Ouch!
It hurt so much. I opened my eyes and contorted myself but it only intensified the pain. I whimpered and held my side in agony as I slumped back against my pillows.
Pillows? Why was I in a bed? I looked up and only saw white. White ceiling, white bed, white outfit. Oh no, this didn't smell good. I looked to my right and was surprised to find Taylor sleeping on an easy chair and looking cuter than ever. What was she doing here?
Ouch! My head!
How was I supposed to wake Taylor up from here? My arm was connected to those annoying tubes that I couldn't remove and I certainly couldn't get up from the bed.
“Tay”, I croaked but it didn’t get me anywhere.
I sighed frustratingly and looked around me but I had nothing I could throw at her to get her attention. I heard a noise coming from the door so I focused on it and relaxed at the sight of my mother.
“Maman! Maman, il faut que tu m’aides”, I blurted out in distress (Mom! Mom, you need to help me)
“Depuis quand tu es réveillée?”, she asked in a soft voice as she approached the bed and sat at the edge of it (Since when are you up?)
“Like, five minutes”, I whispered and shrugged as if it was no big deal.
“Brooklyn, you need to get some rest”, she said in a low voice.
“I don’t want to rest. I want Taylor to wake up but she doesn’t hear me when I call her”, I said in a saddened tone and looked at her. She looked like an angel.
“You want me to wake her up for you?”, my mom asked kindly so I nodded and kept my eyes on my sleeping beauty.
My mother squatted down in front of Taylor and grabbed her hand while the other went to her shoulder to shake her a little. She called Taylor’s name repeatedly and kept on shaking her until her blue eyes came in sight. She frowned when she saw my mother but she looked up and her face completely transformed. I flashed her a bright grin but my smile fell when I noticed a few tears escaping her pretty eyes. My mom stood up and pointed at the door so I nodded in understanding and watched her leaving before turning back to my crying princess.
I observed her for a little while and thought back to everything that had happened. I didn't know if any of this was partly my fault or not, nor why it had escalated so fast, nor why Johanna had gone crazy like that but I was bothered with the fact that Taylor had had to witness it. I knew it was terrible for her.
“Tay, I’m sorry”, I whispered and it seemed to have been enough. She stood up from her easychair, came to straddle me on the bed and wrapped her arms around my neck before burying her face in the crook of my neck.
“I thought I lost you”, she mumbled and sniffed, meaning her sorrow was almost over.
“I love you, Taylor”, I said softly. It was the only thing I wanted to tell her.
“I love you so much more”, she whispered and leaned back to look at each me. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”, she asked as her eyes analyzed me attentively.
“I need to know you’re okay”, I said truthfully.
“I am. I got very scared but as long as you’re awake and healthy, I’ll be more than okay”, she said in her usual sweet tone and flashed me a cute grin as her hands left my neck to grab my own. I looked down at them and my eyes widened in realization.
“Tay, my gift!”, I exclaimed in panic and looked back into her lost blue eyes.
“What gift, baby?”, she asked softly.
“My gift that I got you. And the flowers! Did you get my flowers?”, I asked raising my eyebrows expectantly.
“I didn’t notice there were flowers. Where did you put them?”
“On the counter thing in your closet”, I blurted out.
“Then they must be there still”, she said smiling warmly and leaned forward to drop a light kiss on my cheek. I hissed at the stinging feeling, making Taylor even more worried and upset.
“Tay, my head and ribs hurt a lot”, I said frowning.
“I know, baby. The doctor said you have a cracked rib and that your head received a big hit. You wanna tell me what happened?”
“Only if you promise that you’ll forgive me”, I whispered while looking deep into her mesmerizing eyes and she nodded reassuringly so I took a deep breath. “When I came back from the shopping mall, I found your sister watching TV on your bed”, I started off and Taylor’s eyes shot up in surprise.
“You invited her?”, she asked in a low voice.
“No, I spent the whole morning alone. I went out for a while and when I came back she was just there”, I answered truthfully and she nodded for me to continue. “So I went to your closet to drop your gifts and she followed me there and started again with her bullshit, asking me why I was insisting when you were going to kick me out and everything”.
