Sign of the Times- Harry Styles :)
"Just stop your crying, have the time of your life."
TW: rape
My head is reeling. My emotions are high. I'm antsy. I'm everything that I didn't want to be. I think I regret what I said to my mother. I should. I know I should, but I'm angry. How could she still betray me and my father? She knows the risks. If he were to find out- it would be catastrophic. Horrible. He would start drinking again, the pushes, and the punches would come full force.
What has she done?
"Has your words caught up to you yet?" Jake breaks me out of my train of thought.
I shake my head. "I don't feel guilty, if that's what you're asking."
He laughs, but there's no humor. Jake's driving me somewhere, but it's feeling like nowhere at this point because all I keep imaging is that stranger opening that door. "I'm not saying what your mom did was okay. That's fucked up in a whole other level. I mean, it's in your own house. Where's your dad at?" He pauses briefly, "You will hate yourself when you realize what you said to her. How disgusting you talked to her."
"She's the disgusting one." I groan out. Even if he is right, he should be on my side. "I don't even know why your defending her. You hate her."
"No I'm not, and I don't necessarily hate her. I hate that she screwed you over. Made you all fucked up in the head, but at the same time I have to thank her."
"Why?" I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Because if you weren't so fucked up, we wouldn't be able to connect as much as we do. I just wish your dad wasn't such a psycho."
"Key word is was. That's in the past." Or I hope so.
There's more silence that comes. And soon, I realize where we're headed. Alice's house. I'm regretting looking at her right now. Considering all that has happened with Casper and her.
"Don't you think we'll intrude, it's thanksgiving today after all." My brain almost forgetting the fattening holiday.
"Her mom's a flight attendant, and doesn't get back until tomorrow. And her dick of a stepdad is working until 6, so we have time to kill before he gets home."
I nod my head. Anger is still instilled within me. I don't even know why, but I'm mad at Jake as well. Hell, I'm mad at the world.
We pull up to curb, and as much as I want to be alone right now; I don't flinch away when Jake holds my hand this time. He looks down at our hands, and I can feel him properly breathe for the first time. We walk down her pathway of the door. Jake knocks.
Andrew opens it. He looks the same as I met him. Beanie tucked around his head of hair, sweater around his body, and cookies crumbs around his cheeks and hands.
"Dipshit! I told you not to open the door. It could be a stranger." Alice comes running towards the door, her steps slowing down once she sees me and Jake. "What the fuck are you two doing here?" She leans against the doorframe.
"Happy thanksgiving to you too, cuz." Jake says.
"Hi Jake." Andrew intrudes. His eyes looks at me for a second. "Jake's Dawn." He nods to me.
"Hi Andrew." I say.
"It's now Drew!"
"Alright, Drew." I smile.
"Hey, buddy." Jake address Andrew- er... Drew. He ruffles his beanie, which in return Drew growls but laughs at the same time.
We all four stand there for a good while. Drew still munches on his cookies, slowly, taken in the awkward silence. "Alice, are you still mad at Dawn or Jake. It seems your mad. Yeah your mad." He mumbles the last part to himself.
"Andy go back to the dining room and finish your food. Don't want to get crumbs on the floor." Alice says while glaring at Jake and me.
"It's Drew." He mumbles annoyingly. He trudges along, leaving the three of us standing there.
Alice glares at me, her arms crossed around her chest. She looks tired if anything.
"It's not my fault. You know that." I finally speak.
"It's not always about you Dawn, is it." Her eyes sting.
"What is your problem?" Jake steps forward, but I pull him back. "What's going on?"
"Tell him." She pesters me.
"I-I made Alice tell Casper she cheated on him." I know Jake and Alice are close, so I don't know if he will be angry at me for pressuring her.
He looks at me with furrowed brows, then back to Alice. "What happened?"
"We broke up." Her eyes fall to the floor.
"Was it bad?" He asks.
She nods her head simply.
Jake let's go of my hand, which only pains me. He ruffles his hair back, but soon connects our hands, causing my heart to mold together. "Look, whatever is going on between you two, it's none of my business. Both of you stop being pussies and get over yourself." Alice's eyes look back up at him in anger. "He deserved to know. You know he did Al."
"I know." She pains out. "That's not why I'm upset. Like I said, it's not all about you Dawn."
"Then what the fuck is wrong with you."
"LEGER RAPED ME!" She screams out.
Not a second goes by when Jake turns on his heel. Alice's eyes widen open. "Stop him!" She begs me.
I run towards Jake, considering his strides take a total of five steps of mine until he reaches his car.
I grab his shoulder, but he he easily pushes me off without a glance when he unlocks his car door, almost hopping in. "Jake stop! What are you doing!?"
"I'm going to fucking kill him!" The engine roars along with his voice, and all I can do is jump on his windshield when his car roars forward.
