This is it. This is how my life ends. Not even a minute ago I was on top of the world . . and now I'm about to leave it way too soon. I have a daughter and another one on the way. I can't die.
"RICHARD!!" I yell at the top of my lungs.
What am I yelling for? He's dead.
He must've had a heartattack.
I should've proposed to Destiny. If I had known that my life was going to end so soon I at least should've given her a fucking ring. This is torture. My heart is about to burst. I have a dead guy flying a jet on auto pilot. Think, Michael, THINK! I have to find a way to land this freakin' thing! I carefully remove Richard from the seat and take his place. I'm about to throw up, that's how I fucking feel.
HOW ON EARTH DO I FLY THIS THING???
RICHARD . . he has a phone on him!! I need to call for help!! . . and I hope I'll have time to call Destiny and Zaira to tell them I love them. This may be the last few minutes of my life. I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe.
~ Destiny's point of view ~
Zaira is giving me the cold shoulder. I'm done trying to be nice to her. I'm just hoping that Michael will come back home soon. I'm getting tired and I wanna start dinner soon. I was just about to open the fridge when my phone starts ringing. I look at the display. I've never seen this phone number in my life. Who is this?
"Hello?" All I can hear is loud noises and lots of wind, making it hard for me to hear something. "Who's - Who's this? Who's calling?"
. . . . .
. . . . .
"Hello? Who's there??"
~ Michael's point of view ~
FUCK.
It's too loud. She didn't hear me. I have to send a text message instead. This freakin' thing is about to crash into the ocean and end my freakin' life. I have to let her know that I love her. I can't believe I'm about to leave my family behind . . and Destiny . . and our unborn baby. . I have to send out this message before it's too late. I'm so sorry Zaira . . god, how much I love you. And Casey . . I forgive you. Of course I do. I just wish there was a way to tell you that.
I can't make a phone call it's too noisy. I wipe the tears off my face and try to get my shit together. TYPE. I need to TYPE messages to everyone. This is the only way to say goodbye.
~ Destiny's point of view ~
I'm looking at the boiling water on the stove and it's making me sleepy. Gosh, where is Michael? What's taking him so long? I hope he's alright. It's still raining out there. Oh, I just got a text message. It's the same number that tried to call me a few minutes ago. I open the message and read:
It's an empty message.
What is going on here? Who's trying to reach me? Could it be Michael?
A bad feeling suddenly comes over me. I decide to call the number back but no one picks up. I try to call the number again but still, no one is answering. Now I'm starting to feel uneasy. Is it Michael who is trying to reach me? But whose number is this? Where is he calling from?
I type a message to this number and wait for a reply:
"Hello? Who is this?"
A few seconds later I get a message back . . an empty one again. That's when Zaira comes storming into the kitchen. "Is Dad still not back yet??!"
"NO, HE'S NOT! NOW GO TO BED!!" I yell. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell . . I'm sorry, Zaira . . It's just that - never mind, ok? I'll call you when dinner is ready"
"Fine . . ."
I walk out to the backyard and try to call this number again. They actually pick up. Whoever this is, they picked up. I can hardly hear anything. All I can hear is loud noses, strong winds . . who the hell is this?
"HELLO? WHO'S THERE?!"
"Des-Destiny!!!!!"
"M-Michael?? . . Michael is this YOU??"
"Destiny!!!!!"
"Michael?? WHERE ARE YOU?? what's all that noise??"
"I LOVE YOU DESTINY . . I LOVE YOU AND I WANNA MARRY YOU"
"W-WHAT? Michael, I can't hear you! WHAT DID YOU SAY??"
"I LOVE YOU DESTINY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! GIVE ZAIRA THE PHONE NOW! PLEASE HURRY! HAND HER THE PHONE!"
"MICHAEL! I can't hear a word you're saying! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??"
. . . . .
"HELLO? . . MICHAEL?? HONEY?? CAN YOU HEAR ME??"
. . . . .
