••••you must hear this marvelous song by Chavela Vargas
"La Llorona"••••
My body ache as I kneeled on all fours scrubbing the scam this family made. But this was my new normalcy after I was auction off for three thousand dollars.
I was priced.
We were lined up like cattle in front of audience. Men hover around us like farmer buying swine.
This family made sure they received every single penny they spend on me.
So they say.
I'm the nanny, the maid and without being asked I was the young wife without the lawful benefits.
In other words I was the fathers play toy.
Oh what money can buy.
Must be nice to be above the all the aspects of laws.
He did what filthy rich people did, what he wanted.
Entitlement filled every aspect of this home staring with father and ending with the four brats.
I was their "Gracy."
Because their mother ridiculed me in front of them saying I was crazy for keeping her up all with my sorrows.
Eventually I had to silent my screams because the day punishments were worse.
Kneeling on Grain of rice hurt more than forcibly taking by the man of the house. Such a shame I had to pick and chose which one was worse. Him or her
Who knows what number of bought merchandise I was or who knew how many helped raised these children.
But unfortunately I grew to be attached to these children.
Their sweet innocence and sometimes the youngest saved me at night.
Her night terrors keep me safe from my real life terror. Not the the mother mind couple Valiums at night made her useless.
But my new Life came new ideas, some nights without little Nancy nightmares to keep me save came I find ideas to keep me save.
Left over food mix with red gelatin kept him away the sight of my womanly hood was a sight he couldn't stand. He prefer to see me as a pre-adolescent girl than someone turning into a woman.
Survival skills was all I learned.
It wasn't like the woman of the house was even trying to help me, my screams in the beginning only made her nerves worse.
But After a while, it was silenced that consume my very soul.
As usual tonight he sneaked quietly into my room like a snake ready to strike.
As the smell always give him away, cheap cologne mask the drenching smell of cheap tequila. This smell was burned into my nostrils and my memory.
Tonight, silence filled the night like a thousand times in the passed four years.
There's no more pleading or crying for misery tonight.
Just hope and pray he fall asleep before he caused some real pain.
But something about tonight didn't feel right as the door seemed to creaked louder than usual.
A pain came from the pit of stomach, I look out my only window to see the moon was at her brightness tonight but dark clouds cover most of her light.
The smell of rain came lingering into my room instead of the whorish perfume or body odor mix with alcohol.
No!
The air seem to linger of death as he came closer a heavily scent of sulfur begin to fill the room as I cowardly push my body against the headboard shoving my knees against my chest.
My arms instantly wrapped themselves around my legs as I tried to cocoon myself for safety.
The white small curtain moved inwards as a small breeze blew in cooling my heated skin. I looked out again to moon pleading for salvation but like even tu night she taunted me.
My eyes quickly turn away as the floor behind to creak closer and closer with each step he took.
"Muñecitaaaa"
He whispered the little nickname he gave me, doll.
He constantly said I capture his attention with my doll like features and flawless porcelain skin.
Again a other trait I gain from my woman who abandoned me.
Each step he took echo as if hooves clack on the floor, this who I saw a beast.
His silhouette was always the same half man half beast.
A wild imagination that seem to be reality today. Then just as I knew it only took him nine steps to get on the edge of bed , I only heard seven.
And nothing.
Completely dead silence.
But his monstrous silhouette is all that can be seen, but smell of rotten death was right in front of me.
"Muñecitaaaa"
He taunting said again.
This wasn't the man who hug his own children at night showing them an ounce of compassion .
No this was the beast who took me every night.
A real monster that lived in my closet.
Sometimes I wonder if this beast was all part of my childhood imagination but reality set in when I felt his clammy hands grabbing my ankle as his sharpen nails dug into my skin.
"Don't be scared of me, mi Muñeca."
He said as he pulled down to lay on my back.
At distance I see what I think is animal like tail swinging back and forth like a happy dog.
What do I do? Start praying like I usually do or do I give my soul to the devil and beg for his mercy?
But whatever it was I was too late, he slammed his body in top of my ripping the only piece of night clothing I owned as he begin to forcefully enter himself in me.
He heavy breathing and grunting cause bile to begin to form in my mouth.
The pain of his thrust begin to sting more than usual.
"I will give you my soul for the exchange of mercy."
I pled tonight like I never have but this only made look at me with menacing smile as his hands were not wrapping around my throat.
The grunting was louder and thrusted faster and harder as blackness begins to fill before my eyes.
The tears from my eyes stop as I now begin to feel peace and calmness.
I let go of a breath as I was now standing at the far corner of my room.
The moon seemed to have flashed a light in as I saw a beast raping and torturing a young girl. A girl I didn't recognize
"Quite a show, huh?"
A soft feminine voice came from my right as I blinked several times.
Now I was sure I was dreaming.
I gasped at her dark viper eyes that seem be floating in the dark with a floating smile showing sharpen corner teeth while serpent tongue flicking in and out of her dark pump lips.
She was Breath taking beautiful for a woman who was mix with creature.
I quickly saw my own reflection in her marble shiny serpent eyes that flick between red and green when she blinked
"Revenge, as well as love to a woman, is more barbaric than a man."
Were the words that spill out of her mouth a riddle that needs to be solve
A riddle I don't seem to understand and within seconds I was back into my body gasping for air.
The pain was unbearable and I couldn't no longer handle the sudden pain.
Frantically moving my hands all over my sheets, looking for anything to make him stop. I felt a small tiny sewing needle squeezing it with my two fingers while Aiming straight into his right eyes. "AHHHHHH!"
