I was anxiously twisting my fingers in every directions. JongIn sat next to me, jason sat on a chair far enough so he wouldn't listen to the talk, we were waiting for the lawyer to finish examining my case. She suddenly put down her hand on the desk with a sigh and gave me a confused look.
"So, after all that happened, you're asking me to make sure he won't go to prison but a center for mental health?
-Yes." I said my voice low.
"Do you realize that after raping you, kidnapping you and causing you to lost your baby it's almost impossible?
-I know, but Maybe if I can make the jury and judge understand it is what is best for him... I mean... He already has been in jail and it didn't help at all." I add desperate.
"I understand your words, Miss Brewly. I will try my best but it's not easy.
-I know very well. That's why I will be forever grateful to you if you can do it.
-Are you sure you won't regret it?" She asked, for a moment I almost thought she was sincerely concerned.
"Yeah, I thought about it long enough to be sure.
-Does your partner think the same?"She said glancing over at JongIn who had been silent since the beginning.
He straightened in his chair, looking suddenly interested by the conversation. He looked over at the lawyer and then at me. He sighed and then his eyes went back to the woman in front of us.
"If it was up to me, he would be either dead or in jail." He said coldly enough to send shivers down my spine.
"I see. You should agree both on it because we might need your partner's cooperation." She told me with a soft tone but I wasn't focusing on her. I could only look at JongIn.
"Where did the 'I'll support you no matter what you choose to do' go, hu?" I said on a more aggressive tone that I meant.
"I never said I was not supporting you. I just can't deal with the idea that he did all of this to you! He is guilty for everything he did so he should go to jail.
-So you wanna talk about guilt now? Do you really want me to go on this field, JongIn? Do you?" I said more than annoyed by his tone and the careless attitude he had shown until the lawyer asked for his opinion.
He looked at me slightly shocked but at the same time he couldn't answer to that. His eyes went to the lawyer as if looking for help but she didn't say a word. I looked back at Jason to see if he was listening and he was not, he was playing with a car toy, peacefully. I turned back toward the lawyer.
"Anyway, what you think about it doesn't matter. I am the victim, I don't want him to go to jail and you are my lawyer so it's my decision that count.
-As you want miss Brewly. If this is what you want, I will organize a meeting with the defendant and his lawyer so we can talk about it. Do you want to be there?
-If it's not necessary, we...
-Call me to give me the date of the meeting and I'll tell if I can come." I answered, interrupting JongIn.
The lawyer nodded with a smile and tended me her hand. I gladly shook it and without a smile to neither her or JongIn, I went to Jason who automatically held my hand and exited the room. JongIn was not far behind us. we went to the car and I put jason on the back seat. As I was about to go to the driver seat, JongIn stopped me. He pulled me by the wrist to make a few steps away from the car.
"Tiana, are you seriously going to meet with him when you said you wouldn't anymore?
-I need to make sure he won't try to go to jail and not follow his promise!
-You don't have to go there to do so! I won't let you go!" he yelled at me.
"I don't need you permission to do anything, JongIn! I'm a grown woman and I do whatever I want.
-No you don't! When it can put you in danger, you don't!
-I won't be in danger! You say that just because you still wanna blame everything that happened on him!
-Bullshit!
-You're being like that because he opened our eyes on how much of a monster is your father! You seems to forget he is a victim too!" He glared at me.
"You can glare at me all you want but your father took advantage of his obsession to hurt me. He is mentally unstable and your father probably knew it!
-It's not my father who made him rape you as I know!
-So now you're defending your father? You think the rape is worse than what i've been through while I was pregnant?" I yelled back at him. I knew everyone around was looking at us.
"I never said that! I'm saying he should pay for what he did!
-And it's up to me to decide how! It doesn't concern you!
-It does! You're my wife and...
-I'm not your wife, Jongin!" I shouted, annoyed.
"And the way things are going right now, I may never ever be!" I let out and I was really thinking it. How was I supposed to marry him with the way we were at this moment.
He eyes became dark with sadness and anger probably. He didn't even said anything back. He opened his mouth but quickly shut it and silently walked to the car. He opened the passenger door and hopped in, I did the same on the driver seat. I was so angry but still I was driving carefully. I was starting to calm down when JongIn went back at it.
"Even if you say mean things it doesn't mean I will let you go to this meeting with him.
-JongIn, for the last time you're not my father. I will go and you won't prevent me from doing so!
-You won't go!
-JongIn, I'm warning you. I don't have the time nor the will to obey you as a little puppy concerning this matter. If you still wanna try to order me around, just try me!" I said sternly. For a moment he stayed silent, probably contemplating if he really wanted to answer to this.
"If you go to that meeting it will be over my dead body!"
I had enough, I just turned the wheel to get on the emergency lane. I parked there without caring about the fact that I might have cause an accident.
"Get out!" I said trying to stay calm.
"Why?Let's just go home, already." He told me on tired tone.
