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**
By the time I woke up the next morning, Ronnie was back.
Just the sound of the front door opening and shutting was enough to make me pull the covers over my head and bury my face into the pillow. I’d managed to sleep for about half an hour, but the fear of being in some stranger’s house in a dodgy neighbourhood and the idea of Ronnie coming back kept me awake.
And I just sat there and cried for ages.
I continued to pretend I was asleep as I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. I wasn’t sure of the time as my phone had died and there wasn’t a clock in the room, but light was pouring through the window and the sun was pretty high in the sky. It must’ve been at least mid-day.
The footsteps stopped outside the door and I froze, keeping my eyes tightly shut. There was a pause, before the door suddenly creaked open and he walked fully into the room. I felt him stop right next to me, and his hand suddenly landed on my back, making my body stiffen even more.
“Midge?” He whispered softly, beginning to gently shake me.
Of course, I stayed completely still, trying to convince him that I was in too much of a deep sleep to hear him. He was persistent, though.
“Hey, Midge.” He continued, kneeling down and taking the covers away from my face. I felt his hand reach out and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, which only made me confused. “Midge, wake up.”
Feeling defeated, I sucked in a deep breath and opened my eyes, jumping slightly at the close proximity between us. He chuckled at that, staring at me with the kindest expression I’d ever seen him maintain.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” He greeted me, his voice still lowered. “How are you today?”
I felt a frown fall onto my face. Was I dreaming? What the hell had happened to the Ronnie I was with last night?
Not being able to reply due to the fact that I was so surprised at how nice he was being, I edged away slightly and sat up, raking a hand through my hair and pulling it back.
“Hey, let me look at your face for a second.” He said, reaching a hand out and gently placing a finger under my chin, turning my face to the side. “Man, that’s a nasty mark you got on your cheek. Did you get into a fight at the party last night or something?”
I blinked. Surely he wasn’t serious? He was actually acting like he’d not given me the mark?
“Do you remember who it was?” He continued to question me. “Because if I find out, I’ll...”
His words cut off when I turned away from him. I couldn’t believe like he was actually acting as if he’d not hit me—twice. As if he’d not tried to rape me.
He said nothing for a moment, watching me as I shifted in the bed and ran a hand through my hair again. Eventually, he sighed.
“Well, anyway. The car’s parked outside, ready to be driven back to Huntington whenever you want.” He said.
“Can we go now?” I spoke up for the first time that morning. “Please?”
He nodded. “Sure.”
That was enough to make me silently climb out of the bed and pull my shoes on. I grabbed my jacket, pulling it around me and zipping it up, before grabbing my phone out of the pocket. I knew there was no point trying to turn it on, due to the fact that the battery had died hours ago, but I still tried. I was dreading the amounts of texts and missed calls I’d have.
I stayed silent as we climbed in the car and started the journey back to Huntington. There was a fear there that was making me scared to open my mouth, but I was also pissed off beyond belief. He was actually trying to make out that someone else had hit me. It was pathetic.
He kept giving me glances out of the corner of his eye which I refused to return. When I laid my head back and he realised I had no intention of talking to him, he sighed and reached forward to turn on the radio.
It was just a muffle in the background compared to my thoughts. Despite how tired I was from having hardly any sleep, there was no way I’d be able to take a quick nap now. I silently watched our surroundings pass me outside of the window, hoping I’d get home soon. It seemed crazy, seeing as I knew I was going to get yelled at as soon as I stepped through the door. But I’d much rather being at home safe and being yelled at, than being in a car with a guy who tried to rape me and hit me twice when he didn’t succeed.
It was only a thirty minute journey, but it seemed so much longer. Relief washed through me when I snapped out of my thoughts to focus on where we were and everything looked so familiar. Driving past the beach meant we were only five or so minutes away from my house, and the minute Ronnie pulled into my street, I breathed out in complete relief that I’d managed to get home without anything happening to me. I desperately wanted to see my dad.
I didn’t say a goodbye to Ronnie as I stepped out of the car. Whether he was expecting a thank you or something, I didn’t know. But he sure as hell wasn’t getting one.
Without sparing him another glance, I slammed the car door and began walking up the driveway, glancing through the living room window to see my dad staring out. As soon as his eyes landed on me, he moved away from the window, and only a moment later, the front door was ripped open.
At first, he just stood in the doorway, staring down at me. He looked absolutely terrible—exhausted, like he’d not slept at all. After a moment, he breathed out and reached forward, pulling me into him and holding me tightly against him. I immediately wrapped my arms around him, hugging him just as tightly. Tears were beginning to appear in my eyes, and he suddenly ripped away from me, his relieved expression turning to one of pure anger.
“What the fuck were you thinking, Jasmine?” He yelled furiously. “What possessed you to do that, huh? To run off for the night without telling me?”
