Chapter dedication goes to!!! 🌟idkmyselfxo🌟
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“He's awake! Guys he's awake!” she yelled.
She looked back at me as if I were a ghost. I wanted to get out of the bed and grab her close to me, but my legs felt numb to the core.
Maybe I was tired.
“Come here” I smiled lazily.
“I missed you” she cried as I held her in my arms.
“I missed you more baby”
I couldn't believe it. I wasn't sure if my eyes were deceiving me, or if this was all real. Ofcourse it was real, his blue orbs stared back at me so profoundly.
God I missed him so much.
It's like Allah (god) answered all my duas (prayers) all those sleepless nights I was up praying for Bryson to wake up. They were finally answered. I remember my mom once telling me if you have hope in your lord he will never deceive you, and keep your hopes alive.
That's what I did, and I didn't become disappointment.
I covered my face as more tears ran down my face. If only he knew what type of mess I was these days without him.
I never realized how much I really needed him, until he slipped away.
“Please don't cry” he whispered struggling to sit up in his bed.
I rushed over to his side and helped him sit up slightly. I couldn't imagine the pain his body felt.
I smiled weakly as he grabbed my hand and kissed it.
I bit my lip trying to stop it's quivering. I didn't like this type of Madina. The one who cried at least 3 times a day because of a boy.
But he wasn't just any type of boy.
It was a boy by the name of Bryson Scott. I'll only find one Bryson in my entire life.
“I'm awake aren't I?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“So then no more crying. I don't wanna see no more tears, I just want to see your smiles” he smiled.
I giggled slightly and wiped my tears.
Bryson's mother ran into the room, and gasped loudly as her hands where shaking.
“My baby boy” she cried running towards his side.
“I'm fine mum” Bryson said groaning when he hugged her.
“You're not fine! You were shot three times. My baby was shot. And your legs-"
My eyes widened as she stopped talking.
His mother looked at me as we both looked at each other silently.
“I'm just worried about you sweety” she said kissing his forehead.
“Is everything alright?” Bryson asked his mom but he looked at me suspiciously.
I looked away.
“Yes sweetie, let's just wait till the doctor comes” she responded.
“Where's my father?” Bryson asked after an awkward silence.
She sighed “He's out of the city” she responded “But don't worry, he'll be here as soon as I phone him” she added.
“No” Bryson said running his fingers through his hair “He'll come whenever he wants. Don't call him” he said in anger.
“He wants to see you Octavius” she said holding his hand.
“If he did he would've been here” Bryson said looking at her.
It didn't feel right standing here listening to their family conversations. I felt like an intruder in their home details.
I started moving slowly towards the door as their conversation wasn't over.
“I don't want him here if all he's gonna do is yell at me for the money I took” Bryson said.
“He doesn't care about that Octavius, he wants to see you” his mother said.
“Bullshit” he cursed.
I opened the door slowly as it creaked a bit.
“Beads where are you going?” Bryson asked worried.
“Huh? Oh I was just gonna get you some water” I lied.
“I'm good” he smiled “Come here” he motioned with his hands.
His mother sighed then looked at me with a grateful look.
The door opened as the doctor walked in with Aasmaan behind his tail.
“Bryson Scott, good to see that you're awake” the doctor smiled politely.
“It's good to finally be up Doc” Bryson said rubbing his tired eyes.
“I'm just gonna run some tests on you. Nurse Aasmaan will draw some blood. Then we'll see how much recovery your body has done” the doctor said.
“Sounds good” Bryson said.
After 15 minutes of watching the doctor ask Bryson questions over and over again. Then checking his blood pressure and temperature. Lastly, Aasmaan drew some blood from his arm. He's lost so much blood, it makes me uneasy to think they took more from him.
Brysons eyes never left mine when the check up was going up. Every time he saw my eyebrows furrow he concentrated on my face. He even made silly faces trying to get a laugh out of me.
“I'll be back with your results” Aasmaan said leaving the room with the small test tube of Brysons blood.
“Your body has done quite the recovery young man” the doctor said writing down on his notepad.
“Alhamdulillah (Thank God)” I whispered.
Bryson didn't respond.
“I honestly didn't think you'd awake in a week and a half. I might've estimated a month or two” the doctor added.
Fuck his stupid ass estimations that were never going to be right.
“Do you remember where the bullets struck you?” the doctor asked him.
Bryson ran his hand through his hair “I think I do… “ He said unsurely.
