The sun was shining through my curtains the next morning; it was the eighteenth of April. Oliver's birthday and it meant that tomorrow was the day, that today was my last full day with him. My last day knowing that I would wake up tomorrow and he would still be there, still waiting for me. Tomorrow was our last everything.
It took longer than usual to get out of bed, I had been up most of the night on the phone to Henry, trying to arrange a few things for today. It was the least I could do. The sun was bright behind my curtains, small columns lit up the dark of my room. I could hear the birds chirping as I laid there. How were we twenty-four hours away? How had these months gone so quick? I wasn't ready for this yet; I wasn't ready to face that last goodbye.
Would I ever be ready?
Sighing deep I finally persuaded my body to get up, my eyes felt puffy from my tears and my head was aching. Pulling my clothes out the wardrobe before sitting down and looking at my reflection, my tired, broken reflection. One year ago the person looking back at me in the mirror was completely different, she was content, happy and excited for her future. She was full of life, full of adventure. The person staring back at me now looked as though she had weathered a thousand storms, her eyes looked as tired as she had watching the sun rise and set every day with no rest. She was exhausted, she was sad and I could almost see her heart breaking in front of me.
I shook my head and applied the usual light make-up, coving the dark rings under my tired eyes. I pulled my clothes on and put my hair up into a pony tail. Usually I would've gone and fixed myself something to eat but I was never hungry, I never wanted food. All I wanted to was to be there, I wanted to be there every second, I didn't want to miss a moment of him.
As I reached the kitchen I pulled my phone off charge to check the time, it was seven thirty. I boiled the kettle and made myself a hot cup of coffee to get me through the day, to keep me awake. I was exhausted, I felt as though I had been hit by a steam roller. I sat on my couch and mindlessly sipped the coffee in my hands, the sun lighting up the whole room as I sat there. I could see it catching the dust motes, little rainbow balls flittering past my eyes.
I placed my now empty cup on the coffee table, taking a deep breath and ready to face the day. I grabbed my bag and packed my phone in it, slipping my shoes on and grabbing my keys from the tv unit on my way. I locked up the door and made my way towards the prison, the sun was warm on my back. Accustomed to the harshness of winter it felt amazing to have a little natural warmth on me.
I walked the ever familiar walk to my office, a creature of habit I tossed everything in and made my way to the canteen, Oliver sat at our table. I found myself hesitating before stepping though, this would be his last day sat here. This was our last meeting here; this was the last time we would sit here together. I took a deep breath and walked through the door, Oliver looked up and smiled at me, his eyes were bloodshot and I knew then that he had been crying before I got here.
"Morning" He smiled "It's normal right?" He laughed and pointed to his face
I took his hand "I'd say so"
He smiled and squeezed my hand before letting go to finish his breakfast, he was quiet, I knew the reality of what was happening was setting in. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to comfort a man about to be executed. I tapped my fingers on the table "Happy birthday"
He smiled at his bowl "No cake?"
"Not today" I laughed "How are you?"
He shrugged "Better now you're here" He finished his food and nodded his head in the direction of his cell "Shall we?"
"I thought you'd never ask" I smiled at him, we stood and made our way to his cell. I fobbed us in and we both laid down on the bed as the door closed, rolling over to face him I kissed him, never wanting our lips to part "How does it feel to be thirty?"
He laughed "Feel's like being twenty-nine...Just with added death around the corner"
"Sometimes your sense of humour amazes me" I smiled "I got you something?"
"What?" He propped himself up on his elbows "You didn't- "
"I know" I put my finger to his mouth to stop him talking "I know I didn't have to, and believe me it's nothing extravagant...Just sentimental"
He eyed me suspiciously "You got me a candle didn't you?"
"What?" I laughed at him "No, you even said yourself they're prohibited"
He laughed and leant down to kiss me again, soft and sweet. I smiled and watched as he laid back down, his chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of his breathing "Chloe?"
"Yeah?" I whsispered
"If we weren't in here, and you found out you only had twenty-four hours to live...What would you do?" He didn't look at me, he continued to stare above him.
"I- I don't know" I sighed, truthfully does anyone really know what they would do with their final twenty-four hours, there were so many things that any one person could do in that time frame "I would watch the sun come up, I would spend my day with my loved ones, I would indulge myself in life's finer things and I wouldn't take a second spent for granted"
"Mm" He nodded "I don't want to waste a second spent with you today" He wrapped his arm around me "I don't want to miss a single millisecond...Tomorrow this will all be gone"
"I know" My emotions failed me, a tear fell down my cheek, I felt his hand wipe it away and he pressed his lips to my forehead "It's okay to cry, Chloe"
I nodded and just moved closer to him, my head in his chest as we laid facing one another, his arms holding me, protecting me. My favourite sound filled my ears and I was happy again. I took a deep breath, taking in every note of his smell. I didn't want to ever forget him, any part of him.
Before we knew it Henry had come to let us know that it was lunch time. Oliver was taken to the canteen as I headed towards the staff room, my feet dragged as though they were made of lead. I pushed the door open and a few of the guards were there enjoying their lunch break, as usual I headed straight to the coffee machine and requested my usual. Even this reminded me of him, the smell of the coffee brought back memories of him teasing me over my apparent caffeine addiction.
The machine beeped and I went and sat down on the chairs, Harper, one of the few female guards came and sat beside me. We had shared a few conversations, she was in her late forty's and was one of the prisons longest employee's. She put her hand on my knee and smiled at me sympathetically "Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah" I sipped my coffee "Is it supposed to be this hard?"
