Agad akong tumakbo palapit sa kanya. I could smell that metallic scent coming from Lumiere's body. My body was in the brink of shutting down 'cause of exhaustion, but when I saw him face down, lying on the floor and with blood surrounding him, my body felt like taking a high dose of adrenaline drug.
Wala akong ibang nakita kung hindi ang katawan niyang sa tinign ko ay patay na. Ni hindi ko nga napansin na nabangga ko at natumba ung coat hanger stand dahil sa pagmamadali ko. I didn't even reacted when I almost slipped 'cause what I only wanted to do that time was go near him.
Bigla kong naramdaman kung gaano kalakas ang tibok ng puso ko nang lumuhod ako sa tabi niya. His eyes were closed and his skin was pale. He looked exactly like corpse.
"Lu—Lumiere?" I whispered. My vision started to blur not because of I'm sleepy. It's because of the tears I didn't notice I shed until my glasses stated to fog my vision. Agad kong tinanggal ang salamin at sombrero ko at inihagis sa kung saan. Hindi ko na napansin kung san pumunta si Doggie dahil natigil ito sa pagtahol.
Parang biglang bumalik ung mga nangyari dati. Yung takot na naramdaman ko sa sitwasyon ni Icko, lahat yon bumalik. Agad kong nilapat ang mga daliri ko sa leeg niya para pulsuhan siya. Wala. I couldn't feel his pulse. May nararamdaman ko kasi kung ga'no kalakas ang tibok ng puso ko na parang gusto niyang lumabas sa dibdib.
"Calm d—down, Gem." Huminga ako ng malalim at pinakalma ang sarilli ko. kinuha ko ang kamay niya at pinulsuhan. Medyo mainit pa ang katawan niya at mukang kararating niya lang bago ako. Ilang beses ko pang kinapa bago ko ito maramdaman.
There it is. Small rhythmical throbbing. It was faint and almost gone but it gives me assurance that he's alive.
I was shivering when I fished my phone in my pocket. Dali dali akong tumawag ng ambulansya pero napahinto ako nang makita at maramdaman ko ang palad ni Lumiere sa hita ko. Nalipat ang paningin ko mula sa kamay niya papunta sa mga mata niya.
They were slightly open like he was trying to stay awake. Well that's good.
"Lu—Lumiere?" he smile faintly that made me frown. "I'm g—gonna call an am—ambulance." I tried calling again pero pilit siyang nagsasalita.
"d—don't." hirap niyang sabi. "T—The ki—kit."
"What?" Lumapit ako sa kanya para marinig siya ng maayos. Pilit niyang inaangat ang kanang kamay niya at may tinuturo. Agad kong nakuha ang gusto niya. Tumayo ako at tumakbo para kunin ung medicine kit sa cabinet.
Lumuhod muli ako sa harap niya at binuksan ang kit. I was assessing his wounds habang naririnig kong ginagalaw niya ung kit. May dalawa siyang saksak sa kanang likod, bandang tagiliran. One was deeper than the other but both wouldn't stop bleeding. I looked at him trying to hand me something.
"Y—you want me to s—sew your wounds?" Tanong ko matapos abutin ung surgical suture sa kanya. It was a bit bigger and the thread was already attached to the needle when I opened the pack.
I swallowed hard and wiped the beads of sweat on my forehead. Ngayon lang ako magtatahi ng sugat kaya kinakabahan ako. At hindi lang kung kaninong sugat ang tatahiin ko. Si Lumiere 'to. Hindi na ko pwedeng tumanggi lalo nang nakikita ko siyang namimilipit sa sakit. Hinila ko palapit ung medicine kit at kinuha ang bote ng antiseptic.
Nakita ko ung panyo niyang nakausli kaya kinuha ko ito at nirolyo saka ipinakagat sa kanya. "This will hurt a bit." He smiled weakly knowing that it'll hurt a lot. Ginunting ko muna ung T-shirt niya na namumula na dahil sa sugo para ma-expose ang mga sugat niya. I opened the antiseptic and pour it directly on his wounds. His hanky prevents his screams and shouts. He looked really, really hurt.