“And what? You started fighting?”, she asked blankly.
“At all. I actually told her that I wasn’t in the mood to fight with her and to hear her insult me again and I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. But she followed me again.”
“Did she tell you anything?”, she asked shrugging.
“She said that she couldn’t miss the opportunity of having me alone and when I turned around she was right in front of me. Like, face to face”, I explained in a neutral tone.
“She kissed you, didn’t she? Oh, I’m gonna snap that bitch’s neck”, Taylor spat frustratingly.
“No, no, no. She didn’t. She… Hum… She said she wanted to teach me a lesson and she… she grabbed my ass”, I confessed sheepishly.
“The only one who’s gonna be taught a lesson is her once I step a foot out of that place!”, Taylor exclaimed furiously.
“I pushed her and yelled at her”, I added in a low timid voice.
“I’m glad to hear it”, she said nodding and squeezed my hands so I inhaled deeply, ignoring the slight sting coming from my ribs.
“Tay, your sister was annoyed by the fact that I’m with you and that she couldn’t have her way with me”, I said frankly and saw Taylor’s face hardening at the sound of that.
“She said that?”, she asked raising an eyebrow challengingly. Shit, she was mad.
“Y-Yes… She said something about… about me being a piece of meat… an appealing one… and h-how it’s unfair that… she… she can’t take a bite.”
“Hey, relax. I didn’t mean to pressure you or make you uncomfortable”, she whispered soothingly and leaned forward to kiss my forehead tenderly.
“She cornered me and she touched me”, I mumbled sheepishly as I looked down to our linked hands. It hurt me and broke me to know that someone else than Taylor had managed to lay their hands on me.
“Can you show me?”, she asked softly so I looked back up and shook my head no. “Babe, I need to know. I won’t hold it against you, I promise”.
“But it makes me feel so dirty”, I whispered in despair.
“Brooke, you’re not dirty. I know how sensitive you are and I’m aware that it’s probably gonna take you a while to recover from this, but I don’t regard you as dirty. Because I know you’re not responsible for what she did to you and I know you’d never let anyone but me approach you.”
This was insane. Even after that, Taylor managed to look at me with bright happy eyes and adoration. So I took a deep breath and decided to show her what she needed to see. I took one of my hands back and squarely sneaked it under Taylor’s skirt to cup her through her panties before looking shamefully into her eyes.
“Is that exactly what she did?”, she asked in a whisper
.
“Yes but aggressively”, I said truthfully and removed my hand from under there to avoid looking like a perv.
“Did she damage it?”, she asked as her eyes widened in panic. I held back from bursting into laughter.
“No, it’s sane and ready for you to claim it back”, I said in a reassuring tone.
“Where else?”, she asked bluntly.
“My breast. Just my breast”, I said as I cupped my own boob mindlessly.
“It’s mine too”, she whined and lay her hand flat on the other one before bending over to peck my chest above the uncomfortable and scratchy white fabric.
“It felt like it was happening all over again, Taylor. The hits, the fight, the touching. I was frozen. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t move. I was agonizing but I was unable to do anything to defend myself.”
“I’m gonna take care of it. The most important is that you’re safe and out of harm so you just focus on your head and I’ll handle the rest”, Taylor whispered while looking at me in the eyes and cupped my cheeks gently as a reassuring smile crept on her lips.
“Can I kiss you?”, I asked softly.
“I thought you’d never ask”, she breathed out and crashed her lips on mine.
Taylor’s kisses were magical. Just the feeling of her lips made everything pointless and less important. They brought me my butterflies and fire back and showed me that she was the only thing that matters and deserved attention. They reassured me, comforted me and showered me with mountains of love.
“Can we go now?”, I asked when Taylor broke the kiss.
“Babe, it’s better if we spend the night here”, she whispered softly.
“But I just want to sleep next to you. I’m tired of hospitals”, I whined beggingly.
“We need to talk it through with your mom and the doctor first. Stay put while I go get them”, she instructed and dropped a light kiss on my lips before leaving the room.
Pretty please!
