-- Jack --
The week that came and went was quite boring without Mark. It was surely not something that I felt happy about, having to spend an entire weeks away from Mark. As I sat in my man cave, listening to heavy metal and lifting the largest weights I had, I decided that busting Kellin's head open wasn't worth it after all. If I had to spend an entire week away from Mark all because of a fight, maybe the fight wasn't worth it. I might learn to keep my temper in check one day.
Not to mention the lecture I got from my mother. It was enough to make me want to stick my head in the garbage disposal and flip the switch on. My dad just stood back and listened. My mom wasn't going to let him come in to scold me, not after he'd been gone so long - if he'd tried, I probably would have hit him.
I had already lay down in my sheets that night, ready for Sunday to come along with the sunrise. Sleep was something that had kept me busy. If I wasn't sleeping, I was eating or in the shower. That's no surprise from my end of the family.
I curl up into my sheets, ready to shiver my way through dry sobs before going to sleep. Yeah, I missed him to the point I cried. I didn't like admitting it to anyone - so I hadn't - but this aching pain in my chest was killing me.
I missed his smile and his laugh. I missed the way his black hair swept over his face in a slight emo fashion when he was in a bad mood. I missed the brightness in his eyes when he got excited about something. I missed the cockiness that I had brought out in him. I missed the comfortable jokes exchanged. I missed the way we held each other and saved each other. I missed the fearlessness that had come along on our journey. I miss his free spirit. It had been so long, I had almost forgot what he had tasted like. The way he felt when he kisses me. I missed it all. The sting in my eyes and the dull pain in my chest was proof that I had feeling. I had love. So much love. So all I could do was hold the largest pillow I had and cry. I had all this love with no where to put it. So it turned to grief. Grief is just love with no where to go.
So as I lay there, silently shuddering from both the cold and my own self misery, there was a tap somewhere across my room.
My ears perked, making me sit up and listen close. Another tap soon sounded afterwards. Confused, I looked around. My eyes eventually landed on my window and I almost screamed with joy - it was Mark. I immediately hauled myself out of bed, thrusting my entire body in the direction of the window just so I could open it. There was a shit eating grin on his face as the window opened with a soft click and Mark let himself inside. I threw my arms around him, burying my head in the crook of his neck.
"It's good to see you too, Jack." Mark chuckled. I could hear the light tone in his voice and it comforted me.
I peppered kisses on his neck, smiling as he shuddered and sighed - I'll be keeping that in mind. I swayed softly with him, inhaling his scent for the first time in nearly a week. Tears sprung to my eyes as I held him tightly. I needed this.
"Mark," I softly muttered, "Oh, Mark."
"What's wrong Jack?" He asked me as he clasped me tightly, still shocked from having nearly two hundred pounds of crazy thrown at him.
"I missed you!" I muttered softly. I had to speak quiet; if I didn't, it would give away the fact that I was no longer alone.
Mark seemed taken aback by the words as I realized it was the first time I had ever said that to him. He eased and held onto me tighter.
"I love you." I muttered over and over, still peppering kisses on every inch of open skin I could find.
I could feel his smile as he connected his lips to mine. There was this new twist in my gut and I had an odd feeling about this moment. But God, it was perfect, so who was I to question what would happen next?
And surely, soft breaths were soon filing the room with the struggles to be quiet. I had never had an experience like the one Mark had given me, and just before we fell asleep, he held me tight in his arms.
I was at peace with myself.
•••
The morning came sure as the sun rose in the sky. It was also as sure as my mom standing in the doorway, staring down at Mark and myself as we lay there in our underwear.
She had this accusing look on her face as I sleepily smiled up at her. She didn't look happy, but what was there to be mad abo-
Wait... Oh shit.
My eyes went wide as realisation coursed through me and chilled my blood with its icy bite. I needed to wake Mark up. Now.
"Mark." I muttered, shaking him softly. "Mark Edward, wake up!" I spoke a little louder.
He stirred slightly somewhat opening his eyes.
"Your so handsome." He muttered with a sleepy grin before noticing my terrified expression. He brushed a green strand of hair back from my eyes. "What's wrong, baby?"
I nodded my head in my mothers direction and he peered over me, suddenly turning as pale as the sheets we lay on together.
"Mrs. McLoughlin," he sat up very slowly and rubbed sleep from his eyes as he tried to defend us, "I can explain."
"I'm sure you can." She softened to Mark, but turned to me and gave a slight growl. I gulped lightly - there was going to be all hell to pay for this. "Both of you get dressed and come downstairs." She said.
