꧁~•~꧂
Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas
Lucky is he who has been able to understand the causes of things.
Virgil, Georgiacs, Book 2
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🥀 Chapter 19 🥀
Seoul's weather was gloomy and grey that day; though the city presented a solid front, the weather made the busy city less crowded. Taehyung was about to meet his new client for a joint venture business in Italy.
While passing through the club's main floor, he spotted the young woman, Tzuyu looking frightened as his friend, Mark, approached her. He was likely to start a conversation with her, but she seemed so frightened from the way her eyes were downcasted submissively.
For that reason, He wondered why she looked extremely helpless whenever men surrounded her. It's not like they are asking her more than that. His friend Mark, a man oozing nothing but friendliness, was just trying to start a conversation.
Flirt? His face looked too kind to even be considered as a man with perverting thoughts.
She ran her hand up and down her arm, indicating clearly that she was scared and uncomfortable.
Sighing at the view, he walked towards them and patted Mark's shoulder,
"Hey, Mark."
"Hey, man!" Mark replied with his usual smile.
Tzuyu was shocked at the same time, glad. She knew that Taehyung was trying to help her by the way he looked at her. He always does this, saving her a few times. After Mark left them, he turned to look at her.
"Here, take this." He stretched his arm out to her with his jacket in his hand. She hesitates for relatively short seconds, which causes him to sigh lazily.
"Just put this on. I have work to do."
She took it Hesitantly, and when she touched it, she felt the fabric soft against her fingers.
Her cheeks flushed red, wrapping her arms around herself, enjoying the warmth and the smell of his perfume against her skin.
"Thank you, but how about you, aren't you cold? I mean-"
"Don't worry about me," roaming his hand in his pocket, he searched for his phone while his eyes wandered on the crowd searching for Jimin.
Observing the timid woman, something was making him pique about her. From her looks and mannerism, it seems that she belonged to some wealthy family, not this place. His brows furrowed curiously at her; " Tell me the truth, why are you even here? Don't you have your own family?"
For a second, a shock passed due to the sudden question of her boss. But, truthfully, from the gossips circulated by the club, he rarely talks to his employees.
And, unknown to him, she's a daughter of the Choi family, a well-known businessman. He owns a pharmaceutical company but not as big as V's Corporation. Despite his age, his father was constantly busy; thus, since he was young, she was placed under her brother care, but her brother developed some obsession over her, tormenting her all these past years.
That thought itself could make her shudder in fear.
After a careful plan, she successfully ran away from his abusive brother. She abandoned everything for her freedom, including her study and life. The fact she wanted to keep it to herself, and although she could go back to her dad, she didn't want to, especially when certain someone had shown her love and care for these three months working in the club. She felt at home here rather than staying with her family.
Masking a lie, she reluctantly answered, "No, I don't. I found this job after Seungri offered me one. Due to my college debt, I thought that this is a good offer for me to earn my own money."
Hearing her answer, he just nodded even though he knew that she was lying straight to his face.
After Finding his phone, he dialled Jimin's number, and within seconds, he answered.
"Jimin, can you give Tzuyu another job other than a waitress? Hmm.., Yes, Okay, I'll call you back."
After he ended his call with Jimin, he turned around, facing her
"After this, you won't be serving people. So, you don't have to be a waitress anymore. I have a business to run, so I didn't want my customer complaining about petty things as simple as a waitress refusing to start a conversation." his voice was calm yet firm in emphasising the last part.
"I agreed to accept you to work here because of my friend's suggestion."
That words somehow hurt her, but his following words made something else follow thereafter.
"But if you need anything, don't hesitate, tell the manager, he will help all the employees. And this job is not for anyone, and as an employer, I didn't want anything wrong to happen to my employees."
Without waiting for her to thank him, he left her, leaving her flushed red. Her lips spread to a massive grin as the unknown happiness bloomed in her heart.
🥀🍁🥀
One week passed, and Taehyung hadn't returned due to the business he was handling directly in Italy. Although, admittedly, she acknowledged that he was beyond pissed that she still works with Namjoon by associating with him.
