Title: A Candle in the Wind
Author: Effie_J_Stock
Summary/Blurb: 4.3/5
I was thinking that the cut-off scene would be better as something like a prologue, don't you think? The synopsis about Canton is already great enough, if used alone. A blurb about their meeting with Yvette would also be great, since you're already very creative with your use of words.
But I personally think that you should get yourself a new cover. This isn't part of my expertise, because I'm not really meticulous in covers, but I think it could use some improvements, like better fonts, and a magnetizing picture. This is just a suggestion, though! There are plenty of cover shops here in Wattpad, but I recommend our Emerald's Graphic Store!!
Description: 5/5
Wow, just wow! You really blew me away with how you managed to play around with the power of words! I seriously don't know what to say here... You handled the third person point of view very well, and I loved the way you portrayed the battle scene. You described that wolf form very well, from the fur to the eyes, you evoked a lot of showing in the scene at play, and made my heart thump. Kudos to you!
Grammar: 4.8/5
You have a great taste in your choice of words! There's only little errors regarding your chapter three that I have noticed, but not much!
In chapter 3,
"Your fine." —kinda confused here.
Do you mean, "You're fine" like "You are fine," or something like "It's fine"?
The way you wrote the story in third person was a wide choice, and captivates the readers, and also enhances their view on the field (cue Morgan Freeman's narrator voice).
Characterization: 4.5/5
Using third person is the easiest way to evenly convey each character's thoughts with equal fervor. The werewolf—mate part is kinda cliché for me, you know, the whole 'possessive' thingy. But maybe that's just me, because I've been reading to much werewolf stories.
Canton's a well-rounded character, and Yvette's wit counter the possessiveness of the guy. I'm so glad she's not like any of those cliché protagonists who quickly submit to their mate.
*This is just my opinion, but I dislike that moon goddess woman. She chooses a wolf's mate like she's the greatest matchmaker. Why can't wolves find their own mate? Okay, peace out.
Plot: 5/5
This is so exciting and thrilling in every way! I don't know what to say, and I don't know what's gonna happen next! Wow, expect me to be a reader of this story now, okay? I'm the silent type though, since I mostly read offline. Magic versus science is a refreshing way to give light to those old clichés, and I'm glad I read this one.
Realism: 4.7/5
Just a little confused about Death Fall's anger-management-needing personality, but other than that, everything is a-okay! Yvette is the definition of a strong woman, and she's so great at sticking to her style. Hope you'll keep this up!
Overall Score: 28.3/30
Thanks for choosing me, Painite, as your reviewer. I'm really sorry for the delay, but here's your review! I enjoyed reading your story through and through, and hopefully you'll find this review helpful. Hope this'll bring your confidence up, but be reminded that this critique is purely subjective and may vary in other people's perspective.
So keep an open mind, and type on!!