"You want me to do what," Clarke exclaimed in horror.
We sat in my room, Bellamy and I along with Clarke, who clearly was horrified about everything I had just told her.
"You owe us this," I said softly.
"Xavier," Clarke panicked, "I cant do that. You know I cant. We've already allied with Lexa."
I growled in frustration, "Listen to yourself, Clarke! Lexa is using you. Like how she used you at Mount Weather,"
"Let it go," Clarke barked in frustration and stood up firmly with her fists clenched tight.
"Clarke," Bellamy stood up to calm her down, but I pulled him back to his seat and got up to meet her annoyed gaze.
"I can't let it go, Clarke," I spoke calmly, trying to assure her that I was no longer mad, though annoyed, at her about the incident that took place in Mount Weather. I wanted to let her know that her alliance with Lexa was another attempt at Lexa trying to exhaust our resources. "She gave us her word, and she betrayed us. Think about it," I took a step towards her, "If Lexa feels like it, she will turn on you again."
Clarke clenched her jaw, and I could tell she was gritting her teeth. She was annoyed, all right. But there was something in her eyes that spoke anything but anger.
Perhaps, desperation.
And all at once, it dawned on me.
She had that same look when she pulled that lever in Mount Weather: the look of desperation to save her people.
"What has she got on you?" I asked her, and at once, Clarke tensed.
"What do you mean," she stammered.
"Lexa," I said, "What has she got on you? You don't fear her, no," I continued talking as I watched her expression turn from confusion, to a quick realization that I was getting close to what she was thinking, "You've never feared anyone. You've always been a fierce leader; I'll give you that. But you don't fear Lexa. But she has a hold of you, doesn't she? No matter what she does, you're willing to stand by her side,"
Bellamy watched us, more Clarke, in anticipation of what she might respond with. He stood up as well when he realized that there might be some truth as to what I was saying.
"Clarke," he called out to her softly and she averted her gaze towards him, "What did Lexa do to you?"
Finally, she gave in. Closing her eyes, she sat back down in her seat and buried her face into her hands. Bellamy and I exchanged glances, intrigued and confused at the same time. I knelt in front of her, careful not to make any physical contact with her, trying not to give her the 100% confidence that I was coming back to Arkadia, and watched her attempt to recover from whatever emotional exhaustion she was suffering from.
Clarke finally raised her gaze at me, dropping her hands onto her lap, and said softly, "Lexa and I are lovers,"
---
I stood by the window, watching the people down below living their life. The snow was starting to melt with the sun shining warmly. Clarke's frail voice kept repeating the words over and over again, and with every second that passed by, I felt the urge to vomit. The thought of Clarke falling in love with a monster like Lexa was baffling. But despite her monstrous ways, according to Clarke, Lexa was just an innocent girl given the responsibilities of commanding all the clans at a young age.
"Xavier," Bellamy's voice got me back to reality, and I glanced over my shoulder at him. He stood behind me, looking at me with a concerned gaze, and once again I was forced to turn my gaze away from him and back to the life outside the window.
"She's not going to do it," he said softly, trying to make sure Clarke, who sat on the other side of the room, did not hear us, "And we can't make her do it. It'll destroy her."
I clenched my jaw.
Four months ago, I would have caved to sentiment. I would have caved to reason, and emotion, and everything that would have made me feel human.
I would have caved to pain.
But lacking empathy, and feeling the need to survive the worst to come, I turned towards Bellamy, and said, "She'll get over it."
Bellamy stood stunned. He was not expecting me to say it.
Tough luck, Bell, I thought as I watched him figure out the person that I had become. You're part of the reason why I had become this person.
I turned towards Clarke and began to walk towards her; "You will send a messenger to Polis, Clarke."
She glanced up at me.
"You will write to Lexa," I said demandingly, "You will tell her that Arkadia, and the Skaikru, will not be part of the war between Trikru and Azgeda. You will tell her that Kane will keep his seat in the council, representing the people of Arkadia, and that you will heed to every other demand made by her. But you will NOT be part of this war."
