chapter 29 -
time we met ★彡
"overwhelmed by every little thing, torn apart, unraveled at the seams"
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The distress signal was not like any she had witnessed, frantically, nurses paged her from every clinic, every room and every station, all telling her of the new discovery her partnering doctor had witnessed. She rushed down twelve flights of stairs, having no time to wait for the elevator, red stiletto heels digging into the backs of her ankles as she skipped steps, manicured nails pushing her black curled hair into a tight bun as she frantically checked her buzzing blackberry, reading the new messages flying in.
Damian needs you! Stop what you're doing you need to see this!
Get down to room 649!
The list just kept piling up, and she felt the strain in her face as she braced herself for what the breakthrough in Damian's unresponsive patient could be. He was one of those patients they considered a dead end; they couldn't find ways to help him, because he refused to cooperate, to talk and to listen. The original diagnosis was dissociative identity disorder, but judging the frantic calls Hyejin was receiving, it had to be something more.
She smiled at a nurse who rushed in behind her, handing files and a laptop to her as she strode into the room where Damian sat with his head rested in between his hands, watching the monitors of the patient.
„What has he done?" Hyejin murmured, adjusting her glasses on carefully as she pulled the laptop round and placed it down on the desk, bending down to watch the bright screen as the patient began to tear apart the straitjacket. That mustn't be it, even if it were strange, they'd seen it before.
No. It was what came next that made Hyejin adjust her glasses and zoom in closer to get a better look. „Is that a tail?" Damian waved his hand for her to continue watching. And she turned back in time to see his body covered in fur, and his limbs bent in ways a human's simply should not, she bit her bottom lip, shutting her eyes suddenly at the gruesome sight, opening her eyes slowly a minute or so later to see this silver furred creature laying in the place of a young boy. „Oh shit," was all she could say, turning to Damian who not once tore his eyes from the live screen, the angry beast trapped inside a cage tearing down the walls and howling in agony and distress.
„An hour he's been like this. I can't believe what I saw. I just ... this is fairytale." Hyejin gave him a scarce, disapproving, glance. Then she turned back to the screen and studied the animal a little longer.
„You know this isn't a fairytale, once he's ... turned back, which I assume he will, get a DNA sample, get his blood, test it. I ... I've never seen this before, but surely it's a similar case to Kim ..."
„That boy is not a beast like this -"
„Don't call him a beast!" Hyejin snapped, removing her glasses and turning to the nurses, „Get room 673 ready, we can't keep him in this one after he's safe again. I'm giving you one chance now to back out of this case, because what your dealing with is no normal patient." She met the eyes of every medical professional in the room, all straightening their shoulders and keeping a firm gaze in their eyes. „You are going to help this boy. Like we did before, maybe he's a little trickier, but he needs our help, okay?"
„Yes Ahn," chorused the voices, and she smiled as she watched them all rush to work, some skittering down the halls with gloves and spray, preparing the new room for their very important patient. Once she knew everyone was confident with their work, she turned to Damian who was jotting down his observations of the wolf's behaviour in his notes.
„This is still a boy, Ian, don't mix him with an animal, not even in your mind."
„Don't doubt me and I won't. I'm just getting his behaviour, seeing if it correlates with his behaviour in his ... other state." Joining his side, Hyejin circled her finger over the microphone buzzer, glancing at Damian with uncertainty. „He doesn't answer us, we've already tried."
„Will he do this again? If we could get his readings when he does, it would be very helpful in treat-"
„Do you want to die?!" Damian shouted a tad too loud, shutting his notes and sighing dejectedly, „I'm not saying he is an animal when I say this Hyejin, all I'm saying is that you cannot go near this boy like this. Just like you couldn't with Kim. They're as dangerous as each other because they can't control it. He would kill you." Though she hated to believe the intelligent asshole, Hyejin nodded at his words leaning back to watch the screen as she twirled her ring around her finger.
„When was the last time he spoke?" Damian huffed, standing up and walking over the corner bench to get a cough, pointing his finger to the screen for Hyejin to watch him whilst he got the drinks.
„Before he became like this, he asked about Taehyung again, then asked how long he'd been here. I ... I can't find it in myself to tell him; he's been here for almost seven months now. Because it makes me feel so helpless. Why can't I help him?"
