••••••••••••••chapter twenty eight••••••••••••
We sat quietly around my dorm living room; none of us knew exactly what to say. I sat on the couch between Tommy and Benny, my knees pulled up to my chest. Winn and Adam shared the other couch while Chris stood so Jas could take the rocking chair.
The air was tense and anger floated around us like lightning bugs on a warm summer night. I'd never thought this day would come. I thought I'd die with the secret that my father is an abusive sick bastard, but yet, here we are.
"Penny, you could've told us." Winn murmured from across the room. I looked up at him.
I felt like I was hurting them by letting them see me like this: broken.
"No, I couldn't." I replied. "He'd hurt you. All of you."
"We can handle him," Tommy sighed from beside me.
"And what about Evie? She has to live in the same house as that piece of shit. She's in more danger than any of us."
I snapped back. Just thinking about even remotely letting my little sister be anywhere near him pissed me off.
"So what do we do?" Jas asked.
The seven us looked between each other. We were family, we knew what we had to do.
"We'll stick together," Tommy announced. "We're going to stick together and protect each other because that's what family does. It's what brothers and sisters do. And Tobias Weaver can give us all he's got, but if we go down, he's going down with us."
***
It was weird being back in classes the next morning as if nothing happened. It felt like the weekend was going to last forever.
I trudged to the Great Hall, continuously tugging at the hem of my skirt as it decided to keep rising up my ass. Once at the Great Hall, I huffed into a seat next to Tommy as our family huddled in our usual spot. It was only Tommy, Benny, Chris and I at the moment and boy were we not in the mood. Benny's head was down, Chris leaned exhaustedly in his chair and the only thing holding up Tommy's head was his propped up arm. We'd stayed up late last night talking about...everything...and it was finally taking it's toll.
"This is harder than I thought." I chuckled, causing the three of them to look at me.
"Having to walk around like everything is okay...it's weird."
"Tell me about it." Tommy scoffed as he hands fell to the table. I caught a quick glance at his knuckles and my heart sank.
"Tommy, what the hell happened to your knuckles?" I asked as I grabbed his hand in mine to take a closer inspection.
He shrugged.
"I went to the gym after...you know... and I guess I hit harder than I thought."
"You hit the punching bag hard enough to the point where your fists started bleeding?" I furrowed my brow.
He snatched his hand away and sunk back in the seat.
"I was angry. Can you blame me?"
I sighed. I couldn't blame him at all.
The table went quiet again as time went on. We had nothing to say to each other. The tension in the air was loud enough already.
"That fucking dick!" A quickly approaching voice announced. We looked up to see Adam storming towards us. He stopped at the head of the table and slammed a paper on to it.
"Woah, where's the fire Adam?" Benny chuckled.
His eyes flickered to the paper and back to us. Confused, I picked up the paper and began to read aloud.
"Dear Mr.Weaver, due to unforeseen circumstances, we are sorry to tell you that you have been indefinitely removed from the Wadlington University Scholar Debate Team...effective immediately?" I murmured.
"But you're the best debater on the damn team, they can't do that." Tommy argued as Adam flopped into an empty seat.
"Exactly. Which makes me wonder, why exactly was I kicked off? Maybe it has something to do with the most powerful man on the East Coast."
"...the president?" Benny asked, causing us to roll our eyes.
"No, dufus." I correct. "Dad."
"His reign of terror has begun." Adam sighed.
"Don't worry, Ad. We're gonna get you back on that team and kick Dad's ass in the process."
I reassuringly squeezed his hand and he gave me a sorrowful smile.
Jas soon joined us, taking a seat next to Adam. She looked tired, more tired than usual. Jas was always more of a background person, never drawing too much attention to herself, but it was astonishing how hard she works. Sometimes, though, she worked too hard. She worked herself over the brink and we often had to remind her to stop and smell the roses every once in a while.
"You alright, J?" Benny asked.
She sighed and rubbed her temples.
"Yeah, it's just that—"
"Yo, Jasmine!" A voice interrupted. We turned to see Seamus and his goons laughing from across the Great Hall.
"Heard you fucked your professors to get valedictorian status! Just wandering if we could get in on some of that action?"
"What the fuck did you just say to her, Richmond?" Tommy stood, challenging him.
"What, you want some of this, Tommy Boy?" Seamus bucked.
"That's my little sister you're talking to, asshole." Tommy replied, getting closer and closer to charging.