________________
“The most important is to get rest and to respect the pain. If it hurts, you stop and you rest. It shouldn’t take more than three weeks for the bone to be healed but you can still feel some pain after two months so remain careful. As for the treatment, I prescribed two painkillers that you’re gonna have to-”
“I don’t want them”, I cut the doctor off.
“It’s not really a choice. It’s gonna help you with-”
“It’s not gonna help me with anything so find another solution”, I said firmly.
“Brooklyn, stop being a child and follow the doctor’s instructions”, my mother scolded.
“I already have medical instructions and I’m not allowed to take any pills so painkillers are out of the question”, I insisted and folded my arms to stand my grounds.
“Considering the situation, I think you should make an exception to your previous recommendations. As long as you follow the necessary quantities you won’t have any problem”, the doctor said and placed a vial with two pills in front of me. A blue one and a white one.
“Come on, take them and then we can leave”, my mother said and grabbed the vial to open it. She let the pills fall on the tablet and my heart started beating hard in panic.
“Taylor!”, I shouted the loudest I could. The door immediately opened so I watched my girlfriend as she entered the room and approached us. “Taylor, you… you need to help me”, I blurted out in distress.
She knitted her eyebrows in confusion and looked at the other two people but her face reddened in anger when she caught sight of the scene in front of her.
“Put those pills away”, Taylor said and grabbed them immediately.
“But it’s her treatment. She needs it to make the pain go away”, my mother said shrugging.
“Yeah, I heard that before and it almost got her killed. No pills means no pills”, Taylor retorted authoritatively and opened the window before throwing the two pills out of it.
Damn, she was badass. She approached me and pushed the tablet away before yanking the cover off me.
“Come on, babe. We’re going home”, she said softly.
“Miss, you have no right to take the patient with you”, the doctor said in a strict tone.
“And you have no right to prescribe painkillers to a suicidal teenager”, Taylor talked back and raised an eyebrow challengingly. She was so hot when she got all protective over me.
“It’s okay, we’ll be on our way. Do you have any names of ointments we could put on her ribs instead?”, my mother asked the doctor.
“They should be able to inform you of what best could help with this injury in a drugstore. Goodnight, ladies”, he said blankly and left the room right away.
“Asshole!”, Taylor shouted angrily and my mother covered her mouth in shock.
“Are they gonna send someone for my drip?”, I asked blankly.
“I don’t know”, my mother said shrugging in lack of information.
“I can do it myself but it’s not really recommended”, I said frankly.
“I’ll go get someone”, Taylor blurted out and spun around to hurry her way out of the room. I smiled amusedly at her cuteness and brought my attention back to my mother who was looking at me quietly.
“It’s worth for any kind of pill, Maman”, I informed her in a blank voice.
“I didn’t know about your pills rule, I thought you were just acting up”, she said apologetically so I simply nodded in acknowledgement and focused on the door to wait for Taylor. “Brooklyn, how did you end up here?”, she asked softly.
“Taylor didn’t tell you?”, I asked back and raised my eyebrows in surprise.
“She said she found you unconscious in the bathroom”, my mom said shrugging.
“Hold on to that then”, I said and smiled tightly.
I couldn't do that to my mom. She was very attached to Nick and Jennifer and I didn't want this incident to jeopardize their friendship. It wouldn’t be fair. I ignored if Jennifer had heard of what truly happened but if I could protect my mother for at least a short amount of time then I’d do it.
"Did you..."
"No", I reassured her before she had time to finish her question.
“Someone did that to you then?”, she asked in a worried tone.
“You’ll have your answers very soon”, I assured her and the door opened right after, revealing Taylor approaching me with a male nurse on her tail.
“Evening, Brooklyn”, he saluted nicely and smiled brightly as he reached my side.
“Hello”, I answered casually and looked at Taylor running around the room to gather everyone’s belongings.
“It’s gonna hurt a little”, he advised me in a soothing voice so I nodded and kept my eyes on Taylor to avoid looking at what he was doing. It'd become less real if I didn't watch so I wouldn't feel the pain. I hoped.
“Watch what you’re doing!”, my mother exclaimed furiously so I looked down and saw my arm bleeding quite a lot.
