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Chapter 25 and a half (r)(new)
Caine had another really big bout of his "sickness", which is what I called it when he had his coughing fits where the black sludge plagued his body and made him vomit. It was a few weeks later and I had spent most of my day inside and bored.
Besides the daily training and one two hour shift I got patrolling outside, I didn't have anything to do. More often than not, Caine left me by myself to find and do whatever, as long as it wasn't bothering him or going outside unguarded. Which really sucked because that left me wondering around the castle, occasionally reading or weapons training, but never actually doing anything useful.
It was 11 o'clock at night and I waited restlessly in Caine's room, following his evening curfew he had in place. I wasn't tired. How could I be? I lazed around for most of the day, wondering and doing nothing. I felt as if I hadn't argued with Caine in forever, much less talk to him. I was in his room way before my curfew, contemplating all the ways I could get him riled up.
So I roasted myself on the fire wearing only my socks and a big t- shirt. With the weather cooling off I found myself more and more staring blankly into the fireplace and warming my ass.
Pathetic, I know.
This is where I was when Caine stumbled through the door, slamming it behind and shoving the bathroom door open.
I listened in disgust as he wretched his guts into the toilet, and with my buns nicely toasted I left the fireplace and treaded my way to the bathroom. I flicked on the fan and hopped up onto the counter, my legs dangling off the side.
"What's up, honey?"
Caine's eyes met mine and flashed with annoyance, and panic, as he heaved again.
I watched the muscles in his neck flex and scrunched my nose, any plans with Caine tonight that I had to cure my restless boredom was thrown out the window.
He stoop up, his hair also sticking straight up, and winced out he rinsed his mouth with water and mouthwash. Caine's eyes followed me the whole time.
"What's got you all sick again?" I asked and jumped down off the counter, following back to the bedroom where he stripped off his shirt and pants and collapsed on the bed.
He grunted, "nothing. I'm fine."
I rolled my eyes at his typical answer and stood next to him. He didn't protest when I pressed my hand to his forehead.
"Caine, I don't know how but you have a fever. Should I call someone..." I trailed off because I didn't know who could help him. Werewolves, especially ones like Caine, didn't get common sicknesses, our body's rapid healing never allowed them to stick.
Caine coughed and shook his head, " no. Just lay down and go to sleep, I'll be fine. I'm not sick."
I raised my eyebrow.
"Well if your not sick I was thinking you and I could have some fun tonight," I said seductively. Well, as seductively as you can say that sentence to someone who threw up in front of you just moments before.
I heard Caine's breathing falter for a moment before he turned to the other side and pulled back the covers.
"Strip and get in the bed," he growled lowly.
But I could tell that he was either too nauseous or tired to even sit up so I sighed, shut the lights off, and crawled under the covers with my shirt on.
Caine didn't notice or he didn't care that I hadn't followed his direct orders because the second I laid down next to him his breathing steadied and he fell asleep.
I didn't.
And when I don't know how many hours later he started convulsing, I was still awake.
"Caine!" I croaked out and shook him.
His eyes flew open, searching wildly around, and he was gripping into my wrists.
" The -the closet, in the corner. The drugs-" he winced and shuddered, releasing me and curling into himself. I nodded and hopped off the bed.
I had to keep in a sob, my heart was beating erratically with panic but I dashed to the closet and threw the clothes out of the corner.
"Caine WHERE?"
"My pocket," he hissed from the other room. I heard a heaving noise again and continued searching.
Finally in one of his jeans I found the dime bag of powdery substance.
I rushed back to the bed, " do you need to snort it or how-"
He shook his head and I was confused until he just pinched the powder into his mouth. As it dissolved his fever immediately broke and he relaxed, his spasms stopping.
" Shit, Caine," I heaved in a breath and tried to relax myself.
He opened his eyes and turned to face me. "It's alright. Everything is good." He said breathlessly.
I glared at him, " everything is not good, you idiot, wh- what the hell was that about?"
He wiped a hand over his forehead and then rested back, his breathing labored. Sweat formed readily from the broken fever and his eyes looked bloodshot. He pulled the cover over himself again and shut his eyes.
I didn't even know what to say to him.
"Now about what you said earlier, Lila. I think it's a great-" he pushed himself up on his elbows and stared at me through hooded eyes. I could tell that even that small movement was straining on him. "-fucking idea"
I snorted, the panic I had felt subsided and I knelt down next to the bed.
"Go to sleep, Caine. You're not touching me after whatever the heck just happened." I said pointedly and pushed him back down onto his pillow. He grumbled but his eyes were already closing with exhaustion.
"Tomorrow?" He growled lightly.
I snorted again, "you honestly will probably not even remember this happening."
" It's been months, the last time was when I," he grunted, "-raped you. I can't have that on my on my conscience anymore I need to feel you when you want it." His words were coming out in breaths as he fought to keep awake.
I cringed away at the words, dreading the day when they left Caine's mouth. Proving that it really did happen and it wasn't just a nightmare. When he raped me. Obviously the drugs were messing with his head, because he was barely awake and talking a bunch of nonsense.
With his face relaxed in sleep he looked way younger than he normally did. I wanted so badly to forget he was really like.