"JongIn, I told you to get out!" I said glaring at him. He looked at me in the eyes and didn't move an inch.
"You ain't getting out? Ok, as you want." I said unbuckling my seat belt.
I hopped out of the car and went to his side. I opened his door, unbuckled his seat belt. Then I tried to pull him out of the car. He wasn't letting me do it and struggled.
"I told you to get out!
-Stop it!"
He was struggling with so much force that he pushed me down. I fell on the concrete, feeling pain in my back. His eyes opened wide when he saw me stroking my back, sat on the floor. He hopped out of the car and came to me. He tried to touch me but I slapped his hand and stood up on my own.
"Don't touch me!"
I closed the door of the car on his side and then went to mine and he followed me, trying to check if I was alright. I just hopped in the driver seat and looked at him deep in the eyes.
"If I knew it was going to be like that I would have come back alone with Jason." I said coldly. I didn't want him near me.
"All I'm trying to do is protecting you!
-No! You're trying to control me, JongIn! This is not protection nor love!
-It is! I do this because I care about you!"
I felt like we were going back to the conversation we had the night before taking the plane. He wasn't understanding how I was feeling and I had enough on my count with the trial to have any will to deal with him. I closed the door of the car. I locked all the doors as he was yelling my name out of the window, trying to open the door.
"Tiana! Let me in! Let's talk!" He kept on yelling. I slightly opened the window just so he could hear me.
"I'm tired of telling you the same things and you still don't understand.
-You're the one not understanding! I'm just trying to protect you!" I sighed again. He sounded like a damaged disk, repeating the same thing over again and again.
"Find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Right now, I think I hate you. You sound and act like your father and I very much hate it. I don't even want to sleep in the same place as you. So use that good money that you're making while working so much and sleep at an hotel or wherever you want, I don't care." I said on a flat tone, tired, annoyed, disappointed.
I didn't even look at his face when I said that. He probably was deeply hurt but I couldn't bring myself to care at this moment. I was exhausted, I had said mean things but I meant them and maybe at least it would have made him think about where he went wrong. I closed the window completely and drive out of the parking lane, leaving JongIn there. I didn't even look in the mirror, I was scared I would have had second thoughts if I did.
after a slightly long ride we were back home. I parked and went down. I went to help Jason get down too. He stayed silent all the way up to the apartment. He didn't even looked at me as we entered in, he simply went to his room without a word. I was ashamed of the way we argued in front of him but I couldn't do anything about it anymore. I went upstairs and got change into sweatpants that were more comfortable and then got back down. The first view I got when I was going down was JongIn's computer still resting on the coffee table. It only made me angrier to see it and I thought about seriously throwing it by the window but instead I took it and put it back in his bag. I then went to the kitchen and took an ice cream pack. It was supposed to be for Jason sweet and spicy but since we woke up late I didn't have time to prepare it in the morning.
I went to sat on the sofa in the living room with my ice cream pack and a blanket. I turned the tv on and started watching ridiculous shows. I wasn't paying much attention to them but it still felt strange after so much time watching korean shows to be back to american ones. I started eating the pack. I wasn't even enjoying it. I was now eating more but I was still not enjoying much the food.
I was sometime wondering if I was still depressed and if it was the reason why I felt so vexed about JongIn not supporting me but it wasn't changing the fact that the way he was becoming since he promised to avenge our daughter's death really looked like how his mother described his father before he sent her away and he was giving me the same shivers his father did. I hate that I was comparing them but I couldn't deceive myself, he is indeed his father and blood is thicker than water. I hate the idea of him becoming like his father but this is what was happening.
I suddenly remembered that I never had done what the doctor had told me to do, the exercises in front the mirror. I sounded so ridiculous that I never had bothered to do them but maybe she was right, maybe I needed this kind of exercises.
*Kai's POV*
Her words were echoing in my head as I was watching the car leave. She had told me I was like my father, what was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to react? Could I even deny it? I was his son, I had his blood, he had raised me, so I understand people telling me I look like him but coming from her it was hurting me deeply. I knew that she meant it and felt like my world was disappearing in front of me.
My head had been full of putting my father down and protect her no matter what until then that I had missed on something important. I was still not quite understanding what it was but it was important and now I had missed it, I felt like I was close to lose Tiana too. When she said that she might never be my wife I thought she was saying it because she was furious but the more I was thinking about it and the more I started to feel like she was more serious that I wanted to admit it.
I knew I had done something wrong but at the same time I couldn't understand how me wanting to protect her was wrong nor how wanting Kevin as far from her as possible was wrong. I stayed there in daze for a moment before a horn sound wake me up. I turned to look at the car who had do so. It was an old man. He looked at me worried.
"Are you ok, young man?
-Yes. I'm just waiting for a Taxi." I said hoping he would go away but he didn't. Instead he stared at me for a moment.
"What? Is there something on my face?
-You look kinda familiar for some reason. I don't know why but I won't bother you any longer, young man! Have a nice day." He said waving at me.
