I can feel Levi's eyes on me, scorching like an open flame would, but I tried my best to ignore it; even going to extreme measures such as trying to hide behind a curtain of hair. Of course, my attempts were futile, and Levi kept watching me even over the top of his tea cup. I knew what I looked like when I came down for breakfast this morning, facer paler than usual, eyes almost dead and everything about me seemed....dead.
"Sakura,"Levi says in his usual deadpan way, my head snaps up instinctively,"Come with me." He places his tea cup on its respective saucer and stands up, I look down at the table not wanting to move, but knowing I have no other choice. Eren's eyes burned into my back as I walked away, concern rolling off of the male in waves. I tired to straighten out my expression tried desperately to seem like nothing was wrong, but I knew better. Levi would look through my fake smiles and laughs with ease, nothing could get past the smaller male.
He led me, silently, through the hallways until we reached his make shift office,"Take a seat." He says and motions at the seats that are positioned in front of his paper covered desk.
I hesitantly take a seat and eye the Lance Corporal suspiciously,"What is it that you wanted, sir?" Inwardly, I flinch at the sound of my voice that sounds emotionless even to my own ears.
He watches me, every move I make is calculated and registered with his keen silver eyes,"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demands.
I blink in fake surprise and reply almost too fast,"Nothing, sir, I'm just tired."
"Don't try to feed me that bullshit." He growls, eyes narrowing.
"I'm not!" I defend myself quickly, knowing that if I even tell him about the devastating letter I received this morning that he'll tell Erwin. And I definitely can't have that.
"Sakura," He snaps,"You're a horrible liar."
"I'm not lying." I growl, narrowing my own eyes.
He snorts,"Yeah, whatever."
We have a stare off, our eyes burning into each other's. He doesn't look like he is going to back down until I give in, but then, I am not going to back down. Not even an inch. He leans back against his chair and folds his arms across his chest, clicking his tongue a couple times it seems like he's finally realizing that I'm not going to tell him what's going on,"Go get ready for training brat." He mutters darkly.
Relief washes through me like a tidal wave,"Yes, sir." I say and stand up to salute him and leave. Again, his eyes watch my every move until his door is blocking his penetrating gaze and allows me to take a deep breath.
Petra is patiently waiting for me at the foot of the foyer steps, she is casually leaning against the railing arms folded over her chest and a gentle smile on her face,"Everything okay?" She asks with a gentle tone of voice.
I flash her a smile that I know doesn't reach my eyes,"Yeah, everything's fine."
She gently grabs my elbow to stop me from sweeping out the doors to join the boys,"I know better, Sakura," She whispers her eyes shining with worry and concern,"Something happened."
My throat closes up and a tight fake smile automatically takes over my bland features,"Nothing happened, Petra." I attempt to persuade her, just like Levi,"I'm just tired, is all."
Her eyes harden slightly, accusation swamping her face, but her grip lessens and she steps back with a shy,"Alright," she whispers,"just make sure you get more sleep, okay?"
I grin and this time it's genuine,"I will, thanks Petra."
With pursed lips and slightly narrowed eyes she hums in acknowledgement before turning on her heel and walking outside. Leaving me standing at the foot of the stairs, baffled and confused. I understand that everybody is worried for me, I mean this squad is like my family, like we are all brothers and sisters and Levi is the rude overprotective and guarded older brother. But, I can't and won't dump my 'relationship' problems on them; especially since the 'relationship' I do have is looked down on and ridiculed by many. I'm lucky to get as far as I am now, people could have noticed before and I, most likely, wouldn't have even been warned. Now that I have been warned and the full realization of what all Erwin could lose, what all I could lose is like a blow to the chest. I won't allow Erwin to get yanked down, not while I'm breathing, he's the love of my life and I wouldn't be able to stand seeing him destroyed. Then again he would be devastated for me to leave, so really my hands are tied. Either I can stay with him and watch his downfall or I can pull away from him and watch his heartbreak from afar. A trembling and troubled sigh leaves my lips, I'm at a complete loss and have no where to turn.
