The hidden truth.
Oh mom just what did I do?
I cried and cried to the point where am having a serious headache and not to mention puffy eyes.
I lazily got up from the kneeling position I was and head into the washroom I splashed water on my face before staring at the mirror, there is a girl staring back at me with very red puffy eyes a girl who needs her mother's comfort, a girl who needs a shoulder to lean on, a girl who needs her MOTHER. My lips curled up in a small sad smile. I splashed water one more time and head out.
I want to win her love, her affection I want to win all. I changed my outfit heading down to prepare dinner for us, thinking about it now i haven't had anything since morning. I was preparing the dinner when the front door opened signalling someone has come in, I look up seeing my mother. A smile found its way to my lips. That's fast she's back early maybe she wants to have a mother and daughter bond with me. Again I smile.
"hey mom welcome home you are back early, how was work today"? I move closer trying to take her coat from her which she beat me to it.
"yes, I am back early" she replied curtly. Am not gonna lie it hurts again so much but still yet I forced a smile.
"oh, okay. You should go change am preparing dinner".
"don't bother I have already had something on my way back". My smile fell I tried masking it but no matter how hard I try it's not working another pool of tears found their way back to my eyes and here I thought I got no tears left.
I didn't reply when I turn my heels and head to the kitchen, there's no point to finish cooking since its obvious she doesn't want to eat my meal. I turn off the stove, mumbling a good night to her and make my way to my room.
Stupid eyes are you having a pool party in my eyes? The tears flow one after the other I entered my room close the door slide against the door until I was seated on the floor before I broke into a sob.
Why does it hurt so much? Why? Why? No matter how hard I try she won't even oh no. I let out another sob.
......................
The whole week dragged by the same old routine me trying to make a conversation she making it short and simple.
It was Saturday I have nothing to do aside my assignments which am done with them, Given that I have less than a month to graduate and I doubt if she will be present let alone witness her child graduating. now I really don't have anything to do, I don't have friends and my mother works even on Sundays. A part of me wish.. I quickly erase the thought, have been crying non stop I need a break from too much crying.
I lay back flat my legs dangling almost touching the floor staring at the ceiling. I have so many questions I want to ask. Who is my father? How come there is never a picture of him? How come my mom is alone he's not here?
The questions are making my head hurts .