“Let me break it down for you young man” the doctor began. “You were shot on the side of your stomach, very close to damaging your liver. The other two bullets pierced your back. One on the higher part near your spine. The other one lower region hitting your spine spot on” he explained.
I could feel chills run down my body. I couldn't imagine the type of pain he felt that day.
“Okay… “ Bryson said.
“Can you feel your legs Bryson?” the doctor asked.
I sucked in a deep breath and looked at Mrs’s Scott who had a worried look spread across her face.
“I was wondering about that. I don't feel them at all. It's a numb feeling starting from my hips and down. They'll get better soon right? I've just been sleeping for a long time and my muscles haven't had the chance to move” Bryson said touching his legs.
The doctor pursed his lips and began to speak “Your legs are paralyzed Bryson” he paused to look over at Bryson.
Brysons eyebrows furrowed as he stuttered “W-What?” he asked.
“Due to the last bullet hitting your spine it triggered the nerves in the bottom half of your body. This results in paralyzation in the legs. In other words you can't move your legs becaus-"
“Yea I know what fucking paralyzation means” Bryson curses rubbing his chin
“Bryson” His mother said trying to calm him down but he just pushed her away.
“I can't be paralyzed… what do you mean? When will I start to feel my legs?” Bryson asked his eyes wide like saucers.
“Approximately-"
“I don't want no approximate bullshit doc! I want a fucking day that I'll start to feel my legs again” he yelled.
“We don't know exactly when you'll start to feel your legs” the doctor said keeping a calm stance.
“You don't know? Who the fuck gave gave you your diploma? You clearly need to go back to medical school” Bryson said angrily as he tried to move his legs but nothing happened.
I covered my mouth holding my cries inside. It hurt so much to watch him struggle like that
“I want to get the fuck out of here!” he yelled shaking his bed with his arms.
He struggled some more to get himself up but nothing worked.
The male nurses came to help him up as Bryson just yelled “Don't fucking touch me!”
“Octavius baby, you need to calm down” his mother said cooing him.
“Don't tell me to calm down, news flash mum. My legs cant fucking move! How do you expect me to calm down?” he yelled some more.
I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I wanted to hold him and tell him to cry and scream all he wanted. But that wasn't gonna change the fact that his legs won't work.
“I will be back in an hour with your results. I'm sorry Bryson” the doctor said turning around.
“Yeah go leave! Not like you helped anyways” Bryson said hyperventilating.
“Leave! everyone fucking leave me alone!” he yelled pushing everyone away from him.
“Oh baby… “ his mother cried trying to touch his arm but Bryson moved it roughly.
Everyone left as my feet were glued to the floor. I didn't want to leave him here alone with his thoughts. It was a scary thing.
I walked over to him slowly. His face was covered with hands as he was breathing heavily.
“Br-"
“Leave Beads” he said.
I stopped waking towards him.
“Please let me help” I said softly.
“You can't fucking help me! Stop trying to help me! I'm unfixable. Do you get that? I'm not the type of guy you think I am” he said looking at me with red eyes.
“You're right” I said.
He scrunched his eyebrows.
“You're better than what I thought. You're not unfixable, mostly because you're not broken Brys. Why can't you understand that hardships always end with ease” I said.
“Save it for someone else. If god really existed he would've just let me die. Three fucking bullets and now I can't walk” he said throwing his hands up angrily.
“It was a miracle Bryson. You're alive, and healthy that's all that matters” I said inching closer to him.
“Don't fucking say that! My legs don't work Madina, do you understand that? I can't walk, run or play basketball. What am I gonna do with my life?” he asked covering his face.
“Who said you won't get better! Huh? We'll do it together Brys. You'll feel your legs okay? Soon” I said standing right above him.
He shook his head “Leave”
“I'm not leaving” I told him.
He turned his head and looked at me with his hooded lashes.
“I don't want your bullshit hope. I said fucking leave me alone!” he yelled so loudly I swear I could feel the ground underneath me shake.
I took a step back. I could almost see the regret in his eyes. They were faintly hiding behind the horror he had in them.
“Don't shut me out like you always do when things get hard. I know you want to get better, the Bryson I once knew said nothing was impossible” I said turning around.
I grabbed the door handle and looked behind me as he stared at me with regret.
“I might be leaving this room, but I'm not leaving the hospital. I'll be back when you chill out a bit” I said turning my head back around.
I heard him scuff as I shut the door.
I let out a deep breath.
I didn't realize how suffocating that room really was.
I walked over to the reception desk where Brysons mom was seated near the visiting lounge.