To his indignation, he was powerless when the involvement of Younha is the sole reason he couldn't do anything.
So, here she is, conducting her charity dinner with Namjoon and Younha.
That night, well-dressed Armani women with their expansive and glittering bags pranced around the decorated ballroom, greeting each other with flukes of glasses accompanying their hands.
The lights glimmer inside the ballroom, enhancing the shimmers of the exquisite dresses of the guests. However, the jewellery adorning their flawless skin is expected to be the main focus of the amiable women when they greet each other.
After all, this is how she imagined an elite dinner would look like.
Tonight is the charity dinner for Joohyun and Namjoon to raise funds for a charity organisation under Younha's company. Initially, the plan was only to conduct a completely simple and non-extravagant dinner, but on the contrary, Younha had planned otherwise.
Thus, tonight's dinner had become a privileged, elite gathering attended by people, mostly those she was not accustomed to.
The thought of the rich puffing out their chests to boost themselves revolts her nature. That's why the hypocritical chatter of indulgence and concern is terrifying and makes her weary most of the time.
After all, everything would come with a return; government tenders project, illegal business and protection from the upperclassmen in return for a favour.
Younha insisted that the socialite conglomerate is hugely beneficial for the charity event, and it wasn't a lie after all.
After contemplating enough, Joohyun agreed that the idea didn't seem so bad to her since it could contribute to charity.
Actually, this can be an attempt to accustom herself to the Taehyung lifestyle. But, of course, being the daughter and the wealthy businessman's wife doesn't help here since she spends half of her life as a normal girl, not lavishly pampered as her father and husband.
With a friendly smile plastered across her face, she pranced towards the guests and greeted the fancy-looking ladies and rich older men with the best representation of Mrs Kim.
Admittedly, in the eyes of the guests, her presence demanded the undivided intention of the night. Dressed in a long blue silk dress with the latest Jimmy Choo cream high heels, Her hair was tied in a single loose ponytail. She shared short friendly chats with guests, and compliments accompanied every word of the guests.
That night started with an opening speech by Younha. Younha placed the drinking glass before daintily standing at the front of the ballroom.
Among the fancy-looking ladies and rich older men, Joohyun stood while wistfully listening to that woman's speech. Then, Joohyun smiled lovingly at Younha, whom she considered her second mother. Madam Younha is full of love, compassion, and happiness despite her husband's tragic death and business bankruptcy.
"You adore my mom that much, aren't you?" Asked Namjoon, who was standing beside her. A playful grin formed on his lips.
"You know how I feel about Younha. She's just... full of life." she chuckled, her eyes glittering.
"I guess that's why it's hard for people not to like her. I mean, look how many friends she has. And I even saw Samsung CEO Oppa, which requires a special connection to invite him to this kind of event. And you know what? She suggested inviting more guests tonight, but I'd insisted on making it up to only 100 people." She added for emphasis.
She wasn't the heiress socialite or even "Old money rich." but Younha made everything possible.
He laughed heartily over how true her mother was in inviting her cliques and circles to this dinner. Gladly, after a few persuasions, Younha listened to his advice to make it as simple as possible.
"Yes, I know. I can't deny that part. And Joohyun, if you're good with my mother, you can quickly get things done. With her connections, you can always seek her help."
"Oppa, how can I ask for help when she'd done a lot to my father and me." she sighed.
"I understand, but I'm just suggesting Joohyun. So I don't want to burden you with that thought."
"I know Oppa, and thank you. I appreciate it."
"I always want to make you happy, Joohyun; you know how much you mean to me." his eyes fluttered on her, mirroring nothing but love which she returned with a smile.
One might think they are compatible young lovers because they smile at each other.
"And true, even after my father's death, she never showed me how it affected her, how much the company was stressing her out. I've got to say that at some point, you resembled her a lot Joohyun...And she kinda hopes that she has a daughter like you, which once I thought that I could grant her." a weak smile formed on his lips. His sadness channelled through his voice.