"Xavier," Bellamy called out to me.
"If you don't," I said as I stood in front of her a panicked Clarke, "I will feel the need to tell Queen Nia that you are Lexa's lover, and mind you, she was not very hospitable towards the last one."
Clarke stared at me horrified. She was not sure what horrified her the most though. Was it the words I had spoken, or was it the person I had become? Needless to say, neither bothered me.
I needed to get out of this mess Roan had created for me. I needed to make sure he did not rip my head off my shoulders for failing to make him King of Azgeda.
I needed to get rid of Lexa for good.
---
I was on my way to the throne room. The sound of our footsteps echoed through the hallway as the guards escorted me to my destination. I no longer walked like a prisoner. With my chin up high, and my shoulders back, I walked with a purpose.
Queen Nia summoned me to the throne room a few days after I confronted Clarke to pull Skaikru out of the war. She had done as she was demanded to, and with a heavy heart she wrote a personal letter to her beloved. Kane argued and demanded to know the reason why she did as she did, but for the sake of my plan, she remained quiet.
As the doors opened to reveal the queen sitting on her throne, I entered the room and realized that I was not alone. Ontari, as always, stood beside her queen, Roan, being the re-proclaimed Prince of Azgeda stood on the other side of his mother, and Clarke and Kane stood waiting for me to join them.
I knew this meeting would take place.
"Xavier," Queen Nia addressed me as the guards left, closing the door behind them, "It is very nice of you to finally join us."
"My Queen," I curtsied, glanced at Roan and saw him looking slightly confused, and then returned my gaze back to her, "I apologize for the delay. I was feeling unwell."
Yes, because I'm supposedly carrying your grandchild.
"Has it been a bothersome?" she asked.
"I have been feeling sick, yes," I lied, "and I have not been able to eat anything."
"I shall fetch a healer for you," she smiled courteously, to which I noticed Roan looking ever more confused.
"Later in the day, perhaps," I smiled back, "But you, summoned me," my voice trailed off and let my eyes do the rest of the talking as I glanced at Clarke and Kane.
"Yes," Queen Nia stood up from her throne, "Your guests from Arkadia had decided to overstay their welcome,"
"I wasn't aware, my Queen," I lied as I watched Clarke, "I was told they had left Azgeda a couple of days ago."
I saw Clarke lower her gaze uncomfortably.
Don't you dare start getting a conscious now, Griffin...
"Well," Queen Nia spoke, "It turns out our friends have decided to call off their alliance with the Commander," I could tell she was glad from her tone, "And instead, have decided to ally with us."
I felt like a little dagger was struck into my abdomen. The level of diplomacy on this woman was despicable, but at the same time, the fact that she considered me to be part of "us" was a sign that it was all working.
"With all due respect, Queen Nia," Kane spoke, and immediately I was struck with annoyance, "We did not quite say we were-,"
"What Ambassador Kane is trying to say," Clarke finally found her voice, and she glanced up at the queen, "We have some terms we need to discuss before we can make an ally of each other,"
Roan glanced at me. His confusion had turned into a slight rage.
And I couldn't help but smirk at him.
"Clarke," Kane was about to speak.
"As the representative of the Chancellor, and the people of Arkadia," Clarke spoke confidently, and almost, rehearsed, "I believe it will benefit my people if we come to an alliance with you. Lexa had betrayed us previously. What is to say she will not do it again?"
Without so much of a word, all eyes fell on Roan as he started walking in a fast, and angry, pace. His hand gripped on the pommel of his sword, and his gaze fixed on the entrance door, he had surprised the whole room when he stormed out.
"Check on my son," Queen Nia ordered Ontari.
"But," Ontari stammered, "I cannot leave you unguarded, my Queen."
"Xavier is here if I need any assistance," she said as she glanced at me. I smiled at her confidently, but felt the daggering glare from Ontari as she obeyed her queen and walked out after Roan.
"Now," Queen Nia said as she took her seat once again, "What are these terms you speak of?"