„You need to talk to him about Taehyung. Clearly Jungkook responds to conversations about him. If his accomplice is our key to helping him, we need to utilise it." Her words took awhile to sink in as Damian poured the boiling water into the two mugs, swirling a sachet of sugar into each before lifting them to bring over. Hyejin's eyes stayed locked on the screen, watching the wolf pace, looking to be calming down.
„We'll try," he agreed, sitting back down just in time to see the wolf collapse onto its side, and in less than thirty seconds, his fur had melted back into his body and his pale scarred skin could be seen clearly through the monitor. Hyejin stood up, noting his lack of clothing and his deathly pale skin. „Something's wrong with him."
„Get the nurses to dress him and onto an ECG. Make sure his heart rate is steady."
„It's the blood," murmured Damian, still hooked on the screen as he pointed to the boy's arms, scars reopened so that blood smeared the floor. „I think he may have developed some form of haemophobia from the episode. Whatever he saw that day has jarred him and the sight of blood just makes him ... freeze."
„And apparently faint too, page the nurse." She didn't wait for any further response, slipping her phone from her pocket and calling her most recent contact, pressing the phone in between her ear and shoulder as she hurried to the chamber entrance to meet up with the nurses. „Honey, hi, I'm really sorry but I'm not going to make it to dinner tonight. One of my patients has had an emergency and they really need me."
„Hyejin it's fine! I've got the cats to keep me company! They might eat your food but we'll pretend I don't see them. See you in the morning!" She couldn't help but laugh at her ridiculous husband, ending the call with a quick sincere love you, before running up to the nurse and swiping her card over the locks.
„He's unconscious but I want you to tie his limbs down anyway. Your safety comes before anything so if he wakes up you run." The orders were serious and solemn, Hyejin helping to lift the bed through the door and into the shredded room. The padding on the walls had been ripped by razor sharp claws, that belonged to the boy shivering on the floor, body twitching with every cut off breath. „Get him under respiratory support." On the count of three, two of the nurses lifted him into the stiff bed, Hyejin helping to tie down his arms as she checked his throat for any blockage.
„Do we need another jacket?" For a moment, Hyejin stared at the innocent young face, and was easily fooled by his youth, but her mind that had memorised his report knew what had to be done.
„Yes. He's not safe with us or himself right now." They took him from the room, and Hyejin crouched down to pick up the remains of the room, running her thumb over the blood smeared edges that had been sliced through effortlessly. This was going to be harder than anything she had ever dealt with. Because there was a war going on inside this young boy's mind. A war that needed peace after twenty years of despair and conflict.
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The first time he had woken, the voice of a woman could be faintly heard, she sounded kind, but he was too scared to think about it. The second time he jolted awake in the small sanitised room, Kook felt like throwing up. Now that he could see, and could hear the silence, he whimpered into his arms as his eyes flickered up to the camera trained on him.
„They saw ... everything," cried Kook, shuffling his legs towards his body on the bolted down bed, fingers tracing the inside of the canvas as he studied the new room. It was smaller than the last, but held more life. There was a convenient stainless steel toilet in the corner that Kook was thankful for, eyes shifting to a desk he assumed was to be used by the doctors. Feeling curious, he tried to get up and explore, trying to slip from the bed only to almost fall face first as he felt a force pull against his ankle. How could he miss the tight straps attaching him to the bed, eyelids fluttering shut as he tried to balance himself and prevent the fall.
When he opened them again, he began to trace his body, dressed back in a replica of the clothing he'd worn earlier, nervously he curled his fingers towards his wrists, stretching his leg so that his khaki pants were lifted and scabs came into view. The moment the dark red stripes that wrapped his ankle like a cuff met his eyes, his throat filled with phlegm and his heart rate slowed. Why? The same irrational fear spread through his body as the time in the shower, and he quickly covered the scars and shut his eyes trying to block out the image.
The crackling of audio swept over the room and the first voice he had heard in awhile comforted him.
„Good afternoon, Jungkook. I can see you are confused." Kook clenched his fists, burying his face further into his garments to focus solely on the voice. He didn't answer. „Your Doctor, Damian, he thinks you may have developed a phobia towards blood. He's still figuring out why this has occurred, are you feeling any better? We gave you some endone for the pain you must be feeling now. So you may feel a bit groggy."