I felt the tears start falling again as I spoke to her, she took my hand in hers and gave it a comforting squeeze "Of course it is. It doesn't matter what they've done, you still spent every day nearly for those months with them. You're only human"
I nodded, she gave me a quick hug before leaving to resume her shift, a few of the guards apologised to me as they left. I just nodded and thanked them until finally I was alone, all I could hear was the mechanical whirring of the vending machines and the drip of the tap by the sink. I looked down at the cup in my hands and noticed that I hadn't even drunk half my coffee that was cold by now. I sighed as I put it on the table in front of me, not in the mood to get up and pay for another one.
I laid my head back on the wall behind me and closed my eyes, my emotions were so unpredictable today. I didn't know if I was going to burst into tears or break out in a fit of rage at the injustice that was about to happen. My brain was going into over drive, I was finding it hard to process even the simplest of things said to me, I hardly remembered how to even function.
The door opened, my eyes remained closed as I sat there "Chloe?" It was Henry
I opened my eyes to see him carrying a shop brought chocolate cake, plastic Tupperware tub and plastic spoons, we had planned this last night. I would be able to smuggle two slices into the cell when I went back. He smiled at me and set the cake down on the table "You okay?"
I nodded and watched as he went over to the drawer to get a knife. He crouched down and cut two slices, placing them gently in the tub. He clipped the sides to the lid and placed the spoons on top "Happy birthday, Oliver?"
He finally looked up at me, I had never been more grateful to have him as my brother than I did right now. He was risking so much by just knowing about us, yet he always found a way to help me, help us. I thanked him and carried the tub towards my office, as quick as I could. I quickly opened up my browser and found the image I wanted, printing it off I folded it up and hid the tub with the paper in my bag. I made the short walk to Oliver's cell and fobbed myself in as quick as I could. Oliver was sat on his bed, as usual waiting for me to arrive. He smiled at me and held his arms out for me to go into.
Of course I was happy to oblige.
"What you got in the bag?" He questioned
"Oh" I had almost forgotten, I stood up and placed my bag om the end of the bed, pulling the tub, cutlery and paper out. I opened the tub to reveal the rick chocolate sponge inside, Oliver took a deep breath and I could almost see his mouth start drooling. I then grabbed the paper and unfolded it, he laughed as he looked at the image I had printed out. I smiled, knowing that the image in fact was of lit birthday candles. "I couldn't forget your two dimensional candles"
"Naturally" He smiled, I wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry "So can I make a wish on these?"
"Of course, if you wish hard enough" I smiled, he looked at me with a grin on his face. I watched as he closed his eyes and blew on the piece of paper, I teared the paper where the flames met the candle, as if he had blown them out.
He laughed as I put the paper back in my bag, I handed him a spoon and we sat down and indulged ourselves in chocolate heaven. I watched as Oliver seemed to nearly overdose on chocolate, forgetting his taste buds have probably accustomed to prison food these many years. Seeing him enjoy something so simple made me happy, he licked his spoon and placed it back into the tub "That was" He locked his fingers "The best thing I have ever eaten, thank you"
"It was the least I could do" I smiled, I reached over and wiped some chocolate off the side of his lip. He held my hand to his face as I did.
His eyes were closed as he held my hand "My Chloe, my precious Chloe. I love you so much, I will forever be thankful that you saved me"
"But I didn't" I sighed "I didn't save you"
"You did" He smiled at me, placing a soft kiss on the palm of my hand "You saved my soul from eternal damnation" He winked as he said this
"Ever the comedian" I laughed placing everything back into my bag. We laid down beside one another again. I didn't even realise I had fallen asleep until the dreams started.
As usual I couldn't open my eyes, the same smell, the same sounds filled my ears. "C'mon Chloe" Ashton's voice sounded to the right of me again "You have to wake up soon, I need you to wake up"
"Shh Ashton" My mom's voice came again on my left "The doctors told you not to do that"
"They also said that there is every chance she can still hear us" His voice sounded desperate and so broken "She has to come back to me...She has to"
I heard his sobs fade into the distance again and I was suddenly awake. Henry was tapping my foot, at the end of the bed. Oliver was looking at me concerned "You okay?" He asked
"Yeah" I sat up and rubbed my eyes "Yeah, bad dream"
"You need to go home Chloe?" Henry sighed, knowing that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I wasn't ready to go home. I wasn't ready for tomorrow.
"No" I begged him "No, please Henry no"
"I'm sorry" He looked to Oliver sadness clear in his features as he silently begged him to help.
Oliver put his hand on my back and ran it up until he sat beside me with his arm around my neck "You gotta go home Chlo. It's just another day, I'll be here when you get here"
"I can't leave you" I broke down in tears "I can't leave you alone"
He placed a kiss on my head, holding me tight "You can. Come on, you know I'll be fine"
I looked at him, the tears made my vision blurry as I stared at his face. He smiled and nodded in encouragement as I contemplated just locking myself and him in here forever. I finally gave in; I didn't want to go. I wanted to hold him until the very last beat of his heart, the very last breath he took I wanted to be there. "I love you"
"I love you" He pressed his forehead to mine "More than you will ever know"
I finally prised myself away from him, watching as the door shut behind me. Henry placed his hand on my shoulder "You're going to be okay...I got you"
I shook his hand off me, I didn't want any other comfort than Oliver. The only person I wanted near me was him, my heart was breaking in every way possible. Henry apologised before walking off back towards his office, I sighed and contemplated going back in but I could see the guards were watching me and I knew that just wasn't going to be possible.
I walked back to my office, locking the door behind me. Closing the blinds and turning the lights off, my body slid down the door. My whole body ached as my heart broke. We had made it. I had got to the very end. I had made it to the very last day, tomorrow was the day my heart was going to shatter, the day my world would crumble around me...The day everything would change.