I called out to a taxi just after he left. I asked him to drop me to the nearest hotel, I didn't care which one. He nodded as I got in his car and during the whole drive he kept on glancing at me. It was uncomfortable but the thought of not being able to sleep by Tiana's side at night was even worse.
The Taxi dropped me at an hotel, I gave him a good tip and went to book a room. It was a luxurious one, I always was content with luxurious room but its size made me felt lonely at the moment. The king size bed, the big TV, the big bathtub where two could fit. I threw my vest on a chair and went to lay on the bed. I missed her already. We weren't always next to each other but knowing that I couldn't go see her if I wanted to was killing me.
I fished my phone out of my pocket and tried to calling her. At first I waited but she didn't answer so I called again and again. After 6 calls I could tell she was actually hanging up because I was hearing a few ring before it went completely silent. I tried texting her.
"I'm sorry, I miss you." I wait for a possible answer but nothing.
"I can tell I have fucked up, just tell me what I did wrong." I tried again but same.
"I love you, I can't sleep without you! Please, babe." I send again.
"Tiana, please answer me."
"Can I come home? I want to hold you, please."
"I'm sorry that I have yelled at you earlier. Let's calmly talk about the situation, ok?" I tried again and soon I was granted with an unexpected answer.
"I'm turning my phone off." was all I got as a response for all my messages.
I tried calling her again and it wasn't even ringing anymore. She really had turned her phone off. I threw my phone behind me and let out a growl of frustration. Things were really not going good these days between us but how were we supposed to settle things down if she was trying to avoid me! I hadn't taken anything with me to work or distract me but my phone. I couldn't work properly without my computer and I didn't have the documents I needed on my phone. Still I decided to look at my mail, it was the only thing I could do to kill some time.
There was nothing interesting but work I had already done or that I couldn't do without my computer. Then I saw a mail from my father. At first I didn't want to open it but I did since I was bored and alone. I read it and couldn't help but feel angry and disappointed at the content.
" Son, we shouldn't do that. You're my son and I'm your father. We shouldn't start a war like that. I know you've been meeting with the shareholders often these days. I don't know what you are trying to do but it won't work. They have a sense of loyalty. Just give up, come apologize and I will too.
I swear I didn't know about her being pregnant, I'm not such a monster to let a baby die, am I?
Come home, send that woman back to her country a marry to krystal. It's what is best for you, and this woman. Do you think I will let you spend your life with a woman like her? I do that for you and some day you'll thank me!"
I didn't even wanted to answer to it. He thought he was so great and almighty but the truth is that because I've been talking to the shareholders and spending so much time with them, sending gift to their wives and kids they were pretty much on my side. I was the present and future of the business and my father was the past. Being on his side wasn't of any advantages for them. The time I would kick him out of the business was coming slowly but surely. It was only the first step toward his end. Going insane after losing everything, this is what I want him to feel. It would never be as painful as the moment Tiana's body rolled down these stairs only to end in a pool of blood right in front of my eyes. It could never be as painful as holding the one you love in your arm and see her slowly dying. This pain I felt, the pain we both felt when we lose our precious daughter, he can never feel it but at least just a little, if what I was planning could make him understand a little, if it could put Tiana away from any harm, if we could finally live happily and think about marriage and kids without fearing anything then I was willing to do anything for this plan to work. It didn't matter if I was a little hurt in the process, it didn't matter if I had to humiliate myself , if I had to crawl down in dirt. All I wanted was to see Tiana smile with tears in her eyes as she was holding our second child her wedding ring proudly shining on her finger.
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So~ I've been writing a lot these days since I was in vacation. I won't be anymore on Tuesday, I'm so sad~ !
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The two last paragraphs were the hardest to write, I don't even know why!
For the one who wanted a little story time here it is:
remember this little fucker who was trying to flirt with me when he had a girlfriend? He came to the new year party I was at. I was tipsy enough to not have any filter so I just act as normal around him. I was tired of trying to avoid him. I usually have a way of acting with people I like as more than a friend and those i just see as friend. With friend I'm really carefree, I'm really tactile and even if I feel like he is interested in me, I can't help but be myself. I feel like I maybe was giving him false hope but at the same he is the one coming to me and I just act like I do with everyone. The thing is that because he likes to tease me and I like to answer to teasing like that, I end up acting as if I was interested when it's not the case.
I talk with my friend who was curious about if I was interested or not and I talk to her about why I didn't even wanted to considered it for now and She said she understood but at the same time she said that I might be more interested that I want to admit. This friend saw us talking and dancing together. The dance wasn't any simple dance I have to admit it, it is some dance from west indies called Zouk....and it look in fact kind of sensual , even if we dance it with parents and family too. He even try to kiss me while we were dancing but I avoided it multiple times.
Anyway~ as always, things are complicated in my love life and I would like to go back to when I was in mom's belly, it was the most peaceful time of my life LMAO!
I'll see y'all in the next chapter, until then have a nice time and don't live like me!