him lightly while he sobbed.
"You're safe here" I whispered, stroking his head. Jae clung on to the front of my shirt, finally releasing his grip on my jacket.
I finally got a good look at him, his clothes torn at so many places that even his pants were hanging off him.
"His clothes" I muttered, looking up at the others. Mark handed me Jae's clothes, turning to usher the others out.
I held Jae tighter, shifting him so that I could change him. He squeaked when I tried to remove my jacket, clawing on my shoulders while shaking his head. I'm going to kill that fucker. My sunshine...
I pressed my palm to his bare waist, rocking him until he slowly relaxed again. I pressed a kiss to his forehead, the warmth of his skin lingering on my lips when I decided to make him lie down first.
I lifted us both to our feet, holding Jae's head to my chest, his body was still trembling slightly while his tears continued to stain my shirt.
My shirt stuck to my chest like a second layer of skin, the sticky feeling sending stabs to my heart instead.
"Let's lie down" I murmured, stroking his head lightly while his hands tightened on my shirt.
"I'll lie with you" I continued, turning so that I was walking backwards to the bed instead.
The back of my knees touched the mattress and I sat down, pulling Jae into my lap. He hid his face in my neck, his arms wrapping themselves tight around my neck and shoulders.
I tug his tattered pants off him, slipping him into another as I tugged him to lie on me, the action so smooth that he probably didn't realise, Jae turning to hide his face in my chest.
"I need you to change out of your shirt Jae" I murmured, stroking his head lightly. He shook his head, clinging tighter to me. I stuck his hands into my jacket, zipping him up instead, stroking his back in slow circles.
His tears slowly dried turning into hiccups, his face still pressed into my chest. I reached for the blanket when I felt him shiver, his hand reaching out to grab my hand back to him.
"I'm here" I stroked his head lightly, repeating my words until he stopped shaking. I continued stroking his back, his body slowly relaxing as he fell asleep.
He adjusted his head as he slept on, giving me a view of his tear-streaked puffy face. Jae... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...
~
I laid awake, the image of Jae trembling repeating in my mind. I held him close to me, Jae's light snores giving me the comfort I didn't deserve. Mark popped his head in after awhile, checking up on us with a sigh.
"Thank you" I nodded, keeping tone low to not wake Jae.
"I'll leave you two be" Mark nodded, closing the door softly behind him.
I continued to stare down at Jae, his hands still tight on the front of my shirt as he slept on, sinking back into my thoughts.
~
Jae's eyelids fluttered open, his face and eyes still so puffy from all the crying the night before.
I simply stared back at him, not wanting to be the one who breaks the silence. He looked back into my eyes, slowly prying his hands off my shirt to stroke my face.
The warmth from his hand sent sparks through my body, my eyes shutting themselves automatically. I held his hand to my face, savouring his warmth for a bit when it all just felt so wrong. I don't deserve this...
I cracked my eyes open again, tugging Jae's hand away from my cheek slowly.
"I don't... I'm sorry. I thought it was just a date" I mumbled. Jae scrunched his eyebrows together with a frown, lifting his head to look at me.
"I just thought you'd be happy. I didn't know he would... I just wanted you to be happy" I tried explaining, knowing that I was doing a terrible job when Jae's eyes darkened.
"Do I look happy?" he asked sarcastically, lifting himself off me. I sat up as well, trying to somewhat explain to him.
"You were before. Before that" I frowned, thinking of the two of them laughing together.
"Really?" he huffed, getting up off the bed.
"I saw you two" I mumbled, trying to get the images out by shaking my head. My thoughts were so jumbled, everything about Jae always messing me up further. Should I tell him about the photos? No...
"Seriously? Do I even look like I enjoyed myself?" he snapped, gesturing to his body before looking away, trying to calm himself down.
"Jae, I..."
"No. Don't" he interrupted, heading towards the door. I scrambled after him, tugging him back while blocking the door.
"I can't talk to you now. I'll regret the things I say" he muttered, his voice deadly calm. He looked up at me, his eyes showing me a whirlpool of emotions.
"Don't leave Jae" I begged, feeling so winded. He can talk to me. He can do anything... just don't leave me.
"I can't stay. I'll be back. Just... just treat it as though I have some schedule"
"Please Jae. I just thought..."
"You didn't think" he snapped, his eyes flashing at me.
"I wanted you to be happy. To have another shot rather than..."
"Happy I got raped?" he shouted, clenching his fists together.
"I didn't expect him to" I explained, blocking the door still.
"You... you know what I really can't do this" he snapped, trying to move me away from the door while standing beside me.
I stood my ground, tugging him back in front of me as he tried to tug my hands away then.
"Just..." he snapped, his hands turning into fists.
"I really thought that you would be better off. I'm sorry. Don't go" I pled, tugging him back into my arms.
"I can't do this" he muttered, his fists pressing against my chest.
"Please. I just..."
"Enough. I can't..." he cried, tilting his head down to face the ground.
"Don't cry Jae. Please" I begged, seeing the tears drip onto the ground again.
"Why... why did you... sick of... dirty" he sobbed, using his fists to press against my chest.
I stared at our clothes on the rack as the door knob jabbed into my back, the sight of it reminding me of the state I found him in. Of how I agreed and what I did, making me realise that I deserve this. I am a worthless thing. He got hurt because I failed him...
"Jae, I'm sorry. I failed to protect you... I'm sorry..." I mumbled, my ears ringing as Jae sobs became softer and softer. My eyes glazed over and squeezed them shut, trying to keep still while everything crumbled around me.
A/N: Updating on time. YAY. Haha. I'm supposed to include the scene where JB kisses Jinyoung but... I got carried away. I'll include it in a later chapter? Oops. Idk if the timeline matches but shushhhhh.
Thank you for voting, commenting and reading! It's mid-week madness for me. I hope you all have a good week ahead ❤️ you are amazing for hanging in there.