Eren was waiting, impatiently, for me on the front step; his arms were crossed over his chest and he was eyeing the other squad members with a complicated look. I stand next to him and shove my hands into my pockets,"They're something aren't they?" I ask, quietly enough so they can't hear.
Eren jumps, startled,"S-Sakura!" He calls out in shock.
I offer him a small smile,"What do you think, Eren? All these sudden changes?"
His facial expression changes to serious and he turns his head to watch the squad spar,"It's definitely.....challenging." He mutters.
I lean against the wall next to the door and raise an eyebrow,"Challenging?" I ask curiously,"How so?"
"Well, I always thought I would start you know..." He pauses, searching for the right words.
"As a new recruit in the Survey Corps, surrounded by friends instead of veterans?" I offer.
He nods his head,"Yeah," his voice sounds distant,"but then I'm suddenly a....shifter and I'm so dangerous."
"I don't think your dangerous," he turns his head toward me eyes wide with shock,"I mean, yeah you're...different, but your still the Eren I know and love. Just because you have this power doesn't mean you've changed."
He smiles,"Thanks Sakura." He says with a lighter tone of voice.
I grin,"Anytime, Eren." I gently grab his hand and tug him down the steps,"Now come on, I'll help you limber up."
He seems slightly cautious, but gives in and allows me to stretch and spar with him. It was obvious that he didn't expect my sudden aggressiveness toward him, but he easily dodged them and swooped in with his own moves. What threw me off was his fighting stance, he raised his fists so they were right above his head, his forearms frame his face and he kept his left leg loose so he could easily make a kick at me. His form reminded me of a bored girl from the Trainee Corps, Annie Leonhart. The girl always made my skin crawl not with anger but with suspicion. The way she seemed to not care and always stuck as close to Reiner and Bertholdt, she was definitely a suspicious character. Just as I was about to land a devastating blow on Eren's stomach the doors of the HQ bang open and standing in the entrance is the unhappy looking Corporal.
His silver eyes ran over us,"Alright brats," He sneers and walks down the steps at a leisurely pace,"We have an expedition coming up in a month and we have to make sure Eren is ready."
Slowly we all gather around him,"So we have to work extra hard." Oluo mutters with a dry tone of voice. He shoots a glare in Eren's direction, in response I shoot him a 'I'm going to hurt you' look. Oluo looks slightly surprised that I took up for him and clicks his tongue in annoyance.
'He's definitely a... bigger version of Levi' I think to myself.
"Oluo, another dry comment from you and you will clean the HQ top to bottom for the next week." Levi growls then bends down and rolls out a piece of paper. A pen suddenly materializes out of thin air and he begins to point at the words on the paper.
"Because of this sudden time crunch we have to amp up the training," he starts,"Petra you will be in charge of insuring the newest brat knows the formation," Petra nods her head in understanding,"Eldo and Gunther will make sure he can use maneuvering gear. And Eren," he looks up his silver eyes accusing,"Do NOT resort to your power unless it's an emergency."
I arch an eyebrow,"Corporal, what would you wish for Oluo and I?"
He looks up, registers the still dead eyes and clicks his tongue,"You guys just train regularly with maneuvering gear."
"I have to train with her?!" Oluo cries with a disdainful look.
"Oh Oluo," I say with a smirk,"The only reason you don't want to is because you know you'll get beat."
"Not true!" He yells and shakes a balled fist at me.
"Then there shouldn't be a problem." Levi says and stands up, dusting off his pants with an irritated click of his tongue.
I glance at Eren,"Be careful, Eren."
He nods, but doesn't look at me instead he eyes the veterans in front of him with a worried look,"You too, Sakura."
I follow behind Levi and Oluo, right as I pass Erd I whisper,"Take it easy on him, okay?"