I continued as he hissed in pain. Tinahi ko ng dahan dahan ang dalawang sugat niya. My focused was now transferred to the other wound by the time I realized that he lost consciousness. Laking ginahawa ko nang humihinga parin siya pagkatapos ko. His wounds already stitched and bandaged.
Iniisip ko kung anong nangyari sa kanya. Kung bakit siya nagkaganito at kung bakit hindi nahalata ng mga na sa receptionist na may sugat siya nang umakyat. Muli kong tinignan ang nakadapang pigura ni Lumiere. Hindi ko siya pwedeng iwan dito sa sahig pero medyo malayo ang kwarto niya at kailangan pang maghagdan pababa.
I had no choice but to carry him to his bed. Pumunta ako sa kaliwa niya, malayo sa sugat matapos kong tuluyang punitin ung damit niya. I placed his arm over my shoulders and lifted him up. Hirap na hirap akong inilagay siya sa kama dahil lahat ng bigat niya pasan ko. He was so damn heavy.
Hingal na hingal akong idinapa siya sa puti niyang kama. I could hear him hissed in pain once in a while. I placed the covers all over his topless body and went out to clean his pool of blood that we left. Magkatapos kong maglinis ay don ko naramdaman ang matinding pagod.
Nagpalit ako ng damit at handa nang matulog pero naisipan kong tignan muna si Lumiere bago matulog.
"Bwiset." Nilapitan ko siya nang makitang nakakunot ang noo niya at pinagpapawisan ng matindi.
Mainit siya nang hinawakan ko ang noo niya. Mukang aapoyin pa ata siya ng lagnat. I had no choice but to set aside my tiredness and took care of him. Kumuha ako ng bimpo at maligamgam na tubig. Pinunasan ko ang buong katawan niya at mukha pero mukang hindi bababa sa ganon ang temperatura niya.
I even turned off the A/C and doubled his covers. Mukang gumana naman ung ginawa ko. This is the first time I tend to a sick person. Ako ang laging inaalagaan noon. Pumikit ako para ipahinga ang mga mata ko pero hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na ko ng tuluyan.
I woke up when I heard somebody moan beside me. Naalala ko lahat ng nangyari at agad kong tinignan si Lumiere. Tulog pa rin siya pero mukang nahihirapan siya. He was sweating more than last night and his forehead was creased.
Ginigising ko siya pero ayaw niyang magising. His temperature was rising and he's shivering. Pinatagilid ko siya at pinainom ng gamot. Tumalab naman agad ung binigay ko.
Tatlong araw ko na siyang inaalagaan. Nagigising lang siya para uminom ng gamot at kumain tapos matutulog ulit siya. Maayos naman ang lahat maliban nalang sa pagpapalit ko ng bandages at paglilinis ng sugat niya.
Sa tatlong araw na nakalipas, panay ang text at tawag ni HD at Icko. Hindi ko ito sinasagot at alam kong mapapagalitan ako pag nagkita ko sila, lalo na si HD. Hindi kasi ako nakasama sa pagsundo ng babaeng 'yon sa paglipat niya sa mansion. Nakatanggap sin ako ng text kay Paeng at noong nakaraang linggo pa pala sila dito sa nakarating. Nagreply naman ako at sinabi ko na hindi pa ko pwedeng makipagkita sa kanila.
Inaantok akong kumakain nang biglang tumunog ung home phone.
"Hello?" tinatamad kong sabi. Tatlong araw na rin akong walang tulog dahil laging nagigising si Lumiere kapag madaling araw.
"Sir, may tao po dito sa reception. Dominick at Danica daw po ang pangalan. Should I send them up?" sabi ng boses babae.
"Yes."
Hindi pa ko natatapos kumain nang biglang bumukas ung pinto. They gave Icko an extra card key.
"Ger... Woah! Babae ka pala." Sabi niya ng makita niya ko malapit sa kusina. Kasunod niya si Yka. I raised both brows at him at mukang natauhan siya dahil sa pagkabigla. Nakasuot lang kasi ako ng malaking T-shirt at shorts. "Ano bang nangyari sa'yo? Tatlong araw kang nawala. Alam mo bang si HD dapat ang pupunta dito? Pnigilan ko lang siya."