I sat beside her and sighed.
“How is he?” she asked.
“He doesn't believe in himself” I said.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently.
“He will sweet heart. Just give him some time Madina, he'll be back” she said.
“I just missed him so much. And to see him that upset makes me feel like I can't help him at all” I said holding my tears.
I've been doing that a lot lately. Holding my tears inside to remain strong on the outside. But in reality I needed to let them go, so I could finally breathe and let my heart unclench for a bit.
“You're helping him. Just being here means a lot to him Madina. Time sweetheart, everything takes time” she soothed.
I nodded with a weak smile. Her phone started to ring as she excused herself and walked away.
“Ya Allah (oh god) this is one big test you gave everyone” I whispered to myself.
“I just hope it ends well” I said staring at the dull white ceiling.
My phone started to ring and I saw my mommas ID on the screen.
“Salam momma”
“Salam mashallah (Thank God) Bryson woke up?” she asked.
I smiled “Yeah, how'd you know?”
“Lauren called me and said he woke up. Oh Madina I was so happy, I prayed some more for Allah's (God's) help” she said happily.
“Momma there's so much more” I said letting my tears fall.
I told her everything. Where the bullets hit, and now that his legs couldn't move till god knows when.
“Madina, oh my Madina jaanem (my love) stop crying” my mom soothed.
“It's all my fault” I sobbed.
“No, no. Didn't I tell you to stop with that nonsense? This was bound to happen my beautiful girl. You have to let fate take its course” she said.
“Fate is so slow” I said wiping my nose.
Momma laughed “Oh my sweet child. Fate is only slow when you don't believe in it. Leave it to the hands of Allah (god) okay?” she asked.
“Yes momma” I agreed.
“He will be able to walk again I promise you jaanem (my love) just believe” momma said making me feel better.
I nodded “I believe momma”
“I'm glad jaanem (my love)”
I just wish she was here so I could hug her tightly and never let her go. It was true when Allah (god) said heaven is under the mother's feet.
I remember my momma telling me the story of how a mother had to pray her daily prayers. But as soon as she heard her baby crying, she cooed the child till it fell asleep, and disobeyed god for her child.
“When will you be home Madina?” momma asked snapping me out of my thoughts.
“I don't know momma” I said honestly.
“Now come on. I've let you stay there long enough Madina. No more uncomfortable sleeps at the hospital. Come home tonight. Everyone misses you” she said.
“I can't leave him momma” I said.
“I know jaanem (my love) his mom is there for him at tonight. Just come home, you can go back tomorrow morning” she told me.
“Okay momma, I'll be home in an hour” I said.
“Inshallah (in God's will) jaanem (my love)” she prayed.
“I love you momma”
“I love you too Dina”
I hung up the phone and just stared at the marble flooring. I got up walking towards Bryson room as I saw Aasmaan leaving the room quietly.
“Did you speak to him?” I asked her.
She sighed “I asked him if he wanted to hear his results. All he did was shake his head, and say he'd hear them tomorrow” she said sadly.
“Oh”
“Do you want to hear the results?” she asked.
“I'll listen to them with him tomorrow” I said.
She nodded smiling slightly “Your good for him Madina” she said letting her hand rest on my shoulder.
I rubbed my head “I wish that were true”
“It's true. He knows it too” she said.
“Thank you”
She nodded leaving me in front of his hospital room.
I knocked on the door slightly.
“Don't come in” he said.
“Bryson it's me” I said loud enough for him to hear me.
Silence.
“Can I come in?” I asked.
“I don't think you want to” he said.
“I do, I really do” I said sighing.
“No Madina, just go home, and never come back again” he said breaking the shell around my heart with his rough words.
“Too bad, I'm coming in idiot” I said opening the door.
I took a couple steps until I could see him fully. I gasped when I saw him. His shirt was off. My eyes went to the scars that filled his upper body.
I covered my mouth with my hands. He just looked away.
“I told you not to come in” he said trying to put his shirt back on.
His legs were swing on the ledge of the bed as he was staring at himself in the mirror.
I let my hands go slowly from my mouth and just stood there.
As he was putting his shirt on I walked towards him.
“Let me see” I said.
“Oh so now you wanna see me half naked?” he smirked.
And he's back ladies and gentlemen.
“Nevermind” I whispered walking towards the window.
I already saw what I needed to see.
His bandages were peeled off a bit. Red wounds on his side and on his back vivid to my eyes. Other technical scars around his chest when they did the operation.