I brushed his hair off his forehead with my hand and trailed it along his stubbly jaw.
"I put that behind when I made that deal with you that night for information," I couldn't believe I had said the words when they left my mouth.
I wasn't really over it but something compelled me to tell him we were okay.
He turned in his sleep, "we didn't fuck that night. I told you I wasn't going to make you unless you wanted it... I drugged you and knocked...you out," he pulled the covers over himself, mumbling, "Then I brought you to your bed and fucking jerked off for an hour by myself."
As he rambled on, half asleep and half high from the drugs, I stared in realization at him. No wonder I had woken up the next morning in my bed, I had told myself over and over what had happened to a point where I had made myself believe something that wasn't real. Because besides going into Caine's room and him throwing me on the bed, I don't really recall much else of that night.
"We didn't have sex that night?"
Without opening his eyes he shook his head.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I waited for his response but it never came. I glanced down at his face and realized that Caine was asleep, the drug knocking him out cold.
~
I woke up to two giant hands lifting me out of bed and dropping me on the ground.
Caine, with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth motioned for me to look at the door. Where one of the castle maids was collecting the bed sheets in a laundry basket.
I eyed Caine, who besides his bloodshot eyes looked relatively normal. He made his way to the bathroom and I followed behind him.
He addressed the situation when he found me staring at him while he rinsed out his mouth.
"Fuck. What's wrong with you?" He said, irritation seeping through his voice.
I shook my head and squirted toothpaste in my own toothbrush. "Last night Caine-"
"Way to get a guys hopes up, Lila. I woke up and you hadn't followed my instructions." He snorted and I could tell he was trying to be condescending on purpose.
Except last night I had been exposed to a part of Caine that I hadn't been exposed to before. I tried to think back to what part of the night he was referring. It hit me that he was talking about the moment when he asked me to strip and get it bed.
"Yeah sorry but you barely made it to bed before falling asleep. I'm not sure if you could've handled it. What time did you wake up anyway?" I inquired, trying to sound as nonchalantly possible.
He shrugged and pulled a black t-shirt over his head, "a half hour ago. I haven't slept that long in a while."
He definitely did not remember what had happened last night. My breath went short for a second at the possibilities of what that could mean. Well one things for sure was that Caine had been lying to me for a while about us not sleeping together that one night and I wasn't sure why.
"You slept through the whole night?" I asked just to make sure.
I felt him behind me and his hands on my hips, his stubbles scratched my jaw as he breathed in my scent. "Hmmm maybe cause your sweet ass was tucked against me all night," he said huskily as one of his hands trailed under my t-shirt.
I froze just as the toothbrush hit my mouth and stared at him. I couldn't believe he didn't remember what had happened, the drug he was on must've been stronger than I assumed.
"You're going to uphold that offer you made last night, sweetheart. Isn't that right?" His voice made me lose my head for a second but I don't think I could. Not with all of the lies between us. Not until he came clean, for real.
I rinsed my mouth out and spun around, ignoring the pressure at my stomach when I did. "I can't remember what offer you're referring to, honey." I shrugged and ducked under his arms.
His jaw ticked with annoyance and I raised an eyebrow as repositioned himself in his sweats.
"You're a fucking tease, Lilianna. If you have such a problem with me still don't pretend you don't." He snarled from the doorway.
My temper spiked, "and you're a fucking liar." I hissed. It wasn't fair for him to call me out, not after what he had done. There were no excuses for his sins.
"Watch your tone," he growled at me and gripped the doorframe.
I curled my lip up into a sneer, "the only good thing about sleeping in here with you is that you talk in your sleep Caine," I sauntered towards him, a challenging look on my face. "... and last night, Babe, you spilled your guts."
This was technically a lie, but two had to play this game.
He smiled lazily at me and and began to push towards me. "Were they what you wanted? Did you find answers, Lila?" His gaze dropped to my lips and I swallowed hard.
"Before the demon hunt, remember the deal you and I had. Full moon?" I crossed my arms over my chest. I watched with satisfaction that Caine's pupils dilated for a moment, which meant that his heart rate had spiked, which meant that he was nervous.
"Why didn't you tell me that we didn't have sex?"
Caine seemed to relax as he ran a hand through his dark hair. " I don't see why you're upset that we didn't fuck... you didn't want it and I could tell."
I crossed my arms over my chest, "it's the fact that you lied about it that bothers me, Caine. Frankly, I'm grateful that we didn't. The thought of having you inside me or touching me is repulsive. It makes me sick." I spat out the last words with as much malice as I could muster.
Caine tensed briefly as the words came out of my mouth and hurt flashed across his face, but in a second his features were replaced by a stony glare.
"You just proved my point, mate. And you and I will always have secrets. Don't be naïve to believe that a person like me will tell you everything. You know what's good for you and nothing else. Maybe if you grew up and stopped acting so foolish you might realize it." He was standing right in front of me now, the calmness of his voice unsettling me beyond measure.
I stepped away from him before he could touch me or grab me or something to get a grip on my thoughts.
"I want to be alone for a few minutes. Is that fine with you, Alpha?" I ground out quietly.
Without looking at me he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.