I swallowed hard, looking in the mirror. I haven't felt like this in a long time, this pain in my chest just from looking at myself. I turned slowly from my mirror to my bed, all of the clothes from my closet laid out on it. There were only a few tight shirts and pants, most of the clothes I wore were baggy, casual and comfortable. It's what I liked...
But my father had his mother come over recently to see me again, since last time she was in the city was when I was still a baby. She had bought me some clothes, which were a bit too tight and fancy for my liking, and then proceeded to tell me that unless I started wearing nicer, tighter clothes, then I would never get a date.
Would Misaki like me better, if I wore those kinds of clothes? I wondered, staring defeated at the lay out in front of me. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, cursing and throwing it into the pile.
She told me too, that I shouldn't keep my phone in my back pocket because "the radiation could screw up my insides and I might not be able to have children."
"What if I don't want kids?"
"Well you're damn father never did either, look what happened."
I clenched my teeth, blinking fast and taking a deep breath, I didn't need to change myself. I wouldn't change myself... I was okay with who I was and what I chose to wear, but hearing someone who's supposed to support me say those things...
I stepped forward, digging my phone back out of the pile, I'll just ask him, I told myself. I'll just ask him, and then I'll be fine.
"Hey Yuri, what's up?"
It doesn't fucking help that I'm on my period either, I thought, my lips quivering, "Um..." I coughed out.
"Hey, you okay?" He immediately asked, noticing right away the waver in my voice.
"Sorry, I just... It's stupid but, uh..." I sighed, "My dad's mom came in today, and she said that... I needed to stop dressing like a boy if I ever wanted to get a boyfriend..."
"Well I'm your boyfriend, and I don't care. I-I think you're beautiful just the way you are."
I smiled, breathing a sigh of relief as I wiped away a stray tear, "Thank you, Yata."
"N-no problem!"
I giggled, imagining his blush, "The hell you laughing at?!"
"You~ You're so cute~"
He fumbled over his words, "Whatever." He finally grumbled, "I'm coming over."
"Okay."
He hung up and I did quickly after, standing up and quickly putting away the clothes I had thrown around my room. Misaki must not have been far, because less than ten minutes later he was walking through the door.
He met me in my room, where I was putting away the last of the clothes.
"I was thinking about what you said." Misaki began as I turned to face him completely, "And that woman - whoever the fuck she is - she's a bitch! Yuri, I wanted to say it again, to your face. And now that I'm looking at you, It's just all I can think about."
I swallowed hard, watching him - the most beautiful and amazing boy I've ever met - as he watched me, his fists clenched in determination.
"You're so beautiful!"
My mouth popped open in a light gasp, and I teared up immediately.
What's wrong with me? I wondered, I guess he's never actually called me beautiful before, at least not to my face. We've only been dating for a little over a month.
"You're so, so fucking beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing about you!"
My chest burned, and I wondered if I was sad or happy when I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. No one, no one has ever called me beautiful before, ever said those things to me before. It made me feel a way that I couldn't describe.
I covered my face with my hands as he approached me, my shoulders shaking. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, "You're beautiful, Yuri."
"Thank you." I cried, sobbing lightly, "Thank you, Misaki!"
"H-hey, why are you so upset?"
"I don't know!" I sniffed, sobbing again.
"Okay, okay," Misaki shushed me gently, rubbing my back. He led me over to the bed and I sat down with him as he handed me the Kleenex box on my dresser.
When I had finally calmed down enough, I sat still and exhausted against his chest.
"Thanks, Misaki... sorry, I got so emotional."
"It's okay, don't worry about it. It happens, right?"
"Yeah." I cleared my throat, running my thumb lightly over his knuckles, "Still, thank you. I'm so glad that I have you here. You're beautiful too."
He breathed a laugh, "Thanks, Yuri."