26~Wide Eyes
Everest's POV
"W-What?" Britne chokes out after a very long period of silence. We were all quiet in fact, speechless even. Our eyes are wide and our mouths are agape. The shock just kind of hit us all like a punch to the gut, silencing us while at the same time erasing every thought we could think of. My head is spinning and my stomach twists and turns in tiny knots. I hate that feeling when you want to throw up but you have nothing to throw up. You just feel empty inside. "Please tell me you're joking." She cries, plea laced in her tone.
He only stares down at the table in defeat, as if he were too ashamed to even look up at us. "I'm sorry, guys. I truly am," he says lowly, like he was guilty. My blood then begins to boil and my heart thumps harshly against my ribcage. It's not that I'm angry with Joseph or anything, I'm just... just... ugh, I don't know, I'm just angry! After all the shit I've gone through recently, I now have to go through this? I am beyond upset and far past angry. This is just perfect (notice my sarcastic tone).
I entangle my fingers through my hair, resting my elbows on top of the table. 'This can't be happening' I think to myself, wishing it wasn't, but knowing it is. I then let my eyelids fall shut, a breath I didn't know I was holding in escapes out of my mouth, "So why is it being cancelled exactly?" I ask slowly, my voice wavering a bit.
He sighs, clearing his throat. "The show didn't get enough views. The ratings for the show dropped immensely after the first few episodes. The views began to decrease horrifically with each episode we aired. With Pretty Little Liars getting around 3.2 million views, it wasn't fair to our show since we were only getting around 2.1, 1.7 million views. So, ABC Family then decided not to renew the show." He pauses for a few seconds, then says, "That's why. And I'm so sorry."
"So, you can't do anything about it? Like, you can't make them reconsider their decision er..." Luke trails off, narrowing his eyes in thought.
"We've tried everything in power to make them change their minds, but they've made their decision, and it's final." He explains. "We did everything we could do... but some things just don't work out as planned." Hell that's the truth.
Then there's a small pause. I wonder what everyone is thinking right now.
"So, is that why you wanted us here? To tell us about the cancellation?" Nicole asks just above a whisper without looking up, breaking the tense silence. He simply nods. "Where's Marlene? I wanna speak to Marlene." Marlene King is, or was, the main director/creator of Ravenswood. She was probably the first one to know about this, the first one they notified about it, anyway. That may be the reason Nicole asked for her, so she can hear it again from someone who has known about it longer than any other person, including Joseph.
"She's visiting her mother in Germany," he says sadly. "She isn't doing too well. She's very ill."
I sink my teeth into my lower lip, my hands still knotted in my hair and my eyes still glued together. "So, did we fail?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly. The feeling of failing, especially when you're an actress, is a feeling you don't want to get used to. This was the number one thing I did not want to fail at. And apparently I have. I failed trying to make my friendship with Harry work, and now I failed at this. What's next?
He shakes his head vigorously, straightening his posture from slouching slightly in his seat. "No, no, you guys did not fail," he says with meaning, his expression stone hard. "Do you hear me? You guys did not fail, okay. What happened, happened, and who knows, it might've happened for a reason. You all did great, don't let this defeat you, okay. You all are great actors and actresses, and I can't wait to see what your next big step will be. This is not the end of your acting careers, guys, I hope it isn't anyway because you guys are so talented. It'll take time to heal, but you'll get there. It'll get better, I promise it will."
And you know what, I believe him.
I finally look up, pulling my fingers--along with the knots--out of my hair. I clasp my hands together and rest my chin on the back of my hands, studying everyone's expression. Everyone mostly looks depressed and upset and possibly angry, it's hard to tell if they believe Joseph as well. There are so many mixed feelings inside of me, I don't know what to do to be honest. One part of me feels like bursting with head-on anger, while the other part of me wants to curl up in a tiny ball and cry in a corner.
Neither side is winning.
"So what do we do now," I ask absentmindedly, flickering my eyes towards Joseph.
"What we do now is move on," he says positively. "With the skills you guys have, you can make it anywhere and I don't mean just in the acting field. You guys can set your minds to anything. Go travel, go party, go risk your lives! I'm giving you my permission." His last comment made us all lightly chuckle, even though our spirits were still crushed and our smiles were small and sad. "We just have to move on and make the best of it. Okay?" He looks in between all of us as we simultaneously nod our heads, processing every word he just spoke through our heads. He is right, though. We do need to move on and have fun with life while we still have it, and not let this drag us down. But I still feel completely horrible!
"Thank you, Joseph," I say, weakly smiling, "For everything."