„Are ... a-a-a-are you afraid of me?" Stuttered Kook, volume gentle, as he listened to the breathing of this woman who seemed to be trying to help him. „Did ... did you -"
„We are going to help you, Jungkook. I promi-"
„I do not need to be helped," he snapped, squeezing his eyes shut and biting his lip at the outburst. „You should have killed me. That's what I deserve." There was silence for a moment, until the woman returned.
„Jungkook, my name is Hyejin. And my job is to help you. Your mother has a very powerful lawyer, and she is doing everything in her power to keep you alive. And that's why we need you to talk to us. Okay? Could you do that for us?" Kook did not answer, his eyes glazed over at the mention of his mother. And her words cluttered his mind with guilt and sorrow.
I'm not your mother.
„Is she alive? Why is she protecting me? Why ..." he couldn't hold in the rising sob, spluttering it into his shirt as he held down any further cries, his breath blocked by the sickness of his guilt.
„She is alive. And she just wants to help you." Hyejin knew she had lost her patient, watching him shake his head fervently through the monitor, smiling sadly as he shook with silent tears. „It will be okay," she whispered after turning off the microphone, turning away and smoothing out the wrinkles on her forehead.
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The weeks passed, and Hyejin watched through tiring mornings and dark evenings, this boy refuse any form of care from the nurses who would speak to him behind protection; whether it behind a door or a gun. This tactic only isolated their patient behind a wall, as he laid alone in this room that was always bright and always silent. He was free to walk around, but he hardly ever did, only to use the toilet, nothing more. The rest of the day he laid on the bed, eyes locked on the wall, the monitor able to see each flicker of colour in his eyes. And it was blatantly clear that this was not working.
That this fucked up method of isolation was not helping this boy who cried himself to sleep every night. Who chanted over and over, please kill me. Hyejin saw all of it, sat beside this boy's doctor who spent his nights with his head buried in his hands, trying to wrack his brain for something that could help this ... fairytale.
Hyejin had done it before. She had helped someone who was once considered a fairytale. But this was a big step up from glowing red eyes and blood lust. This was animalistic uncontrolled rampages ... on top of all that other stuff. It was all control. But how to find that control was what worried Hyejin. Could they find something that would keep this boy safe from the world?
After the fourth week of Jungkook refusing to eat a thing, and lashing out anytime they tried to sedate him, Hyejin had enough. She marched into work, dumping her bag at the door and storming down to the cell like chamber, pushing away the guard who tried to warn her that the patient was angry, that he was dangerous.
„You think I don't already know that?!" She snapped, shoving the built man to the side, „Let me in." Her firm gaze brought the guard under her control, and he removed himself from the door so that she could swipe her pass. The door clicked open and she slid inside before shutting it behind her.
The shock that went through her when she saw the patient in front of her eyes, instead of through a monitor was real, and it squeezed at her chest as she saw every bone of this scrawny boy laying on the bed, his bright red eyes glued to the visitor as he blinked slowly, clenching and unclenching his fists inside his clothed prison. „Jungkook," she whispered, feeling like this boy was too fragile for any higher volume. The red eyes followed her every movement, but he did not speak. „This must feel so hard. We are trying so hard ... please give us time." Scarlet turned away, shutting his eyes and breathing in a cry, face scrunched up in pain and anger. „Am I making you uneasy?" Hyejin stepped closer, collecting up a fresh bowl of soup that had been dropped off during the early hours whilst the boy had been asleep.
„I just ..." was all he could manage, lips trembling as his dangerous eyes followed the bowl of warm lentils and vegetables. He collapsed back into the pillows as he tried to sit, Hyejin rushing forward without hesitation and placing the bowl down beside the boy, her fingers scooping his head up so that he didn't fall back.
„You need to eat," she reassured, wiping the sweat and grime all over his face with a rag tucked into her pocket. Her touch was gentle, and Scarlet kept his eyes closed as the first contact in an unmeasurable time period soothed his weak body.
„I will hurt you," he replied, stopping her wrist with his fingers, trying to push it away.
