I never see your face anymore,
I never meet your eyes,
And from your perspective,
I can only assume that I occasionally cross your mind,
Maybe only once a month,
Or maybe not at all,
I guess I should be honest,
I'm never prepared for the fall,
And lately the drop has been quite deep,
I should have listened to him,
When he told me,
But instead,
I said
I'd be okay.
But now I see,
I made a mistake.
I tell them all I'm over you,
I tell myself I'm over you,
But am I really?
Or am I just forgetting,
All the things I loved about you,
Has none of what I've told them,
Even been true?
Often times I let my mind wander,
A lot of times it wonders back to you,
I can't really control what it does anymore,
I spend time to ponder,
Why after all these months,
You're still the first thought,
My senses come to.
I say that I hate love,
And I'll never fall for it again,
But at the same time,
I find myself forcing myself to love someone,
I find myself being dumb and blind.
I think it's just so I can prove to you I'm alright,
Or turn it into a sign,
Saying I don't love you,
So maybe you'll come back,
And maybe this time, I won't snap.
Though I guess one of my fears,
Is that I never really moved on,
And now the worst fear I ever thought of happened,
Because your gone,
It's been months now,
Almost half a year,
Makes me worry,
I'll never find someone as dear,
But I hope that I do,
Because for you,
I would have stollen all the stars and the moon,
I can only hope that what I'd give,
Doesn't go to waste,
Or get thrown away,
Or even shoved,
back into my face.
I guess I still really miss you,
I wish this feeling could change.
I'm sorry that I still fucking miss you.
I'm sorry that I still don't know how the fuck to move on,
But I'm not apologizing to you,
if that's what you think.
I'm apologizing to me,
Because at this point,
I deserve to feel free,
And not be cast away and held down by your god forsaken chains.
I'm sorry,
That now I've come to the realization,
It's been almost half a year,
And I still haven't moved on.