Hiiiiiiiii! Here's forty-six for you, hope you enjoy :)
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“So, uh...this is my house...”
I stared up at the small, select house—red bricked, three windows at the front and a white front door. It actually looked quite nice, but it was the last place I expected Ronnie to live in.
“It’s—‘’
“A dump.” He interrupted me before I could make my observation. “I know that.”
I rolled my eyes, playfully hitting his arm. “I was going to say cute.”
“I don’t want to live in a cute house.” He grimaced, making me roll my eyes again.
“Just shut up and let me in.”
With a nod, he pushed the key into the lock and opened the door, politely gesturing for me to step in before him. My eyes scanned the hall as I walked further in, and a smile lifted the corners of my mouth. It was actually quite cosy. It was quite a narrow hallway, a small staircase to the side and an open door on the other side which I could see lead to the kitchen. The walls were painted a creamy white colour and the floor was wooden—I’d honestly expected to enter a house like the parties we went to.
Ronnie placed his keys down on a small table by the door and walked into the kitchen, at which I followed, awkwardly shuffling in the doorway. He turned to look at me and chuckled, taking my arm and gently pulling me fully into the room.
“Have a look around if you want.” He said with a shrug. “I’m just going upstairs to get changed. I stayed at a friend’s last night.”
As I nodded, he left the kitchen and ran up the stairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Immediately, the smile dropped from my face and I sighed. I was even more miserable than before.
A week had passed since the barbecue. Charlotte and Linds were back at school, so I’d barely seen them. I’d seen Zacky once when I briefly passed him in my house, and he completely blanked me. I mean, I’d been avoiding him too, but he was making me feel like I’d done something wrong. That he really didn’t want to be around me. And that made me feel even worse than I originally did.
While Ronnie continued to get changed upstairs, I tried to distract my thoughts by looking around his kitchen. I soon came to the realisation, while opening his kitchen cupboards, that he had hardly anything in there. There were no pots and pans like you’d expect there to be. Even his cutlery drawer was pretty empty.
“Having fun?” He chuckled from behind me as he re-entered the room, now showered and dressed in a fresh pair of clothes.
“Uhuh.” I laughed along, then turning to the cupboard again. “Don’t you eat?”
“I eat.” He nodded. “I just don’t cook. Don’t see the point in having a load of pots and pans gathering dust in my kitchen cupboards.”
I blinked. “Not cooking surely makes you pretty limited on what you eat, doesn’t it?”
He chuckled, pouring out a drink. “I guess it does in a way. But I have friends that do cook, so I rely on them. I’m awesome at making cheese on toast, though.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the proud expression on his face. When Ronnie was being like this, it was so easy to be around him. It truly felt like he was my best friend.
“Well you can let me be the judge of that.” I smirked, sitting down at the table. “Cheese on toast it is.”
A smirk also grew on his face, and he turned to the fridge. “Prepare to be amazed.”
With a chuckle, I sat patiently, watching him as he moved around the kitchen in his own thoughts. Considering the place was pretty much silent, my thoughts began to flood back into my head, and that same feeling of hurt and worry returned inside of me.
Zacky and I had been so close. He was the one that had been driving me to most places, the one I spoke to about everything with my mum and the one I genuinely felt like I depended on since I got here—besides my dad.
And now it felt like I’d just lost all of that. Especially considering I’d not exactly been subtle in expressing how I felt over the kiss. I’d shown him how hurt I was that it didn’t mean a thing to him, and while doing that, I’d probably shown him how much it had meant to me.
But now, all he did was keep his distance from me and act like I didn’t exist.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Ronnie’s voice suddenly snapped me out of it as he sat down, placing a plate in front of me.
“Huh?” I blinked, still half in my train of thought. “Oh...uh, nothing. Just thinking about what I need to get from the store on the way home.”
“Hm.” He nodded, his tone full of disbelief. “And that’s why you look like you’re gonna cry, is it? Can’t decide which breakfast cereal to buy?
Rolling my eyes, I ignored his remark and picked up one of the slices of toast on the plate, taking a bite of it. Ronnie watched me, a grin appearing on his face as my expression quickly changed.
“Good, huh?” He chuckled, tilting his head.
I nodded. “I gotta hand it to you, Radke. You can make cheese on toast.”
Again, he chuckled, and began to dig in to his own food. I watched him with a smile, not really being able to get over how nice this side of him was. He was just so calm and friendly. I’d not felt this comfortable around him ever before.
Feeling my gaze on him, he looked up from his plate to my face, raising his eyebrows. I continued to smile, tilting my head as I studied his expression.
