❝Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song
I'm just a sad song...❞
— WE THE KINGS —
THE days became longer. They dragged out and, the more they did, the more that I slowly became a cocoon with an unbreakable shell.
I would go to work and do what I had to, all while being around Tommaso. Then, when it was all over and Victoria Valentine was back to being Nicole Swan, I was back to being my depressed self.
Johnny and Candice soon realized it, too, that something happened between myself and Tommaso. However, they couldn't figure out why, though. I wouldn't tell Candice and Tommaso apparently wouldn't tell Johnny, either.
All they needed to know was that... Without him, I am nothing. How pitiful is that? I thought that I would feel that way without Pete, not Tommaso. I don't know just how I feel anymore, but I do know one thing is for sure... I need to clear the air and make amends, even with those who I don't want to right now.
I don't know if it's because it has been two weeks since everything went down between myself and Tommaso, but I want to do something bizarre today to start off the making amends challenge that I have given myself.
I whipped out my phone and began to text on it to someone, hoping for a quick reply.
WE decided to meet in the Orlando Park, which was local and public, so that Pete isn't tempted to do anything. I will never get back together with him, even if I was desperate to.
I spotted him sitting on a bench, not currently looking my way and just staring across the park. I slowly approached the bench and, when I did, he went to get up and I just shook my head and held my hand up.
He nodded and sat down, so I sat next to him and kept our distance safe. I didn't know where to begin, but I knew that we had to at some point or another. Would I begin, or would he?
"I suppose that I'll start," I gulped down and sighed afterwards, placing my hands out on my knees. "Just so it's clear, though, we are not getting back together again."
He smirked and pointed out: "But we always do."
"Yeah, but not today or ever again, for that matter," I countered and he stared at me, not believing my sudden rush of words. "What you did to me isn't okay, just so you know."
"I know that it wasn't," he agreed, which surprised me at how mature he was being about all of this. "I never said it was, Nik."
"You broke my heart," I pointed out and glanced over at me. "But, then again... Maybe I broke my own heart, too." He was definitely staring now, trying to predict what I was about to say before I said it. "I broke my own heart when I chose to take you back each and every time that you cheated on me. I broke my own heart when I chose to love you through hell and high-water. I thought, like only an idiot would, that we would just become closer after every fight. We didn't, though, Pete, because you just don't know how to settle. I would've done anything for you and you just couldn't keep your fucking dick in your pants!"
Maybe I went a little too crazy there at the end, but I meant every word that I said, though. He couldn't believe my anger, but maybe he could understand it, though.
"I could've possibly forgiven you yet again if it was with some random girl, but," I paused and took a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed for the next part, "it was Bianca this time, who was my best friend." I reopened my eyes and continued: "I don't know how it happened — much less do I wanna know — but I feel like you were in the driver seat with this one."
"It takes two to tangle," he pointed out and he was absolutely right. "She felt bad about it, especially after it was all said and done. She cried and screamed, hit me between the legs, and told me to get out and to never come back. She chose to tell you, though. I'm surprised it only took her three weeks to tell you than right after it happened over the phone."
Bianca was eating herself away at this. I know, from experience, she was. This past Wednesday, when I saw her backstage at NXT, she didn't look so good. She's becoming weaker and weaker, by just the looks of it. She was next on my list, but not before I talk to Trev.
"Pete?" I squeaked out his name and he glanced over at me. "I don't want to get back together."
He slowly nodded and scratched the back of his head, then sighed. "I know... And, it's okay. What I did wasn't okay, not even in the least. I can only hope that... You don't hold it against me forever, y'know? Like, maybe we can coexist again."
I couldn't believe this sudden words and how mature they were when he said them. I would like that, too, but with my very own requests, though.
I slowly nodded and agreed: "I don't even think that I could ever be your friend, either, but... We could try, but we can never be anything more than that, though."
Pete nodded and stood up, and I followed and stood up, too. We faced each other and he reached out his hand to mine. I glanced up from his hand to his face, trying to figure out if this was necessary or not. Yet, he looked fully serious, so — after rolling my eyes — I huffed and shook his head.
All is forgiven, as to say; so, then, we go our separate ways as, I'm starting to walk away, I somewhat feel satisfied that we have had our talk. However I am not ready to talk to Bianca just yet. I will in a few days, though, after I have had time to talk to Trever one-on-one.
TWO DAYS LATER
I had been pacing the world for more than ten minutes when waiting on Trevor. This was the night that we were going to talk this out correctly, just us two.
