We're all gathered in the waiting room. Michael's parents, Zaira and Nastasia, Casey and me. I don't like the fact that Nastasia had to show up. Of course she had to. We're not yet allowed into Michael's hospital room. The doctor said that Michael is suffering from PTSD.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Poor baby. I just wanna go in there and hug him and be with him. The Doctor enters the waiting room, we all turn around and look at him, impatiently waiting for him to say something. He tells us that only one person at a time is allowed in there. Michael is not doing all too well actually. His life is not in danger but the doctor says he's not doing great.
"It is very imporant that you all realize that Mr. Jackson is suffering from a very severe kind of PTSD. He has sudden, dramatic changes in his mood, which basically means he can go from a happy high straight to severe anxiety and anger. He may seem all over the place, please do not be confused by his words, what you need to offer him is support and patience. Ask no questions, don't ask of him to talk back to you. He will talk if he's able to. Patience is important now"
It's worse than I thought.
I'm so sorry he has to go through this.
His mom enters first, along with Zaira. Then Michael's dad goes in . . Casey afterwards, then Zaira goes in again with Nastasia and now it's my turn to see him. I walk inside. Tears start building in my eyes as soon as I lay eyes on him laying there. He looks so helpless and vulnerable.
"Hi honey . . Michael, I'm so glad that you're ok"
He looks at me with tears in his eyes. I can tell that he has trouble talking. He just puts his hand on mine and looks the other way. "You're doing great, Michael . . you'll be out of here before you know it, honey"
. . . . .
"I may be here but really I'm dead"
"Excuse me?"
"I died on the sea"
"No, honey . . you're here . . you made it, everything's ok now"
. . . . .
"The doctors don't know what they're saying. I know what happened. I know it. I was there"
"Michael . . don't talk . . just relax, ok? you're starting to shake"
"I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!! I died out there, I'm not alive!!"
"Michael, you are very much so alive. We're talking to each other"
. . . . .
"The water was so cold . . and it was so loud . . and there was fire for a short period of time. Fire. I was supposed to die, Danielle"
"No, you weren't supposed to die. You're here. You made it, honey. Try to relax, ok? I love you so much, we all love you . . and it's Destiny, Michael . . Destiny"
"Richard died . . he had a heart attack"
"Richard? . . oh, the guy on the jet with you?"
"He wasn't on the jet with me for long, he died. He had a heart attack . . I was on my own . . do you know how to fly a plane, Denise?"
"Denise? . . honey, my name is Destiny"
"Destiny . . do you know how to fly a plane?"
"No . . no, I don't"
"I didn't know either . . but for some reason I'm still here . . am I still here?"
"You're very much so still here, honey"
"I saw God"
"You saw God?"
"Yes . . I talked to him . . I wanted to go with him but he didn't let me . . I said Hi God, what's up? and he laughed. I said where we going? and he said I'm going nowhere and . . and . . God is great . . God is beautiful, you know?"
"I know he is . . he definitely is, honey"
"He told me that it wasn't my time to go. I said, but I wanna go with you . . but he didn't let me, why didn't he let me go with him, Desiree?"
"Destiny, honey . . my name is Destiny . . he didn't take you with him because it wasn't your time . . you weren't supposed to leave, ok, honey? Michael are you ok?"
. . . . .
"I'm a construction worker, you knew that?"
"No, honey . . . you're a teacher"
"I'm a teacher? . . wow! I didn't know that"
"Now you know . . but I'm sure it'll be a long time before you can set foot in a classroom again. God, I hope you'll be alright soon. The things you say, you're really not ok, honey . . the doctor wasn't kidding when he said that you're . . confused"
"I'm confused?"
"Yes, you are"
. . . . .
"Where is Casey?"
"You saw him a few minutes ago . . he was here, don't you remember?"
"Yes, I remember"
". . . Good"
"Are you my wife? are we married, Deidra?"