He smirks,"No promises." He whispers back.
I shake my head and continue on my way, Oluo sprints forward, his swords drawn,"Try to stay caught up, Sakura!" He bellows over his shoulder.
I pull my hand grips free and spring forward, grappling into the trees,"There is no try!" I reply as I zip past him.
------*------*------
Petra carries in the trays of food, her usual happy smile on her face, she sets a bowl of soup in front of us along with a loaf of bread,"I tried to get as much flavor into as I can." She says,"But its almost impossible to do with this... stuff."
No one says a word and silently we eat, the only sound is the sound of our spoons clinking against our bowls. I notice out of the corner of my eye Levi is constantly glancing at the door of the HQ, irritation growing on his face with each passing moment.
"Are you expecting someone, Corporal?" I ask with a raised brow.
He shakes his head and takes a drink out of his tea cup,"Damned four eyes is late." He mutters underneath his breath.
"Hanji's coming?" I ask slightly surprised.
"I have arrived!" An easily recognizable and cheerful voice cries from the other side of the door. She sweeps into room a crazed smile on her face and instantly looks in Eren's direction, her eyes glint dangerously.
"There you are, fucking four eyes."Levi growls and takes another sip from his tea cup.
Hanji ignores him and walks forward, with each step she takes the excitement in her eyes grow,"Eren," she says her tone cheerful,"Would you like to help me tomorrow do some experiments on our captured Titan friends?"
Eren seems shocked, his eyes wide,"Um...it's not my choice..."
Hanji spins to face Levi, clasping her hands in front of her in a pleading manner,"Levi, what is Eren supposed to be doing tomorrow?"
"He's supposed to be cleaning the courtyard."
Hanji grins triumphantly,"So you're not busy,"Hanji exclaims,"Eren? What do you say?"
"I guess," He says warily,"But what is it that we are going to experiment?"
I hiss and shake my head quickly,"You shouldn't have asked that." I murmur low enough for him to hear.
He cocks an eyebrow and with wary eyes watches the corners of Hanji's lips curl upward in a crazed smile,"Hmm? What was that, Eren?"
I sigh and shake my head at him, pity signing in my eyes. It's his problem now, he'll have to deal with her elaborate descriptions,"Poor kid he'll be up all night." Petra mutters and shakes her head, glancing at the closed door over her shoulder.
"It's his problem now,"Oluo growls,"he shouldn't have asked such a stupid question."
"Your so heartless!" Petra cries, glaring at him.
Shaking my head, I lean closer to Eldo,"I'm heading to my room; you deal with their bickering."
"So you leave me to do the dirty work?" He answers with a gentle laugh.
"Exactly." I reply with a lop sided smile.
Waving at Gunther I turn and disappear down the hallway, it's way too quiet for a Survey Corps HQ. The only sound is the sound of my footfalls echoing off the stone walls, I'm so used to the sound of laughter and constant banter that this place is so foreign to me. Wrapping my arms gently around my frame I take the final turn and almost run to the safety of my room.
I wrap my hand around my doorknob and pause, a small sliver of light is spilling out of my room lighting the hallway. I hear a shuffle from within and my finger twitch for the hand grips of my maneuvering gear, shoving the door open. I stalk in defensively, and stop in my tracks.
Leaning casually against the wall next to my bed with the small note held between his fingers stands Levi. He looks up, his eyes hard and face harder,"What the hell is this?" He scowls, turning the paper around so I can see it, but I know what's written on it. It hasn't left my mind since this morning.
"L-Levi,"I stammer, half in shock,"What are you doing in my room?"
He glares at me,"I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with you." He spat.
I narrow my eyes,"It's none of your business." I snap, offending that he invaded my privacy.
"Do you believe this?" He slams the paper down,"Do you believe this bullshit?"
"It's true,"I growl, the back of my eyes stinging,"So, what is there not to believe?"