Time seemed to stand still as I looked at Mark and he looked at me. His eyes flashed in fear and I almost wanted to hide underneath the bed myself. I looked over at Mark as he stood in frantic panic.
"What have I done?" He repeated over and over.
"Mark," I said softly. I reached for his arm, but he pulled away from me. It almost seemed like he was afraid to touch me now.
He got on his pants and a shirt, leaving my room swiftly. I stood and quickly pulled on my jeans, following. We made our way downstairs, my heart still on my sleeve from him blowing me off.
My mother, my father, Malcolm, and Hannah all sat around, staring up and Mark and myself. I had no clue about Mark, but I was a deer in headlights. My heart had completely stopped and now I was sure I was going to die. This would be how I go out.
"Boys, you may as well sit down and tell us what is going on." My mother directed us to an open couch and we both took a seat.
"Just tell us what's happening. We already know, but we need full closure. I want to hear you say it." My mother demanded.
"Mrs. McLoughlin..." Mark began, voice fading out.
"We're gay." I blurted.
Marks head snapped over to me and I immediately shrank.
"I was going to lay it on softly, but since that just popped out, yes, we're gay. We are gay and we have been together for a good while now. How long, Jack?" Mark asked me.
"A few weeks." I admitted, my eyes never faltering from my mothers as I grabbed Marks hand.
"I had no idea you were gay." Hannah told me
"Jack..." Malcolm started, "I knew you were seeing this boy, but I didn't know that you were having sex with him."
My mother turned to Malcolm and snapped, "You knew?"
"Okay, listen," I cut my mother off, "last night was the only time I had ever done anything like that with Mark. That was the first time!" I defended.
"And believe me, Mrs. McLoughlin, I would never hurt Seán or do any wrong by him in any way, fashion, or form. I truly care about him with everything in my soul. I love him. If you could find it to accept me and accept us, I promise you will not regret it. I would give anything to be accepted as your son in law." Mark said earnestly, gripping my hand lightly.
"I personally don't like this very much, but Mark, I do like you. You are a good boy," my mother began, making my heart soar in hope, "I wouldn't want him in a relationship with any other boy, but i really like you. Give me some time to think about this, and I'll get back to you. Until then, go home and get some sleep. You seem to need it and I'm sure your folks are worried about you." My mother told Mark.
Mark seemed to falter slightly at the mention of his dad and brother.
"I doubt it, but I guess it's time I get going." Mark admitted, looking out the window at the pouring rain. He looked over at me sympathetically and he let go of my hand. He stood, going up the stairs and returning shortly with a flannel. He shot me one last glance - a soft yet stern look - before he slipped on his red and black flannel, walking out just before my sister could offer him a ride home.
I sat a few moments before standing and bolting out after him. My mother called my name and I ignored her as I went after Mark.
I met him in the middle of my driveway, reaching for his arm. He pulled away from me, a soft sigh being heard over the pouring rain.
"Mark." I breathed, eyes filling with tears as I reached for him again.
He'd completely turned me soft.
Once I grabbed at his arm again, he finally turned and faced me. His chocolate colour eyes clashed with my blue ones and they softened instantly, seeing my tears that were now freely pouring down my face along with the tears of Mother Nature.
"Jack," he started softly, "we need to stop seeing each other."
I felt my heart shatter and suddenly it became hard to breathe. My hands somewhat began to shake. My vision was blinded by the rain and the tears from my face.
"Mark," I sob softly, "your all I have!"
"And your all I have, Jack, but we have to stay apart for a little while. Maybe it's best. Go on and find someone to love you. Right now, I can't do it. You need the love and I just can't give it to you with both of our families knowing we're together. It's scary. Word is spreading like wildfire in this small town. Find a good relationship for the meantime. I have to deal with my dad and brother so I need to go. I love you." He told me, giving me one last kiss before he turned and walked away.
Sobs freely escaped my lips as I watched him walk away. I memorized how he looked, his facial expressions, how he kissed me that one last time. That could be the very last I ever got of him. As reality hit me like a truck, I fell to my knees clutching my chest. I never thought I'd be in this position. I never thought that I'd be the one sitting in the pouring rain with a sharp pain in my chest, praying to a god I don't even believe in. Praying that he would turn around and come back. He didn't.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Malcolm.
"Come on, little brother." He said sympathetically.
"Let's get you inside and out of these wet clothes."
--------
Sorry that the end was kind of rushed. I'm also sorry that I haven't updated in a long ass time. While I didn't have wifi, I was working on other material so I took a short break from writing this book. That's why there aren't as many updates as normal.
I really appreciate your patience. Love you all my family.
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- Samuel