"Well your little sister has a nice ass, I'd tap that." Seamus chuckled.
"I swear I'm gonna kick his ass." Tommy growled as he almost bolted for Seamus.
"Tommy, it's okay." Jas stopped him, grabbing at his arm. She gave Seamus a quick bird before flopping back into her seat, dragging Tommy down with her.
"What the hell is he talking about, Jas?" Tommy asked as he turned towards the table.
"Someone started a rumor that I slept with my professors to get my good grades. Sexism at it's finest, I guess. But the school apparently believes the rumors, and now I am no longer school valedictorian."
My breath caught in my throat as I slouched back into my chair.
"This is my fault." I murmured.
"What? No, P, it's not—" Jas sighed, grabbing my hand in hers.
"No, it is! If I would've just kept my big mouth shut about Dad then Jas would still be valedictorian and Adam would still be on the debate team."
"Penny, you would've had to tell us sooner or later." Tommy argued.
"Yeah, but not right in front of Dad! There's just so much about that man that just sets me off. I'm sorry, guys."
The table went quiet as we thought over what just happened. Dad kept his promise. He was out for blood.
Jas lost her valedictorian title, Adam lost his place on the debate team.
Which one of us was next?
***
When classes ended, I made my way to Parker's dorm. We decided on watching Thor: Ragnarok as a way to keep our minds off of everything. My legs were laid over his as we cuddled on the couch, watching Valkyrie constantly shock Thor for the 100th time.
For a moment, I almost forgot about everything. Then Odin popped up and suddenly I was reminded of the deep pool of shit I was in and my stomach dropped.
All of a sudden, Parker paused the movie and turn to me suspiciously.
"Wha- why'd you pause it?" I asked, furrowing my brow.
He was quiet for a moment.
"Are you sure that you're alright?"
I rolled my eyes and threw my head back.
"For the 10,000th time, Parker, I am fine."
"You don't look fine." He scoffed.
"Then stop looking." I grinned.
He sighed, and looked deep into my eyes to the point where I swore he could see my soul.
"You can't blame me for being worried."
"I know," I shrugged. "But I promise, I'm okay."
Who was I trying to convince?
Him?
Or myself?
He looked at me for a long moment, like he was studying me how a scientist studies mice.
At this point, his silence and weird staring was pissing me off.
"What are you looking at?"
"How long are you gonna push me away? I thought you were done with that."
He shook his head.
I blinked, trying to process what he just said to me.
"I am not pushing you away."
He turned his body to me, taking my hands in his.
"Then tell me what you're really feeling."
His eyes were pleading and I didn't know how to react. How could I possibly react to that?
"Do you trust me?" He asked, catching me completely off guard. I struggled to find the words in my throat, so I simply nodded.
"Then stop keeping things to yourself. Tell me how you're really feeling. Tell me. Tell Tommy. Or Chris, or Adam, or Winn, or Benny, or Jas, or Jaylen, or Kenna, or Sunny. Tell Obama for Christ's sake just please tell someone. You're only hurting yourself."
Words and thoughts jumbled in my brain as I felt my chest rise and fall. I did have a bad habit about keeping things to myself, but no one has ever cared enough to actually tell me what I needed to hear.
"Asking for help doesn't make you weak, P." He whispered.
"...I'm scared. I feel like everything I do has led to something worse. This entire fiasco with my Dad is my fault and I brought my siblings into the crossfire. I let people down. It's what I do. And I hate myself for it. I know I shouldn't but I do...and I don't know how to change it."
The words fell out of my mouth like they'd been trying to escape for years. I've never really let anyone know how much I hated myself for what I was doing to my family, not even Jaylen. Parker is the first.
"It's not your fault."
I scoffed.
"It's funny, everyone keeps saying that but I still feel no different. Who made a fuss about going to Wadlington? Me. Who pissed their rich, powerful, sadistic Dad off? Me. Who told about my Dad hitting his daughter? Me. Who got Adam kicked off Debate and Jas stripped of valedictorian title? Me. It's always been me."
I looked down into my hands, letting my hair fall into my face.
"Look at me." Parker whispered softly.
I couldn't. I was way too much of a pussy to even think about looking up.
Before I could protest with words, Parkers hand snaked to my cheek, gently forcing me to look him in the eyes.
"You can't blame yourself for the horrible decisions your father made. He started this by ruining your life. It's time for you to return the favor."
a/n
god i hate my job
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-eboni