“Dad, please don’t start.” I answered back, my voice cracking. “Please.”
Ignoring me, he stepped to the side, holding the door wide open. “Get inside now.”
I did as I was told and stepped into the house, dragging my feet past him and into the living room. He slammed the door shut, then following after me and beginning to pace the floor.
All I could do was stare down at my feet. I knew there was no point saying anything. I had no excuse for what I’d done. It was stupid and I definitely knew that now. But now was too late.
I jumped slightly when he slammed his fist down on the coffee table, turning to face me.
“Do you even realise how worried sick I have been?!” He shouted. “I have been awake all night trying to get hold of you...and nothing? Where did you even go?”
“Dad—‘’
“Where did you go, Jasmine?” He interrupted me.
I sighed. “Long Beach.”
He stared at me for a long moment, confusion written all over his face. I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain this to him, but however I did, I knew I was in deep shit.
“What’s in Long Beach?” He asked with a shrug. “Who do you know in Long Beach?”
“There was a party...” I murmured back at him. “And I don’t know anyone...they were Ronnie’s friends.”
“Ronnie?” He spat. “So Ronnie Radke pops up and gets you into shit again? You went to Long Beach with a twenty-seven year old for the night, without telling me or even returning my texts or calls?!”
“Dad...” I ran a hand through my hair, sighing again. “I know it was stupid, okay? I realise that, and I wish I hadn’t done it. I’m sorry. My phone died not long after I got there and I was drunk and—‘’
“Oh, great.” He interrupted again. “Are you forgetting that you’re only eighteen? You drink way too much...get into trouble all the time...hang around with a twenty-seven year old doing God knows what and...well, you’ve obviously been fighting.” He took a step towards me. “How the fuck did you get that mark?”
I turned my face away immediately. “Just leave it.”
“Why? Are you too hungover?”
He kept on like that for ages, and I just stood there and took it. It seemed like instead of telling me what I did was wrong, he’d decided to point out all my flaws and draw attention to the mark on my cheek. It was easy to let his words fly past me without paying too much attention to him. But it was one sentence that made me truly snap.
“I am so disappointed in you.” He told me, shaking his head.
I stared at him, tears appearing in my eyes again. This time, they immediately spilled over and rolled down my cheeks.
“I get it dad, okay?!” I practically screamed at him. “I get that I’m a disappointment and that I keep fucking up, but when do I get to have fun, huh?”
“You can fun without—‘’
“When do I finally get to make up for the seventeen years I spent resenting people and being truly alone?” This time, I interrupted him. “I finally belong somewhere, dad. Finally.”
“What and that means you can act up constantly? You say you finally belong somewhere, and yet you’re screwing that up! Do you realise that it wasn’t just me you kept up all night? The whole family was up waiting for a call of some sort. I thought you might contact Zacky...I know you’re close to him. But, no. You didn’t. And he went out at all hours of the morning, driving around and looking for you because he was so damn worried!”
I stopped for a moment, blinking up at him. Zacky had done that? I’d not expected that.
“I’m sorry.” I weakly sobbed, shakily wiping at my eyes. “I can’t say anything else but that. I don’t have an excuse for what I’ve done...I know it was stupid.”
“Damn straight it was fucking stupid.” He snapped, scowling.
Sobbing harder, I shrugged my jacket off, throwing it down angrily. “Okay! Just fucking quit it already! You don’t need to tell me that over and over again!”
“You think sorry is going to fucking cut it?” He took a step towards me, at which I took a step back. “I’m not done talking about this. I’m gonna go get a shower and sleep because I feel like shit from waiting up all night for you to get your ass home. When I wake up, we’re gonna talk about this. Properly. Rules need to be set because your behaviour is getting out of hand.”
Without saying another word, he angrily shoved past me and stormed out of the room and up the stairs. I stood there, blinking into space and chewing at my lip as tears continued to fall from my eyes.
It was just going to be tense around the house for the entire day. I hated my dad being mad at me, and especially when he was disappointed in me. It killed me.
I decided I wasn’t going to take it. I wasn’t going to subject myself to the tension or the anger. I wanted to go out on my own and give myself time to calm down, as well as my dad. Maybe when I got back, we’d be able to talk about things in a calmer way.
Sniffling and wiping at my eyes again, I went into the kitchen, going straight to the cupboard where my dad kept his alcohol. I didn’t care anymore. The pain of knowing he was disappointed in me was too much.
I immediately grabbed the bottle of Jägermeister and glanced at the clock, coming to the realisation that it had already passed one PM. It meant many people would be down at the beach where I was planning to go, but I didn’t care. I’d find somewhere quiet and drown my sorrows on my own.
And not caring if my dad could hear me or not, I stormed back to the front door and left the house, immediately beginning to make my way to the beach.
In hope that I could take my mind off of everything.