"Oo nga Gem. Pati ako tinanong niya. Sinabi ko may sakit ka at gurl, alam mo ba ginawa? Gustong pumunta dito."
"Really?"
"Really!" paniniguro ni Yka. "Sabi namin kami nalang ni Icko. Buti naman pumayag."
"Bakit nga ba kayo nandito?" tanong ko habang naglalakad at umupo sa sofa. Nagkatabi naman silang naupo sa harap ko.
"Anong bakit? Tatlong araw ka ngang nawala." Icko
"Tsini-tsek ka lang namin at isa pa, ayaw ko 'don sa bahay. May bwiset na plastic na nakatira. Kala mo kung sinong reyna. Kala mo naman lahat utusan niya. Alam mo ba? Inutusan akong magligpit ng pinagkainan niya. The nerve! The heart and the esophagus niya! Gusto ko siyang sakalin pag nakikita ko siya. At isa pa ulit, kala mo ahas kung makalingkis kay HD. Ang potek! Ang landi niya te."
"Wag ka ngang magsalita ng ganyan, Yka." Saway ni Icko sa kakambal.
"Tigilan mo ko nga ko, Icko. Ikaw sakalin ko dyan eh." Inis na sabi ni Yka habang nakataas ang kilay. "Nakakainis talaga siya. Nung papunta na nga sito si HD bigla siyang dumating tapos pinigilan ung boss niyo. Ito namang si HD kala mo aso. Sunod agad. Kaya ang lakas ng loob ng loko. Konti nalang, naku! Konti nalang talaga." She said while doing the little gesture where her index finger almost met her thumb.
"Tama na 'yan." Icko said then turned to me. "Bakit ka nga ba nawala?"
Seryosong tanong niya sakin kaya iyon, sinabi ko lahat lahat sa kanila. Medyo nagulat pa sila at nagtanong kung bakit at anong nangyari. I was just clueless as them kaya wala akong naisagot.
"Alam ko nang kailangan ng French fries friend mo, Gem!" biglang sabi ni Yka.
"Ano?" tanong ko.
"Mamili ka. Del monte, UFC o Heinz?" I was confused with the set of choices she gave. I looked at Icko and he just shrugged to say that he's just confused as me.
"Para 'san?" Si Icko naman ang nagtanong. Yka was trying to hold her laugh. She placed her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing.
"Edi Ketchup! Nabawasan kasi siya ng ketchup eh. Wahahaha." Bigla naman siyang tumawa ng malakas. Icko chuckled and my face just turned serious not taking it as a joke. Icko cleared his throat and elbowed Yka lightly. "Sorry, hindi ko lang naisip na...na...muntik na siyang maubusan ng ketchup." Napailing nalang ako nang tumawa ulit si Yka.
"Alam mo..." Agad akong tumingin kay Icko na nag-aalala ang itsura. "Mas malala ka pa ngayon kesa nong huli tayong magkita. Natutulog ka ba ng maayos." I shook my head and he sighed. "Ako na munang magbabantay sa kanya. Matulog ka nalang muna."
"But—"
"Sige na. Ako nang bahala. Palala ng palala kasi ang itsura mo." I smiled grateful at him. Mabuti nalang talaga at mayroon akong kaibigang maalaga at maasikaso. I was thankful 'cause of him. Makakatulog narin ako ng maayos. Bumaling naman siya kay Yka. "Ikaw? Anong gagawin mo?"
"Maglilibot lang ako at maghahanap ng pwedeng aplayan."
"Ilang bwan pa bago ka grumaduate diba?"
"Mas maaga, mas maganda at saka hindi naman ako mag-aaply. Hahanap lang." Inayos niya ang mga gamit at tumayo. "Sige na. Una na 'ko."
Inihatid siya ni Icko hanggang sa baba while I checked on Lumiere. He was sleeping peacefully while I checked his temperature. Napangiti ako nang bumaba na ang lagnat niya. Saktong dating ni Icko pag-akyat ko mula sa kwarto ni Lumiere.
Itinuro ko kung nasan si Lumiere bago niya ko pinapunta sa kwarto ko. I was immediately engaged in a deep slumber the moment my back hit the soft bed.
