April's POV
Rain, rain, rain.
It's relentless.
And we're in the midst of summer.
Sleep, eat, talk, rain, sleep, eat, talk, rain. It was an endless cycle that made me feel like I was living in a vapid, unchanging Universe; one where an amorous haze is constantly settled on the horizon, one where there's always sight of a grey cloud, one where a spontaneous burst of light will erupt from the clouds and then disappear in a haze. It's beginning to hurt my head looking out of the window and seeing the same thing all the time.
And never sight of anything else.
He hasn't even called or texted or hinted that he was okay – not for a week now. It may not seem like long, but, often, time has the pervasive nature of elongating itself until hope feels like light years away - like there's no destination for you anywhere.
And I know it's my fault he left, I know that so I don't express it out loud. Why express it in the open? Why do that when you know that the person on the receiving end will give you sympathy and nothing else – it's frustrating and infuriating and inexcusable.
Why did I hold that brainless intervention? Why did I keep trying out techniques I didn't even understand to help him that totally backfired? Why did I let him go? Why didn't I kiss him? Why did I fail him?
Rain, rain, rain.
It was freaking endless.
Nina's POV
April hasn't spoken to me since Aiden left. Maybe she needs space? Time? She's never been heart-broken before; she's never been with anyone but Aiden. He was the first boy she ever conversed with properly and connected with – he allowed her to blossom and grow and laugh openly with other people - to stop caring what other people thought.
But he broke her heart and I don't know what to say.
It's raining outside. It's been raining ceaselessly on this damned beach. It's been pouring it down like someone cracked the heavens open and allowed torrents of our life source to fall in sheets. I can't let April feel like this – what can I do? What can I say without her pushing me away?
Rain marauds my thoughts like a thief in the night and I feel my thoughts slip away from my between my fingers; I can't think straight with all of this grey-rain. All of these darkened moods in this beach house. I just can't think straight.
Rain. Geez, it just doesn't shut up does it?
Daniel's POV
I sit in the kitchen eating in silence, rain pounding against the window venomously – I contemplate opening the doors just to shut up the wailing noise it makes as though it wishes to enter the kitchen.
Ever since Aiden left, everything has been totally depressing. April usually laughs at my jokes, no matter how lame, but she doesn't even do that anymore. Aiden really cut her up when he left. This week has turned into the week of hell – I can't wait to leave this damn beach house. The rain doesn't help either; when you go the beach, you'd expect sunshine and a good surf, tanning, cute girls etc... But there's not even that.
That rain better stop – it's wrecking this week.
Diego's POV
Nina thinks I've gone out to the shops to buy some food for dinner. But I'm just sitting in my car, shielded from the rain – we went to a beach party when the weather was still good a couple of days ago to cheer up April, but I couldn't bring myself to have any fun.
We pretended, sure. But it wasn't real. Our smiles and laughter were more for the benefit of those hurting, not for ourselves. I mean, the boy that I've been best friends with since childhood has gone off the rails – again. I don't know how to help him – I never did.
I had every opportunity to try and help him – my whole life. And I couldn't do anything. If a best friend's role is to stand by their friend, what the hell am I? He informed me about his situation yesterday, told me that he was fine, that he was with Kaden; he also told me to not tell April. To keep her mind off things, maybe tell her he was fine, but that's all.
I shake my head, brushing away the cobwebbed thoughts.
Then, I prepare myself for going out into the rain.
Aiden's POV
Shaking, sweating, no sleep, rain, shaking, sweating, no sleep, rain.
My fingers are trembling and my vision is going blurry; I've been cooped up inside a small, rented house somewhere with Kaden. He was the first one I went to – had to go to – he promised he wouldn't disclose my location to anyone. He would help me and keep my urges under control.
I may be a werewolf; I may have said that werewolves' tolerance to alcohol was higher than humans, but I'd been abusing it for so long, that it had become a part of my blood. I was only a werewolf – that didn't make me invincible to common traps.
I look outside shakily; it's raining. Torrents and torrents of grey rain – my eyes trace the trail of a raindrop. I follow it all the way down until I reach the raindrop, still making its rhythmic way down the window, but then, it crashes to the ground and disappears once it has reached the end of its journey. It feels like an explosion in my mind. I gasp and fall back onto the pillow, my palms damp. I can't sleep. I can't even eat without puking up my last meal.
It was never this bad the last time I tried to quit; maybe it's harder because this time it's for real. My head pounds too – I don't remember my head ever feeling like someone has been hitting it with a jack hammer, not even when I've been hung over. Kaden keeps me under control – there's not a bottle of alcohol for miles. We're isolated.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the semi-darkness of the window; I look like a mess – April shouldn't have had to deal with the consequence of my actions and see me like this. Rain trails over my face and disintegrates the image – what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have left her like that, but if I didn't, she would have never let me go.
And that would have been even harder to break away from.
I hate myself for breaking her heart.
But thank god for the rain. Because it blurs my reflection and distorts how I see myself, so that I don't see how truly eroded I am. It makes me believe I can still be revived.
Shaking, sweating, no sleep, rain, shaking, sweating, no sleep, rain.
1 week later
April's POV
My fingers shook around the steaming cup of coffee. I glanced at the clock on the wall again and let out a sigh of irritation. When would they arrive? A few excruciatingly long minutes after, a chime rang through the small cafe and my head shot up at the arrival outlined in the doorway.
