*Egypt 1334 B.C.*
{Y/N} rushes to the TARDIS the Doctor walks in before her.
"Bye, then. Lovely meeting you. Sorry about the mess!" {Y/N} calls as she goes to go inside but is pulled back by an elegant woman in a sheer gown and tall blue headdress, who pushes her up against the TARDIS door and strokes his hair, {Y/N} squirms.
"Why is it always me?" she asks no one in particular.
"You think I'll just let you leave without me, after what we've just been through?"
"You've got the Egyptian people to rule, Queen Nefertiti. They'll need reassuring after that weapon-bearing giant alien locust attack we just stopped rather brilliantly" {Y/N} mutters, pushing herself further into the TARDIS door, suddenly a clown horn sounds, making Nefertiti jump and {Y/N} escape from her embrace. It is the psychic paper "oh dear, sorry. I've got it set to Temporal News...That's interesting."
"What is?"
"Nothing. Not interesting. Not at all. Ooo, never been there. Exciting! Bye-bye!"
*Indian Space Agency 2367 A.D.*
"Craft size approximately ten million square kilometres."
"A ship the size of Canada coming at Earth very fast. Any signs of life?" the Doctor asks.
"We sent up a drone craft. It took these readings." the incoming spaceship is a central mass with lots of big pods extending out of it.
"Crikey, Charlie! Look at that. Ooo, we know someone who'd love to have a look at that. And the Ponds. Mustn't forget the Ponds, Neffi. Haven't seen them in ages. I'm riffing. People usually stop me when we're riffing or carry on without us. That's also an option" {Y/N} says.
"Can you communicate with this craft?"
"She's with us. Good question, Neffi" the Doctor says.
"No. No response on any channel, in any recognised language. If it comes within ten thousand kilometres of Earth, we send up missiles."
"Oh, we liked you before you said missiles. How long till the ship gets that close?" {Y/N} asks.
"Six hours nineteen minutes."
"Right. Better get a shift on, then. Leave it with us. Come on, {Y/N}, Neffi. We're going to need help" the Doctor says.
*African Plains 1902 A.D.*
By a tent, at night.
"More stew?" the Doctor asks.
"Where've you been, you two? Seven months. You said you were popping out for some liquorice. I had two very disappointed dancers on my hands. Not that I couldn't manage" the man chuckles.
"Riddell, listen. We've found, well, something" {Y/N} says.
"No, no, no, no, no. I shan't fall for that again. What is it?"
"We've no idea. Do you want to find out?" the Doctor asks.
*Amy and Rory's home*
An older man is up a stepladder being held by Rory and Amy, seeing to a ceiling light fitting.
"I think it's the fitting."
"Dad, it's not the fitting. It just needs a new bulb" Rory replies.
"You're wobbling the ladder."
"I'm not."
"I don't want another loft incident."
"How's my side, Brian?" Amy asks.
"Perfect, as ever, Amy."
"Thank you, Brian."
"I don't know what he said to you to make you marry him, but he's a lucky man" Brian responds, the sound of an arriving TARDIS, and papers start blowing.
"Not here, not now" Rory whispers.
"You leave the back door open?" Brian asks.
"What are they doing?"
"I'm going to kill them" the TARDIS materialises around them.
"Hello! You weren't busy, were you? Well, even if you were, it wasn't as interesting as this probably is. Didn't want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop" the Doctor says, the TARDIS zooms to the impossibly large spaceship. Brian is still standing on the stepladder.
"Everybody grab a torch" {Y/N} says, Brian drops the light bulb, they all walk out into a dark and dusty room with cobwebs. No obvious indication of usage, the whole place is just big open-plan.
"Spiders. Don't normally get spiders in space" the Doctor says, Brian is last out of the TARDIS.
"What the...?"
"Don't move! Do you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice? How did you get aboard, eh? Transmat? Who sent you?" the Doctor asks walking up to Brian.
"Doctor. That's my dad" Rory says.
"Well frankly, that's outrageous."
"What?"
"You think you can just bring your dad along without asking? We're not a taxi service, you know."
"You materialised around us."
"Oh. Well, that's fine, then. Our mistake. Hello, Brian. How are you? Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome. This is the gang. We've got a gang. Yes. Come on then, everyone" the Doctor says.