Finally, I decided to just sit down and wait on him like that. So, I sat down on the bench and used the other one to hold my foot up, so that I could tighten up my shoelaces. It would keep my mind occupied for time-being.
I heard a small knock on the door and, so, my ass spun around on the bench to face the opened door. Trevor walked in with caution, but, nevertheless, with a calm smile.
"Hey, Nik," he said and I noticed that he was already dressed for the night in his normal attire and vest. "What's up?"
I motioned towards the spot next to me on the bench and breathed out: "Take a seat. Any seat."
"Okay," he chuckled and sat in front of me, since my legs were split and on each side of the bench like his was at the moment. "I like this seat right here."
"Good choice," I commented and smirked. "I asked you here, so that we could talk everything out. I have been actually avoiding it because it seems like it may be an awkward conversation."
He shook his head and tried saying: "It doesn't have to be, Nik. What happened... Happened. We can either avoid it altogether or we can talk about it, so that we can help each other cope."
He had a very valid point and I couldn't agree more, so I slowly nodded and added: "I totally agree, so... Let's talk it out."
"Let's do it," he said and nodded. "Well, I didn't like Bianca in the beginning of our relationship. She was always my friend or, well, my stalker." I smiled to that and he did, too. "Either way, she was always there and trying to get with me, even if I kept rejecting her. To be honest with you, Nik, I always had my eyes on one certain person."
"Trevor..."
"But, that girl, she...," his voice trailed of as he sighed and tried to get himself to talk about it again. "She was in love with one guy, who just kept stabbing her in the back time and time again. Then, I was there for her and I tried my very best to comfort her through every single heartbreak. I had to restrain myself well over five years. Can you believe that?"
"Trev, you don't have to say—"
"I was in love with you, Nik," he finally admitted to my face and I held my breath, but I didn't have my facial expression as surprised, though. "Even in the beginning of my relationship with Bianca. Then, we started new and... I told her I loved her. I didn't mean it. Not at first, anyways. But, then, something happened." He smiled at that last part and I wanted to hear what it was about now. "A few nights before the truth came out, we were sitting in the living room and watching The Hangover. We were laughing and, then, she goes like Mr. Chow: 'It's funny because he's fat.' She said it just like him, too. So, we're laughing again and I just look over at her, and... I felt it. I had officially fallen in love with her."
I thought that this was beautiful and, if they were still together, Bianca would've loved hearing this. I do believe that, deep down, she knows that she made a huge mistake when sleeping with Pete. She is still very much in love with Trevor, though.
"Did you tell her that?" I asked, still entranced into the story. I practically had heart-eyes over something that is beyond dead now.
He slowly nodded and confessed: "Yeah. I did. I told her that I loved her and I very much meant it, too. She laughed and, then, she cried. Then, not to be gross, but we had sex that night. Afterwards, I didn't want to let her go."
He was looking down, like he was lost in thought, and blinked a few times. I felt his heart shattering little by little. "But... That's all over now. I kind of deserve it, though, y'know? I just couldn't tell her something that I didn't feel... Until the very last minute. I was in love with her best friend and, in return, she slept with her best friend's fiancé. Makes sense, but you didn't deserve that, Nik. Not again."
"Thank you," I said and he slowly looked up at me through his dark eyelashes. "Thank you for telling me all of that. I really appreciate it."
"You're welcome," he nodded and, then, he leaned in with his arms out. I leaned in, too, and we embraced right then and there.
It was finally over. We had our talk and, now, we can finally move on. Now, it was time to talk to Bianca and to clear the air with her, too.
"NIK!" I heard somebody suddenly scream and I launched off of Trev to look at the door. Johnny was standing here, sweating and heaving. He looked scared and I could tell that his heart was going ninety-to-nothing. "Trev, thank God!"
"Johnny?" I breathed out his name and stood up, while Trev did, too, beside me. "What's wrong?"
"Bianca," he simply said and my whole body froze, as I held my breath. I knew that Trevor was already freaking out, too. "She just collapsed in the middle of the ring out of nowhere in a match against Candice! She's unresponsive and they're loading her up now! I'm going with Candice to the hospital to be with Bianca! Y'all coming?"
"Hell yeah," Trevor instantly replied and, with that said, Johnny took off and Trev went after him. I just stood there as I suddenly couldn't breathe. Trevor noticed and stopped at the door, coming back for me and grabbing my arm and whispered in my ear: "C'mon, Nik. She needs us, now more than ever before."
Somehow, he got me to move, but I died when I heard the news...
• I'm actually crying as I gradually move into this next chapter... Y'all will be, too 😭 All the love .xx 💔 •