"Oppa-"A tiny heave rested on her lips as she sensed his heartbroken tone.
"Then again," a cheeky smile appeared, hiding his sadness", with your return, she couldn't stop being all excited to pamper you like her own daughter. " he sensed the awkwardness, the refusal to further, and he changed tack.
"Look at the dinner itself; I've wondered how she got all the time to manage everything on her own, considering how busy she is."
Her face softened a little bit, seemingly glad that the man was smiling, trying his best to accept the written fate bestowed upon them.
Taehyung glanced at his Luis Moinet Mateoris wristwatch to check the time.
'Shit! I'm 30 minutes late.'
It was past 6 when he was rushing from the airport. Then, finally, realisation dawned over him that he was just damn late. For that, He cursed himself for letting the older man at the bar take his precious time when he thought it would be an instant, short meeting.
"Can you drive faster? I'm late," he instructed the driver. The night already breaks into the distance like dark paint washed over the sky.
"And did you buy the gift that I asked for yesterday?"
"I did buy it, Sir. And Mr Charles designed it as promised and thanked him for choosing him to make the necklace. He also sends a pair of the bracelet together with it."
"Okay."
Then, he quickly changed his clothes for dinner at a nearby hotel. At least, he hoped that he is not too late for dinner.
After a shower, he dressed in his usual perusal designer clothes tailored specifically for that night. He had called her assistant to prepare the suit after his wife invited him.
He was not usually like this-eager over women, but people might say otherwise if they could read his mind- because he is crazy over her.
Madly in love with her.
Once he arrived at the venue, most of the guests were eyeing him, adoring the conglomerate's prominent figure prancing his way into the place.
Who wouldn't?
With style, he put on an unconventional, yet comfortable dark Coach suit perfectly fits his popular dark and daring fashion sense of style.
He reeks of wealth, an embodiment of perfection and lust for every woman.
Kim Taehyung wasn't known as the nation-eligible bachelor for nothing. However, his frivolous reputation was on par with his success and accomplishments in the business world. Both ruthless and undeniably charming were part of his image in the business and the real world.
All that was before he married the young beautiful woman Bae Joohyun.
After the marriage, there's no sight of his gossip on tabloids, no rumours of him with another woman.
The public perceived that the marriage had probably changed the man.
Ambled about the ballroom, he searched for his wife among the guests.
Taehyung caught himself eyeing the guests dressed in all sorts of expansive dresses and suits, a sight that he was accustomed to; a sea of familiar faces and much to normal, he would say.
He hoped that he was not that late. The thought of disappointing her made him anxious since she had requested his presence last week.
The first thing he did was to let his eyes brush over the crowd, looking for the person he missed dearly. As his eyes strayed on the crowd, they landed on the figure of his beautiful wife among the guests.
Instantly, he was knocked out of his breath.
A sigh left his lips and a small smile formed on his full lips, finding himself burned by the longing he endured these days.
He studied his wife, and as usual, her face was attenuated and angular, complimenting her milky white skin and shiny black hair. Yet, her ravishing beauty shines, even when she is just seemingly focused on the stage in front of her, doing nothing.
Again and again, fire is thundering against his chest, Evenlonging and desires.
Just when he was about to make his way toward her, he stopped when Namjoon was invited to the small stage to deliver a speech.
Automatically, his feet anchored to the ground.
"First, I would like to thank my beautiful mother, Younha, who constantly supported me for these past years. I love you. Thank you for always believing in me. Your love had prospered my life into something indescribably amazing. My journey through life is the true manifestation of your love and sacrifices because, without it, I cannot continue my journey or even start it, Mother. Thank you."
"Secondly, And most importantly, I should say. I want to thank another beautiful woman who'd given me the meaning of life, patience..and love, Bae Joohyun."
The hold on his glass tightens in a death grip; His knuckles are white. His relaxed expression was broken with a stoic and hurtful grim on his lips. Then, overwhelmed with unfathomable emotions, his eyes started to brim with unshed tears.
'How dare he."
Taehyung noticed how Namjoon's eyes sparkled throughout the speech and how they never left his wife during his speech.
