Even though everyone wanted to stay behind to keep Jieun company before her mom arrived, she politely rejected. She finally managed to convince them (especially Yoojung) that she was fine and that they should return to their projects without her. It was already 2pm, and they had wasted enough time on her and only she knew, that it was all her fault.
She also wanted some alone time to think. Perhaps she needed to go somewhere more quiet, where no one, not even the school nurse, who had been very kindly taking care of her up till now, was around.
After getting a final check-up from the school nurse, she left the nurse's office feeling slightly weak but much better. She hobbled towards the staircase, but that was when she saw a small little metal door next to the staircase. As she walked closer, she saw another set of stairs winding up to what she guessed was the rooftop.
The rooftop sounded like a great place she could organise her thoughts.
She pulled open the metal door and climbed up the stairs two steps at a go, elated to get a breath of fresh air. That would definitely clear her mind.
At the top of the stairs, there was another metal door, which Jieun flung open. As she stepped out, she was met by a cool gentle breeze and a breath-taking view.
Wow. Jieun was speechless. She walked over to the railing and stuck her chin out, closing her eyes ans taking in a breath of fresh air.
Jieun had always enjoyed high places, since a long time ago. She had particularly enjoyed sitting at the edge of the buildings, taking in her surroundings. It was where she felt the most at ease.
In the past, she and her best friend used to go to the school rooftop all the time. At that time, it was not a choice. They were not very well-liked in school and were often bullied - never physically but always verbally - so the rooftop was where they went so that they could avoid everyone and have lunch in peace.
But it wasn't too long before the two of them began enjoying their time at the rooftop. Up there was blue skies, red sunsets, amazing views and the only other person in school they could trust.
Perhaps it was since then. Jieun bit her lower lip. Those were the days. They felt like ages ago... but they actually weren't. The happy memories, even the sad memories... Jieun could never erase from her memory no matter how hard she tried. But did she want to? She should frantically be trying to hold on to what was left-
"What are you doing here?"
Jieun heard a gruff voice and turned around immediately, only to see Jungkook walking through the metal door.
"Oh, I just wanted to check out-" Jieun smiled, glad that Jungkook was actually finally talking to her. Was it because of what happened?
"You can't come here." Jungkook said coldly, not even looking at Jieun in the eye.
Jieun furrowed her eyebrows. "Why? You yourself are here, why can't I-"
"Because no one except me is allowed here." Jungkook said nonchalantly, walking next to Jieun and this time, staring at her straight in the eye. "So... you might wanna take your leave right now."
Jieun hesitated, then nodded and headed towards the staircase. She stopped in her tracks all of a sudden and turned to face Jungkook, who was looking in the far distance. "Jungkook, do you hate me?"
Jungkook turned around. He looked stunned, almost taken aback by Jieun's sudden question. "No, I don't. It's just my personality."
Jieun frowned. "Personality? I know you like keeping to yourself... but why do I feel like you detest me?"
Jungkook bit his lip, turning his head back towards the horizon. "That's none of your business." Jungkook said quietly.
"None of my business?" Jieun took a few steps forward, trying to grab Jungkook's attention again. "Of course it's my business! We're gonna be deskmates for one semester... how are we going to get along if you don't even talk to me?"
"Well, I'm talking to you now, am I not?" Jungkook didn't even bother looking at Jieun. "But this is my space, and I want you out of it."
"Look - I know you have your own problems but... can we just get along well? I'm sick and tired of being so awfully cautious around you-"
"Why do you care so much? We can just sit next to each other and mind our own businesses."
Jieun leaned against the railing, sliding to the floor against the glass panel. "I care because I came here to make friends... and having someone who hates me-"
"I already said I don't hate you, I-"
"Then talk to me!" Jieun finally exploded. "Treat me like your friend! I'm in F5 too, whether you like it or not. Why is this so difficult for you? Is making friends against your principles or something? Gosh."
"That's because..." Jungkook was evidently taken aback by Jieun's sudden outburst, but he still spoke calmly.
"Because what?"
"Because it's not just anyone. It's you."
~
Jieun sat there, her mouth hanging open for a few seconds. So he did have something against her after all. "Me? What's wrong with me? We barely even met-"
"That's why, it's not your fault. It's mine." Jungkook's eyes drifted towards Jieun, who was seated on the ground next to him. "Just leave me alone. It's not something you can resolve."
"I can." Jieun said without hesitation. "I can!"