"My name is . . . no, we're not married, Michael . . but we're in a relationship. I'm pregnant. We're having a baby, honey"
"A baby . . I love babies"
I smile. "I know you do"
. . . . .
"What happened to me? why am I here, Debora?"
"Destiny! . . it's DESTINY, honey, ok? . . you were in a plane crash . . you survived a plane crash. Now you're here because you're gonna get better . . they're gonna take good care of you. And you will be going to therapy . . a therapist will help you cope with what happened, alright? You'll be back to normal in no time"
"A therapist? I don't need a therapist, a therapist needs me"
"Michael . . how about you close your eyes and take a nap now, ok?"
"I can't sleep"
"Yes, yes you can sleep, the doctor gave you medicine . . medicine to help you fall asleep"
"I can't sleep, I gotta go . . I gotta go to work"
"No . . you're not going anywhere, you stay right here and all you have to do is get better, ok?"
"I'm a pilot. I have to fly 150 people to Japan. They're waiting for me! THEY'RE WAITING FOR ME, BECAUSE I'M THE PILOT!" Michael yells. I gasp in shock over his loud tone. The door behind me opens and the doctor walks in. "I believe Mr. Jackson needs to rest now"
"Y-Yes . . I think so too . . ummm, doctor?"
"Yes?"
"He's totally out of it . . did you give him drugs?"
"He's on heavy medication, yes"
"Will he . . will he be alright?"
"He will . . I just . . I just can't tell you how long it's going to take . . but it'll take time"
"Doctor? I'm looking out the window . . am I on a plane?"
"No, Mr. Jackson . . you're in a hospital"
"Hospitals can fly?" Michael asks with a shocked look on his face. I turn around and leave the hospital room. Tears start streaming down my face. Casey hurries up to me and gives me a hug. "He's not himself . . he's totally out of it"
"He sure is . . he called me like five names . ."
Right this second I hear Michael's loud voice behind me. He got off the bed . . he's now standing in the hallway. He rips off everything that is attached to his skin. "This plane is going to crash! GET OFF, EVERYBODY!!" He yells. Oh my goodness. He's completely lost his mind. He's totally out of it. The doctors try to get Michael back into his hospital room but he refuses to go back in there.
"This plane is going to crash . . it's going to CRASH . . save yourselves!!" He yells. The doctors manage to get him back to his bed. I walk into the room and sit down on the chair next to his bed. "Michael, I know you're confused. It'll take some time for you to get over what happened but you have to calm down, ok? yelling and screaming isn't going to help anything"
"What happened to me? Why am I here? Why am I in this hospital? Am I going to die? Do I have cancer??"
"No, Michael . . honey, you don't have cancer . . you're traumatized, you're suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. You're not alright at the moment and that is perfectly ok. You will get better but it'll take some time" I say, trying to hold mysel back from starting to cry.
"I have cancer . . I can feel it"
"No, Michael . . you don't have cancer, you do NOT have that, alright?"
"Oh my god!!!"
"W-What, honey? What's the matter??"
"Richard! How is Richard doing?! Is he ok??"
. . . . .
. . . . .
"Honey, Richard didn't make it . . he died on the plane . . he-he had a heart attack, don't you remember?"
"Richard . . he offered me an experience of a lifetime"
"He sure did, honey . . but you're here, everything is ok now"
"I wanna go to Richard's funeral, I wanna do a speech! I have to prepare my speech!!"
"Michael . . you need to calm down . . please!! honey, please!!"
"I wanna say something at his funeral . . I spent his last minutes on earth with him, I was the last person to talk to him, I know he wants me to say something! when's the funeral? will there be a funeral??"
"I'm-I'm sure there will be, Michael . . but . . I don't think worrying about Richard's funeral is what you need right now . . you need to focus on yourself . . ok? . . you need to get better . . don't worry about others . . it's all about you now . . it's really important that you focus on YOU and no one else, alright?"