A loud peep tells me that we're not connected anymore. I look at the display. The phone call ended. Now I know it's Michael and he's in trouble. Where the hell is he though?? And why was it so loud? I couldn't understand a word he was saying! My heart is beating so fast. I'm about to lose my mind. I have to call Theresa. No, I can't . . I have to keep the line free in case Michael tries to call me again.
EIGHT HOURS LATER
It's 3 am and I can't fall asleep.
Michael never called back. I tried calling this number at least 150 times but he never picked up again. I know deep in my heart that something isn't right. Something happened to him and I have no idea what. I called the police to let them know what happened. I told them about the phone calls, the empty messages. The loud noise. They said they will give me a call as soon as they have information for me.
It's been eight hours and they still haven't called, though.
Zaira is fast asleep up in her room. She has no idea what's going on and I'm not going to tell her. I don't want her to panic. For crying out loud, CALL ME BACK, YOU FREAKIN' POLICE! I'M WORRIED!! It's been eight hours! . . EIGHT HOURS!!!
I hope he's ok. Wherever he is right now, I hope he's alright. About two hours later, at 4:45am I wake up to my belly hurting really bad. All this stress is getting to me. I hope nothing's wrong with the baby. God, I want to know where Michael is. This is torture. It's 5 am in the morning and I haven't heard from him. That's it. I'm going to the police and I will demand information!!! It's been 10 hours!! THEY MUST KNOW SOMETHING!!
I head on upstairs and wake up Zaira. I hate having to wake her up but I don't want her to wake up to no one being in the house. I don't want her to be scared. "Zaira, sweetie, wake up! we have to go!"
"Where do we have to go? Where is Dad?"
"He's . . he's still not back, sweetie"
"D-Dad is still not back?" Zaira asks, staritng to cry "But where is he? why isn't he back, Destiny?" I take her in my arms. "I don't know . . I don't know why he isn't back yet but I'm going to find that out, ok? I'm going to drop you off at your grandma and grandpa's house, alright?"
"O-Ok"
I drop her off at her parents' house and I don't even bother to go in. I can see the light on, they're up. I wait for Zaira to enter the house before I drive off. They open the door and let her in. I give them a honk and drive off. I wanna know where Michael is and I wanna know it now! I park the car at the police station and rush inside screaming. "IT'S BEEN 10 HOURS!!! I'm still waiting for information on my boyfriend!!!"
"Lady, may I ask you to watch your tone? Tell me what this is about, I will see if I have information for you"
"10 hours ago was the last time I heard my boyfriend's voice over the phone . . his name is Michael Jackson! I heard him over the phone, it was loud, it was noisy, I wanna know where he was calling me from! PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE SOME NEWS BY NOW!! I gave you the phone number he was calling me from. I gave you every bit of information I had and now I demand information from you!!!"
"I'll be right back, please take a seat" The lady at the counter says. Take a seat? TAKE A SEAT? How can I take a seat feeling the way I feel?? I walk up and down, nervously waiting for the woman to come back to the counter. Are they kidding me? What kind of a police station is this?! There is literally no one here.
"HELLO?!!!"
Two police officer enter the waiting room. A bad feeling comes over me. "Good morning, may I please ask you to follow us this way?"
"Y-Yea, sure!" I follow the police men into a room. They ask me to sit down. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. "We were just about to call you . . we finally have some news in now"
"Oh my god" I whisper.
"The phone number you were connected with we were finally able to track down. Your boyfriend was actually calling you from a jet . . which also explains the noise you were hearing over the phone, the jet has crashed into the ocean, one person was found dead . . Is this your boyfriend's wallet?"
Crashed? Into the ocean? They show me a black leather wallet. With a shaky hand I reach for it and open it up. Please don't let this wallet be Michael's . . please . . I slowly open it up and I'm looking at Michael's driver's licence.
"Y-Yes . . this is my boyfriend's wallet, officer"
"Now, we have found his wallet but we haven't found your boyfriend yet . . but we're almost a hundred percent sure that he didn't survive the plane crash, Miss . . the dead person we found was an older man, Richard Handson, 76 years old . . we currently have people looking around in the water for more bodies but we haven't found no other body as of yet. We're still on it, though. We need you to be patient . . but for now, this is all the information we can give you"
I'm numb.