"How stupid are you?" I blink in shock,"Your being fucking stupid if you are going to listen to Trent,"He snaps, I gape at him,"Screw the rules, Erwin cares for you just like you care for him. So don't you dare fucking leave him."
The stinging behind my eyes grows stronger and I have to blink my eyes constantly to get rid of it,"B-but the rules-"
Levi stalks forward and grabs my collar yanking me down so we're at eye level,"He'll loss everything, yes, but you're his everything you shithead."
As quickly as he grabbed me he releases me and steps around me to stand in the doorway,"Get your head screwed on straight." He growls and slams the door behind him.
I stand there, silent, and in shock; Levi actually cares. He shows it in his own weird way, but still, it's obvious he at least cares a tiny bit. My body is numb as I slide down a wall to sit with my arms wrapped tightly around my legs.
Levi's right....I..I can't leave Erwin and I won't. Screw the rules, Erwin means more to me than anything and I'm not letting him go. I gather myself and shove myself back to my slightly shaking legs, stalking toward the note I grab it and crumple it up in my fist. With a gleeful smile I turn and sling it into the garbage, fuck Trent and his warning.
------*------*------
I awoke the next morning feeling better than ever, the note that has been wrapped around my heart is gone and I don't feel like a walking piece of lead anymore. Quickly I dressed and walked down the stairs to attend to my horse, Kurodayu seems happy to see me.
Neighing happily and pawing at the ground with his hoof. With a laugh I walk up and run my hand down his neck,"Good morning!" I say with a happy tone.
Suddenly, the front doors of the HQ bang open and out charges a unhappy looking Hanji. Levi and the rest of the squad is directly behind her, trying desperately to calm her down.
"Squad Leader Hanji!" Petra cries as Hanji swings up on top of her horse,"Please calm down! Think rationally!"
Hanji doesn't seem to have heard her, she twists her horse around and digs her heels in the animals sides. Snapping the reins she races off without a glance back, blinking in surprise at Hanji's sudden departure I turn toward Levi with a questioning look.
"Sakura!" Levi yells as he races down the front steps,"Follow Hanji we will be right behind you!"
"Yes, sir!" I say still confused, but not wanting to disobey his orders I swing up on top of Kurodayu and click my tongue.
Kurodayu charges off, we follow behind the trail of aroused dust until we are but a horses length behind Hanji. I call out to her several times to have no reply, not even a glance backwards. We rode for hours until we come to a stop in front of a large tent with twin columns of steam rolling into the air.
"Oh no." I whisper and hop off of Kurodayu to follow after a sprinting squad leader.
She charge in, hollering and barking orders she breaks through a throng of Garrison soldiers and comes to abrupt halt. I walk up behind her and place a reassuring hand on her quivering shoulder, she cries out tears streaming down her face.
"Sawney! Bean!" She cries, falling to her knees. I kneel down next to her and continue to silently reassure her with my presence alone.
After awhile I step back and melt into the crowd, trying to find my squad; I find them regarding the steaming Titan bodies warily. Out of the corner of my eye I see Levi standing next to Erwin, feeling my heart lurch up into my throat I can feel Erwin's azure eyes on me as Levi calls for us to leave.
With a deep breath I turn to face the pair and stalk forward, my heart pounding loudly in my ears and my fists, gently, balled up underneath my cloak. What if Levi told Erwin about the letter?
With a shaky breath I pause beside Erwin and offer him a lop sided reassuring smile, he returns it. His eyes twinkling, relief floods through me and I wink at him before following after my squad; feeling Erwin's eyes in my back until Garrison soldiers separate the two of us.
---A/N---
That took such a long time to write! Bah and I'm still not satisfied with the ending, but I'm going to post it anyway cause I love you guys oh so much!!
I have one question though before I go: Anybody watch Ace of the Diamond? I love that show almost as much as I love Attack on Titan. Let me know in the comments!
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