Hindi ko alam kung gano kahaba at kalalim ang tulog ko pero tansya ko, mga 6 hours lang dahil hapon palang nang sumilip ako sa bintana. Ramdam kong kulang parin ang tulog ko pambawi sa mahigit tatlong araw kong hindi pagtulog ng maayos.
I bathe before going out to find Icko watching TV. Dumiretso ako sa kusina para gumawa ng meryenda. It was a simple ham and cheese sandwiches and some orange juice.
"Salamat." He said "Okay na siya. Tuluyan nang nawala ung lagnat niya." Lumuha agad siya ng pagkain pagkalag ko pang ng mga ito. I felt relieved that Lumiere's situation got stabled. Buti nalang talaga nandyan si Icko.
Nanood pa kami saglit ng TV bago siya nagpaalam na umuwi. He said he texted HD earlier to confirm that I was sick and he needed to take care of me instead of Lumiere. He also said that HD was also asking for Lumiere. Ang sabi nalang niya ay hindi pa ito dumadating galing sa trip niya.
"Hindi ko pa pala siya napapakain pero napalitan ko na ung bandage niya. Babalik nalang ako bukas kapag pinayagan ako ni HD." Nasa tapat na kami ng pinto pero nagbibilin pa siya ng mga dapat kong gawin.
Instead of saying thanks to him, I hugged him when he was finished talking. Mukang nabigla siya nung una pero niyakap niya rin naman ako pabalik.
"Thank you for everything, Icko. You're the best." I heard him chuckled and I smiled through his shirt.
"Wala 'yon." He pulled away and ruffled my hair. "Alis na ko. Subukan kong bumalik bukas." I nodded and said goodbye before he left.
Pinakain at pinainom ko na ng gamot si Lumiere bago matulog. Maingat k muna siyang pinatihaya dahil kailangan niyang nakadapa lagi pag natutulog. I always slept on the couch kapag binabantayan ko siya but this time, I felt asleep beside him.
Naramdaman kong may maingat na humahaplos sa mukha ko at agad akong napadilat dahil 'don. I saw Lumiere seriously looking at me.
"Lumiere?" hindi makapaniwala kong bulong. Malungkot siyang ngumiti sakin at napaupo naman ako agad mula sa pagkakahiga. Inilapat niya ang dalawang palad sa magkabilang gilid niya at pinilit umupo. "Don't move." I said at inalalayan siya. Halata naman kasing nahihirapan siya. Tinuungan ko siya sa pag-upo at hinawakan ang noo niya.
Tuluyan na ngang nawala ang lagnat niya. Umakyat ako para kumuha ng tubig. Agad ko siyang pinaimon ng tubig pag balik ko.
"I'll go make some soup." Paalis na ko nang bigla niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko kaya napalingon ako at napatingin sa hawak niya.
"Thanks." He whispered and held me tighter.
Pagkabitaw niya ay agad akong gumawa ng chicken soup. I fed him before giving him some meds. May kakaiba sa kanya. Masyado siyang tahimik. Ang totoo, hindi siya ulit nagsalita matapos siyang magsabi ng thanks sakin. Gusto ko siyang tanungin pero bumalik lang siya sa pagkakatulog. Pinabayaan ko nalang siya dahil mas mahalaga na makapagpahinga siya.
Iniwan ko muna siya at nagpunta sa kwarto ko para magbanyo nang may maramdamang kakaiba. Confirmed! It's the time of the month. Tinignan ko ung stocks ko ng napkins at nakapamot nalang ako sa ulo ng makitang isa nalang ang natira.
I used that before changing to my disguise and go to the nearest convenience store. "It's for my sister." I said to the cashier when I noticed her observant and confused looks were eying me.
Ngayon lang ba siya nakakita ng lalaking bumibili ng napkin?
Hindi ko inaasahan ang nakita ko pagbalik ko. There was a guy standing in the middle of the living room. His back facing me and he's roaming his gaze all over the place. It's like he's observing the place. Agad akong naalarma nang maisip kong baka may kinalaman siya sa nangyari kay Lumiere.
"Who are you?" I said using my threatening voice. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa paper bag nang humarap siya. "I said who the hell are you?"
