Frank was not good with people. Especially when it came to romantic relationships with people. He's only ever dated one person before and that was for a grand total of only two weeks. And losing his virginity...Frank didn't even want to think about that.
He didn't really know exactly what to feel when it came to Gerard. Frank has always been straight, up until about last year. He wasn't sure what his sexuality was but Gerard didn't help to straighten it out at all. Maybe he did have a little bit of crush on Gee, he couldn't really tell.
"Frank, just pick an outfit," Jamia complained.
"What if he doesn't like it?" Frank asked.
"Who? Gerard?" Jamia asked. "I'm sure he'll like anything."
"He likes fashion, he knows more about fashion than me, What if I have bad fashion taste?" He asked.
"You're fine," she said.
The curtain opened and Frank's mom poked her head in, sighing when she saw the mess of clothes. She looked tired and overworked.
"Frank—"
"I know, I'll clean it up," he interrupted.
"What are you two up to?" She asked. "Is that...do I smell cologne?"
"Frank is trying to impress a boy," Jamia said.
"Oh, who is it?" His mom asked.
"No, no one, goodnight, mom, I'll be home before midnight," Frank said.
His mom kissed his cheek before leaving. Frank and his mom didn't have the easiest life. His dad left when he was barely a year old, it was hard for frank to see him on holidays and birthdays. Seeing his step-brothers really didn't help. They lived in a tiny apartment, Frank's room was technically just a closet with barely enough room for a mattress in the corner and his dresser. There wasn't even a door, just a curtain in the doorway. But Frank doesn't complain, he loves his mom and knows she works so hard to support him and keep him happy.
"Come on, you were so good talking to Gerard the first day," Jamia said. "Just do that again."
"Yeah, But I was also high off my ass," Frank stated.
Jamia reached into Frank's drawer and pulled out a joint.
"No, no, I don't wanna smoke," Frank said before biting his lip. "Fuck it, give it to me."
He took a drag before handing it off to Jamia.
"You just need to calm down," Jamia said.
"I am calm, I am," he said.
"You're not," she said. "You always do that fidgety things with your sleeves when you're nervous. Just chill."
"I don't do fidgety things with my sleeves," he denied.
"You do," she said.
"No," he stated. "God, sometimes I think you're crazy."
"You're the psycho one," Jamia retorted. "Always getting into crazy stuff."
"Stop nitpicking me all the time," Frank said before taking a deep breath. "You know what, let's not argue tonight, okay? I'm already nervous, I need you by my side."
"Told you you were nervous," she mumbled before picking up a shirt. "Here, wear this."
"No, ew, this is the shirt I had to wear to my dad's wedding," he said.
"That doesn't matter, wear this white button with some black jeans and your black leather jacket," Jamia said.
Frank put the outfit on and the two of them walked down to the movie theaters. Brendon was there, he was the only one able to come on a Sunday night.
"Wow, you're dressed nice," Brendon remarked. "Are you wearing cologne?"
"Will you guys shut up about the cologne already," Frank mumbled, making Brendon raise his eyebrows in shock.
"He's nervous," Jamia said.
"Who are we waiting for?" Brendon asked.
Jamia was about to answer when the door opened. Frank's mouth went dry, his heart booming in his chest. Gerard strode in with his head held high, brushing his bright red hair out of his face. He was wearing a black crop top with a pair of light blue skinny jeans (emphasis on the skinny), and a pair of black heels. And Frank stood here, practically whimpering like a dog.
"Hey, I'm Gerard," he said.
"Brendon," the other man said.
And Frank tried to open his mouth to say something but all that came out was a little squeak. He wished he had smoked some more right about now. He didn't want to be too high but right now he would do anything to not look like a drooling dork.
"I'll go buy the tickets with Brendon," Jamia said. "You two get the snacks."
Gerard nodded and the three of them walked off, leaving Frank still there practically open mouthed. He looked at Gerard's ass, his mouth going completely dry.
"You coming?" Gerard asked as he looked over his shoulder.
Frank looked up and nodded before hurrying to catch up. They stood in the line and Frank wasn't sure what to do.
"I like your cologne," Gerard said.
"Thank you," Frank said quietly.
He wasn't sure what was happening to him. He never got this way before. He's never felt like this before. What was happening to him?
"So, What should we get?" Gerard asked.
Frank shrugged, looking down. Gerard got the food and met with the others by the theater they were in. Frank followed shyly, eyeing Gerard whenever he wasn't looking. Jamia pushed Frank down into the seat next to Gerard before he could rush to sit on the opposite side. He spent all the previews nervously eating the popcorn and thanked God when the lights dimmed so Gerard couldn't see his red cheeks.
But halfway through the movie, just as he was starting to relax, he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer. Frank looked at Gerard, who just stared at the screen. He fidgeted with his sleeves, scooting a bit closer to Gerard. Frank could barely pay attention, just getting intoxicated by the smell of Gerard. Was that weird? That's weird.
Frank never wanted the moment to end. He could feel the warmth coming from Gerard. It was comforting. He tried to relax by reaching into the popcorn bucket for food when Gerard reached at the same time and their hands brushed together. Frank thought he might throw up and he quickly pulled away, standing up.
"I'm...I'm gonna go to the bathroom," he said, earning shushes from nearby patrons.
Frank hurried down the stairs and down the hall, shutting himself into one of the stalls. He tried to take some deep breaths, calming himself down. The door opened and a few slow steps sounded on the tile floor.
"Frank?" Brendon asked.
Frank opened the door, sighing as he collapsed into Brendon's arms.
"Oh my god, he makes me so nervous, what do I do?" He asked.