“What’s going on?”, Taylor asked and turned around to bring her attention to me. Her eyes widened as she released a huge gasp and she approached the bed in a hurry.
“It’s all right! Stop panicking. He just needs to clean it up, it’s all good”, I said in a reassuring voice and looked to my right where the guy was already preparing a gaze. See? He knew what he was doing.
“I’m very sorry, I pulled a little too strongly but I’m gonna stop the bleeding and put a dressing”, he explained in a nice tone and brought the damp gaze to my arm to start cleaning the cut.
“Are you okay, baby? Does it hurt?”, Taylor asked worriedly.
“No, he’s very gentle”, I answered truthfully and smiled to reassure her so she nodded in understanding before watching the nurse’s actions closely.
“Do you have names of ointments we could get to put on her ribs?”, my mother asked blankly.
“Yes, I can write down some recommendations but you’ll have to choose the one you prefer”, he said kindly and grabbed a clean gaze, put some white cream on it and set it straight on my fresh wounds.
“That would be very considerate of you. Your colleague was totally rude to us and refused to even give us any advice”, my mother said irritatingly.
“I’ll make amends for his stupid act then”, he said chuckling and covered the creamy gaze with a big band-aid. “You’ll need to change it three times a day for a whole week. I’m gonna write you down everything you need to realize the dressing at home so morning, afternoon and to finish when you go to sleep”.
“Do I keep it in the shower?”, I asked raising my eyebrows questioningly.
“You can. If it’s the morning, you shower with the dressing of the night before and you change it afterwards”, he explained nicely and reached for a little notepad and a pen in the pocket of his blouse.
“And… Hum… Can I go back to cheerleading next week?”, I asked sheepishly but also very expectantly.
“No, no, no!”, Taylor blurted out panickingly.
“I think the best is to stop any kind of physical activity for the next three weeks and get back to it progressively”, the nurse answered frankly in his kind but professional voice and the only reaction I had was to sigh frustratingly.
That was unfair. First because working out was something I did on a daily basis. It allowed me to make some slips and eat pretty much what I wanted to accompany Taylor. What was I gonna do now? I’d become extra fat or I’d need to go back to my drastic diet. As for cheerleading, I couldn't see any other solution than postponing the beginning of tryouts and trainings. Good thing basketball season only started mid November.
Seriously, no physical activity at all? Like, nothing? Not even…
Oh hell no!
_________________
We were back to Taylor’s house. My mother went back to Jennifer’s and Taylor and I bought what the doctor had recommended. Taylor was in the shower and I was frustrated. Frustrated but also scared. So I removed all of my clothes and ran to the shower to join Taylor.
“Stop! You’re not supposed to run!”, Taylor exclaimed firmly but I ignored her and eagerly threw my arms around her neck to squeeze her hard against me.
God, that body felt so good against mine. She chuckled amusedly and wrapped her own arms around me to reciprocate the embrace.
“Tay, I’m scared”, I said sheepishly against her ear and lowered my head to hide my face in her neck.
“Don’t be, it’s all good. I’m here with you and I won’t leave your side. We’ll spend a nice day together tomorrow and then we’ll be back home before you know it”, she whispered soothingly.
“You’re not gonna leave me?”, I asked almost inaudibly in shame.
“Why would I leave you?”, she asked back as she leaned back so I raised my head to look at her. “We’re happy together, right?”.
“The happiest”, I whispered while nodding slightly.
“Then you’re gonna have to put up with it for a very long time”, she said softly as the most beautiful grin crept on her lips.
“But Tay, didn't you hear what the doctor said? No physical activity!”, I exclaimed outrageously.
“Hum… What does that have to do with us being happy together?”, she asked knitting her eyebrows in confusion.
“No sex”, I blurted out and bit my lip sheepishly by fear of her reaction.
“Just because you have a wounded rib doesn’t mean we’re gonna stop being intimate. We’ll take it slow. And if it hurts too much then we’ll wait. No worries. A relationship isn’t strictly about sex, Brooklyn. I won’t stop loving you or caring for you because of that, this is ridiculous. I understand those things, you know, and I seriously wonder how such thoughts can cross that mind of yours. You know me. I’m not that type of person and I would certainly not-”
“Okay, okay, I get it. Sorry. I just… I worry too much, I know”, I cut her off and took a deep breath to try and clear my head. Non-efficient strategy.