“Has anyone ever told you that you look just as nice without the eye makeup as you do with it?” I asked
He chuckled at that, wiping his hands with a cloth. “You trying to flirt with me, Midge?”
“No.” I immediately rolled my eyes. “I was just...paying you a compliment.”
Again, he let out a chuckle and then took my empty plate, carrying it along with his to the sink. I stared after him, still smiling, when he suddenly turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter to look back at me.
“That does remind me, though.” He said, running a hand through his hair. “We need to talk.”
I blinked. “...About what?”
“About us.”
Immediately, the comfortable feeling that had been there between us vanished. I shifted in the chair, unsure of how to reply to that. I wasn’t aware that there was an us between Ronnie and I. What if he’d heard about me telling my family I was dating him, just to get one over on Zacky? If he had, I was truly screwed.
“I...” I began to speak, my voice coming out barely above a whisper. “What?”
“I know that this whole time since I’ve met you, we’ve just been close friends, and that’s been pretty cool. But we’d be good together.” He shrugged. “Age is just a number and I’d take care of you.”
My stomach dropped even more. I couldn’t even be relieved that he didn’t seem to know about the lie I’d told about he and I dating. My somewhat good mood was completely gone.
“Ronnie, I...” I sighed, completely short of words. “Where has all of this suddenly come from?”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not sudden, Midge. The relationship between us is way more than just a friendship. Anyone could see that.”
That had me even more alarmed. If it really did look the way Ronnie was claiming it did, then maybe people had already jumped to conclusions. What if all these people I’d met at parties already thought I was Ronnie’s girlfriend?
“Ronnie, you know that you and I would never work out. It just...wouldn’t. We’re great as friends, but us in a relationship? We both have short tempers. It’d be like a battle zone.” I shook my head.
His expression then darkened ever so slightly, and he shifted. “Midge, you can’t fool around like some kind of slu—‘’
“Besides, I’m still getting settled here.” I interrupted him quickly, not giving him time to insult me.
“You’ve been here for nearly two months! How long do you need?”
“However long it takes. And even then, we still wouldn’t work.” I stood up, grabbing my phone from the table. “I really have to go do this shopping my dad’s asked me to do. I’ll see you around.”
He didn’t reply, which made me think he really was going to let me walk out without any protest or violence, but it was just as I was leaving the kitchen that he spoke again.
“How fucking stupid do you think I am?” He snapped, his tone unbelievably malicious.
“What?” I stopped, turning to look at him. “I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“Maybe not.” He pushed off the counter, slowly walking towards me and crossing his arms when he eventually stopped in front of me. “But I think you’re stupid.”
I was too miserable over this situation with Zacky to even take any notice of what he was saying. I couldn’t be bothered with arguments or petty little insults. It was just too much effort right now.
Not even bothering to reply, I simply rolled my eyes and turned around again, walking towards the door.
“I mean, if chasing after a thirty year old guy that’s supposed to be acting as your uncle isn’t stupid, then I don’t know what is.” He spoke again.
And I froze in my tracks, just staring at the door.
Surely it wasn’t that obvious?
“Stupid and pathetic.” He continued. “You’re just some normal eighteen year old girl from England that Zacky Baker is being nice to because you’re his best friend’s kid and he feels sorry for you that you’ve had a shit life. He’s never going to be interested in you, Midge. Never.”
I still couldn’t say anything, or move for that matter. It was literally like I was frozen on the spot, the harsh reality of his words stabbing into me. I knew that was true. Of course I did. But I’d been trying to convince myself otherwise as some sort of comfort to myself.
“I’m not trying to be mean, Midgey.” Ronnie suddenly appeared in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders and squeezing them gently. “I’m looking out for you. I don’t want you to get hurt. Because let’s face it, it’s never going to happen. If the fact that he’s obviously still madly in love with his ex girlfriend isn’t anything to go by, then the multiple women he sleeps with to try and get over her is. They’re women, Midge. You’re just a teenage girl. He sees you exactly the same way he sees Charlotte and Linds, and that won’t change.”
Every single word that he spoke sliced through me harder and deeper. I actually felt sick. I’d been so stupid and Ronnie was right. I just looked pathetic.
In fear that I might start crying in front of him, I shrugged out his grasp and glanced up at him, trying to blink away tears.
“I’ve really got to go now.” I murmured, not even sparing him another glance as I stepped past him and opened the door.
And as I left his house and felt his eyes pinned on my back while I walked down the road, I could only try my hardest not to cry my eyes out there and then.