The car stops immediately, causing me to fall back on the hard gravel. Scratches fall across my scalp, digging into the staples.
"Are you out of your fucking mind!" Jake screams out the car. "Move, dumbass!"
I get up, and jump again on his wield shield. "I fucking dare you to drive!" My stare deeply into his eyes. "You can't do anything about it."
"You really can't." I hear Alice. I turn my eyes slightly. She's at the back of his car, so he can't reverse.
I look back to Jake. His breathing jagged, but he lets go of the engine. He slumps back into his seat.
_
"Why?" He asks. We somehow got back into Alice's house. Drew is mumbling to himself in the kitchen; I'm sure he heard everything.
"Because I was vulnerable. That same day that I dropped off Dawn to your house , I went straight to the Underground. I thought Grayson and Tame would keep me company, but JC found me. And.. well we drank. Drank until I could barley speak. Next thing I know... There's Leger, and I told him that Casper and I broke up. That he can't touch me, but... he did. Of all the lies, he broke his own rules. He isn't allowed to touch me if I'm not with anyone involved in the Underground. He's not fucking allowed." She starts crying.
Jake doesn't move from his seat, but I do. I go up on my knees to her. "I'm sorry that this happened." That's all I can really say.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. It happened, and I want to kill him. I want him dead. Gone."
"Alice-." Jake starts.
"There are no cameras in here." She answers him. "I broke them all last week, except the kitchen."
"He has your house spiked?" I ask.
She laughs bitterly. "Every person associated in the Underground has at least one camera in the house. Go ahead, ask Jake where his is?" She motions to him.
"Where?" My voice cracks.
"It was in my room, but ever since the night after you got drugged by Dawson, I moved it into a Terry's room. Leger or his goons haven't caught on yet."
"Or they have, and they just haven't found the right time to use that against you." Alice counters.
"Alice." Andrew's voice is quiet and sad as he enters the living room. "I'm hungry."
"The turkey won't be done until a few hours. You can eat some mash potatoes if you'd like." She says just as quietly.
"I think I know why I'm hungry." He tells her.
"Why?" She asks.
"I threw up." He says bluntly.
"Are you alright?"
"No." He shakes his head.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No."
He stares at her for a while, and I can tell he doesn't know what to say or how to say that he does care for her. But I'm sure she knows. He walks up the stairs; to where I assume his bedroom.
"He heard." Jake says what we were all thinking about.
"Doesn't matter. He doesn't know who Leger is, and after I have a talk with him, he won't blather to his dad and our mom."
"We need to do something about this." Jake grits. "Now more then ever."
"And what do you propose because I'm open ears." Alice leans back into the couch.
"We assassinate him; make it look like an accident."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It will be. I've been trying to recruit some people about it, but I have to make sure there loyal to me in order to make it happen."
The door bell rings, and all three of us jump.
"Who could that be?" I finally speak. My skin running cold.
"Richard doesn't come home until 6:30pm." Alice frowns. She walks slowly to the door. A pin can drop, and I'd still be able to hear her terrified breathing.
She looks through the peep whole. Her body slumps down, as she opens the door swiftly. "I told you to come tomorrow. Today is thanksgiving." She says.
"We need to talk." I hear the familiar voice outside.
"About?"
"I talked to Tame yesterday. About what happened." The unknown voice says. The person steps in, causing Alice to step back. It's Casper. He's in a leather jacket and some dark jeans.
"It's not like you care." Alice says coldly.
"Don't be like that."
"Be like what? You're the one who kicked me out."
"I just need to know if you're okay."
"Would you rather me lie to you, or tell you the truth."
I'm snapped out of attention when Jake shakes my shoulder, "Let's give them some space." He whispers in my ear.
Out of all the people I know, I'm probably the most nosiness of them all. I groan annoyingly, but nod my head. He grabs my wrist instead of my hand to pull me upstairs.
"We need to talk." Casper repeats to Alice.
"Then talk." Alice says, and that's the last thing I hear of them when we enter a bedroom.
It's Andrew's- I mean Andy's- or Drew's. He sits at his desk, his head hangs low, while the screen monitor is black.
Jake releases my wrist, to my hand. I look down at the hand shaking in mine, and I can only imagine what Jake's thinking right now.
"Drew?" Jake calls to him.
He doesn't say anything, but just shrugs his shoulders in alert that he knows we are in here.
Jake leads me to Drew's bed, and we sit on the edge. "What's wrong?" Jake asks.
Drew turns around to us. His face not sad or happy, but more so confused if anything. "Who's Leger?" Drew asks without answering Jake's question.
Jake sighs, looking down at his lap. I could tell he is just as confused. He doesn't know what to say; how to say it. Because letting Drew know will only cause him at more risk.