"I always worry about others"
"I know you do . . and that makes you such a wonderful human being but it's time you worry about yourself for a change . . you need to get better . . Richard won't be disappointed if you don't show up at his funeral, he knows you're thinking about him right now and that should be enough, alright?"
. . . . .
"When are we going to take flight?" Michael asks out of nowhere.
"Take flight? Michael, we're not flying anywhere . . you're not going anywhere!"
"Flying a plane is a scary thing if you don't know how to do it . . where's my mother? is my mother ok? did she survive??"
"Your mom? Michael, your mom is out there in the waiting room, she's alright! she wasn't on the plane . . do - do you want to talk to her?"
"I wanna talk to my mom"
"O-Ok . . I will get her . . I will get her, alright?" I rush to the waiting room and ask Michael's mom to come. She slowly walks into the hospital room. Tears are clouding up her eyes, she can barely see. "Michael?"
"Mommy . ."
"Mikey . . I'm here!" She takes a seat next to his bed and puts her hand on his chest. "Mommy?"
"I'm right here, sweetheart . . I'm right here, you'll be fine!"
"Mom . . I love you"
"I love you more, Michael, I love you most"
"I'm . . I'm not feeling well . . why am I feeling so awful? . . will you come to my funeral, mom?"
"T-There won't be a funeral, Michael . . don't say that"
"How much time do I have left to live, mom?"
"Michael . . you have plenty of time left . . you're in the process of getting better, you will not die"
"But I have cancer. . that's why I'm here, right?"
His mom looks at me. I can tell by the look in her face that this is too much for her to handle. It's too much for me to handle, too. I knew it was bad but I had no idea he was in such a bad condition. Zaira comes running in. Now we're three people in here already . . we're only supposed to be in here one person at a time.
"Daddy . . are you ok??"
"I'm sorry I have to go, Zaira"
"Where do you have to go, dad?" Oh no. He can't tell Zaira that he's dying. She will have the shock of a lifetime. "Daddy?" Michael's mom gets up and takes Zaira hand. "We gotta leave your dad alone now, ok?"
"NO! I wanna talk to my dad!! . . DADDY? where are you going??"
"I'm going to live with Jesus, babygirl . . but you'll be alright, I promise you"
"Die? . . DADDY?!!!"
I grab Zaira and pull her up to me. "Listen to me, sweetie, your dad will not die, ok? he's just confused . . nothing will happen to him and he won't go anywhere, he's just confused. Don't cry, sweetie! Come here!" Zaira wraps her arms around me, crying deeply. I put my arm around her too and squeeze her tightly. "Everything will be fine, Zaira"
"I'm - I'm sorry, Destiny . . I'm sorry I said all those things to you . . do you hate me now?"
"I could never - never hate you, sweetie! Don't even say that . . everything will be ok"
I didn't even realize that Nastasia entered the hospital room again. I'm standing here, hugging Zaira right next to Michael's bed and she has the nerve to sit next to him and stroke his face? now she kisses him on his forehead? I get that she's worried about him too, but really? Is that really necessary right now? I tell Michael's mom to leave me alone with Nastasia. She takes Zaira's hand and leaves the hospital room with her.
"Why are you stroking and kissing his face like that, Nastasia?"
"I'm worried about him just like you are, Destiny"
"I understand that you're worried but what you're doing is . . it's . . it's just not appropriate"
"Not appropriate? every person has their own way of dealing with pain, I want to stroke his face, so what? . . he needs comfort, you heard what the doctor said, hun"
"Yes, HUN . . I heard what the doctor said. I'm his girlfriend, so stop touching his face, please"
"Listen . . I've accepted the fact that you're with him now . . but this is a critical time for all of us . . we're all in pain, not just you! We're all worried about him, stop treating him like he's your possession, Destiny!"
"My possession?! W-Would you be alright with it if I stroked and kissed his face like that if he was YOUR boyfriend?!"
. . . . .
"Please, Destiny, he's about to fall asleep . . keep your mouth shut, hun"
To be continued . . .