He shakes his head, holding his hand up slightly. "No, no, thank you, thank you all for making this show come to life with your brilliant acting. You guys made a simple idea we made up in our silly minds come true. So thank you," he says kindly, offering us all a warm smile which we gladly return. "Now, where is our waiter, I'm starving!" He chuckles, causing all of us to do the same. We open up our menus and begin to scan the many selections of food, our lips finally pulled into a small, but weak smile. I still can't quite wrap my whole mind around this. I just, can't believe this is all happening, especially now, when things couldn't have gotten any worse.
But unfortunately, things have.
Our waiter finally arrives back to our table with a tray of Champagne glasses filled halfway with the sparkling liquid, probably paid for by Joseph. The young waiter sets a glass down in front of us in one swift move, sending each of us a small smile. We then told him our food orders, which he wrote down quickly. I thanked him and he scampered away to fetch our orders with a wide grin.
"Let's make a toast..." Joseph then said, raising his glass up slightly, gesturing for us to do the same, "... to a, Bigger and Brighter Future Ahead." We all grin and lightly laugh, clinking our glasses together and taking a small sip of the bubbly drink.
Overall, it's been a pretty good day I guess. I got to spend personal time with Nicole and Britne, and what I think is most important, I'm got to spend the evening with my cast members who are more than just friends to me at this remarkable restaurant. They're like my family, a very mixed up and unique family. Other than my aunt and cousin, whom I love with every ounce of me, their as close to real, caring, loving family I'll ever get. And I am so grateful for that.
While everyone begins to remake light conversations, I dig out my phone and tap on the Twitter app. I tap My thumb over the little script in the upper-right corner and begin to tap away on the touch-screen keyboard.
@everestmilestone:
'RIP #Ravenwood An amazing experience shared with wonderful ppl! Grateful 4 the opportunity! Thx 4 all the support! x'
I attached a group black and white photo of us and tapped post, treasuring all the memories shared while making Ravenswood. They will forever hold a special place inside my heart.
~
It's been two, well three days today since Joseph told us the heartbreaking news. The rest of that night was filled with more stories, more smiles and more laughter, like Joseph had never mentioned it. But he did, and it was still fresh inside my thoughts. Although, I was sad to see everyone go their separate ways when the night was over, I was in a way glad it was over. Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing everyone together and all of us having a good time (well, you know, before Joseph told us about the show), I just felt really tired and dizzy, I thought I was going to collapse on the deck when I stood up. In fact, I wanted to leave because I felt like I was gonna lose it! I was tired of faking my smiles, faking my laughter, faking my happy attitude, just faking everything. I couldn't fake the fact that the show was being cancelled. I felt like crying and I felt sick to my stomach. I did not want to be there anymore. However, I stayed.
Anyway, today is Tuesday and basically I've been laying in bed for the past two days. Ever since Joseph told us the news, I don't know, I guess I just, broke down. My aunt understands the situation right now and is giving me my space, which I am truly thankful for. I just feel so depressed and sad and sick and nauseous, I want to cry (which I've done plenty of times).
But, it's time I've open up now. No matter how sick or depressed I feel, I have to keep moving forward. I'm taking Joseph's statement and I'm trusting in it. I can move on and I will.
To prove I can move forward... I... I finally decided to ask my aunt about, Jenna. I made my decision final last night, although I argued with myself the whole night and stressed myself out until I was at breaking point. I thought about it over and over and finally agreed to telling her, today. It's time I've come clean about what I know, anyway. I need to tell her. I need to tell her today. She needs to know this.
Unless... she already knows. What if she does know? What if she knew about Jenna this whole time and has been hiding it from me this entire time? What if she knows about my father's recent diagnoses to having colon cancer? No. No, she can't, she couldn'tve. She couldn't have known all this time, or else, I'm sure she would've at least told me about him, not that I would care or anything. But, wouldn't she, though?
I shake my head, emerging out of my thoughts. I'm just being paranoid and I need to stop. I arise from my computer desk, filling my lungs with as much air as they can hold and exhale it all out. I feel ready and then I don't. I tap my fingers on the computer desk, pursing my lips. My eyes flicker to the time on my MacBook. Five-fifty-six p.m. it read.'You can do this' a voice in the back of my head encourages me 'No backin' out. Just come clean with what you know and hope for the best' I nod my head.
"Yeah," I say to myself. "Yeah, I can do this." I tug at my lower lip, hesitantly making my way towards the door. I clutch the doorknob and crack it open slightly, hearing the sound of a knife hitting against a cutting board. Criss must be preparing for dinner. I then open the door all the way and step out into the hall, my bare feet hitting the cold wooden floor.
I turn the corner which leads to the kitchen, my aunt's head snapping up once I was in sight. "Hi, Everest!" She greets me warmly.
"Hi," I shyly say, my hands shaking slightly. I hope she doesn't notice them. "Um, watcha making?" Well I'm not gonna ask her right off the bat. I wanna take it nice and slow, keep it casual.