His wife.
"Thank you, Joohyun, for all the memories and times we created together in Switzerland. It was a rough path you took then, but it surprisingly helped you develop yourself as a great artist and a strong woman. Life can be hard, but you have taken the chances. I know it wasn't easy, but You wouldn't be here if you didn't take the big leaps in your life."
Chuckled bitterly, once again, he was hurting all over the place.
"So everyone, thanks again for coming tonight and please enjoy the food. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves tonight. Thank you." He smiled charmingly at the crowd and raised his glass to his eye level, a toast for them followed by a flutter of applause passes in a wave.
Taehyung saw Joohyun clap for Namjoon, cheering and smiling happily for him.
After leaving the front stage, Namjoon came back to stand beside Joohyun.
To add, his anger piqued instantly, beholding Irene laughing softly at Namjoon's while Namjoon thoroughly entranced over the other.
He chuckled bitterly at himself, wondering why he had to rush over here only to have his heart crawling with pain.
What's the point of him cancelling his meeting just to attend this stupid event? Hell, and even more, to witness how she feeds on his wound mercilessly.
Closing his eyes for seconds, he recognised it; it was that pain tearing his heart all over again.
"You're always a damn fool, don't you? Hoping like a damn loser."
His body tensed at the image of her being happy with Namjoon, suffocating every bit of his breath because he knew
he saw that smile;
A smile that resembles happiness and contentment, one he fails to give her throughout their marriage. And fearful of him, she was happy with him because even at the moment, everything was crystal clear.
Her happiness is when she's with Namjoon but not with him.
After grabbing a fluke of glass served by a random waiter, he chugged everything in one breath, fighting the urge to ruin everything tonight.
He wasn't blind nor oblivious over the invisible thread connecting the two of them, which was both revering and nauseating up to his throat.
"I fucking need a drink and a good fuck. Anyone. It can be anyone."
'Yes, it can be anyone. It will stop everything. Fuck!'
But seemingly, his heart, soul and whole body won't only be a person.
Therefore, he was beyond exasperated with his foolish self.
For that, he prepared to leave with his bleeding heart. But the words of Younha stopped his tracks.
On the other side of the ballroom, Joohyun seemed amused by Namjoon jokes. However, the next word Yunha stopped her.
"And now, I would love to invite our beautiful Bae Joohyun to play us a beautiful song." Her smile falters, then disappears after her name is called. Something hot is blocking her throat as panic surged through her.
"Wait." She whispered under her breath, looking at Namjoon, panicked.
"Oh no, Joohyun," Namjoon automatically shook his head in worry as he turned to look at the woman's nervous expression."I'm so sorry, Joohyun I- I didn't remind my mother about this. I didn't know she was planning for you to perform tonight."
All the guests were eyeing her and clapping their hands, waiting for her to come forward. She knew she couldn't say no to how bad it would look in front of the guests.
Lowering his lips to her ear, Namjoon whispered her worriedly.
"You don't have to do this. I can handle this, Joohyun. I can just tell them that you're-"
Her touch on his arm stopped him. Forming a nervous smile, she gazed back at Namjoon;
"It's okay, Oppa. I'm fine."
Space in her heart started to fill with thousands of waves of emotions, battling herself to survive.
Everyone was clapping; everyone's attention was focused mainly on her. Glancing at Madam Younha, she gave an encouraging nod to Joohyun and gestured her to come forward. Then, lifting her nightdress, she bowed politely yet gracefully to the audience. Finally, she conceded.
'Dear God, grant me some strength for the sacrifices I've made.'
All eyes are focused on the graceful figure fluttered to the front of the audience. The blue dress sparkled in the hall, emphasizing every inch of her beauty.
Slowly, the light became dimmer as it only focused on her.
Her gaze floated around the crowd, and instantly, she felt the magnetic force of his stares, the rippling burn gazing at her body.
And everything stilled as their eyes met like a crash.
At that fleeting moment, her eyes eased on her husband, once the man she fell in love with deeply.