„No you won't. I promise. Just, focus on my words. Alright?" Scarlet nodded, shutting his eyes and opening his mouth slightly, letting Hyejin spoon feed him. The first taste of fibre and substance calming his mind as his eyes shifted to black pools. „You mentioned a name," she began, hushing Kook as he cried in pain, eyes flashing bright gold and red before settling back to midnight. „Taehyung."
„Yes." The immediate answer surprised Hyejin, and she smiled down at her patient as she continued to feed him.
„He ... he made a request during one of his hearings. He asked that we would not mention him in our treatment."
„Why?" The distress in that one word brought that smile to a falter, and she lowered the spoon back to the bowl as she sighed. „Why did he want me to forget ... about him?"
„Because he worried about you. He felt that speaking about him would hurt you more. Jungkook... You might never see him again," Hyejin explained carefully, crouching down onto her knees so that she could look into those bright eyes that searched her own for an explanation. „We have a lot of power here, over you. But some of your future cannot be controlled by us. So if your mother loses her case ... you'll ..."
„I will be killed," Kook finished her sentence, inhaling sharply at the sudden possibility. For there was a big difference between wishing for death and being granted it. „But what if you can ... fix me? I can see him again?" The surging amount of hope that rushed through the weakened inpatient once again brought shock to Hyejin, as anytime she had seen this boy he was in deep sorrow and anguish. This. This new light of hope in his eyes brought her own up to the monitors, before returning to Kook.
„Maybe. We have proof that you are not able to control your actions, Jungkook. That is very crucial for your case, but if we can prove that you will be safe; that you can be safe. Safe enough to live a fresh life under control, then maybe you can see Taehyung again." She felt overjoyed to see the weak smile on her patients face, as he rested his back against the wall. And though Hyejin could not see, he was crossing his fingers, remembering that Namjoon once told him it would bring luck to his wishes. „Come on now, eat and we can start your assessments, okay?" Hyejin chuckled, reaching out to squeeze the boy's arm as he nodded slightly.
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The next week astounded not only Hyejin, but Damian too. The day he turned up to work, believing he had come up with some sort of treatment that would help to bring their patient up to communication, he was left dumbfounded to see that Hyejin was sitting beside the boy in the room and helping him to eat. Her progress had not made him anymore willing to talk to or be near any of the other nurses. Any time someone who wasn't Hyejin tried to come near him he would cry and lose his focus, mind falling back to ash.
So they only let Hyejin in. Damian watched behind the monitor, amazed to see the boy actively conversing with the woman. They talked about treatment, and Kook told as much of what he could remember to her. He really trusted her on the firm belief that she would bring Taehyung back; that she was his chance at finding his love and returning home. When she left, returning to the office, Damian sat on the chair in front of the monitor, raising an eyebrow at her as she poured herself a coffee.
„What happened? How did you make so much progress so quickly?"
„I talked to him," she mumbled, dumping a piece of fruitcake on her plate before walking over to the desk and taking her seat beside Damian with her notes. „He hadn't eaten in months, hadn't moved or talked. We have had him here for almost a year and yet we have gotten nowhere. And I realised why." Damian rose an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue. „Because we were scared of him. Fear gets us nowhere. Take away the wolf and the blood lust creature, and he is a twenty year old boy who is just as scared as us."
„A twenty year old boy who has killed half a village in a day. What is going to make such a psychotic being human again? He's fucked up, Hyejin." Those words alone made her angry, she hated the stigma this man had, the words he used to describe a troubled kid. He was creating a horrible stigma over the case, and some of their colleagues were beginning to believe it.
„Taehyung. He's what is going to be our saviour here. He loves that boy, Damian. And I don't care what your beliefs are, Taehyung is our best shot at helping him."
„It's barbaric." Hyejin gnawed at her lip, trying not to snap at the stubborn grown man. „It's unnatural and strange. Boys should not love eacho-"
„It's love, Damian. So you get your ass over that, or you leave this job to me." The lack of response brought her to stand, shutting her eyes before pointing to the door. „Get out."
„You can't kick me off this case, I have more power than you ever will."