"Well, right now I'm making salad and after I'm done making the salad, I'm making spaghetti. Carrot?" She says, holding out a small, nubby carrot, the sides a bit roughed up but the tint a vibrant orange.
I shake my head. "Oh, no thank you," I deny her offer politely, an awkward silence engulfing the large kitchen quickly other than the chopping noises coming from the knife slicing through another carrot and hitting the cutting board. I fold my arms, a million thoughts racing through my head. I sigh, itching my arm.
"Is there something you need, Everest?" My aunt asks, ripping me out of my clouded thoughts. "Are you okay?"
I nod slowly, unable to meet her gaze. "Yeah, I'm fine. I, uh, need to ask you something."
"Ask away," she laughs lightly, continuing to chop the carrots.
"Um... I need to know if..." And then out of complete nowhere, my back pocket began to vibrate as well as play a soft ringtone. "Ugh! Jesus, hold on," I say to my aunt, turning my back to her and retrieving my vibrating iPhone out of my back pocket. After sliding my finger over the screen, I press it against my ear in frustration. "Hello!" I say through gritted teeth.
"Um, Stoney, everything okay?" Louis asks slowly, his voice laced with confusion.
I made an abnormal hum. "Louis, this isn't a really good time right now!" I try to say as nicely as I could, pinching my forehead.
"Oh, sorry, it's just, well, ugh! This is gonna be awkward, but have you seen, Harry? Like did he come see you?"
I widen my eyes, parting my lips slightly. Why would he think Harry's with me? I haven't heard from Harry in what, six days? Seven maybe. I sigh through the phone, "No, he didn't," I say, narrowing my eyes and biting my lower lip. "But wait, why are you asking me? Is he not at the house?"
"Well no. Look, he's been acting really... weird lately, and I mean really weird. Like, he'll wake up around five or six in the morning to make a damn smoothie. Or I'll wake up at, like, one in the morning hearing Harry's music on full blast. Like last night, I woke up to the sound of Spongbob's voice blaring in my ears because Harry was watching the telly at, like..."
"Lou! I don't mean to be rude, but can you please get on to the point!?"
"Damn, what bit you in the ass?" He asks with slight annoyance, even though I know he's only teasing me. "Anyways, he told us he was going to the workout about forty minutes ago, but when Zayn and Liam were making a fast-food run, they drove by the gym and noticed Harry's car wasn't there and now he's not answering his phone. We've already doubled checked the gym, a couple of areas around the beach, Nando's, Starbucks, all the places we think Harry would most likely be. Now we've just been calling and texting him like crazy, but he's just not answering. Do you know a place where he might be?"
"Whoa, whoa, wait!" I rush out. "Can't you get, like, Paul or someone to track his celphone down?"
"No way we're gettin' Management involved with this!" He yelps, his tone dead serious. He's got a point there. "Please, Everest!"
I look past my shoulder, my aunt's expression completely confused and concerned at the same time. I hold up my index finger and turn my head back around. "Fine! Uuuuh..." I stutter. I close my eyes, running my free hand though my wavy hair. I flip through all my memories with Harry, hoping to find at least one clue of where he might be. I then snap my eyes open, letting out a sharp gasp, "Wait!" An idea pops in my head. It's the one place only Harry and I know about. The one place to go to for relaxation, a break from the world. It's the only place I can think of. Or I could be completely wrong, but it's worth a try. I think I know where he is. "I think I have a clue of where he might be! I-I'll call you if I find him!" Without waiting for a responce, I hang up the phone, shoving it back in my pocket.
Sorry Aunt Criss, it'll have to wait.
~*~*~
ayyye guys! i think yall are gonna like the next chaaaaapter!:D be prepared for major feels. ok, so I was very indecisive about this chapter and its not the best chapter ever, but I hope you liked it. the part where she was going to tell criss about jenna, I was iffy about, but it fits well with the ending. so hope you like it.
so unfortunately, it is true that ravenswood is being cancelled because of the views it lacked. theres a certain amount of views a tv show must have in order to stay and sadly ravenswood didn't get enough views (look it up if you dont believe me!). and as you may know, tyler blackburn (caleb) is back on pll. so yeah, that's it. im sorry, im upset too.
anyhow, OMG GUYS GUESS WHAT!?!?!?! IM GONNA GO SEE 1D NEXT FRIDAY!!!!! IM SO FLIPPIN EXCITED, LIKE I CANT EVEN! NO ONE TOUCH ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! hey if any of you live around houston, texas and are going to the boys concert at reliant stadium next weekend (august 22nd) i would love to meet some of you. just dm me or comment below:) LOVE YALL SO FREAKING MUCH!
qotd: what state do you live in? a: TEXAS BAE!
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Love ya mah curlyfries!
~lindsey