"Do not wish to be anything but you are and do that perfectly."
-Frances Salem
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A lot of things had been happening lately and Em was not sure how she possibly cope up with it all. In a span of two days she had confessed to the man she loved and he confessed back to her, his mother asked to take her away to the city and now, well right now, Damian-the next Duke of Hinley is kissing her in a bloody kitchen!
Em pushed him back, gasping for breath, "My Lord. Stop, please, you must stop. Someone could walk in any moment!"
His eyes shone with alarm and he pulled away, "Apologies Rose..."
Silenced enveloped them, Em played with the apple she had discarded. What on earth was he doing here?
"Can we talk?" He said.
"What about, my lord?"
Damian clenched his jaw, he hated it when she addressed him that way. "Not here. Come with me please."
Em stepped back, "If you plan to have this conversation in your room, then I must say no."
He chuckled, "As much as how tempting that is, I have no plans to do so." He offered his hand, "A walk in the garden will be enough."
The garden was wide and the gardeners won't be there this time of the day, they'll have privacy. Em took his hand and let him lead the way.
She saw the rows of flowers Lady Lucille personally procured to be included in her collection. It's scent wafted into the air making it sweet and fragrant. Damian led her further away from the house, there was fountain in the middle but they'd have to go through a maze made of rose bush.
She did not dare question why they have to get away, even if the gardeners will be absent, the couldn't risk anyone seeing them together. How could she explain meeting the Duke here?
"Damian..." she called.
He turned his head, still holding her hand.
"I..I think this is far enough." They were in the middle of the maze, if they go in further she wan't sure if she could find the way out.
"The fountain isn't far. I remember that well, unless..."
He let his words hung letting her assume what he wanted to say. But she did not add anything, so he pulled her further in.
True to his word, Em saw the fountain after one turn. It was white and beautiful, the water ran and glisten against the sun. Damian deposited her on the edge so she could gather her skirts and sit.
"It's beautiful.." she said.
"Yes."
Em turned her gaze and saw that Damian was staring at her. He meant to say she was beautiful, not the fountain. Her face flushed with embarassment and she bowed her head.
"What did you want to talk about?"
Damian sighed and sat next to her, she scooted over, giving space between them.
"I want to know if you have considered my offer."
Em scoffed, "You still think it would work? That I become your mistress?"
"Why not Rose? Don't you want to be with me?"
Of course she did. She waited five years to tell him how she felt about him. And now he was back and he returned her feelings, stealing moments to be to together and even planning to give her a way out of her servant life, yet she refused. She simply cannot. Lowborn or not, she cannot see herself ruining his life for her happiness.
"My answer is No."
He sighed again, heavier this time. "I am to be married in a fortnight Rose."
"I know. They have sent out the invitations already, I've seen them."
She saw the beautiful designs and neat writings on them, his name and his wife-to-be. Her fingers ran through those writing, wishing it was her name instead of Lady Warrick's.
"It's not too late to take you out here, I already have a cottage in mind. You can settle as soon you can."
"You mean as soon as you married you'll have a place to place me." She couldn't help the bitterness in her voice. She was to be a whore to warm his bed.
"Rose please," his hand found hers, "I cannot bear to be away from you. I do not love Lydia, I love you."
Em shook her head, "Enough of this game Damian. We cannot make it work."
"Of course we can, you can."
"Thing is, I won't! You have a wonderful woman to carry your name, she is a Lady for heaven's sake! She has proper upbringing, an old name and a proud heritage. And don't you see how beautiful she is?"
"Beauty is passing, she cannot give me what I want."
"But she can give you what you need," Em paused and met his gaze, "she can give you an heir."
Damian's eyes widened, "You think that if I get you with child I will leave it a bastard? No woman, I will give him or her my name."
"But not me. I will still be me."
"You don't have to have my name Rose, you have my heart."
Em stood and hid her face away from him, her tears wanted to fall but she fought them back. "But you see Damian, that is not enough for me."
He cursed and thrashed the nearby plants. She heard a pot break, it's soil and plant sprawled into the steps. "Are you asking me to marry you?"
It was her turn to be taken aback, "W-what?"
"You said it's not enough that you have my heart because I won't be marrying you. Do you want me to break off my engagement and marry you instead?"
"You know that is not what I meant!"
"Then what?!"
"I don't know! Alright, I don't know. But this is a mistake."
Great. Now, they're both yelling. She won't be surprised if someone came upon them now. They never fought before not like this.
"Rose..."
"Stop. Please, just stop Damian." Her eyes were getting bery itchy now, if he touched her she would break down.
"Can you at least think about this?"
"No. I have given it enough thought, you have duties and I cannot risk ruining your life. Marry her Damian and forget about me."
"What if I can't?"
Em bit her lip because she knew she can't either, "Try Damian. I will try as well."
"Are you saying this is...goodbye?" His face fell.
"I believe so. Do not pursue me again and I will not be on your way. We'll move on."
He closed his eyes and sat back at the edge of the fountain, she wanted to comfort him, to take him into her arms. But she held back. They have to stop, now. It was a mistake falling for her master and she knew it. But she still let emotions rule her. She let into her life a little too close. Now, she'd have to pay the price.
"Remember me." She said and was gone.