I have déjà vu
PERCY: Looking back wasn't one of my favorite hobbies.
Before our little Hogwarts adventure, when I was my real self, I'd be forced to look back every night when my head hit my pillow. My mind would force me to relive every awful situation I'd been through until I fell asleep. And falling asleep was no escape either, that's when the nightmares continued.
When I'd wake up, things wouldn't be much different. I'd still have the same nervous energy as when I was within the nightmare. I was constantly on edge, waiting for the next prophecy to send my friends and I away to our demise. It wasn't a way to live.
In a way, I could have been a bit grateful for Hera's little experiment. She had given me a fake life with issues ranging as far as quidditch matches and potions essays. It wasn't perfect, of course. In my Hogwarts life, Gabe was still my stepfather. I didn't ask Hera about that, assuming she had only paid attention to the adventurous parts of my life. She probably didn't know or didn't care about the fact that I had a new stepfather, Paul. But I digress.
Getting my memories back was like waking up from another nightmare, disappointed to realize that the scariness of it all was still there.
"Guys!" Jason exclaimed. "Nico just agreed to a hug!"
"I said one hug, Jason. Only one," Nico complained. "Limit of 2 seconds max."
"A synchronized group hug can count as one hug..." Leo thought aloud.
"No, no, no, can I shadow travel out of here and back to camp?" Nico complained, though he didn't.
We all stepped forward and hugged one another. The others joined in as well, Thalia, Reyna, Grover, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Harry. Draco had stayed back at the Slytherin house, falling back asleep before he could join us. He wasn't my favorite person, so I wasn't complaining that he wasn't here.
I was in between Hazel and Jason. Annabeth was across from me in the group. As we locked eyes, she mouthed something.
"You okay?"
Leave it up to Annabeth to figure out my emotions within seconds of them returning. I shrugged it off, not wanting to alarm her.
As we released, Hera coughed a 'can I have your attention' sort of cough.
"We have agreed on one night. You can all stay here for another day, but tonight I will send you home. I will alter all of your memories, erasing the past few weeks. I'm Hogwarts time, it will be the beginning of the school year once more. As for the demigods, time will resume at campfire, the night Leo Valdez returned from Calypso's island."
(A/N: Again, we are ignoring the accurate events of trials of Apollo)
That was the night before we were sent here, I recall. Quite a night that had been. One moment your team is winning at capture the flag, the next moment everybody is screaming about something falling from the sky.
It wasn't just something, it was a large metal dragon. It wasn't falling, it was flying towards camp, carrying Leo and Calypso.
Needless to say, nobody won capture the flag that night. The game never resumed. We spent the rest of the nights setting up lines of people who wanted to punch Leo for scaring us into thinking he was dead. They were long lines. I went twice.
"Oh, so the gods knew I was returning from Calypso's island, but they just turned a blind eye and offered no assistance? That's nice to know." Leo complained.
"What did you expect? They don't care." I replied. Annabeth stared at me for a long moment, her having been the only one who had heard my comment.
"I say we all go to the castle grounds and enjoy our time here while we still can!" Hazel suggested.
"I agree. Some of us can play quidditch against each other, I heard Ron plays a mean game of wizarding chess, I can bring some gobstones, and there's also the option of swimming in the black lake if anybody is brave enough to do that." Frank added.
"I'll race you." Piper announced to Leo and Jason. Before they could reply, she took off and out the door.
"A race? Sweet. We win." Nico said. He grabbed Will and shadow traveled out of the room.
Frank and Hazel took their time, laughing and chatting as they walked to the grounds.
Reyna was a competitor. She took off, probably close to catching up with Piper, Jason, and Leo.
All of Harry's crew, the twins, Ron, and Hermione, also took off, racing each other.
That left Annabeth, Thalia, Grover, and me.
"I'm not wasting my energy on a petty race," Thalia laughed. "I'm saving that energy for when I kick Jason's butt at quidditch. He said he'd teach me to fly a broom. Though, I'm hesitant of course, heights and all...but I'm still going to win."
"I can't believe it." Annabeth said to herself.
"Can't believe what?" Asked Grover.
"The original squad, we've reunited at last." Annabeth linked arms with Thalia and I, Grover linking onto the end beside Thalia.
"Percy, you're awfully quiet over there." Thalia noted. I shrugged.
"Everything okay?" Annabeth asked, repeating her previous question to me.
"Why is everybody so happy?" I blurted out. "You guys realize that after tonight, we're going to forget the first decent weeks we've had in years. And those decent weeks were part of some god's stupid experiment. Even so, we were forced to defeat an enemy that shouldn't have even been our own to tangle with. But I guess I shouldn't worry. Till next time."