“Let’s finish here and we’ll go get some sleep”, she said softly and pecked my lips lightly before spinning around to step under the water.
Taylor and I showered in silence but together. I took the initiative of massaging her skin a little, mostly her back and shoulders, in order to help her relax and to feel her. That’s what I needed. When she got out of the shower, Taylor dried herself quickly and went straight to the bedroom without even saying anything. However, I made a stop by her closet to put on some comfy underwear to sleep in. Once this done, I turned to my flowers and spun them all around the place to check on them. They weren’t looking dead or anything, they were still as pretty.
Then, I reached instinctively for my purse but realized it wasn’t on the counter. What? But I'd put it there. Next to the flowers. I walked around the counter and opened the first drawer but didn’t see it. My heartbeat quickened in panic. I slammed the drawer closed and spun around to go open the door that leads to the purses room before scanning my surroundings. No sign of my purse. Did someone steal it? It couldn't be. Taylor’s team was trustworthy and they didn't touch personal belongings. I ran fast to leave the closet and to go and see Taylor.
“Taylor! Tay!”, I called loudly as I stepped out of the closet.
“You have to stop running”, she said firmly but I ignored her and approached the bed hastily.
“Tay, I… I can’t… I can’t find my purse. It was right there and it’s gone”, I reeled off panickingly.
“Your mom left it downstairs but I forgot to bring it back here”, she said in a reassuring tone and I didn’t leave her any more time to even breathe, I bolted out and ran the fastest I could without minding my condition or Taylor shouting my name.
I arrived downstairs and went straight to the foyer where my purse was laid on the floor. I squatted down and opened it quickly before releasing a huge sigh. It was still here. I grabbed the bag and held it against me as I walked back upstairs feeling extremely relieved. When I entered Taylor’s room, I closed the door behind me and throttled to make my way back to the closet to put my purse there. I set it on the counter, next to the flowers, and grabbed my two gifts before walking back into the bedroom.
“Where are you going with that?”, Taylor asked chuckling amusedly but I remained quiet and knelt down next to her on the bed before sitting down on my heels.
“This is for you”, I said confidently and handed her the flowers arboring a proud smile. Her face brightened as she took hold of them and her eyes analyzed the arrangement closely while her lips were turned in the most endearing of grins.
“They’re so beautiful”, she said softly and raised her head to look at me.
“They’re special”, I blurted out excitedly.
“How so?”, she asked raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
“The flowers lady-”
“The florist”, Taylor corrected chuckling.
“The florist”, I repeated annoyingly. “The florist was an old woman who made this bouquet to express her love for her deceased husband, Gary”, I explained in a soft voice.
“So these are love flowers?”, Taylor asked in her cute and sweet voice so I nodded in confirmation and admired her happy expression admirably. “I adore them. Thank you very much for this attention, baby”, she added in a low voice and leaned forward to drop a soft kiss on my lips.
“I have something else”, I whispered when she pulled away.
“Why are you making me gifts when it’s not even my birthday?”, she asked in a playful tone.
“Because I love you and I try to be a caring and attentive girlfriend who surprises you and treats you like a queen”, I explained as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
“You didn’t hesitate this time”, she pointed out while raising her eyebrows teasingly.
“Can you not make fun of me?”, I mumbled sheepishly.
“I’m not. I’m happy to see you opening up more easily”, she said softly and flashed me a reassuring smile so I nodded in acknowledgement and extended my arm to hand her the little bag.
My heartbeat went crazy in both anticipation and apprehension of what her reaction would be like. At least she was happy when she took the bag from me and her face displayed surprise when she discovered the box. I still couldn’t believe a wrapping could be that spectacular but I was deeply satisfied. Taylor deserved the best and this box itself was perfect for her. It took her some time to proceed with the opening of the box but when she lifted the lid, I noticed my girlfriend freezing in pure shock as her eyes filled themselves with water.
Oh, no. She didn't like it.
