Three weeks. Three weeks of absolutely nothing. Going through the funerals, one after another, two never being together. First it was Stephanie's mom, then her dad, then Matt's dad, mom. I held my tears back through them all, knowing that my best friends needed me. I barely made it through my parents' funeral, it was the hardest thing I could ever do, I was just glad my best friends were there to help me through it. My parents weren't really close to anyone, only a few friends were there, the rest of the crowd were people from The Pit. Both my grandfathers, and my dad's mother were dead, my mom never made contact with her mom after a fight they got into about me. So I didn't have much family to rely on. I stayed in my room half of the day, and cried silently to myself at night. Kian always tried to talk to me, or help distract, but I never seemed into it. For one, my parents were dead, and I knew that if it was us two, our kiss would be a definite topic of discussion. So I kept the conversation to a minimal. I don't know if Kian likes me, I don't know if I like him. He's sweet at times, but he gets an attitude too.
"knock knock" Kian says as he opens the door. I look away from the window and stare at him.
"hey" I whisper.
"Wanna come lay and see the stars with me?" he asks. I don't answer, instead I look away and stare into darkness that's outside. I hear Kian sigh and his footsteps come closer, until he lays next to me by the window. He grabs my hand.
"Mia," he whispers. I fail to give an answer. "Mia, please talk to me" he pleads.
"hey" I whisper again.
"Why?" I look at him as to ask what. "Why are you pushing me away?"
"I'm not" I finally answer, I'm not even sure he hears it.
"Yeah you are, Mia. I don't want you to build this wall between you and me, or anyone." I don't look at him, or answer. "Mia, you don't think anyone understands? What about Stephanie, or Matt? They care. They understand. I understand." he understands?!
"do you?" I say, "do you really Kian? You understand what I'm going through? You fucking know the feeling in my heart, the empty feeling? The pain of knowing that both my parents are now buried six feet underground, lifeless, helpless?!" I stand up, "YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH SIX FUNERALS IN LESS THAN A MONTH?! YOU KNOW THE FEELING OF BEING AN ORPHAN?!" I loose control of myself and break down into tears.
"yeah. Mia. I do know. I know what it's like to do all of that." I look up at him, "I know what it's like to have both parents underground. I know what it's like going through more than enough funerals in less a fucking month. How?! because not only was my mom shot getting something for me, but my father and siblings were murdered in front of me...that same night" I stop crying and look straight at Kian.
"Kia-"
"don't. just, don't. I hate having people pity me. I know I've seen shit and been through some shit, I don't need your sorry" I don't say anything, too shocked to react. Kian sees that, and we embrace each other. Kian doesn't cry, he just holds on to me like it's the last thing he'll do, and I couldn't be any more grateful.
--
A few hours later, Kian is still in my room while we keep each other company. We're laying in my bed, listening to music when a knock on the door is heard.
"Come in" I say as we sit up, and in walks Sam.
"Hey, what are you two up too?" he asks.
"laying...chillin" Kian answers.
"Y'all down to go to a party?" he asks. Something inside of me lights up and I have a sudden urge to go. Strangers, music, dancing, alcohol.
alcohol
It seems so intriguing and I become desperate for it. "would we be allowed to go? Where is it at? Oh my god can we go...please?!" I beg. I look at Kian with pleading eyes.
he shrugs, "I'm down"
Sam lights up and opens the door, "cool! be in bed and ready at midnight," he says, them walks out. Then walks back in, "oh, Matt and Stephanie are joining us."
"wait midnight?!" I ask.
"we can't really sneak out while everyone is up and awake right?" he smirks and I give a nod of understanding.
I happily skip to Steph's room where I find her and Matt reading books.
Cuties.
"Hey!" I chirp.
"Hey" they reply simultaneously.
"You ready for tonight?"
"Oh you know it" Matt says closing his book. He stands up and stretches his body. "You know how long it's been since I partied?! A long time. Last party I went to, I got shit faced, lost you, and almost got arrested, remember?" we chuckle at the memory, "I'm excited, plus I get to let loose for a bit. Something we all need"
"Yeah, besides a few drinks won't kill anyone!" Stephanie chips in. I smile at them and eventually find my way into my room.