"How do you know you can if you don't even know what the problem is?"
"How do you know I can't if you don't even tell me what the problem is?"
Momentary silence.
"Fine."
Jieun watched as Jungkook slid down and took a seat next to her. She watched him carefully, eyeing his every move. "So...?"
Jungkook was still hesitating. "It's something really hard to talk about."
"The harder it is to talk about something, the more you have to talk about it. It's always better to face your fears rather than avoid it. And... I know this from experience."
"Yeah, fainting is obviously a better option than fleeing from your fear of fire." Jungkook said with a mocking tone.
Jieun froze. "Wait... how did you know?"
"Know what? That you're scared of fire?"
"But I fainted from the lack of oxygen. It wasn't because I was scared of-"
"Come on, Lee Jieun. I know that look. That was definitely a look that screamed 'I am scared of fire'."
Jieun paused. He had finally called her name. "Lee Jieun"... Were they finally one step to getting closer? "Oh, no. You don't know that look. I mean, how would you know? It's not like you're scared of-" A look of realisation spread across Jieun's face. "Wait... you're scared of fire too?"
Jungkook didn't respond. But his gaze, that silence. Everything pointed to the fact that he was indeed afraid of fire. That explained everything. The reason why he was staring at her the whole time in the workroom - he wasn't judging her, he was just equally afraid of fire as she was.
"I used to have someone I held really dear to me. I lost that person..." Jungkook's eyes teared up slightly. "...because of a fire. From that moment on... I could never see fire. I never lit my birthday cakes, I never stood near anything flammable - nothing. It haunted me for a long long time."
A lump formed in Jieun's throat. Jungkook too... "Me too. I've had really bad experiences with fire."
Jungkook nodded silently, taking in a breath of fresh air to calm down.
"Wait - but if you're so terrified of fire how did you save me?"
"It got better over time - my fear. But I never thought I would have been able to get that close to it and even put it out. But you literally almost got burnt, I had to do something right?"
He cared. He cared about her afterall. Jieun couldn't help but feel all warm and bubbly inside.
"I would have done it for anyone. Not just you." Jungkook added. "It's a life we're talking about. I wouldn't wanna lose another person to a fire."
Right.
"Thanks for saving me anyway. If not for you... something bad might have really happened." Jieun glanced at Jungkook briefly, and saw him nod silently.
The two of them sat there for a while, in complete silence, except for the howling wind and occasional chirps from a passing flock of birds.
"I'm sorry for getting mad at you for coming up here. And... for everything that you had to put up with ever since you came here." Jungkook said quietly. "It's just that you really remind me a lot of that person..." Jungkook stopped abruptly. "Well, this place is kind of a place I really treasure a lot. It's kind of where I feel like I could talk to that person... you know what I mean? I hope you understand." Jungkook hesitated. "And again, it's not just you I don't allow up here. Almost the whole school knows that this is my place. But I guess you're new, so you didn't know. I shouldn't have gotten upset."
Ah, so that was it. He felt closer to heaven up here. Who was that person though? His girlfriend? And why would she remind him of that person? Jieun had a countless number of questions she wanted to ask him, but she decided not to.
"No, I'm sorry for intruding your space today. I didn't know it meant so much to you." Jieun pursed her lips. "It's just that rooftops mean a huge deal to me as well... It's a long story but I kind of spent my entire high school life on rooftops." Jieun let out an awkward laugh. "It's kind of where I feel the safest, you know? But I guess I won't be coming here from now on. I totally understand."
Jungkook glanced at Jieun, this time holding his gaze way longer than he ever had. "You know, you've really got something about you. I can't really put my finger around it but... it feels kind of familiar almost? I feel like we have a lot in common. I don't know why I told you so much today either... it's not like me. But promise you'll keep everything a secret, alright?"
He trusted her. The corners of Jieun's lips curled upwards slightly. "Sure thing. My lips are sealed."
Jungkook stood up, walking towards the metal door that led to where they were. He turned back after taking a few steps, looking at Jieun straight in the eye.
"And... You're allowed to come up here. The amount of peace and security I feel up here... You deserve it too." He grinned a little, before turning around and heading towards the door. "Nice talking to you today, Lee Jieun."
Jieun sat on the cold hard floor of the rooftop for a while, replaying that smile on Jungkook's face several times in her head. That smile felt so warm, so genuine, so familiar almost... She smiled to herself.
His icy cold image was finally melting.