Screaming and cooper smell now filled the room, as he pulled out of me and laid on the floor. I grab my bag and a sheet to cover my bare broken body.
I Quickly began to run outside as my bare feet impacted each rock sending sharp pain to my brain but i couldn't stop. I wouldn't stop
My breathing hitch harder with each step I wasn't going to die today.
I pushed the iron gate out as soft light up streets came to view.
My hands tighten the sheets that cover my bruised up body.
I knew he was going to call the police and they wouldn't save me. Oh no.
I was property
I belong to the beast.
My bare feet ached from all of impacted it took, glass, rocks heated dirt but I kept running this was my only chance.
A lit plaza begin to come to view as I passed long aluminum gates with 'have you seen her posters' covered most of the gates.
A grieving woman stood in the middle of busy tourist attraction, no one paid at attention to her.
I finally looked back to see strobe police lighting reaching the mansion of torture.
I need a plan and I need one now !
Something made me react
"Mamá?"
There she was she quickly turned to face me without any hesitation she drop all of her posters came running towards me with open arms.
No one paid attention to us as they were consume by their own oblivious selfishness.
Her body slammed against me as I close my eyes taking her motherly scent of vanilla and clean linen.
She quickly turns around and there she stood in front me with salt and pepper pin-up bum with glossy red eyes fill with despair and PAIN! The pain I knew like it's my best friend.
I waited for a slap or punch anything to confirm I was lying but nothing came.
"Como te extrañen.
(oh how I miss you)
come let's go home."
Once again I sat in a car where it all begin but this time I was being driven out of this miserable place.
There are no lights to count .
Nothing
But at least there was no silence.
Pedro Infimate music blasted through the radio as my newly found mother hearty voice came in mimicking he's low and high peaks of his romanticize voice. At times as I peak away from the window to look at her joyous face, an expressions I know nothing to very little of while small tears came out of her darken tired eyes . I wanted to ask if she is okay but rejection and realization were too much to bear.
I placed my head against the glass once again as my eye lids felt heavy.
A knock in my window shook in my core while my body jumped out of fear.
"NAME!"
Yelled the man in green with a logo ' The United States of American' border patrol, I look back at my pretend mother and at the guard, "Roberta."
Was all She said I begin to shake my own head agreeing to whatever she said. I knew this could be my downfall and I would end up back in the evil mans hands again.
"She's scared, this is my daughter Roberta Montemayor. We went across to see the dentist, she had a bad toothache and the words are not coming out easily."
She lied.
Again, this was a scene all too familiar but this time I played the part.
I knew if I get to America it would be easier to hide.
I held my cheek pressing my tongue on the inside of my mouth making it seem puffy. "Fine but next time bring a proper Documentation from the doctor office."
"Thank you."
She nodded with agreement.
"Welcome To United States of American"
Plastered proudly and I began to count street lights, 2,3,4,-- 61,62,63,64,65.. Counting seems to calm my brain down. There we were parked in front of a beautiful church, "Come mija, Father Tomas is going to see you before the doctor gets here."
Fuck was he going to ask me a personal question about me as Roberta.
Was she the same girl who was my neighbor for two nights before I was auction off?
Father Tomas seem like a sweet old balding man with a soft warm smile reminding of summer sun.
"Robertá, Mija!"
He spoken with heavenly Spanish accent reminding of mi abuelito, the grandpa I lost when I was a child.
But just as a child I got scared as I quickly sat down to wrap my body up with same protection.
He took a step back giving the scared cornered animal space, he extend his wrinkly hand reaching for the top of my head.
"Mija,I will never hurt you for god teaches us to love. Would you like to confess your sins."
I stayed in the position as I stare at the man beside me, "Confession is only between us, I never break the secret of your confession."
I let go of my legs and as courage filled my body.
"Claro."
He grabs he's beautiful pink rosary with pink stones he whispers a Spanish prayer as I just stare at his black robe with a white collar.
"I don't how to start this. Never done confession but here goes nothing."
Why did I agree to something I had no clue what to do. I try to sit and think of all words I want to say .
" In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was ...I never done one but hmmm . I confess that I've taken things that are not mine......"
*flashbacks*
( I hate doing laundry but on the positive note, finding lose change helped me to get closer and closer to my goal in leaving this prison )
"Said more than one lie to people...."
( "why does mommy leave us every day?" asked the youngest of the girls children Olivia with tears on her eyes as I tried to read her a bedtime story. "Aww cariño, Its because of work, but she loves you." That little white lie helps her sleep every time.)
" .... I have lusted over things ..."
( After thousand times of him crawling into my bed, this night my body did something I never dreamed it would do. It enjoyed the thrust and heated body above me as warm fluid escape my body and huge smile escape his mouth as my body twitched from pleasure)
"I have paid for my sins and I know I will always be in debt."
Tears drop from my face as my heartache is welcoming the agony from all the memories that flashed in my mind.
"God always loves, he loves everyone and seek him out. He will always be there even at your darkest moments."
Will he? If so why has he betray me?
•••••••🌹A/N••••••
Hola amores, Any art you see in this story is not done by me. If there any information about the art it will be post up. The graffiti one is actually in Mexico. This story is being written on my computer and I will post 2x a week also there will be chapters on private you need to follow! Thx please 🌟 vote! Please enjoy the song it's heartwarming and beautifully done by a marvelous woman.
-xoxox
Revise 2/21