"We will not be part of this war," Clarke responded, "But that does not mean that you do not have our support. We will provide you with weapons that can kill dozens of Trikru soldiers in seconds."
I saw Kane glance at me.
He had no idea. He was as much in the dark as Roan was. But the difference was, he could not walk out.
"What is in it for you?" the Queen asked,
"In return for the weapons, we ask that once you triumph from this war against Lexa, you abolish the divisions of clans, and rule us all as one; in unity," Clarke responded.
Nia watched her, intrigued. Slightly tapping the edge of the armrest with her finger, she took in a deep breath and said, "It is a deal."
---
"What was that about, Clarke," Kane asked as we walked through the hallways to our respective rooms.
"It is what's best in this situation, Marcus," Clarke responding without meeting his gaze.
I walked ahead, pretending not to be interested in the conversation since there were two guards escorting us back to our rooms. If I joined in on the conversation, they'd get the hint that something was up.
"What do you mean," Kane asked, "What situation? How do you think your mother would react when she finds out?"
"I've already written to her," Clarke explained, "Everything is going accordingly,"
"Clarke," Kane stopped in his tracks and grabbed Clarke by her arm.
To which, the guards did not react well.
"Keep walking, Skaikru," one of them said in Trigedasleng, and pushed Kane forward.
To which, I responded by turning around and telling the guard in Trigedasleng, "You will treat the Queen's guests with respect."
The guard clenched his jaw and took a step back from Kane.
Kane glanced at me, his grip on Clarke still in tact, and said, "What happened to you? How can you look me in the eye and pretend you're one of them?"
And I did as he said. I looked him in the eye and pretended to be one of them, "Keep walking, Kane. I can't help you a second time."
Without wasting a second, I turned around and started walking. I could hear the rest of them resuming their walk, and when it came to my room, I went in without meeting any of their gazes.
What surprised me was, when I entered the room, there he was.
Roan.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I closed the door behind me. I looked around to see if Ontari was present, but to my luck, it was just the Prince.
"What are you planning?" he hissed as he approached me viciously.
Okay, maybe not my luck.
I held out my hands and took a step back, but ended up running into the door, "I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure it would work."
I gasped when Roan grabbed me by the throat and pressed me harder against the door. My hands gripped around his wrist, and my eyes began to well up.
This was not part of the plan.
Roan glared at me angrily, "You do not manipulate my mother without my knowledge, do you understand me?"
I managed to nod as I struggled to breath.
"And I will not have you make a mockery out of me," he growled, "I will not be fooled! Your sly attempt to unite with the Skaikru to defeat Lexa, and my mother at the same time. I see through you. I see through your devious mind!"
"I'm..." I managed to croak, "doing... it... for... you..."
And just like that, the anger turned into confusion, and his grip around my neck loosened, but he did not drop his hand. I took in a deep breath and tried to regain my vision.
"What are you talking about," Roan asked as he stared down at me.
I gulped, but couldn't respond.
He shoved me against the door once again and hissed, much closer to my face this time, "Talk, Skaikru!"
I glanced up at him and met his gaze, "I'm manipulating the Skaikru into allying with your mother, so that when she slips, you'll become King."
Roan's gaze softened, and he grew quiet.
"The sooner this war starts, the better it'll be for the both of us," I said softly, "I get to keep my head because of your lie about my pregnancy, and you'll become the King of Azgeda when your mother realizes that this is a war she will not win."
I didn't know what it was. Perhaps the lack of oxygen in my brain from his sudden attempt to suffocate me to death, but I felt myself losing into his gaze. I felt the flutters in my stomach, and his touch on my neck gentle and intoxicating.
"I'm doing this for you," the words escaped my lips softly.
I saw him gulp. He had not removed his gaze from me, but all I know is that there was not a single hint of rage in his eyes. The ice-coldness of his blue eyes was becoming less threatening as we stared at each other.
And without realizing I had, I glanced at his lips. My heart began to pound hard against my chest as I felt him grip the back of my neck and pull me in for the kiss. His other hand pulled me against him by my waist, and all I could feel was the adrenaline rush through me.
===