bury a friend- Billie Eilish
"Listen, keep you in the dark, what had you expected? Me to make you my art and make you a star and get you connected?"
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"It could have been worse." Jake muses as he sits down at the edge of my bed. I sit next to him. I feel his thumb rub against my knuckles, as he holds my hand.
"Yeah right. At least my grandparents like you."
"They do?" He asks cheerily.
"Of course, couldn't you tell?" I rub my nose against his cheek.
"Also your mom said yes to San Francisco."
"When did you ask her?" I furrow my brows and look up at him.
"When you went up to get your grandparents. I am as surprised as you are, but she thinks you need some time away to heal I guess with your dad and all."
"Hm." I hum, looking down at the floorboards.
"What's wrong?" His thumb presses into my chin to look up to him.
"It's nothing. I just-" It's hard to focus when I can hear my mother crying in the next room. My grandma is consoling her as best she can, but I think it was bound for her to break. My mom doesn't like to admit it, but she depends on my grandmother more than my grandmother pries. "I want to forget about that night. I don't want to remember him. At all. Not even the good parts."
"I wish I can wipe all the bad shit away from your mind, baby. It's not possible though." He pecks my cheek, "We'll get through this."
"Has something scarred you to the point of you wanting to die?" It's more of a rhetorical question, but I get an answer anyway.
"Yeah."
"I'm so insensitive. I'm sorry-" How could I forget that Jake was the one to find his parents dead.
"No, it's fine. Stop babying me. I wasn't even talking about that really. It's not something I saw, it's more of a memory- or should I say memories." He emphasizes. I wait for him to continue, but I can tell he's getting lost in thought.
"My parents were drug dealers."
Jake P.O.V.
5 1/2 years ago
I was sitting at the table; doing my homework. Something I usually did late at night, and it was no different.
I heard his voice. My father's. He was yelling at his phone.
It was right before we moved into the big house that changed everything. These walls weren't stark white; the color has aged well into a yellow. The light outside of the house is always shining from the natural light. I practically lived in darkness; my parents could barely manage to pay the electric bill at times. My eyes strained with the flashlights that were all across the room.
"Chris, I know I have to- what are you saying. Please don't!" My father screams as he enters the dining room- well the kitchen. We had no room for a dining room. "Shit. Shit." He throws his phone on the couch that's only five feet from the kitchen.
"Dad?" I questioned. I've never seen him so frightened.
"Jake." His head snaps to me once he hears my voice. "I thought you were out with Serena?" He's been cooped up in his room since I got here.
"My curfew is 9:30 pm." I shrug.
"It's that time already." He scratches his scalp, sweat beads off of his skin, and I can smell his musk. He probably hasn't showered in days.
"Yeah... where's mom?"
"No more questions, Jake. How bout you head out and see if Serena wants to go get ice cream." His shaky fingers fumble into his pocket for change, "Stand up." I get up, my brows confused by his haste actions. "2 dollars should cov- cover it -righ- right?" He stutters. He's nervous I could tell.
"This isn't the 90's dad." I scoff. "Serena is eating dinner with her family; it's too late."
"Jake-"
"DENNINGS! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!" A voice booms from outside.
"Shit. Hide." He pulls my arm into Terry's and my room. Only two beds and a tall dresser accustoms to the place. One perk being one walk in closet. My dad pushes me into the closet, and I thrash where he threw me on the floor.
"Dad what's going on!" I yell.
He pushes me down once again, my head smashing against clothes and the back wall.
"Don't make a sound, Jake, or we're both dead." I hear the tears at the back of his throat.
"DENNINGS! Do I have to break the door down!" The sounds become louder.
My dad slams the closet door in my face. He shuffles around my room, and I can tell he's pushing the dresser across the closet, concealing any light that could ever be possible. Darkness was the only thing I knew.
"I'M COMING!" My father yells out.
My tears sting my eyes. Where's Terry? Where's mom? The inner demons of me consumed my thoughts as I heard the men conversing with my father. I didn't understand much; the cover of the dresser blocked everything to my knowledge. Simple yellings here and there. I blacked out after what I assumed to be a few hours.
"Where is he!?" The familiar voice jolted me awake.
I raise my head from the back wall. My eyes registered to the darkness.
"Terry, he's fine."
"You're fucking sick. Both of you!" Soon the light spread across the blinds. The closet door swings open, Terry's body towers over me. The light in our room is causing me to squint. I so used to the dark, that once the light was revealed to me, my eyes couldn't accept it. "Are you okay?" Terry bends down and grasps my arms.
I don't move for a second until his fingertips brush against my arms. I thrashed and thrashed. "You're okay! You're okay!" Terry hugs me to him as he crouches down to my level.
We use to be close. It was him and me against the world. All that changed though when my parents passed, I didn't know why. It was him who pulled away.
But at that moment, he was the anchor to everything. My eyes stung of fear. Being open to the whole room, my eyes could barely meet my father's eyes. Maybe it was the light that blinded me, or perhaps because he died that night. Not physically, but something in his soul died.
Now
Jake P.O.V.
