Malibu, California LA
2015, May 12 Tuesday
12 : 21 pm
Beyoncé Knowles Fenty
My mind has been overflowing with lyrics. Rih spoke to Timberland and he's been sending me beats to write over. And with me missing my wife so much, I'm just overwhelmed with emotions
I thought that things like this get better with time
But I still need you, why is that?
You're the only image in my mind
So I still see you... around
I miss you like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
Said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?
I sang in the recording booth with Drake and Timberland. Rih's birthday is coming up in a few weeks, my baby is turning 27 years old. I can't believe I've known her since she was only 20 going on 21 years old
(I know her real birthday is in February, this is strictly for fictional purposes)
So I was planning on throwing her a birthday party to celebrate her life. I wanted to find any family members she has so they could come celebrate with us.
Something has been bothering me from the beginning, Rih never spoke about her family. We both didn't actually but at least she knows something about my life.
She only told me that her mom and dad passed away and she was in foster care for a period of time until she got herself out and that's it.
We're married and about to have more kids together, I feel like I deserve to know more than just that about her.
Words don't ever seem to come out right
But I still mean them, why is that?
It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel
But I still need to, why is that?
I miss you like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?
Since our last phone call, I really miss my baby. Like really really miss her. Rih has been a big part of my life since day one.
I could never understand why love with her was so natural and easier. Then I remembered that everyone is created with a soulmate and it's just that not everyone is fortunate enough to meet theirs.
Well I was, I can feel it in my bones that she was created for me. I feel like I haven't shown her enough times how loved she is by me. So it's time that changed.
It don't matter who you are
It is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything
No matter who you love
It is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything
I miss you like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?
I opened my eyes as the song came to an end and found the guys staring at me abnormally. I furrowed my eyes at them in question
"You're fucken insane!" Aubrey said excitedly with Timb nodding in agreement. I chuckled as they continued to hype me up
"We gotta release that shit BB, your voice is fire man!" Aubrey continued, I shook my head at that
"No no this is only for my baby, I don't want to make music" I said wobbling out of the booth. Yeah I'm only 7 months along and I'm already wobbling, smh.
"Come on Bey, this is just what the industry needs. I'm so sick and tired of hearing untalented ass bitches sing basic ass songs every five minutes. We need this Whitney Houston type of music!" He continued again, I still shook your head at the idea
"I gotta agree with Drake, there's nothing like this in the market. People miss good music" Timb said too.
I loved singing, it helped me through a lot of things in my life but it's fame that I have a problem with. I can't deal with people being in my business all the time. It's bad enough with the recognition Rih is getting with FentyBeauty
"Ok fine, I'll think about it and get back to you" I said to them. Aubrey accepted that answer.
☂️
Hidden Hills, California CA
2015, May 14 Thursday
01 : 03 pm
Sabrina Billini
"Aww look at you! You're so grown and so beautiful! My friend awed over me, I chuckled before we hugged again.
I haven't seen her in nearly 7 years, we liked going to the trap house together just for fun actually and I could always just fan girl over Bird to her.
I called her a day ago asking for a place to stay and luckily she was more than will to accommodate me.
"I see you're still as sexy as ever!" I said then we shared a laugh.
"Oh my God, this place is really nice Aurelie. A teacher's salary pays all of this?" I said looking around her apartment, it's super stunning
"Uh no, with a body like this I don't have to pay for anything hunny" she said sounding as fierce as ever.
I eventually settled in her guest room, I unpacked a couple of stuff before taking a shower. After my very long shower, I went downstairs and found her making food.
"That smells good, what is it?" I asked taking a seat on the kitchen stool
"Soup, I know weird" she said laughing. She dished up for the both of us and we enjoyed it in silence.
"So what are you planning to do with your life?" She asked looking at me
"I don't know really... I was thinking of going back to school but I need something to do in the meanwhile" I responded.
I would take anything just to take my mind off thinking about my life. I didn't know how to approach being back in my daughter's life
"I'm sure something will come up" she said trying to comfort me.
☂️
Hidden Hills, California CA
2015, May 28 Thursday
02 : 21 pm
"Okay babe, so remember my friend Beyoncé?" Relie asked flopping on the bed next to me, I turned to look at her then nodded
"The one you have a crush on?" I teased her making her roll her eyes at me, she pushed my shoulder slightly making me laugh more
"I do NOT have a crush on her. I just think she's adorable and smart, plus she's married" she defended but I didn't buy it
"Yeah whatever. What about her?" I asked, she remembered what she wanted to say
"Oh yeah, her nanny had to go back to the Philippines cause her mom got sick and now she's in need of a babysitter. You're not doing anything right now so... I was thinking maybe you could help her out?" She asked pouting at me already. She batted her eyes at me while holding a pout on her face
I rolled my eyes at that shit still working on me "Okay fine, I guess I have nothing else better to do anyway" I said before sighing
She squealed then hugged me tightly, "thank you! She can finally stop stressing about this now" she said smiling
"You really care about her, just don't get yourself hurt babe" I said to her. I know how it feels like falling for someone who's not into you
"I won't, I told you I don't have feelings for her" she said fiddling with her nails
"If you say so" I said knowing just as she does that what she said is bullshit.
I guess I gotta get ready for this job then.