"No, I've got the plans. You cannot be upstairs, it's a one-storey building" Amy says, "there is no upstairs."
"What? What?" Craig asks looking around.
"Oh. Oh, of course. The time engine isn't in the flat, the time engine is the flat. Someone's attempt to build a TARDIS" the Doctor says.
"No, there's always been an upstairs" the door they have just come through flickers on and off.
"Has there? Think about it" {Y/N} says.
"Yes. No. I don't..."
"Perception filter. It's more than a disguise. It tricks your memory., there's a scream.
"Sophie! Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie!" Sophie is being pulled towards the central console by electricity.
"Craig."
"t's controlling her. It's willing her to touch the activator" the Doctor says.
"That's not going to have her" Sophie's hand is pulled onto a dome-shaped control. {Y/N} uses her sonic screwdriver.
"Ah, deadlock seal" she mutters.
"You've got to do something" Sophie falls back.
"What? Why's it let her go? So, ok" a man suddenly appears.
"You will help me."
"Right. Stop. Crashed ship, let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency" the Doctor says.
"The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. A pilot is required."
"You're the emergency crash program. A hologram. What, you've been luring people up here so you can try them out?" the hologram flickers between old man, young man, and girl.
"You will help me. You will help me. You will help me."
"Craig, what is this? Where am I?" Sophie asks.
"Hush. Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. But you're stupid, though. You just keep trying" the Doctor says.
"Seventeen people have been tried. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty-six remain."
"Seriously, what is going on?"
"Oh, for goodness sake. The top floor of Craig's building is, in reality, an alien spaceship intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No, good" {Y/N} says.
"Yes, I have questions."
"The correct pilot has now been found."
"Yes, I was a bit worried that you were going to say that," the Doctor says.
"He means you, Doctor, doesn't he?" Amy asks, the Autopilot uses its energy to drag the Doctor towards the console.
"No!" {Y/N} grabs the Doctor's hand, pulling him towards her.
"The correct pilot has been found. The correct pilot has been found. The correct pilot has been found."
"What's happening?" Amy asks.
"It's pulling the Doctor in. He's the new pilot" {Y/N} says.
"Could he, do it?" Amy asks, "could he fly the ship safely?"
"No, he's way too much for this ship. his hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does" {Y/N} groans pulling the Doctor back.
"The correct pilot has been found."
"No. Worst choice ever, I promise you. Stop this" the Doctor says, he jumps forward his hand only inches away, {Y/N} groans making the Doctor's hand move away slightly.
"Doctor? {Y/N}? It's getting worse" Amy says.
"It doesn't want everyone. Craig, it didn't want you" the Doctor says.
"I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him," Craig says.
"It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. What's changed?" the Doctor asks "argh. No. No, we gave her the idea of leaving It's a machine that needs to leave. It wants people who want to escape. And you don't want to leave, Craig. You're Mister Sofa Man"
"Doctor! {Y/N}!" Amy shouts.
"Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay" {Y/N} says, struggling to keep a hold of the Doctor.
"Craig, no."
"Will it work?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Is that a lie?"
"Of course, it's a lie!"
"It's good enough for me. Geronimo! Argh!" Craig puts his hand on the nearest control panel. The Doctor is released and falls back into {Y/N}.
"Craig!"
"Doctor! {Y/N}!" Amy shouts smoke is coming off Craig's hand.
"Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here. Why don't you want to leave?" {Y/N} asks.
"Sophie. I don't want to leave Sophie. I can't leave Sophie. I love Sophie" Craig says.
"I love you, too, Craig, you idiot" Sophie puts her hand on Craig's.
"Doctor! {Y/N}!"
"Honestly, do you mean that?"
"Of course, I mean it. Do you mean it?"
"I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it?"
"Yes."
"Ugh" Amy shouts.
"What about the monkeys?"
"Oh, not now, not again. Craig, the planet's about to burn. For God's sake, kiss the girl!" {Y/N} shouts.
"Kiss the girl!" Amy shouts, Craig and Sophie kiss, and his hand is released from the panel "Doctor? {Y/N}? You've done it. Haha! You've done it. Oh, now the screen's just zeros. Now it's minus ones, minus twos, minus threes. Big yes."
"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me."
"Big no," the Doctor says.
"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me" Craig and Sophie come up for air.
"Did we switch it off?" Craig asks.
"Emergency shutdown. It's imploding. Everybody out, out, out!" {Y/N} shouts.
"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me Help me. Help me. Help me."
"Doctor? {Y/N}?"
"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me" the Doctor, {Y/N}, Craig, and Sophie run down the stairs and outside. The top floor and roof turn into the Timeship which then flies away, leaving a totally incongruous one-story building at the end of an entirely two-storey terrace. A man walks by carrying a child.
"Look at them. Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished."
"Perception filter. There never was a top floor."
*Time Skip*
Craig and Sophie are snogging on the sofa.
"So have we spoiled our friendship, then?"
"Totally ruined it."
"And what about the monkeys? We could save them together, you know. Do whatever we want. I could see the point of Paris if you were there with me."
"First, let's destroy our friendship completely" the Doctor and {Y/N} enter from their room and turn their backs discreetly before leaving the keys on the sideboard.
"Oi."
"What, you're trying to sneak off?"
"Yes, well, you were sort of busy" the Doctor says.
"I want you two to keep these" Craig holds out the keys.
"Thank you. Because we might pop back soon, have another little stay" {Y/N} says.
"No, you won't. I've been in your heads, remember. I still want you to keep them."
"Thank you, Craig."
"Thank you, Doctor, {Y/N}."
"Sophie. Now then. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty-six people in the world. That's the number to beat."
"Yeah" the Doctor and {Y/N} leave. Behind the refrigerator with the photograph of the Doctor in his football kit and {Y/N} by his side, is a crack in the wall.
*Time Skip*
"Back in time. You need to go to the paper shop and leave that note for me and {Y/N}" the Doctor says, {Y/N} takes her coat off.
"Right little matchmaker, aren't you? Can't you find me a fellow?" Amy asks.
"Oh, rectifier's playing up again Hold on. You write the note and I'll change that will" the Doctor says.
"You got a pen?" Amy asks looking at {Y/N}
"Oh yeah, just make sure it's a red pen" Amy goes through {Y/N}'s jacket pockets and finds the ring box. She opens it and remembers a crack in her wall.
---
~Bread 🍞