The picture was clear in my mind, and could never be erased.
I stared at the city of California as the sun was going down. I had to go home and pray maghrib soon.
“I'm gonna go home Bryson” I said turning around towards him.
His eyes shot up as he sat up straighter.
“You're leaving?” he asked.
“Yes, isn't that what you wanted? For me to leave you alone, and to never come back?” I asked trying to hold my voice strong.
“I-I Yes, that's what I want” I could tell he was lying.
It was hard for him to say it, but yet he did.
“Well to bad, cause I'll be back tomorrow” I said walking towards him.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“Don't Madina”
“I'll be back” I said grabbing my bag and my sweater.
“Why? Why would you want to stay here all day with a crippled person? Go outside Madina, you don't deserve to be depressed in here with me. I'm damaged, not you” he said.
“We're in this together. Like I said before, you fall, I fall. You stand, I'll stand. You're not alone, I won't allow you to be. If your damaged, then so am I. Both of are damaged hearts fit each others pieces and you know it” I said gripping my bag.
He sighed “Gosh your so stubborn” he said.
“Tell me something I don't know” I said with a grin.
He smiled faintly as he motioned for me to come closer to him.
He didn't speak. He just tugged on my fingers softly.
“I'll try” he said.
“Try?” I asked.
“I'll try to get better. I'll do it all for you, if it makes you happy I'll do it. But I only ask one thing from you Madina” he said.
I smiled widely “Yes, what is it?” I asked.
“No more crying” he said rubbing the bottom of my eyes. “No more blaming yourself” he said softly “And lastly stop calling me an idiot. I think I'm pretty smart” he said.
I laughed and nodded “That was three things your asking of me Scott” I said crossing my arms.
He chuckled lowly “Yeah I know”
“I can do the first two. The last one not so much” I smiled.
He groaned trying to hold his smile.
He looked up at me concentrating on my eyes. His hands slowly grabbed mine. As one slipped up to his rough cheek that was growing more facial hair since he hasn't shaved since the accident.
My palm reached his lips, as he left 3 soft butterfly kisses to it.
“I'll see you tomorrow Queen” he smiled.
I nodded “I'll see you tomorrow King”
With that I left. I told him I wouldn't leave the hospital before. But I had a family that hasn't seen me all day. I'm barely home now, and it affects all of them separately.
I got inside my car driving towards my quiet neighbourhood. I parked my car, walking towards my door step with my keys in my hand.
Before I could put the keys inside the door slot it busted open with Bobba (dad) staring at me with a huge smile on his face.
He pulled me into a bear hug and kissed my forehead “My princess is finally home” he gushed.
“Bobba (dad) I saw you this morning” I giggled as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“Oh but jaanem (my love) that was so long ago” he chuckled.
Momma came and hugged me tightly, the way I wanted to before. It was perfect.
“Hey Dins” Majeed said squishing me in a hug with all his muscles.
“Hey monkey” I said patting his back.
“And you can leave” he said pushing me away.
I giggled and slapped his arm.
I heard little footsteps running down the stars. “Dina!” Masoud yelled.
“Hey buddy” I said picking him up and hugging him.
“Lets go read” he said pulling me towards the stairs.
“Lets pray first” momma said.
Everyone was ready to go in there rooms and pray. Bobba (dad) and momma usually always prayed in the living room.
And then the rest of us usually went to our rooms. Well Majeed and I, Masoud was too young. Although, sometimes he would join in because he already learned the steps.
“As a family” momma warned before we could leave.
Everyone stopped walking and got ready to wudu (cleansing rituals) and then we all laid our praying mats in the living room.
Bobba (dad) and Majeed were in front while momma and I and Masoud were behind them.
“Allahu Akbar (Allah/god is the greatest)”
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A/N
Salam/ whassssuuppp
Early update! Well, only two days earlier. But I know y'all appreciate it either way, cause you loveeee me! Well I hope you do😂 hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter, as I did writing it.
Don't forget to vote and comment, I read ALL the comments. Warms my heart right up❤ I appreciate all of you wonderful people. I hope everyone's Ramadan is also going great, hang in there sis!
QOTD: Would you rather chug a bottle of hot sauce? Or a bottle of mustard?
Okay so ovs for me it would be hot sauce. Hot Sauce is legit bae. I canttt eat food without it. It's ma baby, and now I'm so prone to spice food cause I've been eating Spicy food way before I could speak 😂 and plus mustard to me is disgusting 🤢😷
Salam/Peace, Raz✌❤