Completely numb.
I can't speak.
I can't breathe.
This can't be real.
"Officer . . please tell me this isn't real . . PLEASE TELL ME YOU WILL FIND HIM! PLEASE TELL ME HE'S STILL ALIVE!!"
"Miss . . we know this is a hard time for you, but please, try to calm down . . we're trying our best to find your boyfriend's body"
"MY BOYFRIEND'S BODY . . Are you saying - are you saying that - that he's most certainly dead??"
"There's only a ten percent chance that he survived that crash, Miss . . I'm terribly sorry"
"WHO WAS THIS MAN HE WAS FLYING WITH? WHY WAS HE ON THAT JET IN THE FIRST PLACE? HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? WHERE IS MY BOYFRIEND? I NEED YOU TO FIND MY BOYFRIEND!!" I break down crying. I fall down to the floor right by the officers feet. One of them picks me up and helps me sit back down on the chair.
"Y-You found my boyfriend's wallet! you found his WALLET! What does that mean?! What else did you find, WHY DID YOU ONLY FIND HIS WALLET??"
"Miss . . we really need you to calm down"
"HOW CAN YOU ASK OF ME TO BE CALM IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS? MY BOYFRIEND MIGHT BE DEAD RIGHT NOW AND YOU WANT ME TO BE CALM?! I want you to fly me to that spot where the jet was found . . I want to go there . . I want to be at the spot where my boyfriend's life might have possibly ended. I have to do this. I HAVE TO GO THERE!"
"Miss . . we don't think this is a very good idea . . you need to know that we have professionals here to help you cope with-"
"Help me cope?! . . HELP ME COPE?? I want to go to that spot where the jet was found! The jet my boyfriend spent his last seconds on before he crashed into the ocean!! I've been waiting for 10 hours, this is the least you can do for me! I'm begging you! . . please let me go to that spot . . I have to do this . . I just have to!"
"We're just about to call your boyfriend's family . . if you want, I can-"
"NO!! Don't call them! Not until you know for sure! He has a little daugher!! She will not be able to handle it, officer!! you can't do this!!"
"Miss . . I don't think you can decide that for us . . it's our job to let the family know. Now, like I said, we have professionals here to help you cope with your loss, Miss, if you want we can-"
"If you tell me one more time that you have professionals here to help me cope with my loss, I'm going to cut your balls off and ask you to talk to a professional to help you cope with YOUR LOSS!!"
"Miss . . you're crossing a line . . I have to ask you to sit down"
"I'm not sitting down! GIVE ME THAT FREAKIN' WALLET!" I grab Michael's wallet and press it against my chest. "You found one dead body . . ONE! . . but there were two people on the jet, right? . . you haven't found my boyfriend yet . . are there still people out there looking for him as we speak??"
"Yes, Miss . . but there hasn't been a call, nor a message. They haven't found anything yet. If they did, they would've called to let us know"
"My boyfriend could be somehwere in the water, injured, screaming for help!! Tell your people to do their job correctly!! There was only one dead body found, so he must be alive!!"
"Miss . . we highly doubt that your boyfriend is still alive"
"I don't give a rat's ass about what you hightly doubt and what not! I refuse to believe that he's dead! Get more people to go look for him! I will not leave here until I'm sure that you guys are doing everything in your power to find my boyfriend!!"
Deep inside I know the officer is right. The possibility that Michael survived that plane crash is so little . . I wanna cry . . I wanna break down and cry but I can't. I have to be strong now. They haven't found his body yet . . I can't lose hope just yet.
"Miss, are you alright?"
I get up and leave the police station. Tears are streaming down my face. I get in my car and drive. I drive and drive with no destination in mind. I feel numb from head to toe. Absolutely numb. Michael can't be gone . . how am I supposed to live without him?
I don't want to raise this baby without you by my side, Michael.
Why did you get on that plane?
What was the reason?
Please come back.
I miss you so much.
To be continued . . .