“It was a bad idea, wasn’t it? I thought I made a good choice but if you don’t li-”
“I don’t think you realize how beautiful you are, Brooklyn”, she cut me off and raised her head to look into my eyes while hers were shining. Literally shining. “You’re beautiful not only because of your appearance but also because of your endless generosity and your desire to make the people you love happy. And believe me when I say that you do."
“So you like it?”, I asked in a timid voice while frowning in apprehension.
“This is the most splendid and precious piece I’ve ever seen”, she whispered and flashed me a grin which brightness was never equalled before.
Her smile was so genuine and raw and her eyes were radiating too many emotions all at once for me to know how to handle them. My poor heart was all over the place.
“It’s unique”, I specified in a low voice, not being able to voice my feelings and thoughts out loud. I looked down at the box and observed the twinkles as a sort of distraction to try and remain calm in front of this intense woman.
“I don’t know how to thank you”, she said in a whiny tone as her fingers grazed the piece with delicacy and gentleness.
“You don’t have to. The only thing I want is to be sure that you love it and that the times you wear it will be special ones. Times when you shine and exude happiness.”
“I promise”, she whispered so I looked up to meet her glossy blue eyes.
“And when you look at it, always remember that I’m in love with you and that the beauty of this piece is nothing compared to you”, I said in a clear voice and Taylor literally dropped the gifts on the bed before throwing her arms around me to engulf me in the warmest and most loving embrace.
What a day. I bore with so many feelings, so many fights, so many struggles, that finding myself in Taylor’s arms felt unrealistic but fantastic. Taylor discovering me in the position I was in made me feel so scared and shameful. Scared because I knew Taylor and the moment she decided to deal with it would be hard and violent. She was trying to stay calm and caring for now but she was only doing this because I'd just gotten out of the hospital and she wanted me to get some rest. But tomorrow would be another day and I was sure Taylor would explode.
While we got ready to go to sleep, I observed Taylor attently and noticed her anger very quickly. When she smiled, it didn’t last as long as usual. Her movements were sharper and faster when she changed my dressing and applied ointment on my ribs. The few words she said were controlled but felt like they were forced. I hated seeing her like this. It made me very nervous because I was scared she might lash out on me.
Perhaps I was accountable for her anger. Did I put enough efforts into trying to push Johanna away? Did I give her signals that pulled her towards me?
I rolled on my side to face Taylor and found her looking as peaceful as an angel. I moved my hand with the intention of touching her face and waking her up but restrained myself and laid on my back while exhaling deeply. I needed to talk to her of course but I couldn't be selfish and inconsiderate. She must be exhausted from this day of hell. I was very sad we couldn’t go to the zoo together, I'd been so impatient to spend another marvelous day by her side.
I shifted my head to be able to look at her again. If I woke her up, she’d come back to this shitty world and be angry at me whereas if I let her sleep, I could admire her and enjoy this amazing view over her relaxed traits.
“My love”, I whispered almost inaudibly and leaned over to lay my lips on her cheek the lightest possible before rolling on my other side to grab my phone. I opened my notes app, set the luminosity to the minimum and expressed myself.
Tonight I feel like I screwed up and destroyed something beautiful. I love Taylor with so much strength and purity that seeing and feeling her anger is groundbreaking. But I know it’s my fault if she’s in that state. Because I created problems in her family by my simple presence. I truly hope that Taylor doesn’t blame me for what happened with her sister and still loves me despite the horrendous incident she witnessed. However, I feel so grateful. Grateful that she arrived at that exact moment to save me. I seriously don’t think I would have handled another violation. What Johanna did already impacted me a lot but not to the point where I dread the next time Taylor and I will make love, at the contrary. I wait for this moment. I crave for it. I need it. I envision it so powerful and meaningful. So sweet. So soft. So raw. I imagine myself under Taylor’s spell and touch and just this thought makes me feel safe. I want to feel Taylor again and to make sure we’re okay. I want to see her true smile, not the forced one. I want to find this sparkle in her eyes again and this gentleness in the way her fingers touch my skin. And I’ll achieve it. I’ll get my sweet Taylor back.