In the swarm of beautiful people, the tall masculine figure was standing confidently and as always, he was breathtakingly beautiful. His stares tonight is so cold, chilling despite how she's had accustomed to his coldness.
Then, something in his eyes shifted. The cold eyes burned through her as he waited for her, daring her to play the piano.
His stares conveyed connected right through her, compelling the piece of their vulnerable parts to come connected.
His facial expression betraying nothing like a shock lace with curiosity float on the intensity of his gazes.
Right here and then, the laughter and happening of the dinner were long gone, leaving her with their reality.
No, she didn't want to play the piano in his presence.
Call her weak, but she can't.
Jolted out of her internal thought, her endless eye contact with Taehyung was stopped by Younha voice;
"Joohyun dear, you may start now," Younha said, flashing a dazzling smile.
'No, Bae Joohyun, You can do this. It's not right to embarrass Younha and Namjoon like this...'
Inhaling composure, she took a deep breath and left her fingers to dance on the notes. Once her fingers ran across the piano, her emotions swayed by every note played.
On the other side of the hall, all of his thoughts vanished, the crowd lost along with the rhythm of his heart.
The grips of the glass tightened desperately when notes started playing. Then, in a heartbeat, the remnants of the past began crawling back to the surface, threatening to unleash open all the memories.
He should be leaving the place by now, but he couldn't. His heart refused that, paralysing his body, propelling his feet to stand still, allowing his heart to be tormented again.
'Just leave now. You are not that stupid, aren't you?'
But his body refused to listen to that voice.
Nothing existed but his thundering chest. The melodic music hum across his weak heart, echoing in the rhythm of thousands of emotions, weakening the essence of the strength he builds these years.
Everything flooded back, his love, broken dream, and dark past, when all emotions poured into her notes. The way she squinted her eyebrows and the way she put all of her feelings made his chest tightens; unfathomable feelings enveloped every corner of his existence.
It was there again.
No, it's always there because they never cease to exist.
The intense explosion of beautiful colours spiralling through his existence every time he recalled how happy he was as she was there mending his broken self.
He was physically abused by his stepfather all his life, while his alcoholic mother just watched him hurting without any inch of sympathy.
Therefore, his frustration made the nation of love seem far fetched, an illusion to a human's weak heart.
However, the little girl he first saw at the playground made him understand the meaning of love.
Both had a talent for playing music, specifically the piano; the guitar is always his passion. However, he could quickly learn to play almost any instrument in record time; therefore, they are connected through music.
"This song is ours. It expresses how much I miss you and always wanted you, Tae."
"I want to love you. Please. I want you."
The unbidden image of her floods by, plunging by the vivid memories of her touch. Her fingers- long and soft trailed across his skin. Her soft lips grazed his lips, intertwined with promises.
All are too easy to remember.
"Please.., Don't let go of my hand. I promise to stand beside you along the road. We can do this."
That broken promises, his hopeless dreams.
Each note was perfect. His heart heaved for every note played, bringing him back to the memories of the endless road of abyss and pain.
"Taehyung, this is our song. This is a song that will always remind me of us, of our love. So, please, don't you dare give up. "
Once they were young, they were deeply in love.
The torment of separation has never crossed his mind.
And the aftermath of it, how much the taste of heartbreak would crumble every piece of strength that pushed him to stay alive, stabbing the fortitude of life he built, he never imagined the pain.
To him, she was like home. A home where there is always a light and the air is warm. She was the home that protected him from all the ugly and scary things in life. From him turning into a monster that she was afraid of,
The current Kim Taehyung.
"Every time you listen to this song, just remember, look into my eyes, and then you know how much I love you."
It was a moment of weakness when the notes sent a wave of torture inside him. The grips on the glass tightened as he frantically-desperately tried to contain the pain, but still, a question lingered on his mind,
Does she still love him?
A part of him even wondered; Is there a space in her heart left for him?
Thus, he has to look into her eyes, across her countenance. Just to know her feelings, her raw emotions for him.
Music is her vulnerability, and he wants to see all of it.