He didn't say a word. He eyed me from top to bottom then dropped a smirk similar to Lumiere's. That's when I took his appearance. He had the same golden hair and the same blue eyes as Lumiere's. Meron din silang pagkakahawig pero mukang mas bata ang isang ito kesa kay Lumiere.
"The boy toy." He said in disgust that made me throw a glare. "The question is..." he said walking closer to me. "What are you doing in mon frère's pad?"
My assumption was correct. He is Lumiere's brother.
-------------
"I don't need to explain things to you." Sabi ko na nagpaseryoso ng mukha niya.
I was walking pass him when he yanked my arms. I immediately faced him and pushed him a bit causing him to step back and released me.
He glared at me and I glared back. Pagod ako at naiinis sa kanya. Sumabay pa tong mens ko kaya huwag siyang magkakamaling hawakan ako.
"So you're the reason while he's acting like that." He said chuckling bitterly. "I didn't know my brother would settle for..." tapos ay tinignan niya ko mula ulo hanggang paa. "a loser. C'est dégoûtant!"
What? Did he just call me disgusting? Ang kapal ng mukha nitong lalaking to. Ang akala niya ba hahayaan ko ang mga insulto niya sakin?
"You know, I wanna teach you some lesson right now but we're not in the proper place. I was raised to be civilized and act polite to guests but if you insult me again, I might hurt you." I said politely but with a hint of threat in my voice. "Lumiere is sick. Please don't bother him." I saw him scowled before I turn around and walk away.
Hindi muna ko pumasok sa kwarto ko at hinintay siyang umalis. Buti nalang hindi siya pumunta sa kwarto ni Lumiere. Napabuntong hininga ako at nagpalit ng damit bago silipin si Lumiere. Agad akong pumunta sa tabi niya nang nakita siyang pinapalitan ang bandages niya. He was topless and he's struggling to reach the end of the bandage.
"Want some help?" I offered pero parang wala lang ako dahil hindi niya ko pinansin at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa.
Umupo ako sa harap niya at tinignan lang siya sa ginagawa. Isinawalang bahala ko ang hindi niya pagpansin sa'kin. I might be because of his current situation. Gusto kong magtanong kung anong nangyari pero mukang hindi ito ang tamang oras. He looked so serious and in deep thought.
He was slowly taking off the bandage covering his stomach. I got a few glimpse of his abs that got me thinking. How many does he have?
Hindi ko nalayan ang sarili kong pinagmamasdan ang katawan niya habang nililinisan ang sarillign sugat. My eyes landed on his shoulders down to his arms and chest. Hindi ganon kalaki ang katawan niya but he had muscles. I have seen a man's body many times before, given that I'm living in a big mansion full of grown men. But damn! Why do I have this feeling that I want to just stay awake all day and stare at Lumiere's body.
"You ogling over my body won't help me." Biglan akong namula at napaiwas ng tingin nang marinig ang sinabi niya. Hindi ko man nakikita ang mukha niya, alam kong malawak ang mapang-asar siya ngayong nakangiti.
"I—I'm not!" He chuckled.
"Don't worry. I love how you love checking me out." And he's back. I scowled at his statement but I could feel my cheeks heated up.
"Since you don't want my help, I'll be outside. Call me if you need anything." Mabilis kong sabi at tumayo para lumabas. Nahihiya ako dahil nahuli niya kong tumitingin sa kanya.
Bago pa ko makalayo ay tinawag niya ko. I looked at him and it seemed like he wanted to say something but having doubts. He was just seriously looking at me and I asked him kung ano 'yon pero nginitian lang ako at nanahimik. I didn't wanna force him to tell so I dismissed myself.
Pinakain ko muna sa Doggie at nanood ng TV pero hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na ko sa sofa. I woke up with someone caressing my cheeks again. I smiled and kept my eyes shut knowing that it was only Lumiere but then I thought of something.
Nasa sala ako at nasa kabilang dulo ng bahay si Lumiere.
Lumiere's touch always calms me down pero wala akong nararamdaman mula sa humahawak sa pisngi ko. Agad akong dumilat at tumayo before going on a defensive mode.