The shadow stepped forward and I felt a small, sharp pang hit me in the gut. Kaden stepped forward from the doorway, his broad shoulders outlined against the evening dark.
"Kaden." I breathed, glancing behind him to see if there was another shadowy figure hiding there. He stepped forward and waved the waitress down who had stood to.
"Hi April," he swooped down gracefully onto the seat. I ambled for a moment, still standing, momentarily fazed by his attitude. Then, I sat down quickly and pushed my coffee aside.
"Is Aiden okay? Where is he?" I stared at him expectantly.
Kaden smiled tightly. "He thought you'd ask that exact question the moment you saw me, and told me to reply and I quote: "I'm fine. Withdrawal is all rainbows and sunshine, you know?"'
I pressed my lips together to stop myself from smiling in relief. "So he's okay. I mean, he has to be, if he can still crack jokes like that."
Kaden leaned his elbows on the table. "You can stop staring behind my head, April. He's not here." My heart dropped and I looked away, embarrassed.
"So, where is he? Where are you guys staying? It must be close, right?"
"Too many questions.' He raised his hands in the air as though they were shields.
I paused, unsmiling. "Where are you guys staying?"
"I can't tell you. I'm sorry."
I leaned forward angrily. "Kaden, you know how worried I've been and you're still adamant on not telling me anything? Whether or not Aiden wants to stay un-found, I still deserve some answers. I mean, you've only just decided to contact me after bloody two weeks!"
"Look, Aiden promised me not to say anything. I respect my promises." I pressed my lips together as he shifted backwards, staring at me apprehensively. "And Aiden's symptoms were pretty bad these past weeks; it was essential to keep him isolated so we could control them. He wasn't in the right state to make decisions or talk to anyone. Least of all you."
I recoiled. "What do you mean 'least of all you? I deserve to be there for him Kaden, I want to be by his side, helping him through this. He was there for me all those 6 months and he's damn well denying me the right to care for him in the same way. It's not fair!" My eyes pricked.
Kaden reached over, squeezing my hand. I pulled away, angry, blinking back angry tears. He leaned forward, gently squeezing my shoulders, silently calming me down. "April, he's a mess. He's - unpredictable. Withdrawal is taking him on a roller coaster of emotions and we can't risk you being in the crossfire, okay? Aiden needs to combat this alone - without a support system. Because his body is his own, his mind is his own and we," he pointed between us, "can't control that. We.... just need to respect that."
I removed my slammed hands from the table and withdrew them back to my side. "Sorry." I reclined back slowly. My eyes flickered up to the waitress, quite obviously staring down at a magazine, but not really reading it. She was unfazed by the commotion at our table.
"Kaden. I know you didn't just call me here for casual chit chat. You wouldn't have. Just," I swallowed, "tell me what you came here to."
His lips puckered up tightly and he half stood up, pulling something out from his back pocket. A piece of paper, slightly crinkled. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down uneasily as he handed it to me.
"What's this?"
" - Read it," he glanced away from me, avoiding my eyes.
I hesitated, before reaching out for the crinkled paper and unfolding it. The ink was in an Amazon blue and it was smudged slightly, as though it was fresh. There were also several scribbles littering the sheet until it wore thin. But I recognized the familiar high tailed italics at first glance.
I began reading, my heart beating loudly in my chest; it was as though all other sound like the whistling of the coffee pot, the sound of Kaden's lighter flickering up a small ball of fire, had been muted. I began reading, my chest loosening as though his voice was narrating the letter to me personally.
April,
I'm sorry I sent Kaden to do this. It's not fair that we need to communicate like this, but if I meet you... I wouldn't want you to see me like I am. I want you to see me when I can walk on my own two feet.
I can't come back yet. I don't want to keep your hopes up. What if I can't stop? I can't keep making you believe in a ticking time bomb; it's only been two weeks but it feels like years where I am. If I can't stare my own reflection without feeling like crap, I don't know what I'd be like with you.
I'm not good at writing letter, so excuse the grammar mistakes I've probably made and you'll most definitely notice. (Sorry, just thought that'd make you smile.)
Anyway, back to the point. Please stop waiting up for me to turn up at your door step, or for a phone call or a text. I don't want you waiting for me. Just – carry on with summer and I'll be back. I mean, don't go and get a new boyfriend cos' I'll kick his ass when I'm back – but, just forget about me.
We're mates and we always will be. But I can't put you in a position where you're either worried about me, drunk out of my mind, or being scared of me losing control of my own body during withdrawal. It's not fair to you. You deserve more than me and more than anything you've been through.
You've been to your own hell (or heaven, I guess,) but I'm still at mine – because I deserve it a hell of a lot more than you ever did. I can't see you, but I wish I could so I could do this in person. I think we need to break up – take a break.
I'm sorry, April. I really am. But I'm doing this for you – I want to fix up for you, for my friends, for my family, for my mother.
I promise I'll try and come back. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you – but please, for the sake of yourself, move on for the summer. I'll try and come back to you and I won't stop until I can.
But I'm sorry for this.
- Aiden
A.N. NON-EDITED! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy :) FIFA WORLD CUP BEGINS IN 5 DAYS *whoop whoop*