As he listened, she never missed a note, his heart beating profusely with the rising tempo.
He was bereft and enchanted.
Is it because she is actually pouring her feelings towards him right now? Did she still love him like the way she felt back then?
Because no matter how much she hurts him, how much she pushed him away, whatever she does, because as fool as he can be, he will always come back for her.
The audiences were stunned by the way the music played. Her emotions were apparent from the way the notes played gracefully along with her fingers. Her eyes told a story, a past—the mix of emotions between sadness and happiness.
As soon as her fingers ended the last note, the place resonated with applause, and the guests' eyes flickered with astonishment and awe.
Together with that, her fingers started to tremble, and her breath becomes shallow, deep into her sorrows.
Suddenly the brain alert that Taehyung watched her played the entire song, unyielding from her emotional feelings.
'No, Joohyun, what have you done? Please. Don't let him see through me. I'm begging you.
Mentally blamed herself for being carried away with her emotions; she let people see her feelings.
But she realised it.
When that moment happens, she makes a crucial mistake, and then it's gone, and the chance to do anything about it is blown away. She hates it, her past bombarding her mind like a train of wrecked memories. That's why she hated the piano, this song, her past.
The piano has always been her weakness, but her mother would say otherwise. So instead, it was her strength, a beautiful gift, a medium for her to let her emotions known.
That's why she sent her to piano class to think that it could be some of a medium for her daughter, knowing how hard her daughter in expressing her thoughts and feelings.
"You are gifted with a beautiful talent, perfecting the part of you that you think is a weakness. Not being able to express is not always a weakness, dear."
She smiled at Joohyun, knowing how much her daughter resembled herself.
"It just makes you love differently. Your response might be different, but the love in your heart matters. One can tell your feelings when you're with the piano. People will fall in love with you once you start playing the piano, and what more Taehyung dear. I'm sure Taehyung can see it, enamoured even."
But for her, Unlike her paintings that are abstract and complex, music became a part of vulnerability. Her eyes would dance in the colour of emotions she rarely shows to people.
How many times she had experienced the same agonising feelings, to let her drawn back into the pit of hollowness, lured her in, relentlessly, again and again.
She was too frightened to lift her gaze from the white piano.
Her eyes trembled; she didn't have the power to lift her head, knowing that he could see her emotions even in a fleeting flash across her countenance.
Yes, she's a coward.
But cowardness makes people alive, the reason that she is alive.
Sweats started to form on her forehead, and her hands were shaking heavily.
In pure stillness consumed her entire being, her eyelids clamped shut, and suddenly the audiences' clapping grew distant. She trembled all over as her heartbeat increased faster and louder.
On the other side of the hall, Namjoon realised she needs to step in. Hence, he walked towards her seeing that Joohyun was motionless. The way she kept her head down despite the applause and murmurs among the guest alerted him that she was on the verge of a breakdown.
Suddenly, he hooked her arm around her shoulders and hastily brought her out of the hall.
Under his touch, he could feel how her body trembled and shook. Then, giving a slight bow to the guests, they exited the ballroom and went straight into the lift.
After entering the elevator, he pressed the building's highest floor, far from the crowd, with an open space for her to calm herself.
Once they reached the building's top floor, he turned to look at her when she quickly released her body from his touch. Then, seeing her skin exposed, he placed his coat on her shoulder. Following that, she hugged herself, cradling them with her shaking hands.
Her eyes were still downcast, and slowly, she descended to her sorrow, painful feelings canvassing her entire being,
Namjoon held the woman's shoulder, helping her to calm down.
"Joohyun, are you okay? Try to calm yourself. Breath, Breath..."
She quivered. Drew in deep breaths as she waited for her heart to calm down. And it failed.
With a quivering voice, her helpless eyes gazed at Namjoon;
"Oppa, how can love make one feel so powerless and helpless?" She asked, clutching the suit protectively to her chest.
"I thought it was love, but why am I hurting like this?"
"Joohyun, please-" shaking his head, he pleaded, not wanting her to continue blaming herself.