"Just calm down, Frank," Brendon said.
"Do you have any pot on you?" Frank asked.
"No, you can't be smoking it in the movie theater bathroom anyways," he said. "Listen, you don't need drugs. Just remember that he likes you for who you are, you don't need to be so nervous."
"Y-you're sure he likes me?" Frank asked and Brendon nodded. "You know I'm not good with relationships, remember freshman year? I don't want that relationship to happen again. Remember how bad it was? I hurt her, she hurt me. Maybe it was so bad because I'm actually gay and so it didn't work because I wasn't straight and--"
"I don't think you're completely gay," he interrupted. "Listen, you had sex with her and from what you told me, you really liked it so you must be at least a little straight."
"What if I didn't like it? What if I just thought I liked it?" He asked.
"Frank, you told me you lasted seven seconds," Brendon stated.
"Shut up! We don't speak of that!" Frank exclaimed. "Oh god, do not let Gerard hear that. He's gonna think I'm pathetic. I've never even been with a guy? How do you know who's the...what's it called? I forgot the term for it when you're either the...penetrator or the...the penetratee?"
"Top and bottom," Brendon said. "Just let it come naturally. Ryan was nervous about that too but trust me, the first time you're together it will just come naturally."
"You don't have any drugs?" Frank asked and Brendon shook his head. "He put his shoulder around me. That's like, third base in gay terms."
"It is not," Brendon denied. "Come on, let's go back now because I actually wanted to see this movie and I don't want to miss a giant chunk of it because you're panicking over a cute boy who is actually into you."
Frank nodded and reluctantly followed Brendon back to their seats. He sat in his seat, hands playing with his sleeves again. He took some deep breaths and was about to calm down when Gerard reached over and held Frank's hand. His head leaned over to lay on Frank's shoulder. Frank tensed for a moment before relaxing. Gerard liked him, there was nothing to be worried about.
But oh god, he's never been in a gay relationship, what if it's too hard? What if it's too different? What if Frank isn't actually gay? What if he's just confused? What if Gerard just wants something casual? Frank wasn't a casual dating kind of person. What if they both have different intentions?
Frank tried to push all his thoughts aside. He looked at Gerard, whose beautiful hair framed his even more gorgeous face. Frank could only imagine their relationship. The way they would be married and living together in a cute little house with some cute little kids.
Wait. Why was Frank thinking that far ahead? No, that's weird. They've known each other for like two days. Frank shook his head, trying to push away all his weird thoughts.
"Everything okay?" Gerard whispered, looking over at Frank.
Frank nodded, clearing his throat. When the movie ended, Frank stood up so quickly he nearly knocked Gerard over.
"You need me to give you a ride home, Jamia?" Brendon offered.
Frank panicked, looking at the two. He knew they were doing this on purpose to give him alone time with Gerard. The two left quickly and Frank frowned as they walked to the lobby.
"I can walk you home," Gerard offered.
"Y-yeah, um, yeah sounds...sounds good," Frank agreed.
They began walking home, the streets mostly empty.
"You look really nice," Gerard said.
"Thank you, s-so do you," Frank said. "Are you okay? Like, cold? Do you want my jacket?"
"I'm okay," Gerard said.
But Frank noticed there was something in his tone and he decided to give him his jacket anyways. Gerard smiled, pulling it tighter around himself.
"You know, you're acting a lot different than when we first met," Gerard remarked.
"Yeah, uh, well, I was high," Frank admitted. "I'm a lot less anxious when I'm high."
"High on what?" Gerard asked.
"Just pot," Frank said.
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his lighter and a cigarette.
"Want one?" He offered.
Gerard nodded and the two stopped outside Frank's apartment building to smoke.
"So, you live here?" Gerard asked.
Frank nodded. "With my mom."
"Just you two?" Gerard asked.
"Yep, my dad ditched us to go start a new family," Frank said bitterly.
He was at least speaking a little bit more easily now, all he had to do was get a little angry.
"I'm sorry," Gerard said.
"Not your fault," Frank excused with a small shrug. "Got a dick dad and two dick step-brothers."
"Step-mom?" Gerard asked.
"Got one of those too, although she isn't completely a dick," he said. "She tries to be friends but usually it's her just trying way too hard."
"At least it's something," Gerard said.
Frank nodded and took another drag of his cigarette. He was more relaxed now, he knew that probably wouldn't last for very long.
"Gerard, I had a shitty girlfriend," he said.
"You're not gay?" Gerard asked and Frank frowned. "Sorry, guess I just assumed too quickly."
"No, I-I don't really know my sexuality," he said. "And my girlfriend isn't shitty, I'm sorry. I-I don't know why I'm apologizing. It's our relationship that was shitty. It's my fault. I'm not good with people. I get nervous and flustered and I don't mean to but then it gets awkward and weird and--"
Gerard interrupted Frank by kissing his cheek. Frank blushed, not even knowing how to speak.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said.
"Y-yeah, I'll, uh, I-I'll see you," Frank said.
He put out his cigarette and went up to the apartment.
"How was your date?" Linda asked, standing over the stove.
"Mom, I still don't even know my sexuality, it wasn't a date," he said. "I need help with my sexuality. Mama, help me."
Linda smiled and went over to hug him tight.
"It's okay," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "It's gonna be okay and I am proud of you and will love you no matter what."
Frank nodded, kissing her cheek.
"You need dinner?" She asked. "I was just warming up a can of soup. We can share it."
"No, that's okay, I just need to go and sleep, I'm tired," he said.
Frank went to his room, curling up in bed to dream of Gerard.