"Till next time?" Grover asked.
"You know, till the next time the gods get bored and decide to screw with our lives for no reason...again. It's an endless cycle. It's a game, and we're the pawns. The game repeats itself over and over again and we'll never come out on top, we'll never be the winners."
Annabeth was silent. Grover mumbled an 'oh' to himself. Thalia chuckled.
"Yeah, that's exactly why I joined the hunters. Artemis is one of the rare gods who cares about mortal and demigod lives."
"And she shows that care by forcing you all to fight her battles. Noted." I replied.
"Say anything negative about lady Artemis again, I'll be forced to pulverize you, Jackson." Thalia warned.
"Come on, guys. In the end, all that matters is that we're reunited! The gods will always want to have their entertainment and that sucks and all, but at least we have each other. No use arguing about it."
Thalia unlinked herself from the group.
"You know what? I'm getting an awful sense of déjà vu." Thalia said, passive aggressively. She walked away towards her brother in the quidditch pitch.
Grover sighed.
"We'll catch up later, okay?" Grover ran off to join Thalia.
"Déjà vu?" I asked.
Annabeth unlinked her arm from mine.
"You're sounding and awful lot like Luke is what she's saying." Annabeth explained, saying no more.
"Look, I'm sorry. It's just...after all of this, it makes me wonder if Luke had a point to what he was doing after all. It makes me wonder if we're fighting for the wrong side. All of these monsters are angry because the gods make them. They take it out on us because we represent the gods. If the gods are all-powerful, why are we fighting their battles?" I asked.
"Percy..." she sighed. "You do sound a lot like Luke. He would make comments like these and everybody would shrug them off. I want you to talk to me, okay? I don't want you going down that road."
It was a tempting road to go down. This road had more reasoning than the road I was on. Continuing to fight for the gods, I had no reason to do. Fighting against them, it seemed to make sense.
That's the nightmarish thought that kept me up most nights at camp. Because Annabeth was right, I did sound a lot like Luke. I wondered, if people had listened to Luke's cries for help, if they'd taken him more seriously and had heard what he had to say, would things have turned out differently?
"I love you, Annabeth. You know that."
She nodded.
"Same to you, and you know that."
"I'm just sick of seeing people I love get hurt because of the immortals," I explained. "It just makes you wonder the point of it all."
"You're having the demigod crisis." She noted.
"The what?"
"It's a crisis all demigods go through. I've gone through it myself from time to time. It's the crisis that makes you ask what you're fighting for as why. It's the crisis that makes you wonder if it's all worth it. I know it's a scary thought to have, but you can't brush over it. Think through it, Percy. What are you fighting for?"
It was the same question I had asked before the battle in the graveyard, what are you fighting for?
"For my mom, who's put up with crap from the gods since before I was born. And for you, who's put up with crap from both the godly and mortal side of your life."
She nodded.
"And is it worth it?" She said. "Luke's answer was, no, it's not worth it. That's what sent him down the path his life ended on. If that answer is no for you, then we need to have some serious talking."
My mom and Annabeth. Are they worth taking down an entire army of Kronos' slaves? Are they worth defeating Gaea, and what that cost? Are they worth the best death experiences?
"Yes, what kind of question is that? You two are worth everything." I didn't hesitate to answer.
Annabeth smiled slightly.
"Then that's your answer. Is all of this demigod stuff really worth it? Yes. It's all for a greater good...that greater good doesn't have to be the gods. It can be for yourself, your friends, your family."
I looked out in the distance. Frank and Hazel were playing a rather aggressive game of gobstones. Grover was cheering Jason and Thalia on as Jason was hovering beside Thalia on a broom no more than a few feet off the ground, holding her steady as she tightly closed her eyes. Reyna and Piper were teaching Hermione and Ron how to sword fight in the distance, laughing at Fred and George as they chased each other around with their wands, pretending they were swords. Will and Leo were trying to force Nico into the black lake as he continued to shadow travel away from them.
"Every single one of these individuals is worth everything." I concluded.
"Good answer, seaweed brain," she faced the black lake. "I'll race you to the lake. Chicken fight, Leo and will v.s you and me. We're going to kick some butt."
She took off. I laughed to myself. Of course we were going to kick butt, I was a child of Poseidon. We were sort of at an advantage.
In case you were wondering, Annabeth and I won that chicken fight.
***
We all fell asleep on the grounds, agreeing that sleeping under the stars was a better option than staying cooped up in somebody's common room for a sleepover.