"Tell him something, quick" Amy says before running after {Y/N} and the Doctor.
"Yes, thank you!"
"I'm not entirely sure what's going on," Brian says.
"You know when Amy and I first got married and we went travelling..."
"To Thailand."
"More the entirety of space and time. In that police box," something shakes the spaceship.
"All right, where are we? What is that noise and hello, ten months?" Amy asks.
"Well, we sense it's orbiting. More like pre-crashing. On a spaceship, don't know, and hello, Pond. Ten months. Time flies. Never really understood that phrase. This is Neffi, this is Riddell. They're with us" {Y/N} says.
"With you? They're with you? Are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you?"
"No. They're just people. They're not Ponds. We thought we might need a new gang. Not really had a gang before. It's new" the Doctor says, at the far end of this hold is a big bulkhead door. Red lights come on either side of it.
"It's coming down. What is it?"
"No idea" it is a cargo lift, and it arrives with a thump. The doors open to reveal two large armoured creatures backlight by a very bright light.
"Not possible."
"Run!" {Y/N} says, the gang run away, except the Doctor and {Y/N}.
"Doctor! {Y/N}!" Amy shouts.
"We know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!" the Doctor shouts, Amy grabs them and pulls them away from the ankylosaurs.
---
"In here!" they hide in a sort of alcove. The dinosaurs stop nearby. Riddell gets out a knife.
"I could take one of them. Short blow up into the throat."
"Or not. We've just found dinosaurs in space. We need to preserve them" {Y/N} says.
"Who's going to preserve us?"
"Shush" Amy says the ankylosaurs move on.
"Ok, so, how and whose ship?" Rory asks.
"Well, there's so much to discover. Think how wise we'll be by the end of all this" the Doctor says.
"Sorry, sorry. Are you saying dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?" Brian asks.
"Brian, please, that would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did we mention missiles?" {Y/N} asks.
"Missiles?"
"Didn't want to worry you. Anyway, six hours is a lifetime. Not literally a lifetime. That's what we're trying to avoid. And we're all really clever. Ooo, let's see what we can find out. Come on" the Doctor says, the Doctor removes a cobweb from a blank monitor "ugh" he wipes his hand on Brian's jacket. Amy examines gouges in the walls.
"How many dinosaurs do you think are on here?" Amy asks, {Y/N} sonics the monitor to life, Brian, Rory and the Doctor stand around her.
"Oh, well done, whoever you are. Looking for engines. Thank you, computer. Look at that. Different sections have engines, but these look like the primary clusters. Where are we now, computer? We need to get down to these engines" {Y/N} says, the four are teleported away.
"What happened?" Nefertiti asks.
"Oh, great" Amy replies, the four are teleported to a beach in cold weather with a fair old wind blowing.
"Find out... what?" {Y/N} asks looking around.
"We're outside. We're on a beach" Brian says.
"Teleports... Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice" {Y/N} mutters.
"Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C Clarke. Teleport, obviously. I mean, we're on a spaceship with dinosaurs. Why wouldn't there be a teleport? In fact, why don't we just teleport now?" Brain asks looking at {Y/N} who puffs out her cheeks.
"Is he, all right?" the Doctor asks.
"No, he hates travelling. Makes him really anxious. He only goes to the paper shop and golf" Rory replies.
"What did you bring him for?"
"I didn't! Why can't you two just phone ahead like any normal person?"
"Somebody tell me where we are, now" the Doctor sticks his tongue out.
"Well, it's not Earth. Doesn't taste right. Too metallic" the Doctor says.
"Is that a kestrel?" Brian asks.
"I do hope so" the Doctor replies.
"The beach is humming," Rory says.
"Is it? Oh yes. Right, well, don't just stand there, you two. Dig. We're going to look at rocks. Love a rock" the Doctor says, dragging {Y/N} away.
"Dig with what?" Rory asks.
"Ah, well" Brian produces a trowel and starts digging in the sand.
"Did you just have that on you?"
"Of course. What sort of man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list."
"Dad, I'm thirty-one. I don't have a Christmas list anymore."
"I do!" the Doctor shouts, {Y/N} rolls her eyes while Rory gives the Doctor a thumbs up, Brian reaches metal.
"There's a floor under this beach," Brian says.
---
~Bread 🍞