Hi guys...
I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update for a while now. I just realized that writing and studying medicine isn't something I can juggle to and fro from. Either one needs my full attention. I know you guys have probably forgotten the story line and that's totally okay. Thank you to all those who've been sending me messages asking if everything was okay. I really appreciate❤☺
Yasmeen's POV
Over the next few days,my life revolved around the hospital.
Different thoughts running through my mind. Was I going to lose someone close to me again? After the loss of mama, I thought no other loss would ever affect me but I was very wrong.
Just the mere thought of losing Afrah brought involuntary tears into my eyes. She was too young to be in so much pain. Her heart was so weak and without a transplant soon,we might lose her.
I wiped my tears and checked up on her. She was sound asleep. The heart monitor beating at an irregular pace. A drip was on her arm giving her the necessary fluids and electrolytes her body needed because she was too weak to eat.
There was an oxygen mask on her face helping her to breathe. She looked so peaceful.
I walked over and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. I felt a tear slip and I hurriedly wiped it away. All I had been doing was crying these days.
I left the ward,closing the door gently behind me.
I met Amira at the elevator on my way home.
"Finally decided to go home?" She asked.
She looked weak,tired and exhausted. I hardly see her smile anymore. No one ever smiles anymore and that was breaking my heart.
When did we all become this broken? Maybe all along,our family was at the brink of the ice. Just waiting for the right moment, when the ice would melt and everything goes away with it.
I nodded. "I think I'll stop by the fashion house."
"Okay. See you later."
She turned to leave and I stopped her.
"Where's baba?" She shrugged. I understood.
He came only once to see her. Just once to see his dying daughter. What kind of a father was he? I was trying so hard not to hate him. I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt. Trying to understand where he was coming from but it started to look pointless to me.
Why give excuses to someone who didn't even care?
I didn't care what he did anymore and I was going to make sure that I never had to ask him for anything anymore. I could live without him. We all could. And we're going to make him realize that.
***
I took my bath and changed into a long sleeved gown.
I looked into the mirror and saw the bags under my eyes. I applied some concealer and rubbed powder. They weren't as visible as before.
I needed to do something to distract myself from the fact that my whole life was falling apart.
I drove over to the site. On arrival, I didn't even notice whether there was any progress or not. I just went straight to my tiny office ignoring the looks the workers were giving me.
Few minutes after I was seated, there was a knock on the door.
The door opened and it was Yazid. With everything happening lately, I kind of forgot about him.
But when I saw him, I got that feeling I get every time I see him. The one that makes my heart skip a beat but right now, I felt safe and comforted. His mere presence made me feel that way.
He asked something but I was too deep into my thoughts to actually hear him. I just kept staring at the wall as if it had all the answers in the world. All the answers that would make my life easier. All the answers that would set me free.
I was yet again interrupted from my serene state when Salman barged into the office.
My mood turned sour immediately. He was blabbing his usual nonsense and he was really pissing me off.
How dare he come into my personal territory and say all that shit to me when he and his mum didn't even care what happened to us. Atleast his sisters came,but his mum didn't even come.
Not that I cared or anything but he was getting on my nerves,acting like everything was fine.
How and why did I ever have a crush on this douche bag.
I screamed at him and threw the flower vase. My anger was getting the better of me.
The rush of adrenaline I felt dissipated,leaving me a weak,sobbing mess.
I totally forgot Yazid was in the room until he asked to look at my hands which I didn't realize was bleeding. But I didn't feel anything. Just numb. The pain was from within. So much was just happening within a span of so little time.
"Does it hurt?" He asked while cleaning the blood. I didn't like the fact that I liked how his hands felt holding mine. They were firm and strong and also soft at the same time.
He asked for my story. What story did I have to share? Who was I? I didn't even know.
I asked about his story too but he casually brushed it off saying another time.
So I decided to tell him my life story. I cut out some parts but it felt really good to have someone to talk to. To finally let it all out.
***
Yazid's POV
I listened as she told me about her. About losing her mother. I would never know the pain of losing a mother,no one does unless they've experienced it and I couldn't imagine life without my mother in it. I could feel the pain in her words as she described her mother and how she misses her.
"Many things remind me of her you know. The whole house has her print. Any where I go,anything I touch,I'm reminded of her and it hurts so much. You see,my mother was the kind of person who puts the people she loves first even before herself. Anytime I'm down or having a bad time, and she just smiles at me, I feel like everything was going to be okay. We could be in the middle of war,a desert, or nowhere and all she had to do was kneel before me,hold my hands,kiss my forehead, smile at me and tell me that everything's going to be okay and none of all those things will ever matter. I miss her. I miss her so much and I wish she was here to be with me,with us. My family is falling apart and I wish she was here to hold us up."
She sobbed and I couldn't stop the tear that slipped. I wiped it before she could see it.
"I'm really sorry. May Allah grant her the highest rank in Jannah. You'll be united with her someday in sha Allah."
After she sobered up, she continued with how distant her father became. She told me all about the cheerful and kind dad he was before he changed after her mother died.
And I couldn't believe that he would ever leave them to go through all that alone. He deserted them when they needed him the most. Why were fathers always like that? They loved taking the easy way out. If things become too much for them to handle,they either shut you out or leave. I promised my self that I would never be that kind of a father.
"We were supposed to grieve together. We needed him to be strong for us but I guess he wasn't strong enough. The last time I saw my father smile was when Afrah was born right before the doctor gave the news of my mother's death. He cried. He cried so much. I'd never see him cry that much and we ended up consoling him while we were dealing the pain and disbelief of losing her. We thought things would change in a few weeks but he never left his room. He became a shadow of himself and that's when I had enough and travelled to Paris for my uni. I couldn't stand seeing my dad lose himself. We all moved on,still learning to deal with the pain but he never did."
I didn't know what to think about all what she said. I didn't know whether to feel sorry for him or be angry at him even though I had no right to be. But he should've been there for them. They needed him.
She then moved on to tell me about Afrah's heart condition and the reason why she had been away for that long.
I wish there was something I could do. I felt useless not being able to help her.
"She's a really sweet girl. I love her so much and I'm scared that we're going to lose her too. I can't handle it..I really can't.."
And she broke into another sob.
"Shh..it's Okay. She'll be fine. Just keep praying for her. May Allah grant her shifa."
"Ameen," she whispered. "Thank you for being here. Means a lot to me."
"Anytime."
"I kind of feel better letting it all out."
"That's the beauty in not keeping things to yourself. As they say, a problem shared is half solved."
She smiled and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. I felt on top of the world being the reason why she was smiling.
She was going through so much but she was strong. And I admired her for that.
"I've got to get going," she said standing up. "I want to go and see Afrah."
"Okay," I said while standing up.
We both stared at each other. Not saying a word.
She cleared her throat. "Want to follow me?"
I was shocked and didn't reply her.
"Ehrm..i'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. See you later." She said embarrassed.
"No,no. I'd love to. I was just surprised. I'm sorry. Thanks let's go." I said nervously.
No woman had ever made me nervous.
She smiled again and my heart skipped a beat.
I smiled back and we left the tiny office. I couldn't help but think 'I could get used to this.'
***
Dedicated to all those who've lost a mother or a parent or anyone close to them. It's never easy and May Allah grant the departed souls the highest rank in Jannah. May He fill their grave with noor. Ameen ya rabbi. Ma'asalam!
Love,
Siyyamah🍂