I closed my eyes, thoughts of everything that we'd endured the past few weeks coursing through my head.
We were about to enter an old life, a life that didn't even feel like it was real. A life where Hazel and Annabeth aren't best friends. Where Frank and Will are mere acquaintances. Where the gossip surrounding Piper McClean doesn't involve a ratty blonde called Draco Malfoy. It was a life where I had a brother, Leo had a girlfriend, and we all had a camp waiting for our safe return.
As I drifted off, I looked back at Hogwarts one last time that night. I looked at the place for what felt like the first time. I took in every detail, knowing I would forget all of it in only a short time.
***
I opened my eyes in alarm.
Several thoughts ran through my mind, the first being: why am I covered in mud? The second, why is my head pounding? The third and final thought...did we win?
Things at camp had been gloomy lately. Chiron proposed an emergency capture the flag game with those campers who hadn't gone home to visit their families and the romans, who were visiting. Sure, I probably should have been one of the people to go home. I had went from being missing, to being in Tartarus, and finally to being through a war with Gaea. All the while, my mom was probably praying every night that I was alive. But it was hard for me to stay at home. Whenever I was there, I couldn't help but think about how things were going at camp. Being here eased my worries.
But I digress.
To answer the questions I started out with, I remembered that I was covered in mud because I had taken a hard fall into the camp creek. My head was pounding because on the way down I had hit my head hard on a few loose rocks. Did we win?
I had only attempted to jump across the deep creek to retrieve the other team's flag that was on the other side. When I saw the flag fluttering above me in its same spot, I swore to myself.
I'd given myself a concussion for nothing. I hadn't even gotten the flag.
I tried to stand up. I could have tried to strengthen myself with water, but the creek was as dry as a desert. I'd have to pull myself out with what remaining strength I had.
I could already hear Clarisse's mockery.
A child of Poseidon, bested by what was meant to be a trail for water. What a sad, ironically-bested, loser.
I guess that thought scenario was inaccurate. None of the ares kids were smart enough to know the meaning behind the word ironically.
As I tried to pull myself out I was even more sure that I had a concussion. What I saw before me could have only been brought upon by a concussion-induced.
A great metal dragon landed before me, right on top of where the flag was standing. On top of the dragon were two people. A familiar girl, and Leo Valdez.
"Woah, did I do that to Percy? Damn, Festus. I told you to watch where you land!"
Festus huffed in annoyance.
"He's hurt." Calypso noted, that's who the girl was.
"Yeah, babe. I realized that much." Leo hopped off of the dragon and approached me.
"Crap, it's Percy," he mumbled. "I've nearly killed Percy Jackson!"
"It wasn't you," I stuttered. "I f-fell. Leo, is it really you?"
Did I accidentally kill myself in capture the flag?
"In the flesh." He helped me up. "Let's get you to Solace, he can heal you up."
I leaned on Leo as he helped me into camp. Calypso followed.
"Welcome to camp babe! This right here doesn't happen everyday." Leo insisted.
"You're alive?" I mumbled. Wow, I really was concussed.
"And your head is bleeding!" Leo noted. "Sorry, thought we were listing obvious things."
"You're alive!" I repeated. "Leo Valdez is alive!"
"Alright, no need to draw a crowd." Leo sighed. "Well, I guess that's what I'm about to do anyway. WE NEED A HEALER!"
"I'm on it!" A voice called from the distance. Will and Nico emerged from the woods. The Apollo cabin had teamed up with the Hades cabin, which wasn't of much use anyway, since Nico just followed Will around the whole time as he healed people.
"Oh my gods..." Nico was gaping. The two of them stopped in their tracks.
"Leo?" Nico asked. "Is it really you?"
"Yeah, we've been over this. Me: alive. Him: bleeding from his skull. Will, duty calls." Leo said.
"I-I'm on it." Will began to heal me as Nico stared at Leo in awe.
"I felt it, you were dead. You were 100% dead." Nico noted.
"I mean, so was Hazel at one point. Now I'm a part of the zombies club, go me."
"Leo's alive!" Some camper shouted, a member of the Hephaestus cabin.
As my head was healed, I looked around at the surrounding people. The rest of camp had apparently gotten the word, Leo was alive.
"Ah, the game's over?" Piper said, disappointed. "Who won?"
Jason gasped.
"Oh my gods..."
"LEO!" Jason and Piper exclaimed. They both tackled him into a hug. Frank and Hazel joined as well, as did Annabeth and I.
Leo was alive. I was glad, but I also felt a strange sensation...it was almost like this had happened before.
Déjà vu is a weird thing, huh?