--
"Woah," the five of us say in unison. We're all looking at the house in front of our faces..the big...enormous..house?! Seems like a motel considering how many windows and floors there are. There's people in all levels of the building and even more surrounding it outside.
"This is gonna be fucking crazy!" Matt exclaims.
"Then lets get fucking to it!" I holler, followed by cheering and we all head inside.
Walking in, the smell of alcohol and pot doesn't affect me as much as it always did. It's like an adrenaline rush as soon as I get a sniff of it all. With the group trailing behind, I find my way to the keg, and pour everyone and myself a drink.
"Cheers!" I say, and all of our cups click together. I chug down the cup and pour myself another one. Beer was never my favorite, but right now it's like a need for me. It's like water for a fish at the moment, I need it so bad.
"Hey, I see a cute boy I'm gonna go talk to him" Stephanie says before she walks off. Typical Stephanie, but I'm glad to see her being herself again.
"I'm gonna go get some food, anyone wanna join?" Matt asks, and Sam volunteers. So as always, Lawley and I are left together, alone. He turns to look at me and smiles, while taking a hold of my hands.
"Hey" he says.
"hey" I say back, taking another big gulp of my drink, and another until its empty and I pour myself a third cup.
"Hey, calm down. We've been here less than thirty minutes and this is your third drink" he says while taking a hold of my wrist.
"oh Kian chill. It's just a beer, I never drink! Besides, I can handle my alcohol when I DO drink."
"I just want you safe, Mia"
I take a gulp of my drink and look at him, "I'm not a child. I can take care of myself" I snap at him before walking away.
--
"Cani have sum more ples" I slurred to the guy holding the keg, pouring drinks.
"I think you've had enough for tonight babe" he says to me.
"Wuter you talkin bout? I-uh-i had like-thr-two drinks so far" I tried to argue.
"no, actually, you had two drinks in your hands when you walked up twenty minutes ago, and have had like five after that." I mockingly huff at him. "did you come with someone? I can help you find them. It might be time to go home"
"NO! JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER CUP!" I screamed.
"No! you've had en-" the guy was interrupted by a strangers' voice. I look at him and notice it's a guy I saw walking out when we walked in.
"hey man, give the girl a drink. She's with me" he looks at me and winks. Mr. Cranky pants shakes his head but serves me another cup nonetheless.
"thanks!" I say as I walked away.
"Hey, Mia wait" the guys says.
"Yeah?"
"I saw you walking in, and I just-have been wanting to come up to you and introduce myself" I realized he seems really nervous and smile at him. "uh-I'm Thomas" he says.
At this point, I am seeing nothing but blurs and I can barely stand up straight. Thomas was kind enough to lead me to a room while my drunk wore off. We were sitting on bean bags while I spoke nonsense and he just listened. He was really cute, and I just wanted to kiss him.
"Hey, can I do something crazy right now?" I whisper.
"I love crazy" he responds, and before I hesitate, I lean to the side and plant my lips on him. Eventually I find myself on his lap, straddling him.
"Mia, do you want me?" he breaths out as I leave a trace if kisses on his neck. "Do you want me like I want you, Mia?"
"Yeah" I say catching my breath, "so kiss me" I say.
My shirt finds it's way off of my chest and I'm loving everything Thomas is giving me. He kisses my neck and leaves kisses down my chest and in between my breasts. He stands up with me wrapped around him kissing his neck nonstop, and he drops me on the bed. He lays on top of me and we continue to kiss.
I find myself straddling him again and before I take this any further I look at him, "Wait a second" I breath out, "How do you know my name?"
He smirks at me and flips us over, "I know who you are," his grip on my wrist is getting a little tighter as he looks down on me. I kiss him, not even giving a second thought on what he said, "Hold on" he says as he reaches to the side table as grabs something. I'm closing my eyes and I feel his bulge on my thigh, I want him, I don't know him but I just want him.
I open my eyes about to ask what's taking so long, but Thomas beats me to it by throwing a rag over my nose and holding me down. I try screaming but I end up breathing in the toxic in the rag and feel myself getting dizzy.
I see light coming in through the opening door, and two big guys walk in, but that's all I see before I go into a state of unconsciousness.
--