"Good afternoon, Val" {Y/N} says.
"Hello."
"Where am I investigating?" Craig asks.
"Well, look round. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why we usually take a human with us" {Y/N} says.
"So, I'm your baby?" {Y/N} chuckles.
"You're my baby" {Y/N} hugs Craig. Val smiles indulgently.
"Hope you don't mind me saying, {Y/N}, but I think you look ever so sweet, you and your partner and the baby."
"Partner? Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?" {Y/N} asks.
"Companion sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy these days."
"You've not noticed anything unusual around here lately, Val?" the Doctor asks.
"Well..."
"Yes, yes?"
"Mary Warnock saw Don Petheridge snogging Andrea Groom outside the Conservative Club on his so-called day off golfing."
"Yeah. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all" {Y/N} says as the Doctor air-kisses Val and moves away along with {Y/N}.
"And then there's that silver rat thing."
"What?" a while later, the Doctor is underneath a table, scanning.
"A silver rat, glowing red eyes" {Y/N} says.
"Yes. Then it zizzed off. I wanted to get one for my nephew, but stockroom says there's no such item."
"I bet they do."
"Well, what was it then? Answer me that.
"Whoa!"
"What's all that hullabaloo?"
"Er, that'll be my partner with the er...' {Y/N} trails off.
"Ah" Craig has knocked over a rack of fillies'
"Make a habit of hanging round in women's wear, sir?"
"I'm sorry. Oh, shush. Alfie, come on."
"He's a pervert. Look at him."
"Hello, everyone. Here to help" the Doctor says.
"Hello, Doctor. Hello, {Y/N}."
"Hello, Doctor. Hello, {Y/N}."
"Hello. Has anyone seen a silver rat? No. Ok. Long shot. I see you've met our friend, Craig. Nice uniform, George" {Y/N} says.
"Thank you, {Y/N}. If he's with you two, that's all right, then" George says.
"Sorry. I thought he was hassling me, because that's the last thing I need today because Shona's not turned up, right, so I'm doing twice the work for the same money, if you don't mind" the woman says.
"Shush" {Y/N} says, the woman shuts up.
"Please teach me how to do that," Craig says.
"No. Hold on. Un-shush. Shona?"
"My supervisor. She's meant to be in today but never showed up."
"Well, where did you last see her?"
*Time skip*
"How do you do that? It's a power, isn't it. Some sort of weird alien hypnotic power. I bet you both excrete some sort of gas that makes people love you" Craig says.
"Would that we could, Craig" {Y/N} says, the Doctor looks through a curtain and a woman screams.
"Er, sorry, Madam. I'd try that in red if I were you" the Doctor says.
"I'm right though, aren't I?"
"Well, you love us, we've never excreted any weird alien gases at you" {Y/N} says.
"I don't love you. Don't start that again" Alfie gurgles.
"Yes, I know. Course he does. Of course, you do. We're partners" {Y/N} says.
"Yeah, but I did exactly what you would have done, and I nearly got arrested."
"Stormy thinks you should believe in yourself more," the Doctor says.
"Great. So now my baby's reviewing me."
"Here. Right here. Last night. A Cyberman took Shona" the Doctor says.
"A Cyberman? I thought it was a little silver rat."
"It's not a rat. It's a Cybermat" {Y/N} says.
"All right. Don't have a go at me just because I don't know the names."
*Time skip*
"Cybermats are infiltrators. Very small, very deadly. They collect power like bees collect pollen. One of them have been sucking the electrical energy from this area. But why a shop? You know, why not a nuclear power station?" {Y/N} asks.
"Ok, why?" Craig asks.
"Let's ask it. We wait for the shop to shut. We stake the place out and grab ourselves a Cybermat" the Doctor says.
"And this is just a coincidence, is it?" Craig asks.
"What is?"
"Aliens in Colchester. Aliens twice in my life, happening to me, just when you two turn up."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not our fault, Craig" {Y/N} says.
"Oh, shush. Look what you've done now."
"It's his nappy. He's mentioned it twice" {Y/N} replies.
"Well sorry, I don't speak baby, do I."
"There's a changing station over by Electrical Goods' the Doctor says.
"And of course, you'd know that. Come on, Alfie."
"Craig! It's a coincidence. It happens. It's what the universe does for..." {Y/N} trails off as she sees Amy and Rory walking towards her and the Doctor when a little girl stops them.
"Can I have your autograph, please?" the little girl asks looking up at Amy.
"Er, yeah. Sure."
"...Fun" {Y/N} finishes.
"What's your name?"
"Allie."
"To Allie. I like your hairband."
"Thank you" {Y/N} and the Doctor back away.
"All right," Rory says.
"There you go," Amy says.
"Thank you" Amy and Rory leave. Allie points towards the Doctor and {Y/N}. They turn to see a big perfume advert on the wall nearby with Amy's face on it. Petrichor. For The Girl Who's Tired Of Waiting.
"Amelia Pond" the Doctor mutters.
*Time skip*
{Y/N}, the Doctor, Craig, and Alfie hide amongst the perfume and makeup counters as George makes his rounds. When it is clear, the Doctor starts scanning with his sonic screwdriver.
"Right, let's be having you then, Cybermat," the Doctor says, Alfie cries.
"Can't you put that on quiet?" Craig asks.
"No. It's a sonic screwdriver. Sonic equals sound. Take this. I got it on my discount, ten percent off. It's a papoose" {Y/N} says.
"Why do I need a papoose?"
"Alfie wants you attached to him. You are far too slow when he summons you" {Y/N} says.
"When's he going to stop giving me marks?"
"Never! It's parenthood. Couldn't you have just got a babysitter?" the Doctor asks, Alfie coos "no, any babysitter. Doesn't have to be a hot one."
"I told everyone I know I didn't need their help this weekend."
"Well."
"They won't even answer my calls. I didn't know there was going to be an invasion of Cyberman."
"Shush."
*Time skip*
"Shh, shh, shh. It's ok" {Y/N} says, {Y/N} and Craig get Alfie out of the buggy to go into the papoose when the Cybermat shows itself. The Doctor snares it in a butterfly net.
"Ah ha!" the Doctor quickly covers his mouth before talking in a hushed tone "that's very odd. It must be on low power. Or I'm better at that than I remember" the Doctor picks up the Cybermat.
"Oh, is that it?" Craig asks.
"Yeah" {Y/N} says.
"Oh, that's quite cute. Look at that. Look, Alfie, look" the Cybermat bares its teeth "Argh!" {Y/N} sonics it into submission "metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real mouth."
"Yes, we know it is."
"Metal rat, real mouth."
"Stop screaming. Stop, stop screaming. Shush" {Y/N} says, George screams.
"Come on!"
---
~Bread 🍞