"Such a play." He whispered angrily. "A girl pretending to be a boy, eh!" agad kong nalaman ang sinasabi niya. Nakapansuot lang pala ako ng dalawang sando at shorts that exposed me as a woman. "Did you and my brother plan this to trick us so he could run away from his responsibility?" he added. His face registered anger and betrayal.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I walked away from him pero sinundan niya ko. Hinawakan niya ang dalawang balikat ko at iniharap sa kanya.
I was caught off guard that led him to push me against the wall. Itinaas ko ang kamao ko pero nahuli niya. He got hold of both my arm and he harshly pinned me on the wall, placing my hand over my head.
"L—Let me go!" madiin kong sabi habang sinusubukang kumalas sa kanya. I was trying to move my legs but he trapped himself between them making it hard to move. Idinikit niya pa ang sarili niya sa'kin para hindi ako makapalag. I was trapped and I couldn't even move.
"I knew it. I knew he was lying." Kinilabutan ako nang maramdaman ko ang hininga niya sa leeg ko. Malalim ang paghinga niya at ramdam kong pinipigilan niya lang ang galit niya. I wiggled my hands pero mas lalo lang humigpit ang kapit niya at alam kong mag-iiwan ng marka ang mga 'yon. Inangat niya ang ulo niya at galit na tumitig sa'kin. Nag-iigting ang panga niya at ang mga mata niya ay nanlilisik.
Sinuklian ko ang mga tingin niya para ipakitang hindi ako natatakot sa kanya. I wasn't intimidated or scared at him. Wala siyang magagawa para matakot ako sa kanya.
"You provoked him, did you? You put ideas in his brain." He said accusingly. "Pretending to be gay so père would disowned him. Ran away after so he could enjoy his life leaving me with all the responsibility. TELL ME!" He shouted then bumped me against the wall. Hindi ako natinag sa pagsigaw at pananakot niya sakin. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya at hindi nagpapakita ng kahit anong emosyon. Napakagat nalang ako sa labi dahil sa higpit ng hawak niya.
"I know nothing. Let go of me." I threatened will wiggling myself free but to no avail.
He chuckled in a very low tone. "Now , why would I let a pretty lady go, huh?" he said and smiled miniacally. Bigla akong naalarma sa mga tingin niya. Hindi ko alam ang iniisip niya pero ang alam ko, hindi iyon maganda. Masyadong matalim ang mga tingin niya sa'kin na nagpatayo ng mga balahibo ko.
Mabigat at puno nang galit ang tingin niya. He was planting daggers at me when a hand suddenly pulled him away from me before a fist landed on his face. He stumbled but immediately gained his balance.
"Lumiere!" Agad kong nilapitan at inalalayan si Lumiere. Nahahawak siya sa parteng may sugat kitang kitang nasasaktan.
"Brother." Matigas niyang sabi habang nakatingin kay Lumiere.
"Louie, please." Malumanay na pakiusap ni Lumiere sa kapatid.
"No! You left me—us. You turned your back against your own family." Bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkalungkot. "We told you it was over. She committed suicide."
"She didn't. I have a lead and—"
"STOP!" pumikit siya at tumalikod habang hawak hawak ang noo. "I know everything and I'm telling père." Mabilis siyang naglakad at umalis. Tinatawag siya ni Lumiere pero hindi ito nakinig at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
Kumilos si Lumiere para sundan si Louie pero napahinto at napadaing siya dahil sa sakit. Inalalayan ko ulit siya at pinaupo sa sofa.
Nagaalala akong tumingin sa kanya. Kitang kita sa mga pangyayari na hindi maganda ang relasyon ni Lumeire sa kanyang pamilya. Tahimik lang siyang nakatingin sa kawalan at luging lugi ang itsura niya.
Nabalot ng katahimikan ang buong palligid hanggang hindi ko na kayang pang manahimik at nagtanong na.
"Totoo ba?" He remained quiet for a while before answering.
"What? 'Bout what I really am? That's Louie, my younger brother by the way." he smiled weakly not looking at me.
"No? That you turned your back against them?" Wala naman akong pakialam sa kasarian ng ibang tao sa paligid ko. Hindi ako mahilig manghusga ng ibang tao base lamang sa kasarian nila. I didn't care about that.
Biglang lumungkot ang mukha niya matapos marinig ang tinanong ko. "No, it's the other way around. They were the ones who betrayed me. Who betrayed my mother." Seryoso niyang saad.
