Empty Thoughts - I

9:03 pm // Sorry I cant Sing This To You In A Song

It's almost like you're some unconditional, unforgettable and always forgivable God,
Like one I can always find at my altar waiting for me to get on my knees and pray to,
One that never strays far from the edges of my thoughts,
The internal universe in my mind where everything in existence bows down to you like you're the one,
The one living in all,
Despite knowing how you're no good at all,
You never saved me from my sins nor have you led me on to a better life,
Though you always seem to make your way carefully back into it every time I think it's over,
So now I'm not so sure if saying this is the end is a good choice of words,
As now I await your return silently wondering if it will only be days or years,
But also silently wondering if I want it,
But I couldn't answer that for you,
Because when you're not around I don't care for you all that much,
But your smile is such an easy fix,
And your laugh is like the Devils fire because it can manipulate me into anything,
But it's not that I want to fall to my knees for you again,
I just know that this is sadly how it works and the story seems to go,
But perhaps I'll look for you someday maybe again,
In someone new that is worthy of all this worship,
But I wouldn't ever try to fall to my knees for you to your own consciousness,
I'll keep that in mine,
It's a shame really,
But it's undeniable that you have shaped me,
In some unexplainable way,
But that's okay,
I suppose,
It doesn't feel okay,
It doesn't feel right,
But this sun never quit rising nor did the rain ever stop,
And those tapping raindrops will keep my tears company,
Because even though you left an empty,
Black hole in my heart,
I'm never alone with your presence anymore in my head,
Because I've allowed new ones to start passing through,
Like a road or highway,
I guess you're presence must just still be stopped at one of the stop lights,
In front of multiple others,
Still waiting on it to turn green so you can take your right turn,
Finish passing through,
And leave my universe behind.