„Then why can't you use that power of yours to help this kid?!" And she finally saw the disgust in Damian's eyes, sighing in frustration as she swept up his notes and crumpled them in her hand. „You don't know who he is Ian. Nor what he is. If you're not going to do anything, I will do this myself." Her nails dug into the males shoulder, before she stormed out of the room in her burgundy heels and deep black smock dress covered by her coat.
She rushed down the stairs, calling the coordinator office as she sent a quick message through her blackberry to her partnering colleagues. „Send for Eunwoo, I'm taking over this case and I need to discuss something with him."
„Ma'am isn't Damian the supervisor of this -"
„Don't talk to me about that pig I have more important things to do. Did I not give you a job to do?!" The nurses scattered from her path, flaming eyes of determination scaring them all to their areas as she swiped her card over the chamber key, striding inside to see Kook fiddling with his jacket, obviously interested in removing it.
„Hyejin? Is ... did she lose?" The fear and panic in his eyes struck her heart as she instantly shook her head, stepping forward and smoothing down his hair before cupping his cheeks gingerly.
„Shh ... no we haven't heard anything from her. Don't worry about your case, alright? You're not going to die."
„You are not supposed to make promises ..." Kook mumbled, biting his lip as he saw people rushing passed through the open door, jerking his head away as he groaned in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as he failed to keep his mind clear.
„I want you to meet someone, Jungkook. Someone who is very much like you. We found him a year or so back, and he's been under my care ever since. I think seeing him might help you to reconnect. Because that's what you're feeling, isn't it?"
„Isolation ..." he affirmed, cracking his neck as he strained to hold control. „I do not ... do not want to hurt you," he cried, breathing already unsteady.
„Hey, remember what we talked about! Think of Taehyung, hmm?" She watched his body immediately loosen, and his head fall forward, and she smiled as his grimace of pain faded away. „See, you can do it." Bright midnight eyes met hers, as his weak smile elicited one of her own. „You really have the most beautiful eyes, Jungkook."
„N-no ... I do not," sputtered the adolescent boy, his eyes staring bashfully at the ground, trying to hide the stars that could be seen swirling in his constantly shifting irises.
„Come on, let's take you to meet my other patient, yeah?" Though nervous and scared, Kook nodded to her words, letting her help him off the bed as his numb toes danced across the cold latex. He watched the pressure of his footsteps leave small indents in the floor before it returned to its previous state. The way the cords that held his arms in place swayed along to each thought out footstep.
He didn't even notice the guards that escorted him down an empty hallway, didn't notice the guns that stayed close to him, ready to shoot at any second. Nothing else but his own effect on the room around him was his interest, toes touching together as the soft feeling tingled up his body. It was still hard to walk, so he had to really focus on each bit of strength he needed to move. Occasionally, his body would topple forward, and Hyejin would grab his shoulder as he breathed heavily. „Almost there, you okay to stay in here alone? I have to organise your medicine, alright?"
„Why do I need medicine?" Kook mumbled, eyes now focused on the door they were approaching.
„It's to help your mind think. Stops you from feeling all that pain." He nodded, distracted, watching the door open before he was escorted inside. There was a glass window in the centre of the room that stretched from one side to another, making it impossible for anything to reach the other side. „Now, you stay here whilst I go get Kim alright?" She patted his shoulder soothingly, before the guards and she left him in the silent spacious room. There wasn't much more than the other places he had been, and it once again made his spine tingle with discomfort and his jaw tighten.
„Just ... something. Why can there not be something?" His mind told him to break out in a burst of anger and leave the place he despised, the security weaker in this particular room. For a moment Scarlet studied the door with interest, before he squeezed his eyes shut and did what Hyejin told him to do. Think of him. Think of seeing him again. The sound of the door opening did not distract him, as he stood with his back to the screen and his eyes shut tight.
There was silence, as the two patients stood in the same room, yet never felt more separate. It was when the weak breathing of someone else caught Gold's sharp hearing that he spun on his heels and stumbled back into the door, deadly golden eyes staring at the patient on the other side, trying to steady his breath but not knowing how to calmly, his nostrils flaring as he exhaled angrily.
„You!" he snarled, nails tearing the fabric of his jacket as he tore his limbs free, stretching his fingers as he stared down the new arrival.
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