I look at Jake, then back at Drew. My lips move before I can even process what I'm going to say. "He's a bad man. That's all you need to know." I speak.
Jake looks up at me.
"Why did he do that to Alice?" Drew furrows his brows. "Does he like her?"
"When you like someone you don't hurt them." I say slowly. "Raping someone is not good."
Drew nods in understanding. "I should feel sad." He says. "But I don't know if I am."
"You are." Jake finally speaks. "You just don't know how to express it. We've been over this. You're not a robot; you just need to process your emotions a little slower than others."
Drew nods his head again. "Is Dawn yours." He quickly changes the subject, that if someone were to walk in here, you would think that was all we were talking about.
"Yes she's mine."
"And he's mine." I smile, looking up to Jake. His cheeks redden, and I want to kiss him right now. Although, I don't want to make Drew uncomfortable.
"How'd you get her?"
"I still don't know." Jake laughs.
"I think Reese is hot." Drew blurts out.
"Alice's friend?" Jake questions. I didn't know they met.
"Yes. She came over the other day, but I couldn't even speak. I don't know why I couldn't speak."
"You were nervous. That's normal. When you do talk to her, don't call her hot."
"What do I say?" Drew whines.
"First you got to have a normal conversation with her. Then you can either call her pretty or beautiful."
"Why not hot?" Drew says completely confused again.
"Because she's more than a three letter word."
He said something like that the second time we were together sexually.
"Well obviously. She's a billion organisms." He says matter a factly.
I laugh, which causes Jake to smile. Drew doesn't get it, but his cheeks perks up. Our entire conversation was inflicted with yells downstairs, but the yells have subsided.
"Should we go check on them?" I ask.
"No nosy." Jake teases me.
"I'm just worried."
"Worry about us. Okay? Alice is a big girl when it comes to her own relationships."
"Are you mad at me for making her tell Casper?"
"Yes and no."
"What?"
"Yes, I'm mad because it's none of your fucking business. No because I frankly don't give a fuck, and ultimately Alice had to tell him."
Drew stares wide eyed at both of us in pure confusion. Instead of butting in, he turns back around from us, back to his computer. It's better if he's out the loop sometimes.
There is a knock on the side of the door. Both Jake and my eyes look back. Alice teary eyed, stares back at us. "The turkey is ready, Drew." She says.
Drew happily turns around, "Yes!" He screeches as he zooms past her from the doorway.
"Let it cool down first!" She yells after him. She looks back at us. "You can have some too before his dad gets here in a few hours."
"Everything alright?" Jake stands, letting go of me in the process.
"Yes." She nods. "I don't want to talk about it right now." Her eyes glossy. She laughs nervously under Jake's serious stature. "I don't." She smiles painfully. Jake walks to her slowly. Bringing his arms around her. She furrows her brows in confusion. His affections throwing her off in a loop. "What happened to the stoned cold cousin?" She says when they release the hug. I sneak upon them both; wrapping my arm around Jake's. "I see." She answers, looking at our arms together. "Look, I know I've been angry at you Dawn, and it's only because I'm mostly angry at myself. I should have told him sooner; maybe none of this would have happened if I weren't so selfish with my secrets."
"I'm sorry too. I just feel like, if I would have never made you say anything to Casper, would he do that to you?" I refer to Leger's doings without saying the ugly truth.
"Well, he would have wanted to have sex with me either way. Either way, it's still rape-e." She coughs out. "Let's eat." She says. She walks down the hall; each step taking her a few seconds to think about.
I look up to Jake. He's angry; beyond livid. I don't know what to do to make it better for him.
"You heard her. Let's eat." I lead the way; pulling him behind me.
"I can't let that happen to you, or I'd rather kill myself." I hear Jake say as we reach the steps, but I can't say anything because then it becomes all too real. If Leger finds out of Jake and I; I wouldn't be able to overcome this horrific upbringing of despair.
We stay for an hour or two. Most of it was filled with awkward talkings of Drew and Alice. Drew really wanted to know what kind of shampoo Reese wore everyday. To which Alice says she has no clue, but that it smelt of roses and coconut. Drew hates roses; there too girly for Reese he says. Alice then proceed to tease Drew that she would exploit his little crush; if he wouldn't stop pestering her about what type of food Reese ate in a daily basis. Stating that he wanted to get to know the person he was starting to like more than others. That's the way he put, but in translation to me, it's falling in love with.
We leave after. Jake high fives Drew because neither of them like affectionate situations more than the other. Alice and I seem to amend most of our incoming problems, and I know this because she hugs me longer than necessary. I also think it's because it's what she needs right now. He will pay. Leger. JC. The Underground.
All of them.
Mini A/N: next 2 chapters are private... 1st one published already...