"No, it's just a song, why-why I'm feeling like this. All the things were coming back. It was so clear-" She choked, holding her cry by biting her lips, a diamond of tears waiting to fall on her cheeks.
Before he could respond, her voice stopped him;
"Oppa, I hurt him deeply back then with the harshest words possible. I pushed him away as much as I could. But- but he still came back to me again. And you know what's hurt the most? He came back with the attention to hurt me in any possible way, and I couldn't even blame him since it was my fault, to begin with."
Sometimes, she wondered when all of this would end.
"Everything was my fault."
What if-
What if she just let the people around her hurt her happiness- leaving her father's company down for her godforsaken selfishness?
Her selfishness in wanting to be happy.
Will it be better for both of them?
No marriage to torture them again. No, secrets to torment them.
The secrets? The unanswered questions?
Just leave them as his painful memories because she's sure they can live through them because memories will dissipate, time will take everything.
Joohyun sniffled, wiping her tears hastily. "I gave him those wounds. I should not have met him. I should not have allowed him to come back into my life. But, Oppa, I'm regretting this, the whole marriage, and - I don't see the whole point of our suffering. I just want to end all of this."
Once again, she damned herself, snatched into the past she wants to forget. The vivid flashes of her memories kept flooding back, like a storm, a tsunami. It was like a dizzy spell; they made her weak and worn out.
She's tired; she needs a rest.
"You know that it was never your fault Joohyun." he sighed. "In life, we tend to choose what's best for ourselves. In some aspects, it might seem selfish. And you, Joohyun, you made it even without thinking for yourself even though You know how much that costs you, yet you've never been selfish."
Slowly, he hugged her in his arm, comforting her.
Then it appeared again; it was that hope again that he could be her elixir, her medicine that cures her wounds.
Some people will ask, why can't she bring closure to her misery?
But honestly, one can't understand her when they are not in her shoes. One can't know when they are not with her character because, for someone like Joohyun, it will never be easy to solve her inner conflicts.
Everyone suffers differently and reacts to them differently.
"Shh..., It's okay. You can cry."
With that, he let her calm herself down while letting himself wash over the twinkling stars in the sky, unyielding the night from kissing, billowing his skin with its cold breeze.
"I constantly heard people say that we live with the strength of our memories, of course; we can also die in the whirlwind of them. Like me, I'm living with the memory of my father despite what happened to him. I survived by my memories with you, Joohyun, when you never returned my feelings." He smiled bitterly.
Not everything changed; he was still consumed by sadness and heartbreak. Now, he was waiting for a miracle, not a mere mirage.
"And truth be told, I'm okay with that. But either way, I made that choice for my life. So I have to make choices for myself, for my insanity Joohyun. If not, I'm going to fall in that depth of sorrow, and if I did fall, I'm not sure if I'm capable of coming out alive."
For that, her glassy eyes softened as they met his, and her heart constricted even more to cause such despair in him. Namjoon, on the other hand, laughed a little, surprisingly, looked calm and collected.
"So, it's all on you. I know that you are capable of creating memories again. You just have to collect happy, joyful, and good ones. Keep them as the strength to keep living and, most importantly, being happy. I want you to at least try."
Slowly he held her face and wiped her cheeks. He stared at the woman before him. That eyes are so beautiful, so mesmerising yet.
So damaged.
He always thought that time could heal her heart, but what if the scars remained?
Her broken voice is robbing him of his breath. Who wouldn't when she is the source of his happiness, the gravity that will always connect his soul?
Namjoon drew a breath before continuing, "I love you, Joohyun, but I also want you to feel love again. At least try it with anyone; you wouldn't know your end if you didn't try to walk on that road again. Someday and somehow, sooner or later, you will find the end of the road your life leads you."
"There might be him or even someone else waiting for you at the last stop; that's what we call fate and destiny."
Soothingly brushed her bangs on her skin, he looked straight into the teary eyes, channelling his hope for her life, the one he loved dearly.
"But how can you know if you didn't start the journey called life."
❄️