I've broken her again. The stories might be disheartening, but they are only the truth. That was the start of my fear of light. Light helps you see things, but it didn't help me see anything for what my father did that ruined our family; that has put them in the ground along with my mother.
"Hey, I'm right here." I cup her cheeks with my hands.
"I bitch and complain about my life, but you had no better." She sobs.
"Don't compare our lives. You and I had a shit childhood, and both ended early. It doesn't matter though because our adulthood will be much better because you and I will help each other in it. Right?"
"Yea-h." She hiccups.
I kiss her forehead, and I can't help but shed a small tear myself. Being with her has made me so emotional these past few weeks. I need to stop being a little bitch. "My sweet girl," I mumble against her hairline.
She's calmed down I could feel. Her gasps have now fallen to shallow breaths. Her fingertips rub away the tears away from her eyes.
"Knock, knock."
We both turn our heads to see Dawn's grandfather at the entrance of her bedroom. "Sorry am intruding? Dawn are you okay?"
"Yeah." She moves away from me; only slightly. "Just a bit upset about everything with dad and all." She half lies.
"I understand, sweetheart." He sits down next her on the other side of the bed. "I am too." He looks to me, "I assume you know everything."
I nod. I don't know what to say because I'm afraid I might blame him for everything. How could a man let his daughter stay with someone so corrupt? Dawn takes my hand from my lap, running her thumb against my knuckles. I swear every day she's able to read me more and more even with my sunglasses pressed to my eyes.
"Believe me; I wanted to kill him too. But how could I when Marsha didn't tell us much. All she told us was he went to jail for his crimes last time. She wouldn't stay with him she said. I believed her. We live in Maine. We came down here, trying to beg her to move back to Maine for the time being, but she didn't want Dawn to lose her friendships here. Didn't want to start a whole life. I should have forced her out of this house at least, but she kept procrastinating until it was too late. Ted had his finger wrapped around her again. She stayed with him. She promised he was different. He was different... quiet, reserved. She should have left him in the first place; it would of left without so much heartache."
Dawn stays silent, her head leaning into my shoulder. "Sorry for intruding. I'm going to try to get your grandma to bed." He sighs. Dawn's stand from her spot, and gives him a quick hug. He kisses her forehead, the same place my lips held. I internally cringe to it.
Dawn shuts the door behind him, and we're left in silence.
"When are we leaving?" Her voice quiet.
"We don't have to go if you don't want to-"
"I need to go. I got to get away." She shakes her head before turning around to me. "I hate being here, and her not even talking to me. She doesn't tell me how she feels, and I'm done. Take me away, please." She breathes.
I stand from my spot, only two strides and I'm right in front of her, pushing her against the wall. My lips press to hers softly but quickly. "I'll take you where ever you want to go," I mumble against her lips.
-
Dawn P.O.V.
Two days later
"You got everything." My mom is wrapped in a large robe with a coffee mug in her hand. This time I can smell the coffee rather than the alcohol. Her tired eyes strain against the light of the sun that peeks through the kitchen blinds. For the past two days, my grandmother and grandfather have barely left my mothers bedroom. They three bundled in her bed, leaving only to have meals with me. They're staying for a few extra days to keep my mom company, and I'm glad they are. She shouldn't be alone cooped up in this house.
"Yes."
"Toothbrush? Deodorant? Extra underwear? A coat?"
"Yes to all of those." I giggle at the underwear part.
"Condoms?"
"I'm on birth control." My cheeks redden at her reminder.
"Sorry, I just want you to be safe. I know you're 18 in a few weeks, but you're still my baby. I'm glad we're able to be honest with each other."
"I am too, but let this be the last we ever discuss my sex life." I cringe.
"Fine, Fine. I love you." She hugs me tightly, and I can't pinpoint the last time she did embrace me, but I'm welcoming the affections.
"I love you too."
"Don't forget about us!" My grandma yells from the top staircase. Pap is right by her side, and they stroll down the steps. They both give me a hug and a kiss on both my cheeks.
"We love you, sweetheart," Pap says.
A knock on the door makes us jolt from our spot. It's Jake, of course.
"Ready?" He asks once I open the door.
I nod, and I quickly wave my final goodbye to my family. Jake waves as well, and we're on our way to our wild adventure of San Francisco.
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A/N: haven't done these in a while lol. I wasn't going to write an authors note, but I felt like it. I love talking to guys. I'm having many dilemmas. One being I think I want to change my major in college. I'm not sure what I want to change it though. I either think I want to do film or a creative writing major. I'm not sure.
also if you guys haven't noticed, I've been slowly editing the earlier chapters of benefits. It's still not even the final draft. I'm just putting all the chapters through Grammarly lol.
also also... WHO'S FREAKING EXCITED FOR AFTER BC I AM!!!! After is obviously some inspiration for benefits, but not entirely. I freaking love Josephine and hero. They're so freaking cute. I wish I could hug Josephine forever lol. She's just so sweet, and the hero is so sweet too. Can't wait to watch it.
anyway, hope you like the chapter. Comment and vote pls!!!! ALmost over...😈👿😈