"Hindi mo ba na naisip that she really committed suicide?" his face was mad when he suddenly looked at me.
"She would never do that." Madiin niyang sabi. "Who would commit suicide the night before her flight here in this country. I saw how excited she was. She wanted to visit the kids in the orphanage where she came from." Biglang lumambot ang itsura niya habang sinasabi niya 'yon. "No one believed me when I told them that someone killed her. They investigated for a while but it was clean and eventually, they stopped." I saw how a tear escaped from his eyes, followed by another, then another. "She's kind, s—she always smiles, she's c—caring. S—she was an angel."
He was crying silently. Kinikimkim niya lang mag-isa lahat ng problema niya at walang tumutulong sa kanya mula sa pamilya niya, kahit ako.
Marami na siyang naitulong sa'kin pero wala pa kong naitutulong sa kanya. I always say that I'll help him pero wala pa 'kong nagagawa. Mas lalo akong nakonsensya at nalungkot para sa kanya. He was like his mother, an angel.
All I could do right now was to wipe his tears away and that's what I did. I reached for his face and wipe his tears. Kahit pagpahid ng luha niya ay hindi ko magawa dahil patuloy parin ito sa pag-agos. I moved closer and hugged him. Naramdaman ko ang pag-angat ng mga kamay niya at gumanti sa yakap ko.
"I m—miss her." He weakly said then hugged me tighter. Ramdam ko ang pamamasa ng balikat ko pero hindi ko ito pinansin. If that's what it takes to make him feel better, that's fine with me.
Nagkahiwalay kami nang biglang tumunog ung phone ko na naiwanan ko pala upuang tinulugan ko kanina.
"Sorry." He apologized.
"It's fine." I smiled to show him that I always had his back. Ako na ang unang umiwas ng tingin nang hindi ko madala ang bigat at seryoso ng mga titig niya. Kinuha ko ung phone at lumayo sa kanya bago sagutin ang tawag.
"Ger?"
"H—Harvey?" mahina kong sabi nang mabosesan siya. Tumingin ako kay Lumiere nang maramdaman ko ang titig niya. Nginitian ko siya pero sobrang seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sa'kin. Tumahimik saglit bago ako nakarinig ng pagbukas at pagsarado ng pinto.
"Are you fine? May sakit ka daw?" Nagbalik ako sa katinuan nang marinig ko ang baritonong boses ng kausap. He sounded worried but I just pushed that thought away.
"A—ah, OO, pero okay na ko." pagsisinungaling ko.
"Is that why I haven't seen you these past days?"
"Tungkol nga pala dyan, pasensya na dahil hindi ako nakasama sa pagsundo kay Gem."
"It's fine just take a rest." Malumanay niyang sabi. "Si Lumiere?" napatingin ulit ako kay Lumiere na ngayon ay nakatingala at mukang may malalim na iniisip.
"He just arrived." Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin ang mga nangyari ngayon kaya kailangan kong gumawa ng kwento. I've lied so many times that I sadly think it's becoming natural for me.
"Tell him—" biglang naputol ang sinasabi niya nang biglang may magsalita. "Harvey, you promised na sa labas tayo magdi-dinner. Sino ba 'yang kausap mo?" malambing na sabi ng babae at alam ko kung kanino galing yon. Sa pekeng babaeng 'yon. Napakunot ang noo ko sa inis nang marinig siya. She's really getting into my nerves at baka hindi talaga ako makapagpigil.
"You can wait for me outside." Rinig ko kung gaano lumambot ang boses ni HD sa kanya.
"Noo. And I thought that it'll be just the two of us. Bakit kasama sila?" she said with irritation that made me smirked in disgust.
"It's their job to protect you."
"But you can do that perfectly. Kahit ikaw lang. Alam ko namang pro-protektahan mo ko diba?" she purred. I assume that she got closer to him since her voice became a little bit clearer.
"It's not my job." He slowly said and I could sense a bit of annoyance in his tone.
"Fine, pero bilisan mo, nagugutom na ko." naiinis niyang sabi at narinig kong napabuntong hininga nalang si HD dahil sa kanya. Laking pasasalamat ko dahil hindi ko pa nahaharap ng maayos ang babaeng ito.
