❝I wanted you to be the last thing on my mind. I wanted you to be the reason I close my eyes. But I can't sleep, and oh God I wanted to be your high.❞ -EDEN, gravity
I find a red rose in my locker Friday morning.
It is the Friday before Damon's Halloween party and I had woken up late after staying up until 2 am finishing a painting. It wasn't my smartest decision, but at least the painting turned out nice.
When I had opened up my locker, there laid a single rose by my textbooks, with a sticky note that read, "for Sleeping Beauty." I pick up the rose and hold it gently, twirling the stem and watching the petals twist.
"Noah's too smooth," Damon comes up from behind me, draping an arm around me casually. "I don't know how, but Noah always gets girls to feel something."
"A burning sensation while they pee?" Hunter offers as he leans against my locker. "One time, after Noah and I finished fooling around, it started to burn when I peed and then Noah told me he had—"
"I know that didn't actually happen, but I still don't want to hear it." Damon deadpans.
Where did these boys come from? In both the literal and figurative sense. They are quite unbelievable at times; like they are straight out of a book.
"Oh hey, Diana, didn't see you there," Hunter says and turns to me. He widens his eyes dramatically. "I can't believe I actually get to see a real life angel. I think I've actually been blessed."
Damon rolls his eyes and smacks Hunter's forehead. "Shut it, trash bag. Your pickup lines are getting worse and worse."
"Hunter's just passionate, is all," Noah stands beside Hunter. Noah grins and his eyes trail to the flower in my hand. "A rose? How sweet."
"This creep broke into my locker," I joke. "It's kind of scary. I keep getting roses from this unknown person...I think I might have a stalker."
Noah glowers at me. "Or a really hot, sensitive and awesome guy is trying to be a gentleman by turning a bad memory of an ex into a good one with a new friend."
"I don't know, man," Damon plays along. "Sounds kind of creepy to me, right Hunter?"
"I think it's cute," Hunter states obliviously. We all look at him, dumbfounded by how he didn't catch on to the joke. "But I'm wrong?"
Damon rolls his eyes, his arm still around me. "Ignore that one. He's not the brightest tool in the shed."
"But I'm the prettiest," Hunter chirps. "Wait...did you just insult me? So damn rude."
"Don't worry, Hunter," Alyce cooes at him and wraps an arm around him. "You're more than just a pretty face to me."
"Thank you, Aly," Hunter grins down at her, moving his arm around her waist. They look like an actual couple right now. "Your words mean the world to me."
"Ugh, what the fuck is this?" Damon grumbles. "Cute shit is disgusting."
"Don't be bitter," I chide. "It's not anyone's fault that you pick the most difficult girls to fall for."
Damon looks down at me, eyes twinkling with amusement and sadness. "I guess I have no one to blame for that but myself."
❀ ❀ ❀
"The way he looks and talks about her," I say slowly. Noah and I are currently at his place, continuing our movie list. "He loves her. He looks at her the way Josh used to look at me. Before everything went down."
Noah is silent for a moment. "You really loved him, didn't you?"
I am taken aback by the question. No one had ever really asked me that before. I had never thought about it; I was young and dumb and believed that Josh was the greatest boy I could have ever met. But I have a clear head now and the question I had refused to answer these past months is now lying right in front of me, given to me from the hands of Noah Jackson.
"I don't know," I reply honestly. "It could have been love. It could have been infatuation. For some reason, I don't want to know which one it was."
Noah grins, small and subtle yet endearing and calming. "Ignorance is bliss."
"The most tragic and beautiful form of bliss." I agree.
Noah watches me for a moment, eyes flickering to mine in an analytical manner. His hazel eyes search mine, reminding me of a forest. He stands up, offering me his hand, "Come on, you need some chocolate chip cookies."
I raise an eyebrow, all seriousness vanishing within an instant. "You don't have chocolate chip cookies."
Noah rolls his eyes and grabs my hand, pulling me up from his couch. "It's called baking, Diana. Harley does it all the time and has been teaching me. I'm not really good at it, though..."
I smile and Noah leads me to the kitchen. "I know how to bake, Noah. My aunt is a baker."
"My mom is an accountant and I'm bad at math," Noah states, grabbing the ingredients. "What's your point?"
"I'd rather not have your house burn down while I'm here," I tell him lightly, laughing as he flicks my nose. "I quite like it here, and Harley's lovely."
"Harley's the devil," Noah huffs and organizes all the mixing bowls and utensils. "I still love her, but she's a goddamn demon."
"I heard my name," Harley hollers, prancing into the kitchen. "Did I hear my older brother say that he loves me? You are too sweet!"
"Scram, brat!" Noah exclaims like a Shakespearean actor. "Don't you have other things to do? Like being obsessed with Hunter?"
My jaw drops as Harley's cheeks grow immensely red. "Aren't you busy being obsessed with Mackenzie?"
I cannot help but laugh at the Jackson siblings' expressions. Noah has a look of disbelief and confusion while Harley wears anger and triumph. They are so childish and so alike it is almost unbelievable.
Harley sprints out of the kitchen at lightning speed while Noah grumbles under his breath about 'a little rascal.' He turns back to me and gives me an apologetic look. "I'm not actually obsessed with Mackenzie."
I shrug, grinning as he begins blushing. "It's none of my business."
"Okay, but you're making this face and I can tell that you're secretly making fun of me in your head and I don't like that."
"Let's get back to baking cookies. You were right, I could really go for some chocolate chip cookies."
Noah grins, measuring flour and placing it into the large mixing bowl. "I know you only said that to change the subject, but you're pretty and I also want cookies, so you get away with it this time."
I ignore the subtle warmth I feel on my cheeks and help measure out the sugar and chocolate chips. Who allowed this boy to be so effortlessly charming? It must count as a skill to be this charismatic.
Noah laughs lightheartedly when I accidentally spill flour on myself, and I suddenly remember Josh. Him and Noah are so damn similar that I can't help but see Josh in Noah. When I think of Josh, I remember all the pain and heartbreak I had to go through. Being around Noah is just like the early days with Josh; before everything fell apart. I try to crush the comparison of them beneath my feet like a used cigarette; they are not the same. There are people in this world not destined to hurt me.
Noah senses my shift in emotion and gently places a hand under my chin, tilting my head up with concern. "You know I'm not Josh, right?"
I do, but it still troubles me. Perhaps that is the saddest part about all of this.
A/N: song attached is in honour of EDEN (the Eden Project) because I went to his concert last night and I fell in love all over again.
side note, university applications are so stressful.