"Ger!" biglang sabi niya.
"Yes?" I coldly said
"I need to talk to the both of you tomorrow." Utos niya.
"Sige. I'll tell him." I was about to end the call when I heard him spoke.
"If you're still not feeling well, kahit si Lumiere na lang." tinapos niya na agad ang tawag matapos kong marinig ang pagtawag ulit sa kanya ni Gem. Hindi ko alam kung anong itatawag sa kanya but for now, I'll let her use my name.
I hissed in annoyance looking at the phone. "Harvey wants to see us tomorrow." Sabi ko habang papalapit sa nakapitkit niyang pigura. Nakaupo na ko nang magsalita siya.
"Thank you."
"Don't worry 'bout that. You know I'll always help you. We got each other's back." Napansin ko ang biglang pagkunot ng noo niya dahil sa sinabi ko. "Bakit? Is there any problem?"
"No." mabilis niyang sabi.
"Then what? You can tell me. I told you I got your back."
"That's the problem." Lumingon siya sa'kin and intensely looked at me. He took my hand and smiled sadly. Nalilito ako sa inaakto niya at hinintay siyang magsalita ulit. "I don't want to stand behind you. I want to be beside you holding your hand and share every good and bad experience that we'll have now and in the future." Malambing niyang sabi while looking and motioning circles on my hand using his thumb.
"Lumiere, I—"
"I like you." agad niya sabi na nagpahinto sa'kin. He kept his gaze at me that could make me melt any minute now. Napaiwas ako ng tingin at napatayo.
"W—why are you saying this?" I said not looking at him. Alam ko kung anong gusto niyang iparating pero hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko at kung paano mag-react sa ganitong sitwasyon. I was caught off guard and I didn't know how to respond to this. May mga nagtangkang manligaw sakin dati pero hanggang regalo lang sila. Hindi ko sila hinaharap kahit ano pang materyan na bagay ang ibigay nila.
"Why?" he whispered. One of his hands cuffed and caressed my face making me face him. "Because I think someone's starting to see you the way I do." I felt that familiar calmness of his touch. Nakatingin lang kami sa mata ng isa't isa. Hindi ko alam ang ibig niyang sabihin pero kitang kita sa mga mata niya ang sari saring emosyon. Hoping, scared, adoration...
He was looking at my lips then back to my eyes and I noticed how he's closing the gap between us. Palapit ng palapit ang mukha niya hanggang sa unti unti siyang pumikit at inilapat ang mga labi siya sa mga labi ko.
Yung kamay niya sa pisngi ko ay nakakapit na ngayon sa batok ko at ung isang kamay niya ay nasa likod ko para ilapit pa ko sa kanya. My heart started to pumped faster but I wasn't nervous or scared. Ang totoo, kabaliktaran pa ang naramdaman ko. It was peaceful.
His kiss was calm and gentle that I didn't realize that I closed my eyes and let his kisses take me somewhere and made me feel good as I responded. Ibang iba ito sa unang halik na binigay niya non. That one was mischievous but this one's true. Ipinulupot ko ang kaliwang braso ko sa leeg niya habang ung isa ay nakahawak sa dibdib niya. It was soft and still at first but then he started to move. Wala akong alam sa ganito kaya hinayaan ko nalang siya at mabilis naman akong nakasunod sa mga galaw niya. He tilted his head and his hand went back to my face. He wrapped his other hand on my waist and if possible, pulled me closer to him while my hand held his shirt tight. Kissing him was like a normal thing to do.
But is it normal that I didn't feel anything than calmness and peace? Should I be feeling some sparks or butterflies in my belly like in the books I already read?
He broke the kiss and placed his forehead against mine. Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko and I saw him smile while his eyes still shut. Napangiti ako dahil nakita ko muli ang mga ngiti niya. Masaya akong makitang nakangiti siya. All I wanted to do was make him smile. He pulled and hugged me tight and I clutched on his shirt.
I could feel him took a deep breath on my neck. Napapikit ako trying to absorb things. He just said he likes me. The first time someone said this to me. I like him too! I really do! No doubt about that. But is it the same?
"Would you let me stand beside you, hold your hand and take care of you without holding back?"